The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Kate Anthony, CPCC

65-75% of women say they would get divorced if they could, but the fear of post-separation abuse and the court system often prevent them from leaving unequal relationships. And quite frankly, women are fed up, and we have every right to be. Zawn Villines, a feminist activist and writer, joins me for a conversation about misogyny in motherhood and marriage; and how to start advocating for yourself and the women around you. Through her work, Zawn argues that mothers are central to the feminist project and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism and limits women's lives and futures.
In this episode, Zawn and I talk about the division of labor in a marriage, how to communicate openly about creating a shared partnership early on in your relationship, and what to do if you are in a marriage where your partner isn’t participating in parenting and other responsibilities equally. I am such a fan of Zawn’s work, and in fact, I share it all the time. I am thrilled to have her on the show!
Featured topics include:
Zawn describes her background as a feminist and how she came to focus on issues of inequality in marriage and motherhood (1:42) If you are going to be in a long-term relationship with someone, it should be passionate, romantic, full of love, and also a real partnership (5:02) Zawn describes her viral Facebook post about men not contributing enough in heterosexual relationships and the response she received from it (10:17) Why it is imperative we create parenting standards that apply to both parents (25:37) A bad husband who abuses his partner is not a good dad, plain and simple (26:33) Productive conversations about household labor involve acknowledging it is work and stepping up when necessary (37:28) Marriage shouldn't feel exhausting from putting in too much work; it should be a happy, fulfilling partnership (43:43) Learn more about Zawn Villines:
Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women's lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities.
Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy.
Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization.
She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood and end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance.
Resources & Links:
Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-208-misogyny-in-motherhood-and-marriage-with-zawn-villines/

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TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM
 
An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?










 

DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR

Attorney, CDFA, and author Patrick Kilbane joins me to discuss what you need to consider when selecting a divorce attorney. In this episode, we cover some criteria for choosing an attorney, questions to ask during your initial consultation, and what you need to know about your money as you move through divorce.
Patrick is Partner, the General Counsel, and a Wealth Advisor for Ullmann Wealth Partners, headquartered in Jacksonville Beach, FL.  Ullmann Wealth Partners is an independent wealth management firm that manages nearly a billion dollars of client assets. Pat has earned the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and has testified as an expert witness in divorce cases over the last ten years.  He’s also the author of Move Forward Confidently, a Woman’s Guide to Navigating the High Net Worth Divorce.
Featured topics include:
The criteria for selecting an attorney that is right for you (3:06) Some questions to ask during the initial consultation (10:51) The two most important aspects of your divorce case (25:05) What you need to know about your money before going into a divorce(30:43) Learn more about Patrick Kilbane:
Patrick Kilbane is a Partner, the General Counsel, and a Wealth Advisor for Ullmann Wealth Partners, headquartered in Jacksonville Beach, FL.  Ullmann Wealth Partners is an independent wealth management firm that manages nearly a billion dollars of client assets in custody at Fidelity.  Before joining Ullmann Wealth Partners, Pat was a Shareholder at Gray Robinson, P.A., where he had a thriving specialty litigation practice (mainly high net-worth divorce cases).  Pat was recognized multiple times by Florida Trend and Super Lawyers Magazine for his skills and professionalism. Pat has earned the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and has testified as an expert witness in divorce cases over the last 10 years.
Pat serves the Northeast Florida Region in several roles.  He’s received five gubernatorial appointments to the Judicial Nominating Commission for Florida’s Fourth Judicial Circuit and the Jacksonville Aviation Authority Board of Directors.  His fellow board members elected him Chairman of both boards.  Further, Pat is the President of the Jacksonville Lawyers Chapter of the Federalist Society.  In 2014-2015, Pat was elected President of the Young Lawyers Section of the Jacksonville Bar Association.
In 2005, Pat received his Juris Doctor degree from the University of Notre Dame.  He received his Bachelor of Business Administration degree, summa c*m laude, from Adrian College, where he earned the full-ride, merit-based Dawson Scholarship and was named the Outstanding Graduate by faculty vote for the Class of 2002, and is a member of the Board of Trustees.
Resources & Links:

Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-207-selecting-the-right-attorney-for-your-divorce-with-patrick-kilbane/
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Move Forward Confidently: A Women’s Guide to Navigating High-Net-Worth Divorce
TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM
 
An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?










DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN AD

This week, special needs consultant, advisor, and mediator Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., joins me to discuss navigating divorce when you have children with special needs. We touch on the challenges divorcing parents of children with disabilities face, the most common pitfalls and how to avoid them, and how to best advocate for your child now and in the future.
Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., is a dedicated Peacemaker with extensive training and experience in both Mediation and Collaborative Law. He earned certifications in both Negotiation and Mediation at Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation and trained in Divorce & Family Mediation with mediation luminaries Forrest (“Woody”) Mosten and Susan Guthrie at the Mosten Guthrie Academy, where he is now on the training faculty.
Featured topics include:
When parents don’t agree about a child’s special needs or one parent disagrees that a child even has special needs or a disability (8:59) The family court system is not set up to handle divorce when there are children with special needs (14:17) How to advocate for your children’s needs during a high-conflict divorce (18:53) The importance of planning for the long-term needs of your children—will they need ongoing care, a special needs trust, or other specific provisions for their unique situation? (28:23) “If you can build a flexible divorce agreement, it will serve you and your children well.” (38:01) Part of having a child-centered divorce is acknowledging the decisions you make today will have an impact on your children even years after your divorce (43:13) There are ways to go through a divorce that keep co-parents in control, such as mediation and collaborative divorce (50:21) Learn more about Josh Kershenbaum, Esq.
Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., is a dedicated Peacemaker with extensive training and experience in both Mediation and Collaborative Law. He earned certifications in both Negotiation and Mediation at Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation and completed additional Mediation training through the CORA/Good Shepherd Mediation Program. Josh trained in Divorce & Family Mediation with mediation luminaries Forrest (“Woody”) Mosten and Susan Guthrie at the Mosten Guthrie Academy, where he is now on the training faculty. He is also a member of the Board of Directors for the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators. Josh has presented at professional conferences across the country, most recently for the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), the Academy of Special Needs Planners (ASNP), the Council for Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Education (CADRE), the Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates (COPAA), as well as for numerous professional and community organizations. He has been a guest on several programs on National Public Radio, and on the popular podcasts, Divorce and Beyond (Susan Guthrie) and Good Law Bad Law (Aaron Freiwald). Josh began his legal career at Montgomery McCracken Walker & Rhoads, LLC in Philadelphia. He went on to found of Pennsylvania’s premier law firms dedicated to representing the legal rights of children with special needs. Josh later served as Senior Counsel for ADR for one of the region’s most well-respected family law firms, before returning to solo-practice as a Mediator and Collaborative divorce professional. He earned his law degree, c*m laude, from Temple University’s Beasley School of Law and his B.A., a magna cum laude, from Amherst College. Before practicing law, Josh was a public school teacher in Newton, Massachusetts, and served as a Board member for Greater Boston PFLAG. He lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania with his family of five humans and three rescue cats.
Resources & Links:
Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/navigating-divorce-when-you-have-children-with-special-needs-with-josh-kershenbaum-esq/ 
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The Merriam-Webster Word of the Year for 2022 was Gaslighting. Last year, the word experienced a 1,740% increase in lookups, yet there is still much to learn—and many myths to bust. 
In this episode, fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley returns to discuss healing from gaslighting. Together we shed light on the insidious nature of gaslighting and the importance of healing and self-care.
Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD.  She is a trainer, podcaster, and writer in the “science-help” field, focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. 
We explore how gaslighting is used to maintain power and control over someone and how it can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence. Dr. Kelley shares the steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting and stresses the importance of self-care to self-regulate and fortify yourself against this deceptive form of abuse.
Featured topics include:
The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t (2:25) The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health (4:20) Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?” (10:14) You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing (20:08) The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting (21:39) What self-care looks like during the healing process (43:17) Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused (59:40) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley:
Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. 
Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio’s Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS’s Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley.
Resources & Links:

Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/
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NYTimes Article about Women and Menopause 
Heart Disease in Women
TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM
 
An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?










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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PO

Thinking about keeping the house in your divorce? This week, Tami Wollensak joins me to talk about the things you need to consider when deciding whether or not you should keep your marital home. We explore the importance of understanding your finances and what to keep (and manage) the home. We also discuss some of the hidden costs associated with keeping the home such as homeowners insurance, getting a home inspection, and more. Tami offers insightful advice that will help you come to a more informed and peaceful decision about your home.
Tami is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP™) and Senior Mortgage Loan Originator. She takes a holistic approach to the process of evaluating mortgage options in the context of the overall financial objectives as they relate to divorcing situations prior to settlement for the best outcome for the divorcing homeowners.  
Featured topics include:
Even if you want to keep your house, you may not qualify for a mortgage loan (7:42) How a CDLP can help you negotiate to keep your marital home (16:18) Keeping the home might not be your best option (17:15) Understanding and evaluating the numbers can help you to move forward with  a peaceful decision (22:19) You have to be the CFO of your divorce (24:13) Why your credit and obtaining your credit report is critical (33:24) Some of the things you may not have considered about keeping the home like ongoing maintenance, getting a home inspection, and homeowners’ insurance (37:00) Learn more about Tami Wollensak:
Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 25+ year veteran of the industry, she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions while going through the most challenging time of their life. 
Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP™). This specialization provides her the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate. 
As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s (NMLS #1963450) goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. Oak Leaf Community Mortgage is a division of Mutual Federal Bank, Equal Housing Lender, and FDIC insured. 
Resources & Links:
Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/take-or-leave-the-house-with-tami-wollensak/
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Book a Meeting with Tami  
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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM
TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy.
Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. 
With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.
And now for a limited time, you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See

Today I welcome back Dr. Christine Cocchiola to discuss the importance of talking and educating about coercive control, domestic violence, and other abuses (legal, financial, and so on) to better understand, identify, and ultimately advocate for yourself, your children, or loved ones in family court. 
Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor.  She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU.
Featured topics include:
Coercive control can happen in any relationship or any environment (4:08)
Most domestic violence is based on power and control (6:59)
The lack of ratification of The Equal Rights Amendment and its effect on women - such as the fact that women cannot sue for violation of their rights (18:23)
How to litigate within a family court system that is stacked against you (26:47)
Why it is important to think like the abuser as well as be two steps ahead when going into a courtroom (33:44)
Divorce attorneys need to understand and be attuned to the difference between victims and perpetrators (40:29)
Learn more about Dr. Christine Cocchiola:
Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor.  She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally.  Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control.  She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey toward healing their children.
Resources & Links:

Information may also be found at http://www.kateanthony.com/podcast/empowering-victims-to-have-a-voice-with-dr-christine-cocchiola
Grit & Grace Coaching Program
Dr. Cocchiola’s website
Dr. Cocchiola on Instagram
Dr. Cocchiola on Facebook
Dr. Cocchiola on Twitter
Dr. Cocchiola on LinkedIn
Dr. Cocchiola’s past episode on Coercive Control
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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy.
Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. 
With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.
And now for a limited time, you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.)





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