Untamed Perspectives Untamed Entrepreneurs

You wouldn’t water your weeds and wonder why they kept growing would you? No. So why do so many of us do the same with our limitations?

Audio Transcript:

You Wouldn’t Water Your Garden Weeds...Would You?

I like quotes, so I shall start with one.

“If you argue for your limitations you get to keep them. But if you argue for your possibilities you get to create them!” Kelly Lee Phipps

I have had a few chats recently with people who seem determined to hold on to the reasons why they CANNOT achieve something.

Who put so much attention on the OBSTACLES preventing them being the person they claim they wish to be.

The truth is, focusing on the negatives and only seeing limitations, takes just as much effort as seeing opportunities.

It’s the gardening equivalent of watering your weeds and wondering why they won’t go away!

Focusing our energy on our limitations, only serves to strengthen them. But if we exert the exact same energy on our opportunities, our limitations will slowly starve.

As with so many elements in our lives, we have a choice.

What’s it to be?

In this episode of Untamed Perspectives, we share Part III of Kate’s Untamed Coaching adventure. This week, she joins Jim in the snowy mountains of Bansko, Bulgaria to enjoy some snow shoeing, beer, laughter, deep work and a bruised nose...it’s worth a listen.

Audio Transcript:

Kate Wolfeden’s Untamed Coaching Adventure - Part Three

In part three of Kate Wolfenden’s Untamed coaching adventure, she joins me in the snowy mountains of Bansko, Bulgaria, to enjoy some snow shoeing, beer, laughter, deep work and a bruised nose...it’s worth a read.

3 – ADVENTURE WEEKENDING

Being a lady who lives for the outdoors and adventure, it is needless to say that I was just a little bit gutted I couldn’t get Jim’s Untamed Event ‘Island Immersion’ to work with my diary.

Never one to take the first hurdle as my fate - before I knew it, I had somewhat cheekily invited myself over to the Bankso Ski Resort, Bulgaria where Jim and his wife Kim were staying, for a weekend of adventure and 1:1 coaching.

I mean, I was looking forward to it, so hey, if all else fails that makes an impressive 50% popularity poll ;)

So one red eye flight, then a shuttle service into the mountains sat next to a cyber security expert to scare the bejesus out of me, and I was in the clean fresh air of a mountain ski resort.

Here for a weekend. With a guy I’ve never met. To share my deepest darkest secrets. Hmmm. Smart move, Kate ;)

Haha – No, it wasn’t like that at all. But I figured you might be thinking like that so I thought I’d out it ☺ It’s weird one isn’t it. To anyone who knows Jim they’ll know what I mean when I say you just feel totally comfortable with him. To those that don’t yet, trust me on this one – you will.

We met on the Saturday morning in an awesome little bar for a hearty breakfast, chatted about life, love and everything, before moving into the practical stuff.

The flow of the day was great actually. Chatting at a table about new concepts and ways of thinking, so that I was free to focus and write notes when I needed to - then pop off to get some snow shoes and hit the hills to help it all sink in.

The pace was great too. Quite a lot of what Jim shared seemed to swamp my brain at times. Not because it was particularly complex, but somehow it was challenging a deeper set of beliefs in me - so in some places I was facing an internal mental resistance and in others it was almost as if I’d just got the Christmas decs out and didn’t know where to begin to start untangling them, so that I could work out what’s broken and how to fix it.

The time together was effortless, unstructured but also very productive.

That being said, I do have to admit, I did let the…

What are we focusing on these next few days, Jim? What are we doing next and how does this all fit together?

…Gremlin out to play a couple of times at the beginning. Haha - Jim is so patient! Another “trust me” or two from him and I went with the flow and really appreciated that I did.

I don’t know about you, but if I learn something from a book or being told something, I may retain it if it is important to me, but invariably the majority of what I have learned will creep in one ear and out the other in a matter of days. The time on the slopes chatting, laughing and walking enabled us to embed the learnings into the realities of my life through conversation, applied examples, deep questioning from Jim and laughter. It really helped solidify the learnings.

Beer and cheesy chips also help too. Just saying ;)

If I met you one day, I’ll tell you why thanks to that Saturday night I now have a permanently slightly crooked nose (no one’s fault but my own and STONE sober, might I add), but for now let’s say, whiling away an evening with Jim and Kim was a beautiful and fun way to let the mind unwind.

As for Sunday, I didn’t know what to expect but felt complete peace with whatever we planned. I had got so much value out

Last week we heard Part One of Kate Wolfenden’s Untamed Coaching Adventure. She spoke of the initial doubts and assumptions that showed up when we started working together. In this Untamed Perspective episode, she takes us through Part Two.

