Body By Design Anita Kaumpek

Welcome! Your journey starts here.

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The practical part of this lesson involve 2 exercises: 


Notice how your ego tells you stories that are unkind and untruthful. Become deeply aware of your internal dialogue. How often are you unkind to yourself? Start to notice and challenge the thoughts you have with love, and recognise these thoughts are coming from your younger self. It is very important to practice awareness with love. There is a little girl within you who is trying to keep you safe; be kind to her.

Practice observing the patterns you created to keep you safe when you were a little girl. Are the things you say to yourself really true? Ask yourself: is this a fact or actually, is it fiction? Where is the evidence for the things you have been telling yourself and is it time to talk to yourself differently? Whenever I notice my ego come up and I feel fear, I take myself off somewhere quiet, put my hand on my heart and say “It’s OK Anita, you are safe and you are doing great. Thank you for looking after me but I have got this. I will show you a different way, a gentle and loving way – we can do it together.”

See if this lands for you and if it does, use it as often as you possibly can.



2) We need to remove the wall that surrounds. You are going to look at each brick then own your thoughts and feelings that imbue that brick with such addictive force and then place it in the hands of the universe. By recognising what constitutes the wall around you, you will begin the process of dismantling it. Look at each brick, what I mentioned in the beginning of this lesson, and for each word write down in your journal what is true for you. Do not rush through this process.

Here are just a FEW examples:

Shame: I'm ashamed of blank. Perhaps you acted foolishly, and cringe to think about what other people might still remember. 

Anger: I am angry at blank. Perhaps you feel unfairly treated, that have not released all your anger at the meanness of others. Or perhaps you've not forgiven yourself for self sabotaging behaviour in the past that affects your life now.

Fear, I am afraid of blank. Perhaps you carry a secret fear of loss of tragedy and have not yet learned to release it. 

Forgiveness: I still haven't forgiven blank for blank. Perhaps there was someone who betrayed your heart and you have not been able to forgive him or her yet. 

Judgement; I judge blank for blank. Perhaps you think that others are behaving in ways that they shouldn't and you think or speak of them in negative terms. 

Exhaustion: I feel exhausted because blank. Perhaps you feel physically, mentally and emotionally so tired, that you can hardly stand to awaken some days. 

Stress: I am stressed by blank. Perhaps the bills you owe the response. Carry the needs of your family, the demands of work and so forth are a constant source of stress. 

Injustice: it isn't fair that I blank. Perhaps you were overlooked or dismissed or thrown under the bus or not treated fairly.

Protection: I feel I need protection from blank. Perhaps you feel there's a person or a condition that is a threat to your well being that frightens you.

Selfishness. I am selfish when blank. Perhaps you grab for what you want in life without thinking of the needs of others. 

Jealousy: I get jealous when blank. Perhaps you tear down others when you fear their success.

Dishonesty: I don't feel that I can be honest about blank. Perhaps you carry a secret. Something you don't feel you can safely tell anyone. Perhaps it's a guilty secret or something that you simply fear others would judge you for.

Add your own words to the list, explore each brick that could be keeping you stuck in your own stories and explore whether they really are true or not.

Place each brick in the hands of the universe by simply saying "I hand it over to you dear Universe, I place this brick in your hand for I no longer need it or want it.".... or say whatever feels right to you but make the intention clear that you a

Reflection:If you're angry at someone then it's hard to just say I love you; I love you and that its all forgiven. Sometimes you have to express your upset with that person before you can forgive him or her. How can you come to love not thin you when somewhere in your heart you probably hate her? 

So there's no point pretending that it's easy to love not thin you given how much pain, shame, fatigue and self hatred she's caused you. You might intellectually understand that she's a manifestation of your thoughts, but that of itself doesn't make her go away. What you're going to do now is initiate a dialogue with not thin you based on honesty and transparency. A part of you has dissociated from another part of you, that dissociation has led to a profound dysfunction as one part of you has acted against the interests of the other. It's time to integrate the different parts of yourself in order to end the battle that's been raging within you. It's time to write a couple of letters. It's time for peace talks. 



After you have asked divine mind/God/Universe/Spirit to guide your process, settle into a relaxed space. Now with your inner eye, see not thin you standing before you - begin a dialogue with her. Open your heart and allow a process of communication between these two aspects of yourself to unfold. Your work here is to share your truth, to tell not thin you how you really feel, how you feel she's ruined your happiness, how much you hate her even. Include the "I HATE YOU GET OUT OF MY LIFE" type of things. 



Write a letter to her. This letter is for no one's eyes but yours alone but it is an important thing for you to write. You are not writing these things in order to attack not thin you, but simply to communicate with her: to begin a dialogue that allows you to surrender thoughts that are already there, but that if unexplored, will manifest as toxins in your system. Although the point is not to hate not thin you you cannot get to love without first acknowledging what stands before it. 



Once you have told your truth to not thin you and allow her to respond. Here you will learn some very important truths. She does not stand before you craving food, she stands before you craving love. As with the writing you did regarding the bricks on the wall, never rush through this process, nor leave anything out. Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 



Having completed both letters, allow thin you to write back. Allow her to tell you what she wants to say. Your subconscious mind is delivering the messages you need to hear and the images you need to see. Listen deeply and write down what you feel is her truth. It's there. 



