Mindfulness Mode Bruce Langford

Elaine Lin Hering is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully. A facilitator, author, and speaker, Elaine helps organizations and individuals develop communication, collaboration, and conflict management skills. Her global experience spans six continents, and she has facilitated executive education at prestigious institutions such as Harvard, Dartmouth, Tufts, UC Berkeley, and UCLA. Formerly the Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program and a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, Elaine has worked with diverse groups, from BHP Billiton coal miners to senior leaders at the US Department of Commerce. Her clients include American Express, Chevron, Google, Nike, Novartis, PayPal, Pixar, and the Red Cross. Her upcoming book is set for release by Penguin in 2024.[show-notes-bio]






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Contact Info
Website: www.ElaineLinHering.com[show-notes-contact]
Most Influential Person
Sora Kim (Mindfulness Coach)
[show-notes-influence]
Effect On Emotions
























I learned a very expensive lesson at Harvard Law School: Emotions are valid. I did not know this from my family of origin.
Mindfulness is the awareness of how I am feeling. What emotions are coming up? Can I give them names? Can I label them? Can I interact with them?
But any of that action first requires awareness.
[show-notes-emotions]

Thoughts On Breathing












































We should breathe regularly. Yeah. And deeply. And intentionally, right, the breathing exercises I've learned from my own therapist have helped me. It's nothing novel; four counts in, four counts out. As a singer, we always talked about breathing from the diaphragm rather than the shallow breath. And that's really similar to mindfulness breathing exercises.
Again, the question to me is, why don't we do this more often, even if we know it is good for us? Even if we have experienced the positive impacts of the habit of breathing right, according to the pace around us.
And that's the opportunity for each of us to choose.
Bullying Story
As a parent, I've had conversations about whether my kindergartener is being bullied or is the bully. Bullying is all about impact, regardless of intention. Take the kid who took a pencil to my son's head; the narrative was he wanted to play but didn't know how to approach safely.
Bullying fascinates me because it's a disconnect between intention and impact. We often focus on our good intentions, saying, "That's not what I meant." But that doesn't absolve the negative impact or damage done to the recipient.
Mindfulness, to me, is aligning good intentions with awareness of their impact on others. Are you receptive to feedback, whether it’s someone saying "I'm hurt" or being silent? How do you reconcile your intentions with the actual impact? This intentionality is deeply interconnected with mindfulness.[show-notes-breathing]





















Suggested Resources
Book: Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully
Book: Micro Activism: How You Can Make a Difference in the World without a Bullhorn by Omkari L. Williams and Layla F. Saad
App: The note-taking app on my phone[show-notes-resources]
Related Episodes
Nourishing Your Truth and Finding Your Voice; Shauna Reiter
Intuition, Spirituality, and Our Inner Voice; Mary Ann Bohrer
Exploring AI-Enhanced Storytelling; Richard Rosser
Offer From Bruce
Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with 'I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

Colin Sanburg helps business owners discover an effective financial playbook for change in their business. Colin is a multi-business owner and Founder of FinElevate, a strategic finance firm that transforms numbers into profitable insights rather than mere expense categorization. As CEO and owner of manufacturing, distribution, and service businesses, Colin developed a passion for simplifying small business finance and empowering fellow entrepreneurs to achieve their dreams. He launched several mastermind groups, dedicating countless hours to providing advice and support. Over time, Colin became the trusted advisor for financial strategy within his network.






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Contact Info
Website: www.finelevate.com
Most Influential Person
My CPA (A Mentor)
Effect On Emotions
























I can be an intense and critical person. The best thing about mindfulness, for me, is similar to when a speaker doesn't hear themselves say “um.” The first step is to hear yourself say it, so you can eventually remove it from your vocabulary.
Mindfulness works the same way with emotions. The first step is recognizing in the moment that you're being intense. Once you master that, you can hopefully catch it right before it happens.
The real breakthrough comes when you start to experience the emotion and recognize that it doesn't have to be that way. I'm not there all the time, but when I am, it changes my life.
I can decide not to get worked up, accept things as they are, and move on without wasting energy on it.