Audio Transcript:

Last week we heard Part One of Kate Wolfenden’s Untamed Coaching Adventure. She spoke of the initial doubts that showed up when we started working together and how she chose to overcome them and fully committed to the process.

This week, she shares with us, the stories she was subconsciously telling herself and the power of meaning.

2 – LAYING THE FOUNDATIONS

So Jim and I got into a rhythm and started working. It was important for me to realise that the work didn’t start and stop on the calls as I had first imagined it might. The calls really were just a check in point. The real work happened between the calls. Either through the awareness brought about by our conversations, or more practically speaking, the work set between each call.

Two of the most powerful exercises in this time I thought might be worth mentioning here.

1. Recognising and taking responsibility for my inner critic, and

2. Rewriting stories.

Looking back now, it really must have been obvious to everybody but me quite how much of a strong grip my inner critic had on me. Half-way through our first call, Jim stopped me and said. Okay, so do you know you have put yourself down X times in the last 30 minutes? I honestly didn’t.

Well, actually, let me qualify that - maybe I did know what I was saying, but somehow, somewhere along I had made that okay.

I have to admit, it grated on me a little bit when we first started talking. Jim interrupting me all the time to correct my language.

I mean, I got it the first time, Jim. Do we really need to labour the point?

But, of course we did.

What Jim was really doing was shining a light on it. Soon it became crystal clear. Both the level of noise and the variety of self-criticisms. All of a sudden, it moved from the subconscious to the conscious. And that was a game changer.

And then from the awareness of how present it was in my life, we moved into the why. And we started that with definitions.

What did confidence really mean to me, anyway? And while we’re there – success, happiness, failure.

On and on we went.

Before long, it was easy to see how a simple thing like definitions and meanings of words, was compounding this suboptimal view of myself, deeper and deeper into my psyche every single day.

Sounds a bit bleak doesn’t it? Well it definitely did to me, too.

Well, thanks for that Jim. I know I’ve got an inner critic and I know she’s been around for years. Wonderful, we’ve now turned up the volume. What are we going to do next? Invite her round for tea? ;)

The beautiful news to me that Jim shared next, though, was that it was all reversible. It took me a fair bit of time to believe this, but as far as I can tell, with diligent effort, it’s true.

When we broke it down and looked at the ways I built this identity up in myself in the past, the tools that I had so handily crafted at the time for the work, actually conveniently doubled up as the self-same tools to get myself out of it. Used in a more conscious and positive way of course, but nevertheless the self-same tools.

As just two examples relevant to me – I had somehow connected confidence with arrogance and humility with a lovable self-deprecating typically British humour.

This had led me to a place where I would lead the way in putting myself down so others could feel comfortable in doing so too, as well as persistently turning down any opportunity to celebrate myself or any achievement I may have made – large or small - for fear of it being perceived as arrogance.

As you can imagine, neither of these connections were serving me well.

To tackle these behaviours we wrote out of the story of what they meant to me, and shone a light on ho

Kate Wolfenden is a founder, adventurer and social impact powerhouse, she was also an Untamed Coaching client. In this episode Ed shares part one of her serialised Untamed Coaching story. Hear how her journey towards reaching her potential, unfolded.

Audio Transcript:

Kate Wolfeden’s Untamed Coaching Adventure

Kate Wolfenden is a founder, adventurer and social impact powerhouse! She was also an Untamed Coaching client who went on quite the journey with me.

Her journey is one littered with doubt, false assumptions and fear. It’s also one of bravery and conviction.

Kate wanted to share this journey with you, in the hope of inspiring action, or at the very least, introspection.

Here is part one of her serialised Untamed Coaching story.

GETTING TO KNOW JIM by Kate Wolfenden

It’s a funny one isn’t it. I mean, I had known for years that it would be a good idea to ‘get a coach’. I’d seen transformations around me with my peers, and even gone so far as to congratulate and compliment them on their progress. But then some-how I still managed to de-prioritise it from my own life.

I’m too busy. It’s too expensive. I’m a well read and productive woman. What can they tell me I don’t already know? And anyway it’s less about what they are going to tell me, It’s about my own internal resistance and until I get a handle on that I can get what I need from a book.

But then came another fork in the road. One I didn’t see coming, but I could have done. In fact, I’d been subconsciously paving my way to it for the last five years.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad road, per se. It was just, in retrospect, a very predictable one - and having worked with Jim for 3 months now, I can safely say wasn’t the best road for me.

If only I’d had the awareness. I was thinking. I wonder if it would have gone differently. Would I have taken the same path? Would I have ended up here? Where is ‘here’ anyway? And while I’m at it, where do I even want to go next?

Classic mid-career questions, right? So easy to sweep under the table and convince myself that just because I thought about this kind of thing - a lot - that I was asking the right questions.

