You Don’t Want a Hug, Right? The Hilarity and the Hard of Raising Humans with Neurodiversity Gwen & Kristen

One year!! Can you believe we made it this far, friends? Because we sure can’t. You Don’t Want a Hug has officially been published for a year, and it has been a wild ride.


In today’s episode, we’re sharing joy, frustration, hope, and gratitude as we look back on this last year of podcasting. We’ll be discussing the many lessons we’ve learned, reading notes sent to us by you lovely listeners, offering advice here and there, and we’re going to be pretty raw and honest about the future of the podcast. 


Quite frankly, we need your help to keep this podcast going. If you want to support us and the production of YDWAHR, consider donating to our GoFundMe here:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/fund-the-future-of-you-dont-want-a-hug?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&attribution_id=sl:05e43f5c-1789-4820-8549-9a5b3e1f75f6 


This fun little episode is one you can’t miss! Let’s dive in!


In this episode, you’ll learn…


[00:00] Intro


[01:04] Gwen and Kristen celebrate a very special birthaversary


[02:52] Gwen’s Rylanism that captures the very real feelings she’s having about her kids today


[09:15] What Gwen and Kristen have learned after a year of podcasting


[12:02] Listener emails we’ve received covering isolation from local community, finding reassurance and joy in this podcast, and affirmations for Gwen’s bird obsession


[18:05] Kristen’s advice on teaching autistic children how to swim


[26:03] The future of You Don’t Want a Hug, Right?


Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-24-it’s-our-birthaversary-a-look-back-and-the-future-of-the-podcast


