300 episodes

In Sex With Dr. Jess, Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, Toronto-based sexologist, author, and media personality, shares tips on how to enhance your sexual life to improve the quality of your relationships. She interviews guests with questions ranging from how to deal with jealousy to getting down in the bedroom, as well as hosting thought-provoking episodes centered around compatibility and strengthening relationships.

Sex With Dr. Jess Dr. Jess O'Reilly

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.6 • 105 Ratings

In Sex With Dr. Jess, Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, Toronto-based sexologist, author, and media personality, shares tips on how to enhance your sexual life to improve the quality of your relationships. She interviews guests with questions ranging from how to deal with jealousy to getting down in the bedroom, as well as hosting thought-provoking episodes centered around compatibility and strengthening relationships.

    4 Types of Couples — Which One Are You?

    4 Types of Couples — Which One Are You?

    Do opposites attract?

    Are you really attracted to funny people or do you find attractive people funnier?

    And which type of dating couple are you?



    Researchers suggest that there are four types of dating couples and your type can influence whether the relationship lasts. Jess and Brandon explore these research topics in their last episode of 2023.



    Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping.







    And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!







    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Episode 344



    4 Types of Couples -- Which One Are You?



    [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.



    [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Alright, alright. Are we ready to talk about four types of couples?



    [00:00:17] Brandon Ware: I'm always ready to talk about four types of couples. Which four types of couples are we talking about?



    [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: Four types of couples. Which one are you? It reminds me of like a quiz. What type of onion are you?



    [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: I'm a white onion.



    [00:00:28] Jess O'Reilly: You are a white onion.



    [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: Because I can only name two types of onions.



    [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: What's the other one?



    [00:00:31] Brandon Ware: Red onions.



    [00:00:32] Jess O'Reilly: What about Vidalia?



    [00:00:33] Brandon Ware: I don't know what that is.



    [00:00:34] Jess O'Reilly: Green.



    [00:00:35] Brandon Ware: Sure. Green.



    [00:00:35] Jess O'Reilly: Yes. Spanish.



    [00:00:36] Brandon Ware: Okay. Listen, listen.



    [00:00:38] Jess O'Reilly: Shallot.



    [00:00:38] Brandon Ware: Onion connoisseur.



    [00:00:41] Jess O'Reilly: I like an onion. So we'll be talking about four types of couples and some research. But before we do that, I wanted to very briefly dive into some other research and data that I've come across this week.



    [00:00:51] Jess O'Reilly: And we have a little announcement at the end, I guess before we dive into it, I need to shout out adamandeve. com because they've got a big, big, big sale going on. And. You can save 50 percent off almost any single item plus free shipping and rush handling with code. Dr. Jess 50,



    [00:01:08] Brandon Ware: Dr. Jess 50.



    [00:01:09] Jess O'Reilly: Go buy something that vibrates something. Okay. Question for you.



    [00:01:12] Brandon Ware: Yes.



    [00:01:12] Jess O'Reilly: Are funny people more attractive to you?



    [00:01:15] Brandon Ware: Funny people are more attractive.



    [00:01:16] Jess O'Reilly: Like, are you attracted to funny people?



    [00:01:18] Brandon Ware: Yes.



    [00:01:19] Jess O'Reilly: Hang on. Am I funny?



    [00:01:19] Brandon Ware: Hold on. Yes. You're very funny, but what, but what else is like, what's the and



    [00:01:24] Jess O'Reilly: well, the question is, are you attracted to humor? Or do you find attractive people funnier?



    [00:01:29] Jess O'Reilly: Okay. I'm going to just say this. So I noticed that every little joke, like every little snide remark,

    • 25 min
    Sex, Gender & Intimacy: People Collide with Isle McElroy

    Sex, Gender & Intimacy: People Collide with Isle McElroy

    Isle McElroy joins Jess and Brandon to talk about intimacy, vulnerability and sex -- on paper and in the flesh. An award-winning non-binary author based in New York, McElroy's latest novel People Collide is a gender-bending, body-switching story exploring marriage, identity, and sex, which delves into questions about the nature of true partnership. Isle shares personal insights on what makes for a good sex scene, how inadequacy plays out in relationships and what they've learned from rethinking sex and pleasure.



    To learn more about Isle McElroy, check out their social media - Instagram and Twitter



    And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!







    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Episode 343



    Sex, Gender & Intimacy: People Collide with Isle McElroy



    [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.



