273 episodes

In Sex With Dr. Jess, Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, Toronto-based sexologist, author, and media personality, shares tips on how to enhance your sexual life to improve the quality of your relationships. She interviews guests with questions ranging from how to deal with jealousy to getting down in the bedroom, as well as hosting thought-provoking episodes centered around compatibility and strengthening relationships.

Sex With Dr. Jess Dr. Jess O'Reilly

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.6 • 89 Ratings

In Sex With Dr. Jess, Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, Toronto-based sexologist, author, and media personality, shares tips on how to enhance your sexual life to improve the quality of your relationships. She interviews guests with questions ranging from how to deal with jealousy to getting down in the bedroom, as well as hosting thought-provoking episodes centered around compatibility and strengthening relationships.

    Hookup Culture, Sugar-Dating & College Sex

    Hookup Culture, Sugar-Dating & College Sex

    What’s sex like on college campuses?

    Who is having more sex/hookups?

    What role does religion play in college sex?

    Have college students bridged the orgasm gap?



    Dr. Aditi Paul, author, researcher, and professor joins us to share the results of her research with college students. She shares insights on international students’ sex habits, sugar-dating, Greek life, and much more.



    Check out Dr. Aditi Paul's book "The Current Collegiate Hookup Culture," and be sure to follow her on her Twitter and Facebook pages.



    Thank you to AdamAndEve.com for their ongoing support of our program. Please use code DRJESS when shopping to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping.



    If you’ve got podcast questions, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!



    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Hookup Culture, Sugar-Dating & College Sex



    Participant #1:

    You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Today we are talking hookup culture and the current collegiate hookup culture with Dr. Adity Paul, the author of the book by that same name, the Current Collegiate Hookup Culture. So we're going to find out what is happening in college. I can tell you all about my hookup experience in college. What was that? It was nonexistent other than you that one night. That one night at one time you hooked up with me. There were people who hooked up with you before me? Very few. There was that exhaust pipe incident. There was a banana peel. There was. You used to hang out at a bar called Hooterville. I did what? Hooterville the Rock. And was it $2 drinks? It was. Hey, don't knock the two dollar drinks. I'm pretty sure you worked at a place that was $2 drinks. Yeah, I bartended and no, I waitressed at a bar called My Apartment, and it was $2 drinks. And as a waitress, you could sell back then, like, $3,000 a night, and there were a gazillion of us waitresses. When it's $2 drinks, people can drink. Well, you can waste drinks when they're $2. You don't care. You didn't waste drinks. I didn't waste drinks. I had no money. I'm going out tonight with $6. You drank people's left and bridge drinks. Admitted, no, but I had a friend that did that. We had a friend that did that recently. Who? Did you remember? No. Where were we? Mike. Yeah, I know it's Mike. We're throwing Mike under the bus here. We were out, and now, in his defense, he accidentally grabbed a drink. He thought it was his drink, and he just started drinking it. I don't remember. I don't think he stopped drinking it. But he drank somebody else's drink. Well, you know, two dollar drinks. All right, so two dollar drinks can often lead to other things, and that's what we're going to be discussing today. Before we get to that, a big shout out to Adam and Eve.com. They are still offering 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping. Free. Goodies. So go get your vibrators, go get your latex wear, go get your sex pillows, go get your rotating butt plugs, go get your lube, go get your nipple clamps. Adam and Eve.com code dr. Jess. And now let's get into it.



    Joining us now is Dr. Diet Paul, a dating and relationship researcher, a professor based in New York City,

    • 41 min
    Discordant Couples: When One Partner Wants An Open Relationship

    Discordant Couples: When One Partner Wants An Open Relationship

    What do you do when one partner wants to open up the relationship; and the other wants to stay monogamous?

    How do you broach the topic?

    What issues tend to arise among discordant couples?



    Dr. Liz Powell is an author, sex educator, keynote speaker, and licensed psychologist specializing in non-traditional relationships. They join us to weigh in on this topic and share their perspective as a therapist who also identifies as polyamorous.



    Over the last 4 years, Liz's book, Building Open Relationships, has helped non-monogamous people around the world grow and strengthen their relationship(s). One person even said it was the “most helpful, up-to-date book on ethical non-monogamy.”



    Building Open Relationships is a practical, applied resource to help you navigate the world of ethical non-monogamy. As a sex educator and psychologist, Liz believes that Great Sex Can Change The World; and is on a mission to help as many people as they can - to understand and embrace the sexual revolution that’s happening in the world right now. While they are so glad the book has been able to reach so many folks and provide them with some resources, they know that there are folks who haven't been able to access it yet because, until now, it's only been available in print and e-book.



