Growing Nimble Families

Melitsa Avila
Growing Nimble Families Podcast

Raising school age kids. We are celebrating the energy of Middle Childhood ( or Midhood) development and discussing parenting challenges of school age children ( Ages 5-14)

  1. 19/10/2018

    7 ways to support your child at school move towards independence

    Tools and ideas about moving from guided homework to independent homework with school-age kids. Homework demands change. As kids get older, there are new skills to master with homework. Examples like time management on a project, using software and overcoming problems during the process of work. If our kids dine out on their natural talent only, eventually they will hit some hard walls as work becomes more difficult and be stuck. They need to get used to effort, hard work and learning how to get up when they hit hard obstacles. Right around the time that many of our kids are making mistakes, learning and growing coincide with when they don’t want parental help. They are uncomfortable with the skill of asking for help. The pressure is there. Coasting and homework Lots of kids are coasting without experiencing the stretch of learning through challenge and moving from adequate to good and good to excellent. Like all family related activities, this is deeply personal to each of our families. Each child is different. But we want the same thing- to know our kids have the skills so we can relax, nag less and they can fly. The skills mentioned in today’s episode help support us now where we are. Whatever our kid’s ability we want them to succeed, be confident, have tools to support them when they encounter problems. We go deep today. It’s not a blueprint. I’m looking forward to your thoughts as you tackle empowering our kids’ homework muscle from guided homework to independent homework.   Growing Nimble Families podcast encourages the celebration of school age kids traveling through middle childhood Show Notes Seven ways to support your child at school move towards independence * When silence isn’t golden, productive or helpful. Finding the right place for homework isn’t fixed and may not be what you are expecting. * Sharing the thought process that takes you seconds because you have wisdom and experience. Why it will be a big win to share what to do during this problem-solving exercise. * Getting down into the different types of homework. It’s all about the model. Give it time. Just because you have four pieces of homework doesn’t mean you start from 1 and then 2. The way to make homework easier. resource: project working  4. Helping School-Age Kids Correct Their Work  Grab our printable 5. How we respond when they don’t complete  6.  6 Questions To Ask Your School-Age Child After Homework  Grab our printable 7. After the feedback resource: Self-reflection resource:      * WHAT TO DO NEXT: So you’ve listened to this episode – if you liked it and want to hear other ones – and I really think you will….you should do this right now:         How to listen and subscribe to this show I’d love to hear from you about the show. Any comments about the podcast use the Voicemail and connect on Facebook Use the hashtag #gnfsak on  Twitter  and  Instagram These show notes: a href="https://growingnimblefamilies.

    44 min
  2. 31/08/2018

    3 Ways To Make Sure Your Back To School Season Is Not Crazy

    How about a different run-up to the start of back to school time? With a little planning and a little sharing, there’s a better way to have a successful back to school season. As the school age kids are getting older, there’s a possibility that they can share in the back to school systems and get started on learning to make some school decisions. As gatekeepers, often we know where to buy all the things, what to do first and how to organize the lists around the start of school and how to manage the school year. It makes us really busy( stressed!), and many times the kids are not grateful or understanding of our careful choices or suggestions. Back to school systems for school age kids This episode we focus on sharing our family values, teaching some of our school systems to our kids, so they have some autonomy and letting them wrestle with some low stakes decision making. It might be easier and quicker if we do everything ourselves but in the long run, it’s not okay to keep a tight reign on everything always. Come with me on a journey as I share three ways we can give back to the family, so there’s less crazy and more understanding during the back to school season. As we show them how to manage significant transition times- like a boss! ( because they are not going to experience things like this…….soon?) The big bonus is that it spills into the school year and sets us all up for much more collaboration, understanding and less burden of being the keeper of the mental load. Growing Nimble Families podcast encourages the celebration of school age kids traveling through middle childhood Show Notes When we control, every little detail kids will find ways to take back some control somehow. During the school-age years while we need to teach and direct we must find ways to share why we do what we do, give ample opportunity and space to talk through and allow the chips to fall on the simple things when the stakes are low and real learning can happen. After years of being solely in control for many times, the school-age years seems trying and tiring as the kids push against the rules and want to know why? It is really hard as parents to let go of doing it- whatever ‘it’ may be- just one way when you know it to be true or better. Risk taking seems all the harder when they are at school, but they need to know we’re there for them to guide, mentor, share and tell, when necessary. Kids learn by doing. We can be there while they are doing something, like back to school so that next time they can try and do for themselves. They have the new knowledge they need the practice and to sharpen those skills. Not all kids are the same, and you know your family. I hope that while you listen, you’ll keep your family in mind and perhaps find somewhere to start. Resources mentioned in the episode: Video: The Holderness Family   Healthy school lunch Other places for inspiration Awesome emotionally healthy kids Your guide to mastering whole family systems during the school age years * WHAT TO DO NEXT: So you’ve listened to this episode – if you liked it and want to hear other ones – and I really think you will….you should do this right now: a href="https://www.itunes.com/podcast?