    [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Hey, hey, today we're talking about sex, gender, and intimacy with Isle McElroy, an award winning non binary author based in New York, whose latest novel, People Collide, is a gender bending, body switching story about marriage, identity, and sex, which delves into questions about the nature of true partnership.



    [00:00:31] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, and this story isn't your traditional kind of body swap, you know, thinking Freaky Fridays. So the story is... Eli, when Eli, the main character, leaves the cramped Bulgarian apartment, he shares with his wife, Elizabeth, who's more organized, more successful than he is. He discovers that he now inhabits her body.



    [00:00:48] Jess O'Reilly: So not only have he and his wife traded bodies, but Elizabeth living as Eli, has disappeared without a trace, and what follows is Eli's search across Europe, to America, to find his missing wife, and an exploration of gender and embodied experience. As Eli comes closer to finding Elizabeth while learning to exist in her body, he begins to wonder what effect this metamorphosis will have on their relationship, and how long he can maintain the illusion of of living as someone he isn't.



    [00:01:17] Jess O'Reilly: And the questions, you know, are will their new marriage wither completely in each other's bodies, or is this transformation the very thing Eli and Elizabeth need for their marriage? to thrive. So I'm really looking forward to this conversation. I've been reading the book. I'm almost done. I thought I'd be done by today, but I have a lot of questions about some of the messaging and themes, and I think it's going to be a great conversation.



    [00:01:37] Jess O'Reilly: Now, before we welcome our guest, I'll want to announce a partnership with fellow podcasters Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women. The podcast, season two, is out now and it's hosted by Nana Darkwa Sakiyama and Malaika Grant. The podcast explores African women's experiences of sex, sexuality, [00:02:00] and pleasure and they have a host of fabulous guests in their bedroom this season.



    [00:02:05] Jess O'Reilly: They have top sexpert Ohlone from the UK, fabulous comedienne Yvonne Orji. Feminist powerhouse, Mona Altahawe, and many, many more. And they're asking all their guests, what's your sexy secret? What's your secret, babe?



    [00:02:19] Brandon Ware: I can't tell you. It's a secret. That's why it's a secret.

    • 38 min
    Managing Burnout In Relationships: Conservation of Resources Theory

    Managing Burnout In Relationships: Conservation of Resources Theory

    What are the signs of burnout, and how do they - show up in relationships?

    How might the Conservation of Resources theory apply to personal relationships?

    And how can we use the Conservation of Resource lens to manage burnout and improve relationships?



    Jess & Brandon discuss these topics and more while exploring specific strategies for dealing with burnout in - the context of personal relationships. Check out the transcript below, and be sure to click here to learn more about the upcoming Temptation Cruise departing from Miami in February 2024.







    And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!







    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Episode 342



    Managing Burnout In Relationships: Conservation of Resource Theory



    [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.



    [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Mr. Brandon Ware, how you feeling today?



    [00:00:17] Brandon Ware: I'm good. I'm good. I'm a little bit tired. I'm good.



    [00:00:19] Jess O'Reilly: A little bit worn out.



    [00:00:20] Brandon Ware: Just, just a touch.



    [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: This is what I'm hearing across the board.



    [00:00:23] Brandon Ware: Yeah. I hear it from a lot of people these days.



    [00:00:25] Jess O'Reilly: I didn't even prep you for it. I'm like, if I ask how you're doing, I know you're going to say you're a little worn out because it seems like everybody's feeling that way. You know, I'm hearing from friends who describe their state as frozen.



    [00:00:36] Brandon Ware: I haven't heard frozen before.



    [00:00:37] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah. Actually two different friends last week said that they feel frozen. Like they don't even feel like replying in our group texts. They don't even feel like talking about what's going on in the world because folks are feeling exhausted and sad. And I think there's a sense of. Hopelessness around some of the, the big issues and power and the way things are shifting and seeing how, you know, even economies are, are shifting so that it's making it harder for people to live.



    [00:01:05] Brandon Ware: I thought you were going to make reference to, so the feeling numbness, but also the inability to move, is that what you're saying? So it's kind of twofold.



    [00:01:12] Jess O'Reilly: Right. Cause we think about fight. Or flight, freeze is another response, fawn is another response, but we're not talking about that today. I want to talk about burnout.



    [00:01:21] Jess O'Reilly: So I think most folks have heard me talk about the bulk of my work is this marriage as a business program, where I take business models and adapt them to relationships for business leaders. And that's my favorite part of my job. It's super fun. And it's really interesting because it's not like every model can just be.



