ADHD Mums

Jane McFadden

Being a mum is hard enough. Being a mum with ADHD — or raising neurodivergent kids is a whole different level. ADHD Mums is the unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast hosted by Jane McFadden, educational neuroscientist, advocate, and mother of three. This isn’t another polished parenting show with 'ten easy tips.' It’s real stories, confessions we’re not supposed to say out loud, and the research that explains why so many of us are running on empty. Every week you’ll hear: 🎙️ Confessions — raw, anonymous truths from mums navigating rage, burnout, and survival. 🧠 Expert insights — from neuroscientists, clinicians, and policy leaders on ADHD, autism, and mental health. 💬 Advocacy in action — exposing ADHD medication shortages, NDIS red tape, and the hidden costs mothers carry. With over 1 million downloads already tuning in from across the world, the podcast has already influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, been featured in national media, and pushed politicians to answer the questions mothers are asking. If you’ve ever screamed in the car, forgotten every form until the night before, or wondered if you’re the only one falling apart — this podcast is your proof that you’re not broken, you’re just telling the truth.

  1. 1. Season 4 Launch: Who Am I If I Stop Being In Service to Everyone in My Life?

    2 days ago

    1. Season 4 Launch: Who Am I If I Stop Being In Service to Everyone in My Life?

    The cafe moment. A waiter. Six seconds of blank silence. I've ordered for everyone in my life for 40 years and when someone asked what I wanted, there was nobody home. Season 4 starts here. This isn't a self-help season. It's not a divorce season. It's the work nobody warned us about — what happens after the diagnosis, when the operating system fails and you don't know who you are without it. What We Cover The cafe, the menu, the bacon and eggs my husband always orders — and the six seconds I'll never forgetWhy I can connect every menu item to what my kids or husband would eat, but not to what I wantThe dopamine system that drives preference — and what happens after 30, 40 years of overriding itWhat I'm doing for my 40th: nothing, because I don't knowWho you become when you're at service to everyone — partners, kids, in-laws, WhatsApp groups, work, the can-you-just emailsWhy "operating system" is the only word that fits — and why my daughter is starting to run it tooWhy the diagnosis doesn't just add a chapter. It rewrites the whole book.The pushback — the first quiet no, the partners who pretend not to notice, the friends who stop calling, the "you've changed"Why the mask isn't a costume anymore — for some of us, it's the whole identity, and everyone we love is calibrated to itThe five-stage renovation — the cost, the recognition, the pushback, the collision, the repairWhy I'm stuck in stage three and don't pretend otherwiseWhat's coming in Season 4: Dr Sunita Chelva returning, a miniseries on the pushback, what happens in the body when the operating system can't run anymoreWhy I'm done waiting — for the politicians, the clinicians, the right medication, the right specialist, the right strategyThe shredding (not the gym kind — the bearded dragon kind)I'm not your guide. I'm the woman next to you at school pickup going, this is f****d, how do you feel? Related Episodes S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout (Dr Sunita Chelva) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/S3 EP52: HORMONES — When HRT Isn't Enough: Mum Rage & Perimenopause Explained — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-hormones-when-hrt-isnt-enough-mum-rage-perimenopause-explained/ 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

    18 min
  2. 108. 'Supportive of What?' The Year a Friend Asked Me One Question and Broke the Season 3

    4 days ago

    108. 'Supportive of What?' The Year a Friend Asked Me One Question and Broke the Season 3

    The birthday of ADHD Mums came and went and I didn't celebrate. I'd spent a whole season demanding a seat at the table. By the end of it I was in bed, couldn't walk, getting diagnosed with perimenopause mid-record, and a friend asked me one question that broke the whole thing open. Supportive of what? What We Cover The launch episode promise — "no more explaining, just strategy" — and why I delivered it and still feel like I liedTwo lipedema operations, four months unable to walk, demanding a seat at the table from a hospital bedThe cooked roast chicken after the C-section, and what I now call that "badge of honour"Crying mid-record with Dr Sunita Chelva and getting diagnosed with perimenopause to my faceReading the DSM at 15, walking into my parents' room, and being told to sweep it under the rugWhy I gave up on the NDIS politicians — Mark Butler, the budget line, the room with no lived experienceThe premiers and health ministers messaging me now to re-announce nothingThe friend who said 'Supportive of what?' and broke the whole season openWhat it costs to be the high-functioning ADHD woman who could do it allWhy the strategy episodes were never the ones that landed — the identity episodes wereThe scheduled five-minute breakdown in the car, the wipe, the smileA million downloads, and what you've been doing for me without knowing itI'm not your guide. I'm the woman next to you in the car park. Related Episodes S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/S3 EP52: HORMONES — When HRT Isn't Enough: Mum Rage & Perimenopause Explained — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-hormones-when-hrt-isnt-enough-mum-rage-perimenopause-explained/S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/S3: Overstimulated Before 7am (Rachel Few) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/rachel-few/S3 EP4: The Advanced ADHD + Neurodivergence Myths.. Busted — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-4-the-advanced-adhd-neurodivergence-myths-busted/ 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