    33 min
  3. 19/05/2018

    Rethinking learning, motivation and grades for kids that are 11+

    Middle and secondary school kids have a lot of new things to handle. We’ve talked about managing projects and how to study in previous episodes. Today we’re talking with Jessica Lahey, author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. We’re talking about some of the big questions to do with motivation, learning and grades that appear in middle school including portals and letting them ask for help. Middle and Secondary school is a big step for us as parents as we learn to let go carefully, thoughtfully and in due time. This is a good episode for new incoming parents and parents wanting to change their current situation. Growing Nimble Families podcast encourages the celebration of school age kids traveling through middle childhood Show Notes Jessica talks about Middle school and Secondary school students: * What led you to write a book like this? * If you have a child that’s not motivated in school should you pay them for better results? Resource: The opposite of spoiled by Ron Lieber * How do you show recognition as a parent if your child does really well? ( Honors, A grades, full marks) * What is Process over product? * Good questions to ask about good work? * What a good student/parent-teacher conference looks like. * What’s the deal should I pay for grades or should I not? * What parents really need to know that our kids don’t tell us * What is Autonomy supportive parenting? * What are two things that we can confidently stop doing ( and it will be much better!) Jessica on Twitter     Jessica on Instagram WHAT TO DO NEXT: So you’ve listened to this episode – if you liked it and want to hear other ones – and I really think you will….you should do this right now:         How to listen and subscribe to this show I’d love to hear from you about the show. Any comments about the podcast use the Voicemail Use the hashtag #gnfsak If you’ve enjoyed the show please take the time to share it with friends and leave a review for it on iTunes or Stitcher.

    38 min
  4. 13/03/2018

    How do you help support and gently direct your child in choosing a career path

    Jobs are disappearing and lots of new types of jobs appear all the time. The path towards school age kids future career and job ideas doesn’t have to be random. With the student ratio of students to career counselor in many schools being 491:1 it is really important that parents are involved in supporting the whole process. Our guest today is Jamie Beck, M.S, speaker and former CSU Career Counselor. She’s the founder of Career vision by jamie.com  where she is reshaping the way job seekers fundamentally conceptualize, search, and apply for work. She’s bringing information for parents of all the ages of school age children that help us be involved but the kids doing the learning. Lots of the ideas Jaime shares apply throughout the school age. You don’t have to be a middle or high school parent for this episode. Growing Nimble Families podcast encourages the celebration of school age kids traveling through middle childhood Show Notes Jamie talks about Tips and ideas for elementary, middle and high school parents on supporting their children as we’re the best careers support for them. What’s your career bank like? What to do if your child gets stuck on ONE idea that’s not practical? What’s one thing parents can do to understand future job/career prospects? An alternative way of looking at future career ideas that don’t keep us fixed or stuck with one idea. Helping kids see the reality of careers Practical things to do if the kids have NO idea about career ideas. How to get them going. The significance of the number; 32, 850  and our children When your child wants to do an irregular income career you’re not happy about….how to navigate this path as a parent and child. Resources: Pi day activities * Find more than 50 ideas for ways to make Pi Day entertaining, educational, tasty, and fun.  * 14 Mathtastic Pi Day Activities for the Classroom * π Day March 14, 2018 Brain Sort Question from the podcast:  What is it that you ( the parent) love that you would do for free 40 hours a week? ( Ends: March 24 9pm Eastern) WHAT TO DO NEXT: So you’ve listened to this episode – if you liked it and want to hear other ones – and I really think you will….you should do this right now:         How to listen and subscribe to this show I’d love to hear from you about the show. Any comments about the podcast use the Voicemail Use the hashtag #gnfsak If you’ve enjoyed the show please take the time to share it with friends and leave a review for it on iTunes or Stitcher.

    46 min
  5. 19/02/2018

    Getting on with the changing school age kid without losing your mind

    Anyone else experiencing a new normal with the kids? Things are different. There’s more of things happening that didn’t use to happen like arguments or talking back. You know it’s part of growing up but this doesn’t seem like the kids you know. Where has my child gone? This episode is all about how to be comfortable in this transition. Honor who they were, are and going to be and without losing your mind. Encouragement to establish new baselines and figure a way for more autonomy to happen.   Growing Nimble Families podcast encourages the celebration of school age kids traveling through middle childhood Show Notes 00:00 Introduction +Transitioning rites of passage for parents Where has my child gone? 6:25 Prompts to remind us of the passing of time 9:36 Affirming our children 12:10 Unconditional love and how they see love vs what we show them 12:55 Keep talking activities suitable for school age kids 14:50 We need rites of passage reminders because there are things we want to pass on to them 18:56 When we’re present we can share how to recover and be resilient Resources: After the encouragement comes action. Rituals to help us as parents move from little kid to bigger kid to teen. Here’s what you can do colour edition || Black and White edition WHAT TO DO NEXT: So you’ve listened to this episode – if you liked it and want to hear other ones – and I really think you will….you should do this right now:         How to listen and subscribe to this show I’d love to hear from you about the show. Any comments about the podcast use the Voicemail Use the hashtag #creatingfamilyhaven If you’ve enjoyed the show please take the time to share it with friends and leave a review for it on iTunes or Stitcher. **Pin and Share**