    [00:01:36] Jess O'Reilly: Shifted into another realm perfectly, but I think they can be adapted and no model is perfect. No theory is perfect, especially when you're looking at, you know, for example, organizational psychology. But I was thinking that it'd be interesting to apply this to burnout today because it seems to be the theme in all the private messages I'm reading and in my friend groups right now.

    • 47 min
    Eroticize Daily Interactions: 20 Actionable Tips For Busy Couple

    Eroticize Daily Interactions: 20 Actionable Tips For Busy Couple

    How do you keep things exciting amid a repetitive routine?

    How can adults be more playful (because playfulness is associated with happier relationships & hotter sex)?

    What simple changes can you implement to make your daily interactions more fun, passionate and erotic — even if you’re super busy?



    You’re not a light switch, so you likely can’t get turned on in the blink of an eye. This week, to celebrate our wedding anniversary, we share 20+ specific strategies and action items you can use to make your relationship more romantic, intimate and erotic.



    If you’re looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney, We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS15 at checkout to save!



    Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.



    Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping.







    And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!







    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Episode 341 - Eroticize Daily Interactions: 20 Actionable Tips For Busy Couples



    Intro: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight.



    Dr. Jess: Hey, we've got a replay of one of my favorite topics, one of my favorite episodes on eroticizing daily interactions from April 2021, so you might hear some references to a totally different time. It's a time warp.



    Brandon: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I am your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, hey. How are you?



    Dr. Jess: I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good. I'm interested in this conversation for the two of us as well.



    We're going to be talking about how to make your daily interactions more erotic and What are you laughing at?



    Brandon: I'm immediately thinking about eating a banana.



    Dr. Jess: Oh my gosh, because in my presentations I always talk about how [00:01:00] to eroticize daily interactions because you're not a light switch. You can't go from talking about your taxes and your work and your kids and whether or not your dog had a bowel movement on its last walk to just flipping the switch and being, oh, hi.



    Hey. Tear my clothes off, right? And my joke is when I say To eroticize your daily interactions. I don't mean make everything annoyingly erotic, right? I don't want to be eating a banana and have Brandon look over and be like, Oh yeah, you eat that banana. That's what I'm talking about. It's really more about playfulness and flirtation and I don't know, all these different ways to be erotic.



    It doesn't have to be super sexual or graphic. So we're going to be getting into that. I mean, I guess before we do, I should ask you, Do you feel like our interactions are particularly erotic?



    Brandon: I don't think that I'm an erotic person. I feel very self conscious whenever I'm [00:02:00] trying to do something that I think is erotic, whether I've seen it on, you know, TV, movie, somewhere, I feel like a goof doing it.

    • 40 min
    How To Stop Bickering: 12 Strategies

    How To Stop Bickering: 12 Strategies

    Do you want to...



    Bicker less and catch yourself before you start?

    Stay calm and empathetic during conflict?

    Feel more at ease and connected so - that you're less inclined to fight?



    Tune in for a discussion - of why we bicker and 12 simple strategies to reduce conflict in relationships as Jess and Brandon weigh in on this listener question: "We love each other madly. He’s really the love of my life, and we don’t seem to have any big, deep issues because we’re really aligned - on values, family, spirituality, and the core issues. But we bicker a lot. I don’t like - the example we’re setting for our kids. How can we cut back on the daily bickering so our household is more at ease and we have more peace - because we both work from home."



    Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping.







    And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!







    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Episode 340



    How To Stop Bickering: 12 Strategies



    [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.



    [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Let's bicker.



    [00:00:16] Brandon Ware: Let's, what are we going to bicker over?



    [00:00:18] Jess O'Reilly: You splashing all over the place in the bathroom. Like you're some sort of a hippo in the tub.



    [00:00:22] Brandon Ware: Well, I can't help it because the sink is too small.



    [00:00:25] Jess O'Reilly: Cause your head's big.



    [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: I got a big face. Well, you know what? You make a mess sometimes.



    [00:00:31] Jess O'Reilly: We absolutely suck. We suck at this. We're supposed to be talking about bickering today, but when you put us on the spot, listen, when we're in the middle of a bicker, we got it.



    [00:00:39] Brandon Ware: Things are real.



    [00:00:40] Jess O'Reilly: We've got it down, but to fake it seems really hard.



    [00:00:43] Jess O'Reilly: Uh, we're going to talk about how to stop bickering and having little daily arguments today. We have a question from, uh, from a listener, and this is a question I kind of get over and over. And over again, because life can be stressful and life can be busy. And I think that's one of the big reasons we bicker.