    Because their mission is to help as many people as they can, they believe that they have a responsibility to make their work accessible to all, so they're doing an Indiegogo campaign so that they can finally record an audiobook! Click here to find out more.



    Don't forget to give Dr. Liz a follow on Instagram and Twitter!



    Thank you to AdamAndEve.com for their ongoing support of our program. Please use code DRJESS when shopping to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping.



    If you’ve got podcast questions, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!



    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Discordant Couples: When One Partner Wants An Open Relationship



    Participant #1:

    You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your coach co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, we are going to get right into it because our guest is ready to go. The lovely Dr. Liz Powell is a psychologist, a sex educator, a speaker, an incredible author of Building Open Relationships, which is a guide that I've recommended in the past. It's a really practical resource to help you navigate the world of ethical non monogamy. It's not just the theory. It's also like, well, here are some things I should think about. Here are some things that I might want to reflect upon. Here are some ways to start that conversation. This book has been super helpful to me, super helpful to many clients. So I'm super excited to have Dr. Liz with us right now. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for having me again and for all those compliments on my book. That's so lovely to hear. Thank you. Now, your book has been in print and it's been an ebook, but you actually have a new version coming out, is that correct? Yeah. So I'm hoping to record an audio book. I want to make the book as accessible as possible to everybody. A lot of people who are deaf or hard of hearing, even like, or who are blind or visually impaired,

    • 43 min
    Erotic Embodiments & Polymorphously Perverse Playgrounds of Pleasure

    Erotic Embodiments & Polymorphously Perverse Playgrounds of Pleasure

    What are erotic embodiments?

    Why should we all consider erotic role models?

    How do we embrace and expand pleasure in our bodies?

    What are the benefits of learning about gender beyond the binary — personally and professionally?

    How can thinking beyond the gender binary lead to more pleasure?



    Dr. Lucie Fielding, therapist and author of Trans Sex: Clinical Approaches to Trans Sexualities and Erotic Embodiments, shares her experience, insights, and advice.



    Lucie Fielding (English: she/they; Français: elle/iel) is a queer, non-binary femme, and a therapist practicing in Virginia and Washington. She holds an MA in Counseling Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute (2018) as well as a PhD in French from Northwestern University (2008), where she specialized in erotic literature. Their background in literature attunes them to the many ways that cultural scripts inscribe themselves on our bodies and can inform our embodied erotic lives. In addition to their work as a therapist, Lucie is an Adjunct Professor in the Sex Therapy Certificate Program at Antioch University-Seattle as well as a sex educator and workshop facilitator.



    Thank you to our sponsor,  AdamandEve.com — they're still offering 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping by using my code DRJESS. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.



    If you haven't yet, take a listen to Patricia Nilsson (reporter) and Alex Barker (global media editor) from Financial Times podcast, Hot Money.



    If you’ve got podcast questions, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!



    Rough Transcript:





    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Erotic Embodiments & Polymorphously Perverse Playgrounds of Pleasure



    Participant #1:

    You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and Relationship advice you can use Tonight welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I want to say a big thank you to folks who have been sending in questions and comments, but also well wishes, I guess because we sounds sick or we've been saying we're sick. A bunch of people have written in and I've received more questions for the podcast over the last couple of weeks than I normally do. And I promise you we're going to get to them ASAP and try and get to all of them. I always do my best. I know I can't address every single thing, but if you did write in, thank you for the well wishes and we've got your questions and I promise we are slotting them in to share some thoughts. And oftentimes what I'm trying to do, if you're wondering why I don't get to them right away, is I'm trying to find a really good expert who's perhaps better equipped to address than just the two of us. And I'm excited for today's conversation. Before we get to it, a reminder about the Hot Money podcast, which I've just started digging into. And I mentioned it last week, but I'm happy to offer a reminder again that this is a new series about the porn industry and the money behind it. It is hosted in research by Financial Times reporters, and they started digging into the industry and found that, yes, the performers are bearing at all, but the information about the people and the businesses who run the industry, it's really hidden away, like it's some sort of top secret state secret. So on the Hot Money Podcast,

    • 38 min
    Trauma & Therapy & Writing As A form of Healing

    Trauma & Therapy & Writing As A form of Healing

    How do you begin to process trauma?

    How do you know if you need to process past trauma?

    Is it ever too late to process trauma?

    What are some ways to process trauma beyond psychotherapy?