    25 min
  6. 12/01/2018

    Awesome Emotionally Healthy Kids

    As school age kids mature they bump up against a few truths. They are not perfect or the best. There are others who are better. They have to work harder at some things than others and it doesn’t seem fair that others find it easier. Feelings are hurt. They question themselves. They wonder, ‘I used to be good- great- amazing. What happened?’ “I can’t do this? I’m embarrassed to ask?’ ‘What do you mean I missed the deadline? It’s not that late. No one told me it was important! It’s not my fault! ‘ ‘ That was humiliating! They were way better than me. I thought I was good? I’m not going again.’ ‘ I’m not doing it. I don’t want to. I don’t care.’ But if families want to raise emotionally healthy kids there needs to be a careful navigation of the messages, support, guidelines kids receive so they feel confident and ready to move through the teen years and into young adulthood. This episode we talk about the messages kids get in the first 10 years of their life that give them freedom, warmth, nurture, unconditional love and if this is all they receive they might just become entitled teens and adults with unrealistic expectations with negative self-talk or lack motivation. However, there are an awesome set of second messages that kids really need to know that give them wings to fly, confidence to get up again, the courage to thrive and seek out solutions. I’m excited about sharing this episode as it’s a mindset shift and super easy to do. This growing up thing is tricky to navigate for parents and kids. Let’s do this together! Growing Nimble Families podcast encourages the celebration of school age kids traveling through middle childhood Show Notes 00:00 Introduction to raising emotionally healthy kids 03:55 Beginning to see things differently 05:29 See things from their perspective 06:34 Transition from this seems easy to some. Some of this is really hard and I can’t do it! What do I do? 07:11 Dr Tim Elmore childhood and adolescent messages 12:42  Making those decisions isn’t as easy they think 15:37 Talking about thinking ahead and putting off instant gratification 16:53  The special lessons that they learn through these second messages including how to help. 23:10 Practical ways to put the second messages into action Resources for Awesome Emotionally Healthy Kids: Contributions Where do I start teaching our laundry system to the kids? 4 words that will change your contributions and chores forever Contributions are better than Chores Redistribution of contributions Three things we don’t rotate in our parenting but maybe we should Why the chores in your family are not working and some solutions Grit TED talks for parents – Grit When they make mistakes and fail-practical ways to help parents and children learn how to navigate this undertalked about topic during childhood a href="https://growingnimblefamilies.

    35 min
  7. 28/10/2017

    Rituals for Parents

    This episode we are looking for the good in the stage we are in. We love to look back and remember fondly especially when times are tough in our current stage. If you’ve ever been stuck looking back and worrying about the future this is the episode for you to see how to move positively forward with your school age kid. Rituals help us move along and enjoy the stage we are at. Being positive with the things we are doing and going to be doing helps us see our kids struggles and keeps us on track. We get them ready and we get ourselves ready for it.  Rituals help us with the transitions as parents move from little kid to bigger kid to teen. Growing Nimble Families podcast encourages the celebration of school age kids traveling through middle childhood Show Notes 00:00 Introduction 03:58  Positive ways of separating from our child and attaching in more mature ways 19:50 New framework for seeing their kid, child, tween, teen and young adult Resources: 7 habits of Highly Effective Teens positive way to talk about the future, planning, goal setting. Straight talk for kids  Peer to peer conversations for the kids on motivation, involvement, frustrations, how to get better results with your parents, homework and relationships like positive ways to deal with brother/sisters. It’s another voice that says the same types of things you’ve likely been saying. Pass It On: Building a Legacy of Faith for Your Children through Practical and Memorable Experiences Each grade level is covered with a special experience and passing of time activity. It’s a chance to celebrate positively the passing of time that honours the journey of childhood for the kids and us. Painless study techniques short chapters and good for elementary and lower middle/secondary children especially if you can read it together.  The organized student Reading this book before your child transitions to that new school is a good reminder of different ways to organize sheets, work, homework, binders, backpacks and lockers for school. Not all the ideas work for your child but when they have struggles you’ve got some new ideas to try. This is great especially when your child has different organizational strategies than you! WHAT TO DO NEXT: So you’ve listened to this episode – if you liked it and want to hear other ones – and I really think you will….you should do this right now:         How to listen and subscribe to this show I’d love to hear from you about the show. Any comments about the podcast use the Voicemail Use the hashtag #creatingfamilyhaven If you’ve enjoyed the show please take the time to share it with friends and leave a review for it on iTunes or Stitcher.   **Pin and Share**

    32 min

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Raising school age kids. We are celebrating the energy of Middle Childhood ( or Midhood) development and discussing parenting challenges of school age children ( Ages 5-14)

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