    22 min
  3. 107. Sorry I'm Late. I Have ADHD.' But .... My Friend Has ADHD Too. She's Never Late

    20 May

    107. Sorry I'm Late. I Have ADHD.' But .... My Friend Has ADHD Too. She's Never Late

    Sorry I'm late. I have ADHD. So does my friend. She's sitting at the coffee shop halfway through her first one, watching me sweat through the door twenty minutes late. Same diagnosis. Different morning. Different brain doing the work behind it. What We Cover The vein surgery saga — three appointments, three completely different outcomes, same brainThe receptionist who handed me the appointment card like a library card and the one who didn'tWhy "set more alarms, leave earlier" is the equivalent of telling someone with low blood sugar to just have more energyThe four types of ADHD time blindness — petrol gauge stuck on full, the car that won't start, the GPS that lies, the seatbelt warning that's lateWhy your strategies haven't worked — because they were built for someone else's typeWhat actually works for each one — visual time, body doubling, departure rituals, calibration with a stopwatch, manufactured deadlinesWhy "I left heaps of time" keeps being true and untrue at the same timeThe 40-50% rule — adults with ADHD underestimate task time by half. Double it. Then add buffer.Why the friend at the coffee shop at five to nine isn't more disciplined — she's borrowing structure from her environmentWhat collapses on school holidays, sick days, working from home, and what that tells you about which strategies are actually holding you upThe estrogen/dopamine link — why the same brain at 32 isn't the same brain at 42 Free Resource Energy Accounting Guide — for the dopamine/load piece: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/ Free Resources Library: https://adhdmums.com.au/product-category/free-resources/ Paid Resource ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/ Related Episodes S3 EP24: QUICK RESET — The ADHD Myth of 'Just Try Harder' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/S2 EP67: Why Routines Always Seem to Fail for ADHD Families — and How to Fix Them — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-67-why-routines-always-seem-to-fail-for-adhd-families-and-how-to-fix-them/S3 EP49: QUICK RESET — "I'm Not Lazy — My House Just Doesn't Have a Memory" — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/ 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast REFERENCES Time blindness & time perception in ADHD Barkley, R. A. (2001). Time perception and reproduction in young adults with ADHD. Neuropsychology, 15(3), 351–360. Weissenberger et al. (2021). Time Perception in Adult ADHD: A Decade Review. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9962130/ Tuckman, A. (2022). Why Is Time So Slippery? ADDitude. https://www.additudemag.com/time-estimation-planning-fallacy-adhd/ Delay aversion Sonuga-Barke, E. J. S. (2003). The dual pathway model of AD/HD. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, 27(7), 593–604. Waiting mode https://focusmag.uk/waiting-mode-why-adhd-can-make-doing-nothing-feel-impossible/ Body doubling Kopec, Smith & Bilbo (2019). Dopamine as Mediator of Social Behaviour. Trends in Neurosciences, 42(5), 337–348. ADDA: https://add.org/the-body-double/ Estrogen, dopamine & ADHD Eng et al. (2024). Menstrual Cycle Hormonal Fluctuations in ADHD. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12786913/ CHADD: https://chadd.org/adhd-news/adhd-news-adults/attention-those-lovely-mones-the-intersection-of-adhd-and-hormones/ Monash University: https://lens.monash.edu/how-hormones-and-the-menstrual-cycle-can-affect-women-with-adhd-5-common-questions/

    31 min
  4. 106. He'll Eat When He's Hungry.'  Three Years Later My Son Was in Hospital on a Feeding Tube with Tracy Jewel Constable