    [00:00:58] Jess O'Reilly: So before we dive into it, want to shout out our sponsors, Adam and Eve. com. They are offering 50 percent off almost any item plus free shipping, plus free handling, which is Brandon's favorite part with code Dr. Jess 50. So check out Adam and Eve. com. Bildos, vibrators, butt plugs, other fun things that you can use in your body.



    [00:01:19] Jess O'Reilly: Adam and Eve. com code. Dr. Jess 50. All right, let's dive right into it.



    [00:01:23] Brandon Ware: Let's, are we going to continue bickering or is, is this where it stops?



    [00:01:26] Jess O'Reilly: No, we're going to start bickering.



    [00:01:28] Brandon Ware: Let's do it. Yeah. Amazing.



    [00:01:29] Jess O'Reilly: Okay. So we have this note, uh, there's a bit of a preamble, but the bulk of it is we love each other madly.



    [00:01:35] Jess O'Reilly: He's really the love of my life.

    • 41 min
    Candid Conversations: Managing the ‘Work Spouse’ and Therapy Avoidance

    Candid Conversations: Managing the ‘Work Spouse’ and Therapy Avoidance

    In this Q&A, Jess and Brandon weigh in on listener queries related to "work spouses", dealing with a partner who refuses to go to therapy and "love tattoos":



    "My husband has a coworker who introduced herself to me as his work wife. I didn’t even know how to respond. When I talked to him about it, he said she was just kidding around. I think it’s inappropriate. He says it’s no big deal. Who is right?"



    "What do you do if your partner refuses; to go to therapy - but the relationship is on the rocks? Asking for a friend."



    "I just turned 18, and I’ve been dating a guy - who is a few years older than me. He comes from money, so he’s shown me a lot of things I’ve never seen before. It has only been a few months, and he wants me to get a matching tattoo. What should I do?"



    Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping.







    And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!







    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Episode 339



    Candid Conversations: Managing the 'Work Spouse' and Therapy Avoidance



    [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.



    [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, how are you doing?



    [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: I'm good. I can see that you're putting on a brave face. I am putting on a brave face.



    [00:00:26] Jess O'Reilly: You know how I know you're having a date.



    [00:00:29] Brandon Ware: How? What's my tell? What's my tell? Is it Terry's?



    [00:00:33] Jess O'Reilly: It's your, it's your left peck. It's my left peck. It's your left peck. It's that I saw the app from your ring on your phone and your stress was way up at the top.



    [00:00:42] Brandon Ware: So I have an Aura ring and it monitors all your vitals and they just released a stress feature.



    [00:00:48] Brandon Ware: I'm stressed out today.



    [00:00:49] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, left peck going hard.



    [00:00:51] Brandon Ware: I feel like some people need to talk it out with somebody other than me.



    [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: So I think so many of us run into this. I'm not going to obviously speak specifically about your situation. I know what's going on, but I think that sometimes you have people in your lives.



    [00:01:05] Jess O'Reilly: Whether they be friends, or clients, or co workers, or just people in your family, who, they have their own anxiety, and they try and attenuate that anxiety through you. And I don't mean they're dumping their problems on you, but they may be actually, in your case, they are actually saying, here are my problems, fix them, even though you can't.



    [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: But, They expect you to kind of jump and dance and twist and twirl around their anxiety as though their urgency is your emergency.



    [00:01:36] Brandon Ware: Ooh, that's a good one. I have heard that before, but their urgency is my emergency. Yes.



    [00:01:40] Jess O'Reilly: I think it's Luna who I first heard say that.



    [00:01:42] Brandon Ware: Was that Luna? Luna Matadas?



    [00:01:43] Jess O'Reilly: It rhymes, you know.

    • 31 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
105 Ratings

105 Ratings

Éric, Québec, Québec ,

En français 😂

Sachez que vous avez des auditeurs francophones 🤙et que vos passages en français sont très drôles 😄😅Toujours un plaisir de vous écouter 🎧

Kristhekat ,

Like sitting for coffee with smart, sex positive friends

This podcast is amazing. Jess and Brandon approach sex and relationships in such a relatable, practical way - I honestly feel like it’s sitting in the room with some awesome, sex positive people who have so much to share, say, and educate with. Their banter appreciably offers their different perspectives, and helps bring this podcast to such a personal, intimate feeling space, where you feel like the information brought to the table is really actually something you can “use tonight”. A must listen, both old and new episodes, with such an incredible array of guests of all kinds of expertise, lived experiences, and flavours.

J6notes ,

Amazing

Love your podcast, continue like this I just wait for the next subject every week

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