Best Sketches of 2021 — Cash For Comment

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Dan Ilic is still on holidays so he asked his good friend Alan Jones (who was surprisingly available) to host the end of year wrap of all of our sponsors.

It's been an extraordinary year for A Rational Fear.

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Bertha Announcement  0:00  
This podcast is supported in part by the birth of foundation. This episode of irrational fears

Dan Ilic  0:05  
recorded on the land of the direwolf people sovereignty was never said When did a treaty let's stop the show. A rational

Unknown Speaker  0:11  
fear contains naughty words like bricks, Canberra fan COMM And section 40 of our rational view recommended listening by immature audience.

Alan Jones  0:24  
Good morning, everyone. I'm Alan Jones debt, Ilitch has invited me to host the interview show for a rational fear as my own show. Keulen was too popular and crashed the internet after three minutes of streaming. Oh god, you know who else crashed after three minutes of my streaming July on Gilad? Now this show is dedicated to the most important people in the country, the sponsors of a rational theme, we will celebrate them all in this very special episode, the highs, the lows and be in between. This is genuinely cash for comments. Let's kick it off with a message from my very dear friend and close personal tuber Peter Dutton.

Peter Dutton  1:06  
Oh, Peter Dutton here wishing you and your family Christmas and reminding you that just like Santa Claus, I'm keeping a list of who is naughty and nice. Previously, if you were an Australian citizen, and you made a joke about a minister, for instance, a minor dog looking like a potato, there was no way he could legally tap your phone or jingle your bell. But as of today, ASIO can be my own personal health on a shelf, and I can spy on anyone I want foreign, more Australian, more Australian it looks a bit foreign or worse, the leader of the greens. So if you're gonna buy certain jokes about certain ministers, remember, potatoes have eyes and they could see when you are sleeping, and they know when you're awake. Just consider yourself lucky that Santa Claus isn't coming by boat. Whoa, whoa, whoa, authorized unopposed by Peter Dutton, Canberra.

Alan Jones  2:06  
Thank you, Peter. What a warm kind of Dare I say jolly man. Next up is another jolly fellow, the President of the United States of America's alternative reality. Donald Trump. Here he is writing a letter to fake incoming President Joe Biden way back in January 26.

Donald Trump  2:26  
Dear Joe, as you are senile, I will write this letter slowly. As I leave the White House with my wife and her lookalikes. I reflect on my time here as a career highlight of their with when I play the successful hotel owner in home alone to last in New York, even though you had the highest amount of votes in US history. I had the second highest and second is better than first. Justice two is higher than one. That's just a fact looking. So with that in mind, congratulations on pulling off a hoax election and undermining the country. I das by red cap your way and have chosen to write this letter in my finest crayons. You have ruined democracy in ways I could only dream and I usually only dream of the hamburger. But as a chick with big Tata. It has been an honor being the president of a country that would allow me to be president. Sincerely, Donald J. Trump. PS follow me on parler PPS, actually don't follow me on.

Alan Jones  3:32  
Good on your Donald from the President of the USA to the president of Australia. Rhythm Murdoch was awarded a lifetime achievement award back in January for how many lives he's managed to suck the blood out of to stay alive himself. Ah, well, Dad Rupert,

Rupert Murdoch  3:48  
good evening paying subscriber Rupert Murdoch here saying thanks for my lifetime achievement Award. It fills me with enthusiasm for my final days of planetary destruction until I die. Well, let me tell you I'm far from done. I've ruined democracies in the UK, USA and Australia. But they're still pansy little democratic countries around the world that have yet to be torn apart by my lieutenants. Defense us little New Zealand, I'm looking at you. There's a real movement to silence conservatism, which is why my 1000s of publications, TV networks and radio stations are home to them. And let's not forget MySpace, the future of the Internet. Once Facebook and Google are taxed into submission, you'll need an account. You can even put me on your top five friends if you'd like to young people, I say do what I do. Try to destroy everything before you die leaving behind a hash of a planet that looks just like my heart. Oh, and by The Daily Telegraph all the Herald Sun confidential this week is particularly sexy believe

Alan Jones  5:01  
Rupert Murdoch will be back in just a moment to explain why the federal government is forcing big tech players like Google and Facebook to pay media proprietors for their content. And why wouldn't be listening to me talk about how many immigrants shouldn't be allowed into the country, his premium stuff. But before that, here is a message from Bill Gates on why you should take a dump on

Bill Gates  5:20  
Google. Hello, I'm Bill Gates, former Microsoft founder and CEO now full time Boomer with too many resources at hand. And when I'm not planning to vaccinate the world with the latest antivirus, I'm using Bing Bing almost works as great as Google. That's why over 6% of the world trust Bing to find what they're looking for. Say you want to find the best coffee shop near you. All you have to do is go to www.bing.com and type in Spanish Civil War, and the best coffee shops will appear on your screen. And say you want to read all the latest news on your phone. Just download the Bing app and hit the latest news tab. And you can binge all the latest news on the cost of Concordia Shipra departure of Google from Australia my old friends at Microsoft are ready to make being relevant to Australia as Australia is relevant to the world. I wonder this has nothing to do with the rumors of me trying to inject you with 5g nanobots just try to search for it I'm hoping it doesn't exist. bearing

Alan Jones  6:40  
good on your bill is February rolls around so does all things budgets and to celebrate here is something very very special and strange.

Unknown Speaker  6:50  
Frydenberg industries and audible presents economic measures as you've never heard them before mother mind my money my mother from his hermetically sealed home studio in the southern highlands. Robbie McGregor Australia's most well known sexiest voice. Okay, already says the woods stimulus package for three sexy hours.

Robbie McGreggor  7:18  
stimulus package, stimulus package, stimulus package, stimulus package, stimulus package, stimulus package

Unknown Speaker  7:30  
ride the wave of fiscal foreplay,

Robbie McGreggor  7:34  
stimulus package, stimulus package or stimulus package, stimulus package

Unknown Speaker  7:42  
anomic era eroticism package ride the down Jones bull all the way until his bubble bursts stimulus package stupid.

Unknown Speaker  8:12  
Frydenberg stimulus package is guaranteed to get everyone excited except for freelancers, migrants and casual workers. If you use the offer code hashtag fuck freelancers, get a 20 minute bonus of Robin McGregor saying the words quantitative easing,

Robbie McGreggor  8:26  
q