    18 May

    106. He'll Eat When He's Hungry.' Three Years Later My Son Was in Hospital on a Feeding Tube with Tracy Jewel Constable

    You take your child to the doctor. You tell them this isn't fussy, this isn't a phase. They tell you he'll grow out of it. Maybe it's his tonsils. Maybe you're anxious. Maybe your boundaries aren't strong enough. You leave the appointment knowing something isn't right, and starting to wonder if the something is you. What We Cover Why ARFID gets missed for years while professionals chase tonsils, grommets, and dental workWhat happens when every silver bullet surgery makes zero difference and the grief that followsThe cruise ship that didn't work, the buffet that didn't work, the Woolworths smuggling run that came too lateRefeeding syndrome — when your malnourished child's body goes into shock from being fedThe PEG surgery, the six-week wait that should've been six months, and a five-year-old dancing in the lounge room for the first timeThe cognitive impact of three years of malnutrition and the guilt of not pushing harder, soonerWhy mum's intuition keeps being right while siloed specialists keep passing the buckThe mental load of cooking the same crepe, the same rice mound, the washed meatballs — every single dayWhat it costs to keep advocating when no one believes you More About Tracy Free Resource Facebook Group — for parents in this loop who need other mums who get it: https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast External Support Tracy Mentions Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA)Butterfly Foundation Paid Resource The Meltdown & Shutdown Guide for Mums & Children https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/ Episodes on ARFID & Tracy's last episode S3 EP58: Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence (Tracy) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-58-neurodivergence-and-parentingS2 EP81: You've Tried Everything… They Still Won't Eat: Real Strategies for ARFID at Home — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-81-youve-tried-everything-they-still-wont-eat-real-strategies-for-arfid-at-home/S3 EP46: ARFID, Eating Disorders & the Neurodivergent Body: What We Got Wrong (Marie Camin) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-46-arfid-eating-disorders-the-neurodivergent-body-what-we-got-wrong/ 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

    30 min
  5. 105. I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes. Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment

    13 May

    105. I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes. Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment

    You can talk your daughter down in two minutes. Then you turn around and tell yourself to stop being such a f*cking embarrassment. Same brain. Same mum. Two completely different voices within minutes. 🧠 What we cover in this episode: Why you can co-regulate a child in two minutes and tear yourself apart for the rest of the dayThe "good girl" reflex and how we absorbed an inward voice between six and twenty-sixWhy co-regulation is a directional skill — and most ADHD mums have only built it pointing outwardWhy the inward channel isn't empty — it's full of RSD running threat assessment on youWhy "be kinder to yourself" has never worked (and isn't going to)Why gratitude journals, affirmations, "filling your cup," and "talk to yourself like your best friend" don't fix thisWhy softness towards yourself can feel like a threat to the structure holding everything togetherThe identity layer — being "the regulated one," the calm mum, the one who handles itThe one thing that actually works — and yes, you'll feel ridiculous doing it 💭 This episode is for you if: 📥 Free Resource: ➡️ Energy Accounting Guide — for when you've worked out the cup isn't empty, it's got a hole in the bottom of it. A free guide to figure out where your energy is actually going. 👉 Download here 📓 Want to go deeper? The ADHD Values & Planner is for when you realise being "the regulated one" has become an identity, not a choice — and you want to find your way back to what actually matters to you. 👉 Get the planner here 🎧 Related Episodes: S1 EP9: An RSD Story — Taking My Own Advice 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/an-rsd-story-taking-my-own-advice-s1-ep9/S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/S3 EP53: QUICK RESET: Self-Care Feels Nice. Self-Regulation Keeps You Alive. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-53-quick-reset-self-care-feels-nice-self-regulation-keeps-you-alive/ 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

    19 min
  6. 104. When a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids with Amanda Moses

    11 May

    104. When a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids with Amanda Moses

    Sometimes the only thing that got you through the day was the iPad. And then you scrolled past a clip telling you screens are rewiring your kid's brain. Causing ADHD. Making them socially broken. And your stomach dropped. You weren't being lazy. You were trying to regulate yourself before you said something you'd regret. But the guilt arrived anyway. Right on cue. This week, Amanda Moses — senior psychologist, ADHD and autism assessor, the woman who actually trains other psychologists in this space — sits down to go through the Osher Günsberg clip line by line. The one with the neuroscientist claiming 'digital ADHD' is now the majority of cases. The one your mother-in-law sent you. The one that made you feel sick. Amanda brings the receipts. None of them say what he said they said. What We CoverThe 'digital ADHD' claim — and what the actual heritability research says (74-80%, by the way)Why your phone notification is not going to give you a heart attack, no matter how many amygdala fight-or-flight diagrams someone drawsThe 'still face' babies story — what the research actually shows about distractionWhy online connection counts — especially for autistic women, regional mums, and anyone who can't just 'turn up to playgroup'Why this kind of content hurts the women who can't afford a psych session and are already running on guilt About Amanda:Check out Amanda's Management Strategies for ADHD.Check out Amanda's social media here Amanda's References from this episode: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11472914/ https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0306910 https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1441191/full https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-022-02130-3#Sec25 Check out Related Episodes S2 EP82: ADHD or PTSD? Why So Many Women Are Misdiagnosed (Amanda Moses) https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-82-adhd-or-ptsd-why-so-many-women-are-misdiagnosed-with-amanda-moses/S3 EP34: Is It Social Anxiety — or Is It Autism (Amanda Moses) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-34-is-it-social-anxiety-or-is-it-autism-with-amanda-moses/S3 EP4: The advanced ADHD + Neurodivergence Myths.. Busted — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-4-the-advanced-adhd-neurodivergence-myths-busted/ 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