Then along came Jim.

I’d like to say I did myself proud and methodically interviewed a series of coaches, compared offerings, prices, and all the stuff I said I was going to do when I first responded to his message on Linked In. But I didn’t. True to form, I was ‘too busy’ doing other things – not prioritising me and my life.



It didn’t really make sense to be honest. He was a digital nomad championing the life of the untamed entrepreneur. I had literally just quit being an entrepreneur, definitely did not want to go back and I’d tried to be a digital nomad a couple of years back, but these days I was stuck between a rock and a hard place of craving a little cottage and a settled life in the country, at the same time as wanting to jack it all in and go live in a tent in the wild.

Why on earth would I want to work with Jim?

Well. Sometimes things just don’t make sense on the surface, do they? Especially with me, I can read myself into finely tuned, overly informed sense of conviction on almost anything. But with Jim? It just felt right.

He’s a very warm person. And kind too. And I think I needed a little bit of kindness at that point. I think I had it in my head, that a coach would have me dropping to the floor mid session to do 30 press ups, go to bed with a copy of Ferris’ 4 hour working week and wake up 3 hours later with O’Keefe’s First 100 days.

Jim wasn’t like that. In fact, perhaps to begin with - a little frustratingly so. I mean, I came to the table with all these expectations.

I have this problem, this problem and this problem – sooooo, these are the ones we are going to work on, right? Oh and while you’re at it, I’ve read the guide book. And I’m just not really sure it’s all that relevant to me. So ca

Do you feel you’re not living your best life? Are you afraid of changing course? In this episode we help you harness real fear, and use it to kick your arse into action!

Audio Transcript

As you might imagine, I talk to quite a lot of people who are not satisfied with how their life currently looks or feels.

Some of them resent the choices they have made and feel they have trapped themselves into a restrictive lifestyle with no way out.

Some feel guilty they have let their dreams fade over time, allowing ‘real life’ to take over.

Others were simply unaware that there was ‘another way’. That their wants in life, could outweigh their shoulds!

Whatever their route to get to this point, the important thing is deciding what to do next.

Accepting that up to now, you may not have been living your best life is important, but not enough.

Changing course and heading in the direction of your inspirations is where it gets tricky. At this stage in the journey, we encounter all kinds of resistances.

** A side note: These are the same resistances that stopped you in the first place, only now you are aware of them, and as a result they feel more powerful than ever.

These resistances are otherwise known as fear.

Fear that we’ve wasted a shit load of time and money getting to this point.

Fear that we may be judged for changing tack.

Fear of letting our parents down. Parents who are comfortable with our current path (don’t scoff at this one, you’ll be shocked how prevalent this is!)

Fear that we are not qualified to do what we REALLY want and will likely fail.

Fear that we don’t deserve to create an awesome life for ourselves.

Fear, fear, fear…

It’s Not Just You

Let me set the records straight, these fears are both rational (at least our brain thinks so), and common - but that doesn’t mean they are real.

My biggest fear was overcoming the harsh judgement I was DEFINITELY going to face, by choosing this path. It gnawed away at me for months and slowed me down unnecessarily.

However, this piece is not about how to avoid fears that aren’t even real. It’s about how to identify something you SHOULD be afraid of, and harness it to kick your arse into action!

Write Your Own Obituary

In order to do this, I would like you all to take the very morbid action of writing your own obituary. Not once, but twice.

Your first obituary should be based on your current life trajectory.

Fast forward to the point where you’re pushing up the daisies and imagine what you’re obituary would contain.

Now write a second obituary, summarising your life assuming you pursued all your dreams and reached your potential.

Go on, do it. I dare you.

Did you do it? How did your first obituary make you feel? Proud? Sad? Resentful?

If you’re not content with the current state of your life, I hope this exercise has helped you see the difference between what you should and shouldn’t be afraid of!

What action can you take right now, to avoid ending up with obituary one, and finding your playground?

As always, let us know what you came up with and how we can help!

Where do you look when things aren’t going right? In this brief episode, courtesy of a simple quote, we challenge your thinking on how to go about living a happier life.

Audio Transcript:

What To Blame When Shit’s Going Wrong

This week I am sharing a quote that seems so simple, it’s easy to miss its significance.

But ignore its meaning at your peril.

"You think you have a reality problem when in reality you have a thinking problem" Michael Neill.

Where do you look when things aren’t going right?

Do you look inwards or outwards?

How much emphasis do you place on your circumstances and surroundings, for your happiness and success?

Do you find yourself saying “yes, but once I have blank, I will be happy!”

If any of these sound familiar, read this quote again and try to imagine what life may feel like if you took responsibility for your THOUGHTS rather than blaming your REALITY.