278 How to Heal and Find Hope After an Incarcerated Child’s Trauma

Episode Summary: 

In this episode, I chatted with Shonda Whitworth, who shared about her wounds, her pain, and now her sacred scars after walking through a most devastating experience when her son was incarcerated. What the enemy tried to use to quiet and shut Shonda down, God has now used to bring her into a greater aspect of her calling. 

Quotables from the episode:

• When they said “Your son has been arrested for aggravated assault,” I went numb and didn’t know how to respond because the person they were describing on my phone was not the son I knew.
• I grabbed hold of Romans 8:28. At the time, that verse just felt overused to me, like a Bible verse Band-Aid. But I held my Bible and declared that this was God’s Word, and asked Him to make it real for me.
• This was one of the last things I ever expected to happen. I raised him in the way he should go, taught him the word, took him to Sunday School, and taught him about God. I didn’t expect him to depart from his upbringing and it just devastated me.
• I was hopeful things would turn around, but that’s not what happened. I was looking for a miracle ending.
• We take either the fight or flight response, and I took the flight response. I just wanted to hide in my cave. I didn’t want to be seen in social situations and wanted to hide from conversation about our children.
• The depression and anxiety were overwhelming. It knocked me down. I went dark for a while and retreated for a season.
• The enemy brings shame, guilt, regret, and fear.
• I felt like I was wearing a big “F” for mother of a felon. The depression and anxiety came from listening to all the lies about myself. I was operating with a double-mind.
• In prison, my son began experiencing freedom that doesn’t depend on a location. Scripture says, “where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” He began operating in freedom as he started growing in his relationship with the Lord.
• I thought, “Isn’t this ironic? Here I am living in the free world, but all these bars of fear, guilt, shame, condemnation were keeping me captive in my own home. But my son who is in prison is experiencing freedom!”
• The amazing thing is that when I did share about what I was experiencing, I got nothing but compassion, the opposite of what the enemy convinced me I would experience.
• It gets better as healing comes in layers.
• One thing that was so helpful in my journey was having a reason to get up every day.
• The more I share my story, the more I put myself out there, the more healing comes; the more I have courage, and the more my confidence builds.
• When we experience shame, we want to stay in the dark where no one can see us because with shame comes embarrassment. We fear “if others find out, what will they say? Will they reject me? Will they abandon me? Will they gossip about me?”
• But when we take what’s in the dark and bring it out into God’s healing light, rarely is it as bad as we think it’s going to be and it brings healing.
• My husband and I started a ministry to other families with family members incarcerated. By me opening up and sharing our story, it’s helping other people find hope, to find healing, and to encourage them not to give up on this side of eternity. 
• Every life is valuable, and we can see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Even those who are in prison, their life is invaluable. Everyone has a purpose whether it’s inside prison walls or outside prison walls.
• The more I tell my story, the more it silences that accusing voice that comes against us from the enemy. When we open our mouths and testify what Jesus has done for us, the more it silences the enemy who accuses us.
• Jesus came to set the captives free and that includes you.
• Never give up. Always pray a