    30 min
  7. 103: When You Say 'I Don't Mind, Whatever's Easy' for Mother's Day — And Spend Sunday Cleaning Up Your Own Gifts

    6 May

    103: When You Say 'I Don't Mind, Whatever's Easy' for Mother's Day — And Spend Sunday Cleaning Up Your Own Gifts

    There's a script around Mother's Day that doesn't account for any of us. You're meant to want a candle, a coffee, a sleep-in, and to look visibly grateful at the end of it. If you can't name what you want, you're ungrateful. If you do name it, you have to manage it. If you stay quiet, you spend Sunday night cleaning up the wrapping paper from your own gifts. This episode is the one underneath that script. The maths nobody's saying out loud. The reason your brain blanks. And one small thing to try this Sunday — not to fix the year, just to notice what the silence is actually doing. This episode is for you ifHe asks what you want and your brain just stopsYou always say I don't mind, whatever's easy and then feel a bit hollow when Sunday's overYou've spent Mother's Days managing other people's mothers and have nothing left for your ownYou're a single mum and Sunday is just another Sunday, except this one's worseYou're grieving — your own mum, the version of motherhood you wanted, or bothYou've been telling yourself for years that you're just too sensitive Related episodesS2 EP88: I Made the Lunches, Booked the Table, and Still Felt Invisible (Mother's Day) S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now. S3 EP18 Quick Reset: Why You're Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

    18 min
  8. 102. When You Stop Calling Your Friend and Start Talking to ChatGPT — And You're Not Sure What It's Costing You with Laetitia Andrac

    4 May

    102. When You Stop Calling Your Friend and Start Talking to ChatGPT — And You're Not Sure What It's Costing You with Laetitia Andrac

    Half the conversations about AI are men in San Francisco telling you it'll change everything. The other half are people telling you it'll destroy the planet and your children's future. Neither of those people are doing the school run, the NDIS application, the lunchboxes, or holding it together at 9pm. This episode is for the mum in the middle. The one who's curious but hesitant. The one who's already using it but feels weird about it. The one who tried it once, got a creepy answer, and shut the tab. Leticia Andrack has worked in AI since 2014. She's autistic, ADHD, PDA, dyslexic, French, and a mum of two neurodivergent girls. She's not selling you anything. She's just telling you how to use the tool without it using you. This episode is for you ifYou've used AI to write the email you couldn't face — and felt a bit guilty about itYou're worried about the data, the environment, your kids' futures, and you can't tell which fear is realYou've vented to ChatGPT and it agreed with you so hard you almost did something you'd regretYou don't know the difference between Claude, ChatGPT, Gemini, or which one to even openYou feel behind, and behind feels like another thing on the listYou're sick of being mansplained to about technology RESOURCES & REFERENCESTo connect with Laetitia Andrac - check her out here Understanding Zoe platform - check it out here 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send me a WhatsApp voice message here: https://wa.me/61403457313 ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written) https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

    38 min

About

Being a mum is hard enough. Being a mum with ADHD — or raising neurodivergent kids is a whole different level. ADHD Mums is the unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast hosted by Jane McFadden, educational neuroscientist, advocate, and mother of three. This isn’t another polished parenting show with 'ten easy tips.' It’s real stories, confessions we’re not supposed to say out loud, and the research that explains why so many of us are running on empty. Every week you’ll hear: 🎙️ Confessions — raw, anonymous truths from mums navigating rage, burnout, and survival. 🧠 Expert insights — from neuroscientists, clinicians, and policy leaders on ADHD, autism, and mental health. 💬 Advocacy in action — exposing ADHD medication shortages, NDIS red tape, and the hidden costs mothers carry. With over 1 million downloads already tuning in from across the world, the podcast has already influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, been featured in national media, and pushed politicians to answer the questions mothers are asking. If you’ve ever screamed in the car, forgotten every form until the night before, or wondered if you’re the only one falling apart — this podcast is your proof that you’re not broken, you’re just telling the truth.

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