Tiny Pictures

Frankensound

Micro audio stories for thoughtful ears.

  1. Jesus Vibration

    26/04/2020

    Jesus Vibration

    The vibration began in Jesus' pocket It wouldn't normally be a problem but Jesus was in the middle of a live stream with his iPhone connected to his AirPods Unfortunately, there was a bug in the software which sent the vibrating and buzzing over the top of his audible address to millions of his fans and followers Meanwhile, Kanye had joined the room and was also live on the voice channel along with Taylor Swift, who was already there She's always been a big fan of Jesus The buzzing didn't stop Indeed, it only got louder across the airwaves awakening in Kanye a certain sense of artistic absurdism He began to repeat the phrase 'doo doo dum dum?' The pitch went up at the end like that apparently signifying a question He kept saying it, over and over while the buzzing continued 'doo doo dum dum?' Taylor started giggling and whispered a question to Jesus with imitation tears 'Jesus, what are you trying to say to us?' Jesus knew that this entire live stream was compromised He couldn't work out how to stop the buzzing which was still growing louder And Kanye continued, 'doo doo dum dum?' Jesus replied to Taylor with as much authority as he could manage aided by turning up the reverb on his console 'I don't know' The words echoed around the globe For some followers this was all too much and they tuned out Others waited to see what would happen next 'doo doo dum dum?' Thousands of trolls were now typing into the live chat window insensitive comments and hurtful remarks however true, difficult to read for the small number of true followers left But none of this had any effect on Jesus He had removed his headphones and was no longer listening, to anyone He's been missing ever since

    3 min
  2. Elon's First Principles

    20/04/2020

    Elon's First Principles

    Did you hear what Elon's up to? He wants to plug our brains directly into computers so we don't have to wait so long when we Google something He's also going to send some of us into space He's already launched a car up there It's still flying around the sun It has travelled further than any other car in the history of cars Elon, his name even sounds like a planet Did you hear what he did in South Australia when they had problems with their power infrastructure? He made them a big battery, the biggest ever. Did you hear what Elon said about Lidar? Lidar is like radar for self-driving cars But Elon worked out you don't even need it Because you can do it all with regular cameras Huh Did you see Elon on Joe Rogan when he smoked that joint? He didn't even get high I guess because he's already such a space man or maybe just because he bumsucked What about Elon's tunnel drilling company? It's called the 'Boring' company which some people might say is ironic But it's not really When Elon's Cybertruck got a broken window at the product launch It could've been a PR disaster Instead, a toy company made a remote control version With a cracked window decal and everyone had a laugh Also, you know that project you're working on Do you know what Elon would do? He'd strip it right back to first principles You might get a little frustrated because you thought you were almost there, almost finished But Elon would explain that you didn't think it through hard enough yet You didn't really break it down into first principles like he would In a strange way, Elon can see into the future But that's hardly surprising really because he's making the future Thanks Elon.

    3 min

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Micro audio stories for thoughtful ears.