You Say You Want a Village … But do you?

Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. 

People often think they need to make enormous shifts to find community; they need to move to a tiny village on the other side of the world or into a compound in the woods. But that’s not true. Here’s what you actually need: subtle shifts and a willingness to be uncomfortable. 

So many people talk about how they want a village, and yet, I see them rejecting the small changes they need to make to let their villages in. They won’t accept help – a ride to the airport, a babysitter, a pre-cooked meal – because they don’t want to put a person out or let go of control.

I can offer to pick up your groceries or watch your children over and over again. I am choosing that; I want to be in community with you. But at the end of the day, you have to want that, too. We need to co-create this relationship and support system together. 

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Community, which is cited as the answer for societal issues like childcare/elder care shortages, mental health issues, etc. – but rarely is there advice on how to find it
• The idea of “hiring” a village – a message families often hear – for grocery pick-ups, babysitting, Uber rides, etc.
• Rejecting help when you need it because you feel like you can’t accept unpaid help or are unwilling to let go of control
• The level of internal required to step off the hamster wheel and be willing to feel discomfort in either asking for help or offering it

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 8 with my friend Adrienne about building a friendship community for her family.

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