Thoughts On Breathing












































I don't know if you're familiar with it, but my favorite breathing technique is the four-sided box breathing. It might have been developed by the military or popularized through their use, but I find it really impactful.
When I go on stage, I feel this overwhelming burst of energy. If I don't express it physically, I can't calm down, which is strange because I'm an introvert and don't usually feel this way. It's the best way I can describe the nerves of getting up there.
What I found is that using the four-sided box breathing helps. You count a set number of seconds—four, three, five, whatever you're comfortable with—for each part of the breath. You take that time to inhale, hold the breath in, exhale, and then hold the breath out. If you take the same amount of time for each of those four sides and go through a number of cycles, it really helps.
It gets tough when you have to hold the breath with your lungs empty. If you can't do that, it's a sign you're breathing too shallow and not getting good enough breaths.
For me, it's both a diagnostic tool and a way to force myself to slow down and calm my breathing.
Bullying Story
The best example of bullying I've experienced is with a former business partner, a family member whose business I bought into and ultimately bought out. This happened later in my career when I had mindfulness, but I could have handled it better. It was a controlling situation. I ran the business for several years but wasn't the majority owner at the time.
Everyone knew it was time for me to buy the company, which both sides believed. However, there was this element of bullying because they knew how much I had invested in making the company successful and how much progress I'd made.
The approach was bizarre and unprofessional, with talks about me buying the company but them still controlling it.
Mindfulness has taught me a lot. Now, thanks to Chris Voss's book “Never Split the Difference,” I understand things better and don't get upset as easily.
The biggest shift would have been to anticipate such situations, not let them visibly upset me, and instead process, plan, and work my way out of it calmly.





















Suggested Resources
Book: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss
Book: The Obstacle

Andrea Johnson believes in core value leadership rather than cookie-cutter leadership solutions. She collaborates with ambitious female leaders, founders, community leaders, and public officials who feel stifled and are unsatisfied with their current level of impact. As a certified Maxwell Leadership Speaker, Trainer, Coach, and DISC Behavioral Analysis Consultant, Andrea enhances communication and corporate culture in women-owned or operated teams.Andrea empowers executives and founders to lead authentically with conviction and confidence. By uncovering their core values, she enables clients to become impactful leaders. Her passion lies in equipping female leaders to define a new culture by trusting their ability to think critically, create imaginatively, and lead effectively.A Core Values Digital Course and Hybrid Coaching program are offered by Andrea, along with an affiliate program for both. Additionally, she provides a free downloadable Core Values exercise that can be easily completed.






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Contact Info
Website: www.TheIntentionalOptimist.com
Most Influential Person
Allegra Stein (A Former Coach)
Effect On Emotions
























I am an enneagram 6. I am on my head, and emotions scare me to death. I have big ones because I'm also an empath.
I learned from a counselor that my emotions are like a screen door. Allow the wind to blow through, and don't try to close the door; just let it blow through. If you don't, the door will come off its hinges, and you will have problems.
I see my emotions as waves. Sometimes, the waves are big, but the easiest way to survive a big wave is to stand there and let it hit you and then come back up.

Thoughts On Breathing












































Box breathing is very helpful. I also get heart palpitations. One of the first YouTube videos I put out there is about how to manage the anxiety that I've had for years.
I often lie down and breathe. Box breathing is helpful, but I can also hyperventilate easily.
So I lay down, breathe straight from my belly, think about it, and count my numbers. It is amazing how quickly that calms my nervous system.
Bullying Story
I was the chubby kid. I grew up overseas, and my parents were missionaries. So, I went to an international School in Seoul, Korea. In the 1970s, obesity was not what it is now. We didn't understand it or have as much of it. Being the chubby kid, I was always picked on.
I was not bullied the way we see it happen in severe cases. A kid came behind me in 5th grade and stomped his feet as if I was shaking the ground as I walked. He was much smaller than me, so I turned around and leveled him.
In a situation like that, it would have been nice to have had some mindfulness and to be able to say this is his issue, not mine. But at 10 years old, you don't have that.





