Example: 



Dear skinny, 

​​​​​Hold on, skinny superhero. Cut me some slack. I'm working my way there. I've found that yoga studio and there's a stash of avocados in the fridge. The sun's shining today and there's stuff that needs doing. I'm envisioning doing a hundred sit-ups with ease and rocking that tank top with flowers on it. I'm on it, alright? Geez, you can be a real pain in the butt sometimes. But thanks for always being there, in spirit – not just measuring my thigh circumference. 

This cellulite, well, it's kinda my forcefield. It's my hidden shield, my way of keeping safe. A bigger butt means less chance of getting hurt. Not being able to slip into a gorgeous dress and own the dance floor means there's no opportunity for some jerk to come along and stir up another storm – another volcanic eruption of chaos. Being alone in bed with my awesome dog Laila and a big pizza loaded with sausage and cheese equals comfort and safety. Being beautiful and sexy? That's just an invitation for pain.



Signed, your not-so-skinny self.



​​Do not underestimate the power of writing these letters. Building this relationship between thin you and not thin you is the beginning of your reconciliation with a part of yourself that belongs inside, not outside your castl

Exercise 1 - Explore the beliefs that are no longer serving you


I am unworthy
I am unloveable
The world is not a safe place
People are not trustworthy
I am undeserving
I am incapable
I am misunderstood
I am always abandoned
I am a victim
I am a burden
I am not clever
I am bad
I am always guilty
I am powerless
I am unattractive
I am separated from God
I am sinful
I am a failure

Sit down with your journal and spend some time thinking about what beliefs you carry and which ones hold you back. When we strip it right back, we tend to have one core limiting belief that we then create lots of sub-beliefs from. Once you find your core limiting belief, you will be able to identify how it shows up on a daily basis. It will influence your relationships, behaviour, career, how you parent, your finances, everything in your life.It can take time to uncover all your beliefs and sometimes it might be a good idea to get help from a coach. That said, it might be very obvious to you when you begin to think about it. Start to ask yourself questions about where the same pattern keeps playing out in your life and why. Take a look at these examples of core limiting beliefs. Several may resonate, but is there one core belief you can identify?

Once you have identified your core belief and sub-beliefs, journal about where it has held you back in your life and what you are ready to believe instead. These limiting beliefs are not true. They are simply the result of a meaning you made out of a childhood experience, and they have been influencing your life for far too long. It is time to let them go and rewrite your story.What do you want life to look like instead?

Write out your new beliefs in your journal and reflect on what new patterns you would like to create.



Exercise 2 - Letter to the little girl version of you

The second exercise in this section is to write a letter to your younger self. This is a very powerful exercise, so be gentle and compassionate with yourself. When you feel ready, write a letter to the little girl version of you. Maybe she is 6, maybe she is younger or older – you will feel called to the age that is right for you. Take time to tell her about all the things you would like her to know that she didn’t realise then: her innocence, her ca- pability, how special she is, how pure her heart is. Tell her everything a little girl should know about herself. Share with her your wisdom from this future version of yourself. Take your time with this exercise; it is very important not to rush it. Imagine you are sitting with her and you have the opportunity to tell her everything that you would if you were parenting her.When you think of yourself as that innocent and won- derful little girl, how could you ever think you are not enough? How could you ever be horrible to yourself? She is you. She needs your love.


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What if you simply created a new identity for yourself every day?

Approach each morning with the excitement and newness of a blank sheet of paper and ask:

Who do I get to be today?

What adventures lie ahead of me today?

How can I be of service to the greater good today? How can I honour my needs today?



Practice setting boundaries.

Spend time thinking about the following questions and explore where you can start to make shifts towards changing behaviour that is not serving your joy:


Where are you bleeding energy in places that don’t feel good?
When do you say yes, but really want to say no?
Do you have expectations in your relationships that you have not communicated? How can you communicate your needs from a place of love?
Where can you ask for help?



Elicit Your Values

Step one: Read through the words below and see which ones you connect with the most.



Abundance - Achievement - Acceptance - Authenticity - Balance Wellbeing - Contentment - Care for Others - Humour - Honesty Order - Dependability - Quality - Courage - Kindness - Effectiveness - Creativity - Knowledge - Diversity - Empathy - Loyalty - Fun - Excellence - Openness - Innovation - Fairness Passion - Fitness - Faith - Perseverance - Gratitude - Family - Respect for Others - Simplicity - Freedom - Responsibility - Peace Friendship - Security - Self-Respect - Generosity - Serenity - Success - Growth - Service to Others - Wisdom - Independence Spirituality - Discipline - Cooperation - Love - Equality - Stability Winning - Teamwork - Self-control - Joy



Step two: Identify 10 values, either from the list or other words you consider incredibly important that are not on this list.

Step three: Identify your top five values out of these 10 – which ones are absolutely the most important to you in life?

Step four: Answer the following questions about each of your top five values:


Where do I have alignment to this value in my life?
When do I not have alignment to this value in my life?
What do I need to do to create a life more aligned to this value?






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We are going to start to uncover some of the long-held beliefs and stories you have been carrying around with you for years – it is time to take them out of the heavy backpack you carry around with you and lighten the load. Take some time to journal answers to the following questions to become aware of the beliefs you carry and how they drive your actions:



What were you taught about food as a child?

What was your relationship with food as a child?

Was there plenty of food?

What messaging did you receive around your body as a child?

What was your Mum’s relationship with food and her body like?

How did your Mum talk about her body in front of you?

How did your family talk about your body to you?

What are your triggers when it comes to eating?

Do you recognise any emotions that trigger you to eat?

What has dieting taught you about food?

How would you describe your relationship with your body?


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