    Why do we sometimes become “evangelical” about going to therapy?

    How can writing be therapeutic?



    Author and psychotherapist; Farzana Doctor - shares her personal story of breaking up, falling in love & exploring polyamory — all while going through peri-menopause. She shares insights on processing trauma later in life, rethinking self-disclosure in therapy, and writing as a form of healing. She also shares a reading from her new book of poetry, You Still Look The Same.



    Stay up to date with Farzana; by following her on social media - Twitter and Instagram.



    Special thanks to our new sponsor this week. Wherever you get listen to your podcasts, take a listen to Hot Money with hosts Patricia Nilsson (reporter) and Alex Barker (global media editor) from Financial Times.



    And some wonderful news, WeVibe has extended my code for the rest of this week until June 10th. Check our their website and use code DRJESS to get 15% off all toys, including the We-Vibe TouchX, Nova 2 & the beautiful Melt.



    If you’ve got podcast questions, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!



    Rough Transcript:



    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Trauma & Therapy & Writing As A form of Healing



    Participant #1:

    You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co co host, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. I like hearing your voice through the mic. It's a different Brandon. Is it sultry and raspy? It's better than real life Brandon. No. Yeah, it is. Well, it's a little deep right now because you're sick. But we'll get to that. This week. We have a brand new sponsor, and it is a new podcast altogether, the Hot Money Podcast. So this is a new series all about the porn industry and the money that fuels it. It's hosted in research by two Financial Times reporters who kind of started digging into the porn industry. And they found that even though porn obviously relies on performers to literally bear it, all the information about the people and the businesses and the money running the industry is hidden away like some sort of a state secret. So on the Hot Money Podcast, their hosts, Patricia Nielsen and Alex Barker, they're taking listeners inside the porn industry to uncover who is really pulling the strings. So their reporting reveals a story that goes way beyond a single person. It's really a story that includes billionaires and tech geniuses and some of the most powerful finance companies in the world. So this is the Hot Money Podcast. And you can listen to the Hot Money Podcast wherever you get your podcast. And hopefully you're already subscribing to this one. So you can go ahead and check out Hot Money. Now, Brandon and I, you may be able to hear are under the weather. And actually we're feeling really good, but our voices and throats are not. So we're lucky that not too long ago we actually sat down with our friend and a former guest, Farzana Doctor, to talk about her experience with dating with trauma, with her new book, Writing as Therapy. As far as on a doctor, if you don't know her, is a Canadian. She's a celebrated author, activist,

    • 36 min
    How do I give my partner an orgasm?

    How do I give my partner an orgasm?

    From physical techniques to setting the scene and riling them up, Dr. Jess shares tips, strategies, and approaches to pleasure and orgasm. Be sure to shop WeVibe.com with code DRJESS for 15% off all toys including the We-Vibe TouchX, Nova 2 & the beautiful Melt.



    If you’ve got podcast questions, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!



    Rough Transcript:



    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    How do I give my partner an orgasm?



    Participant #1:

    You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.



    Participant #1:

    Hey, this is the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Am. Jess O'Reilly sexologist. And I am totally too on my own today. Brandon is off at work making up for lost time because we have both just returned from a couple of weeks on the road over in Europe. So we were hosting two couples retreats together, and then we were on board the Desire clothing optional couple's crews also hosting workshops. And because that was really more of a work thing for me, he was away from away from the office, away from clients. And he is out making up for lost time today. So it's just me. But I'm quite thrilled to be talking about today's topic on my own. You will hear from my voice that I am definitely under the weather. So this is going to be a little bit of a quickie, but I think still rich in detail and hopefully useful information for everyone out there. I received a couple of different emails from two very different listeners, if I understand these emails correctly. So one is a young guy in College, and one is an older gentleman who has been with his wife for decades and decades. And I got some very specific questions about how to make your partner orgasm. And I really appreciate these questions. I'm really thankful that these two guys and many people out there are really thinking about their partner's pleasure and really looking to prioritize their partner's pleasure. And so the questions came in kind of similarly, even though each of their circumstances is quite different. So without reading the long letters, the first guy is in College and he's been with his girlfriend for only a couple of months. And he doesn't know if she's enjoying sex. And he really just wants to know, how do I make her orgasm? And then the other guy has been with his wife for many, many decades. They really didn't have a lot of sex when they were younger. They're now empty nesters. And he's looking to kick things up a notch. And he acknowledges that maybe her experience with sex hasn't been quite as satisfying as his over the years. And he wants to change that. And he has some very specific questions about how to help out with clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. So, yes, very specifically, how do I give her a clitoral orgasm? How do I give her a vaginal orgasm? And so we're going to get into all of that. And I can feel myself actually, as I start talking that I'm a little bit out of breath from this illness I'm dealing with. And I'm sure, of course, millions of people around the world have been sick over the last couple of years. So many of you out there know what I'm feeling. So I will try and keep my breath up and keep my voice up for this conversation.