Suggested Resources
Book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
Book: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
App: Microsoft ToDo App
Related Episodes
Living A Mindful Desert Island Life; Jason Barnard
Be The Leader They Want To Follow; Tressa Yonekawa Bundren
Evolving Your Leadership and Work-Life Harmony; Andre Young
Offer From Bruce
Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

Nelson Paredez-Parks sets an example of accountability, purpose, and community. He is a dynamic individual, renowned for expertly transforming the youth in the entertainment industry. He is known for his leadership of The ESI Network, a premier talent management company with over thirty years in the entertainment world. He’s an expert in getting kids into show business as well as navigating the entertainment business with healthy boundaries.Nelson's multifaceted career includes roles as an actor, commercial casting session director, and a sought-after acting coach. He has guided hundreds of actors through innovative classes and workshops. His industry expertise has been showcased on “Access Hollywood,” “E! Entertainment,” and “Channel 5 News,” as well as in major newspapers and radio shows, cementing his reputation as a leading figure in entertainment.






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Contact Info
Website: www.helpandanswers.com
Most Influential Person
T. Harv Eker
Effect On Emotions

























Since I've coached so many people, I feel like I've learned the skills to be able to automatically go there. Obviously, when it comes to personal relationships like marriage, everything's a little bit heightened. With friends, you can operate in one world. With parents, siblings, your wife, your husband, you're needing to set a different skill set and have boundaries. In business I can handle emotions very calmly.


Thoughts On Breathing












































When I was teaching acting, breathing was definitely an element of it. Many times I will find myself not breathing enough. I will say to even clients when they're going in. Let's say they're auditioning for a big series when they're actors.
It is important that you actually shift the other person's breathing. I found that if you're intentional about going into any meeting, if you can shift the other person's breathing within the meeting, you've connected on a whole different level.
Bullying Story
I've seen a lot of kids that have been bullied in the process. I had one actor whose friends at school did not appreciate his acting and they would gang up on him and make fun of him because he was not playing sports.
We had to come up with a plan. He ultimately had to be removed from the school he was attending and move to another school where he could be in a creative arts program.





















Suggested Resources
Book: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
App: Calm
Related Episodes
Unlocking Infinite Abundance; Brandon Beachum
2 Words To Redirect Your Life
Deep, Confident Peace; Dr. Tara Perry
Offer From Bruce
Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