If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

And we’re not going to sugar coat it friends: navigating puberty with neurodivergent kids is rough. And it’s not just because we have to explain to our kids the importance of showering and explaining the function of certain parts of their anatomy in great and uncomfortable detail.
Puberty also brings with it some intense emotional and personality changes. The little kids that we knew so well are maturing into adults that we often don’t understand quite as well anymore, and that transition can be tough too.
In this episode, we’re reflecting on what puberty looked like for our kids, the direct and honest ways we navigated conversations with our kids, and the tricky emotional and relationship territory that our kids find themselves in now. 
All these changes are necessary and important… but that doesn’t make it easy. We’re here for you, friends, as you travel down this road. Let’s dive in! 
In this episode, you’ll learn…
[00:00] Intro
[01:56] Gwen’s very exciting Rylansim and a Grahamism that highlights some personal growth
[06:16] Why puberty and autism don’t mix well (according to both science and personal experience!)
[11:25] The very factual, detailed approach that can help some neurodivergent kids navigate puberty more easily (and why it doesn’t work for all of them)
[17:48] The stark personality changes that Gwen and Kristen’s kids went through during puberty
[21:11] The difficulties in navigating sexuality and sexual behavior in neurodivergent teens
[27:44] Why some neurodivergent teens experience additional fear and uncertainty than their peers when it comes to growing up and maturing in new ways
[35:19] The Last Word
Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-23-puberty-autism-don-t-mix-navigating-puberty-with-our-neurodivergent-kids
If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Burnout. It’s a word that comes up often in society and is often synonymous with being tired and needing a vacation. But when it comes to neurodivergent folks, autistic burnout can look radically different and have long-lasting effects.
In today’s episode, Becca Lory Hector shares her experience of being diagnosed with autism as an adult after an extensive bout of autistic burnout. She explains why her burnout occurred, what support she wished she had received, and what might have kept her from getting to that point, if only she’d had the language and framework to ask for the support she needed.
She also shares what a workplace that doesn’t only include neurodivergent folks, but offers them truly belonging, would look like, and why this change is so necessary for our workplaces.
Becca shares so much of herself, and her insights are so enlightening for the parents of autistic and neurodivergent kids. Let’s jump in!
In this episode, you’ll learn…
[00:00] Intro
[02:07] Gwen and Kristen recap their lives since the last episode and share their Rylanism and Grahamism
[09:54] An introduction to who Becca Lory Hector is and why she’s so passionate about advocacy
[13:07] Becca’s experience of receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult
[17:03] The way Becca’s autism presents, after masking for so many years
[22:10] Becca’s perspective on how parents can prepare their autistic children to advocate for themselves
[26:24] What autistic burnout is and how it presents differently than is often portrayed in society
[34:58] The support Becca wishes she could have received while recovering from autistic burnout
[43:16] Why our workplaces need to change and not just for those with neurodivergence
[48:21] The “B” in DEIB and why it’s crucial when it comes to making space for autistic folks in the workplace
[58:17] The Last Word
Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-22-flipping-the-lens-the-autistic-experience-with-becca-lory-hector
If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Isolation and loneliness are realities for parenting raising humans with neurodiversity. We’ve experienced both and know how difficult it can be through the many ages and stages of our kids’ lives.
In today’s episode, we talk all about isolation and loneliness and their impact on neurodiverse families. We go into the data behind it, share stories related to feelings of isolation in many different areas of our lives, and offer strategies for how we’ve coped over the years.
In this episode, you’ll learn...
[01:31] Some Rylan-isms and Graham-isms to start off the show
[05:02] The data on isolation and its impact on neurodiverse families
[08:52] Kristen’s experience of isolation in raising triplets 
[16:10] How Gwen’s isolation began during infertility
[19:30] What isolation looked like for us during our children’s early education years
[26:36] How we spent so many years trying to be “typical” families when we’re anything but
[31:14] The isolation we felt from our religious communities
[35:53] The difference between isolation and loneliness and how we’ve learned to cope and find support
[43:27] The Last Word from one of our kids and their thoughts on isolation
Get full show notes and the episode transcript:
https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-3-neurodiverse-families-and-the-many-faces-of-isolation
If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Therapy plays an important role in our neurodiverse children’s lives… But let’s be real: the act of constantly driving all over to drag our kids into dingy, uncomfortable waiting rooms multiple times a week is not fun. 
In this episode, Gwen and Kristen dive into this phenomenon: why parents of neurodiverse kids end up in this situation, how to make the process and experience a little more tolerable, and when it might be time to pull the plug on certain therapies (and escape the excruciating waiting room experience.) 
Plus, we’ve got our usual -isms, The Last Word from our kids, and Gwen even wrote a little ditty about the waiting room experience. This is one super relatable episode that you won’t want to miss.
In this episode, you’ll learn…
[00:00] Intro
[05:51] What those waiting rooms where we spent hours, days, and months in with ALL of our kids are actually like
[09:10] Gwen’s waiting room ditty
[14:49] The things (and people) that made waiting in those dingy little rooms more tolerable
[16:17] What it felt like to question the usefulness of therapy in those waiting rooms
[22:34] The benefits and limitations of talk therapy for our neurodivergent children
[28:04] Our key takeaways from this episode on the purgatory that is the therapy waiting room and how to make it just a little bit better
[30:05] The Last Word
Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-21-the-purgatory-of-the-therapy-waiting-room
If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Sports can be critically important to a child’s development and even their family’s place in the community. That’s why our kids, regardless of ability, deserve more than a church basement to hone those social connections and their skills as athletes!
In today’s episode, we’re interviewing Jen VanSkiver, Chief Officer of Strategic Growth for Special Olympics of Michigan and her daughter’s biggest advocate. You’ll learn how Jen has helped to facilitate the creation of a first-of-its-kind Unified Inclusion Center, how its stakeholders informed the building’s design, and why this project serves so much purpose for everyone, not just people with disabilities. Listen in now to hear how we’re changing the game of unified sports!
In this episode, you’ll learn…
[11:42] What led to Jen’s work at Special Olympics
[22:07] What the Unified Inclusion Center is and why it exists
[31:57] How stakeholders contributed to the design discussions
[42:55] The Last Word
Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-20-inclusion-over-ego-how-the-special-olympics-organization-embraced-universal-design-with-jen
If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/