    So let's start with from the very beginning, the College guy wants to know how do I make her orgasm? And so that's a big, big question. And again, I'm so glad you're asking it, but I'm going to break it down into some components ...

    • 26 min
    Masochism and The Pleasure of Pain

    Masochism and The Pleasure of Pain

    What is masochism and why can pain feel so good?

    How do you differentiate between safe indulgences and pain versus self-harm?

    How can you begin to explore masochism for your own pleasure?

    How do you ensure consent while playing with pain and pleasure?



    Researcher and journalist, Leigh Cowart, joins Jess & Brandon to discuss the interface of revulsion and arousal. Their latest book, "Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose" is about all the ways humans consent to feeling bad, to feel better. And be sure to follow Leigh Cowart on Twitter at @voraciousbrain.



    Don’t forget that we’re offering 25% off our Mind-Blowing oral courses at HappierCouples.com with code PODCAST. Learn tips, strategies and techniques to ignite the spark & blow your lover’s mind with these 5-part video workshops for the clitoris and the penis.







    If you have questions, please send them our way, right here. We love hearing from you. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!



    Rough Transcript:



    This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.



    Masochism and The Pleasure of Pain



    Participant #1:

    You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm Your cohost, Brad Brandon Ware. And today we are going to be talking pleasure and pain and why pain can be so hot and how to explore pain consensually for maximum pleasure and excitement. I like that. And we have some industry news before we dive into pleasure and pain. And I want to shout out a company who isn't a sponsor, but I'm just really excited for them. This is Laurels, and this is a brand who just had their underwear approved by the FDA for safer oral sex. And I always get questions about oral sex and protection and going to play parties or swing clubs. And of course, you can use condoms on a penis, you can use dental dams on a vulva or a butt. But this is really a game changer because Laurels makes these kind of really sexy, ultra thin, latex undies that are they're silky to the touch and they're stretchy. And honestly, they're adorable. And you use them one time for oral play and FDA approval for I think a product like this is obviously so important, but also a bit revolutionary because everything has been so focused on just one type of kind of penetrative sex, especially in sex education and safer sex. Of course, those of us working in the field have moved beyond that. But now the FDA is finally jumping on board. And oral sex is really one of the most direct routes to pleasure and orgasm for those of us with Vulvas. So this is really cool. And you can use it, of course, on a Volvo or a butt. And yeah, when you have oral sex, of course, there is risk. There is a risk of STIs. And I think people are now more aware of the link between oral sex and STIs and STIs, like HSB and the potential for throat cancer. And of course, I'm not here to scare people off. Like, when you have sex, there's going to be risk. Just like when you get into a car, there's always risk. But if you can reduce your risk, sex is just going to be so much more relaxed and pleasurable and hot. And I have to say, I really a lot of us like the sensation of touch and oral through a really thin barrier, like, you know, how it can feel so good to be touched through the clothes as opposed to just straight on the skin. Do they make them in larger sizes for people like me who want to wear a pair? They do. They do. They come in multiple sizes. So, yeah, big.

    • 36 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
89 Ratings

89 Ratings

J6notes ,

Amazing

Love your podcast, continue like this I just wait for the next subject every week

Emmaitis ,

Saucey

I first heard Dr. Jess speak at the Ottawa Sex Show a few years back and knew I wanted to hear more. Shortly after, I found her podcast and have been listening ever since.

I’m in a long-term heterosexual, monogamous relationship so it’s fun to hear about how I can spice things up. I loved a recent episode on dirty talk (it worked!) and I keep listening back to it. Not every episode is for me, but I find it educational and enlightening. I also work in healthcare, so I’m actually learning a lot in order for me to better support my patients.

I love how Dr. Jess has such inclusive language when she talks about relationships and body parts. She is so open to embracing all avenues of pleasure and lifestyles. Bring her husband onto the podcast has been a positive move, I really enjoy their dynamic and it helps keep the conversation lively.

Thanks Dr. Jess!

snowflake285 ,

Podcast

Love your topics and the insight you bring to the table!!
Keep doing what you both do best!
And thank you for your honesty speaking personally.

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