Do you believe you need to drop guilt? Do you feel guilty often, and do you think those feelings of guilt might be holding you back? Let’s talk about guilt. Guilt is defined as feelings of deserving blame, especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: self-reproach. Guilt may also be a feeling of deserving blame for offenses. We can feel guilty for various reasons, including sleeping too much, not providing, not being successful enough, feeling inadequate, or not earning enough money. Stay tuned for a conversation about guilt.
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Contact Info
Website: www.MindfulnessMode.com
Suggestions about how to deal with guilt are discussed in this episode. Do you feel your life would be better if you could drop guilt?
Do you find yourself feeling guilty much of the time? Could those feelings of guilt be holding you back? Let’s talk about guilt.
1/ A Genuine Mistake
When you've made a mistake, you may feel guilty.In this case, you have to think about what it means to be human. Do you expect yourself to be superhuman?
Do you believe when you make a mistake, it is not excusable? Thinking about it this way, you will realize that making mistakes is part of being human.
Consider how you can move forward and not make the same mistake again. Think briefly about what led to the mistake, but don’t overthink it.
When you have worked through the thought process, move on to the point where you can consciously decide to let go of the guilt and not entertain feelings of guilt about this issue anymore.
2/ When You've Done Nothing Wrong
If you determine that your guilt is unjustified, make a conscious, active effort to let go of it.
Avoid taking on other people’s guilt for them. It enables them to repeat their mistakes and causes you to suffer unnecessarily.
Conflict resolution skills can help you if you’re having trouble letting go. Keep listening to this episode, but remember to seek a knowledgeable conflict resolution coach. This can help you avoid internalizing guilt that isn’t yours.
When you meet with conflict, be more assertive and stand up for yourself. Don’t apologize when you don’t need to to end the conflict. Like I said earlier, make a conscious effort to let go of your guilt. Remember that letting go of the guilt is the way to move forward. In this episode, I will talk about the Sedona Method as a way to let go of the guilt if you’re having trouble.
Back in 2019, I interviewed Aaron Hunnel. The episode was about using mindfulness to let go of guilt and shame. You can listen by going to www.MindfulnessMode.com/191
3/ Guilt For Others
Some people feel guilty over the actions of others.
If you’ve figured out that your guilt is not justified, you can go ahead and do what you need to do to let go of that guilt.
Some people take on other people’s guilt. Doing this will keep you from feeling calm and relaxed because you have little or no control over other people's actions. Make up your mind to stop feeling guilty for others.
You're in the right place if you’re wondering exactly how to do that. You’ve identified this issue, so now you're much closer to letting it go.
Hold a pencil in your hand out in front of you. Look at the pencil. Decide to let it go. Decide to drop it. Then, drop it. Did the pencil fall, or are you still holding on to it? We can decide in an instant to drop the pencil. That is the same with guilt. You can decide to let go of it or to continue to grip onto it. That is the basis of the Sedona Method.
Summary
Today, I’ve touched on some aspects of guilt and how it can hold you back without realizing what’s happening. You can learn a lot more about how guilt holds you back. The best way to do this is to study your own thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. As I mentioned, journaling is one way to do this. Meditation is another way.
I strongly recommend meditation if you don’t already have a meditation prac

Sarah Cart, an author celebrated for her captivating life and death love story, intricately weaves a narrative laden with the tumultuous journey of her husband's debilitating illness. Her latest book, “On My Way Back To You,” offers insights into navigating unforeseen challenges with the help of mindfulness and meditation. Hailing from New York and New England, Sarah honed her craft while contributing to various local publications, all while raising four sons alongside her beloved husband, Ben, in northeastern Ohio. Transitioning into empty nesters, the couple embarked on a new chapter in the Florida Keys, punctuated by summers spent reconnecting with family in Pennsylvania. Amidst the upheaval of the COVID-19 pandemic, Sarah and Ben confronted added complexities in managing his health, striving to safeguard their marriage and sanity amidst adversity.






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Contact Info
Website: www.onmywaybacktoyou.com
Book: On My Way Back to You: One Couple's Journey through Catastrophic Illness to Healing and Hope by Sarah Cart and Glenn Plaskin
Most Influential Person
Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra
Emotions and Breathing
























Mindfulness helps me remember to breathe. I breathe out all the bad stuff, squeeze it out of my lungs as if my lungs are a sponge. All the bad stuff like the grief, anger, frustration, and overwhelm.


I try to remember to do it now when I'm awake in the middle of the night and something's bothering me.


I try to inhale all the good stuff like joy, comfort, grace, and grit, if that's what's needed. I inhale determination, strength, and confidence. Then I breathe out again whatever bad stuff is there, like fear and insecurity. Get rid of it, get rid of it, get rid of it.

Mindfulness To Succeed












































 You just have to take things one piece at a time. You need to break things down and say what needs to happen today.
If that's going to happen today, what's going to happen before lunch. And if that's going to happen before lunch, what do I need to be doing right now.
Pay attention to immediate details. A lot of fire fighting. Focus comes with the size of the fire, I guess.





















Suggested Resources
Book: Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brene Brown
Book: On My Way Back to You: One Couple's Journey through Catastrophic Illness to Healing and Hope by Sarah Cart and Glenn Plaskin
App: Oprah and Deepak Meditation App
Related Episodes
Fear Less To Cross The Bridge To Bliss; Colin Kingsmill
You Are Deathless; Nicole Angelique Kerr
Behind Death’s Door With Dr. Sebastian Sepulveda
Offer From Bruce
Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.