Passion Creek Church Trey Van Camp

One of the hardest parts of our lives to make peace with is the pain and suffering that follows us. All of us experience hardship, and for some, it’s the defining attribute of our lives. Whether from death, loss, infertility, chronic illness, sudden diagnoses, relational hurt and betrayal, or simply from apathy and the monotony of life, all of us have painful experiences. Making peace with our pain doesn’t mean we ignore its reality. It actually means the opposite. Unlike Abel in Genesis 4, we don’t allow our pain to stir up bitterness in our hearts. Instead, framing our pain is a way for us to vocalize our pain to God. We name the emotions connected to our pain, and we voice these emotions back to God. But we also declare God’s faithfulness back to ourselves. Like Jesus in the Garden before His crucifixion, we use our pain as a reminder that God is still faithful and in control. And even in our lowest, God is still near.

Once we’ve made peace with our past, we must learn to forge new patterns. To do this requires us to take ownership for the ways we contribute to the pain of the people around us. All of us have ways of coping with pain in our own lives, and some of these coping mechanisms can be good. If we’re lucky, we learn from our parents what it means to own up to our mistakes, forgive others, and resolve conflict well. But all of us also carry negative coping mechanisms into our relationships as well. Some call these negative coping mechanisms attachment styles. We learn how to get what we want from people and how to avoid pain that comes with relationships. Put another way, all of us tend to cope by becoming either peace-fakers or peace-breakers. We fake peace by ignoring conflict, pain, and hard conversations with others. We break peace by blowing up on those around us, storming off, and giving into anger and resentment. And like all negative coping mechanisms, these patterns are often fueled by lies we believe about ourselves, others, and God. By making peace with our patterns, we’re intentionally confronting our flesh. We’re calling out the selfish parts of who we are and refusing to let it rule over our relationships. Like the Psalmist in Psalm 139, we’re inviting God to search us and know us to get rid of the offensive and sinful parts of us (Psalm 139:23-24).

All of us are shaped by our past. Where we come from, who we come from, and the way we were raised all shape who we are today in profound ways. Most of us have a basic awareness of our family of origin, but few of us have done the hard work of learning about our past to better understand who we are today. As a result, all of us unknowingly transmit the same narratives, patterns, pains, and expectations as our family before us. To make peace with our past is to return to an ancient tradition from the scriptures. Throughout the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, God tells His people to remember where they’ve come from, what God has saved them from, and the promises He has made (Deut. 6:12, Isa. 46:9, Ps. 143:5). Making peace with our past means we must forgive our past. We must take intentional time to see where we come from. We learn about our family of origin to better understand where our behaviors and patterns come from, both good and bad. But most importantly, we look back in order to recognize God’s providence and care for us in our lives. By recognizing both positives and negatives in our past, we’re able to see how God has used our family of origin to shape who we are.

In Acts 7, a pivotal moment occurs in the story of the church. Stephen faces false accusations from the Jewish high priests and is forced to defend himself in court. But rather than responding with anxiety, he delivers a speech, tracing Jewish history from Abraham to Moses, and emphasizing God’s presence with His people. It’s a brilliant display of his wisdom and knowledge, but more importantly, it’s a lesson to the church today. By highlighting the rejection experienced by Joseph and Moses, Stephen shows us that we are God’s new temple, and we will face the same rejection for our commitment to Jesus. But just like the people mentioned in his speech, we must remain committed to stewarding our influence rather than seeking more power. When we commit to loving and serving our enemies, practicing the way of Jesus together in community, facing persecution with hope and endurance, and seeking influence rather than power, we serve as God’s new temple, representing his true character to the world around us.

Many of us fall into the trap of believing the myth of comfort: if something goes wrong, we must be doing something wrong. We falsely assume that if we’re doing the right things, we won’t face suffering, opposition, or conflict of any kind. But in Acts 6, we see why this is a myth. As it grows, the early church faces conflict. There’s complaining within the church and persecution outside the church. But rather than giving up on those around them or giving in to those around them, the church endures internal resistance and external persecution. By learning to abandon the myth of comfort, we too can become non-anxious in the face of resistance.

To follow the way of Jesus in today’s age will often put us at odds with those around us. Our convictions and beliefs are seen as archaic at best, and dangerous at worst. Like the early church, the world around us will pressure us to cave to its own ideals, and then blame us when things go wrong. And more often than not, when faced with this blame, we react poorly. Most of us will fall into two temptations; some of us will give into a failure of heart. We’ll lose our connectedness and love for those around us, especially those who resist us. Or we’ll give in to a failure of nerve. We’ll cave to the pressure and anxiety around us, and bypass the calling God has for us. To counter these temptations, we can learn from Peter and the apostles in Acts 5. After being miraculously freed from prison for preaching and demonstrating the gospel, the apostles resist a failure of heart and nerve by moving in proximity to those they’re called to serve, staying true to their message, and relying on God to continue saving them.