You Can Tell Us You Can Tell Us

From skincare to mindfulness apps, the market for self-care products and services has exploded, reflecting a cultural shift towards prioritising personal well-being. Yet amidst the allure of trendy self-care, there is a growing importance of authentic self-care practices that go beyond superficial trends and address individual needs.

In this week's episode, Raya (biomedicine graduate working in public health) and Saba (psychology graduate) discuss this important topic through shared personal experiences and acquired knowledge on the subject.

(00:00) - Introduction
(01:00) - What is Self-care?
(02:00) - Self-care looks different for everybody
(03:30) - Self-care doesn't need to done alone
(04:11) - Self-care needs to a priority
(06:20) - Self-care may take different forms
(07:10) - Mundane tasks can be therapeutic
(08:50) - To be your best self, self-care is a necessity
(09:30) - Self-care can give you a sense of fullfilment
(11:00) - Self-care won't change your life in one day - consistency is key
(12:40) - Seeking help when needed is a form of self-care
(14:00) - Self-care might look different in different phases of life for a single person as it might for different people
(21:00) - If constant exposure to something is affacting your mental health, its important to take a break
(22:00) - The current global situation is anything but ideal, and it's all confoundingly distressing
(23:00) - Pririotising yourself is not selfish
(23:40) - Feeling guilty and low about things out of your control is normal - it just means you are human
(25:00) - You can't pour from an empty glass
(27:00) - Using 'self-care' for selfish reasons isn't self-care
(30:00) - Summarising and wrapping up

Trigger Warning: freuquent mentions of Self harm/Self injury

March is globally observed as self-harm awareness month. For this reason, we have dedicated this week's episode to this cause. The purpose of dedicating a month to self-harm awareness is to emphasize its prevalence within society, create awareness about it, and provide support to those who struggle with it. 

In this episode, Leen (trainee clinical psychologist) and Saba (psychology graduate) discuss what entails self-harm or self-injury, the reasons leading up to this, some ways self-harm can show up, how to recognize it, how to seek and offer help. This episode highlights the importance of normalising such difficult conversations as a means to reach out to people suffering silently wthout receiving the care that they need, hushed by the judgment of society.

(00:47) - Trigger Warning: Frequent mentions of self-harm
(01:45) - What is self-harm
(02:18) - Myth: Everyone who self-harms wants to die
(03:01) - Correlation between MH disorders and self-harm
(03:50) - Why do people self-harm
(07:50) - A desire to get rid of emotions and emotional distress
(08:25) - Trying to get rid of emotions usually cause the emotions to become stronger
(09:36) - Risky coping mechanism
(10:18) - How others can help when someone they love self-harms: difficult to understand the intensity of emotional distress
(11:12) - Subjectivity of emotions as individuals
(12:45) - How you react to someone you love self-harming
(13:50) - Stigma motivates hiding self-harm
(14:21) - How should we react: coming from a place of understanding and spotting patterns
(16:11) - People who self-harm don’t want to be self-harming
(16:48) - Finding the right time to talk about
(17:27) - Being curious and non-judgemental
(18:25) - Be on the lookout for difficult things happening in a loved one’s life
(19:05) - Being non-judgemental of one’s owns feelings if you have self-harm habits/urges
(20:29) - Acknowledging the urge to self-harm as a feeling
(22:10) - Recognizing your own strength, and not running away from your own emotions through self-harm
(23:16) - Listing alternative coping methods as a replacement
(24:35) - Making spaces that you are in safer by removing access to methods of self-harm
(25:27) - Seeking professional help
(26:00) - Normalize going to therapy before things get unbearable
(28:00) - You don’t need to see evidence of self-harm to be there for people you love
(29:02) - The importance of a support system
(29:30) - Becoming open to emotions and their functions
(30:21) - Final thoughts

In this week's episode, Raya and Saba talked about procrastination, a topic that a lot of us can relate to at some level. Even though the term procrastination is casually thrown around a lot in today's conversations, it is an action with many devastating consequences. 

This episode covers prominent reasons why we procrastinate, why procrastination is so hard to stop, and some effective methods to combat it.



Our podcast is available on Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, and Spotify.



(00:19) - Introduction

(00:50) - What is procrastination?

(01:40) - Root causes of procrastination

(03:40) - What does procrastination leads to..?

(04:30) - Result of procrastination can itself be reinforcing it

(07:47) - Procrastination can lead to a vicious cycle that's hard to escape from

(08:16) - Effects of procrastination can be different for different people

(08:30) - More on the reasons behind procrastination

(12:17) - In hindsight things could be very different from reality

(13:40) - Procrastination can give a false sense gratification or relief

(14:38) - Procrastination is an easy decision to make

(15:18) - Using 'mental health breaks"/"self-care" as an excuse to procrastinate

(15:50) - It can be very hard to escape the cycle of procrastination

(16:40) - Personality can be a contributing factor

(17:53) - Symptoms of some mental health conditions can be almost indistinguishable from procrastination

(18:40) - Seek help if it's affecting functioning

(21:10) - ways to work around procrastination

(25:00) - discipline and creating habits

(28:30) - giving yourself space and time to procrastinate

(30:00) - being mindful of your actions and progress

(31:35) - being kind to yourself

(33:00) - wrap up and final thoughts

Joined by Leen (trainee clinical psychologist) and Mikhail (assistant clinical psychologist, in tonight’s episode Raya shoots some important questions and concerns that people have about beginning therapy.



From what to expect from a first session to what different ways of ending therapy look like, we share from our own experiences as clients and service providers. Our aim was to de-mystify therapy (as much as time allowed) and hopefully, to lend a light to those toeing the line of seeking help.



(00:38) - What would you do first to make a therapy appointment



(03:20) - Which path would you recommend- psychiatrist route or directly to psychologist



(06:06) - Realities of therapy in public hospital



(08:09) - General doctors referring you to psychologists (MH being in primary care)



(10:50) - Manifestation of emotional pain as physical pain



(12:25) - What can a person expect from their first session

(Similar to going to the gym)



(14:19) - Intro to a CBT based group session



(16:55) - Setting up expectation for the client as a therapist



(19:07) - Therapy is not the equivalent of a doctor’s appointment



(21:10) - Don’t give up on therapy because of a bad experience; shop for a therapist that is a better fit



(23:00) - Normalizing therapists’ strengths and weaknesses



(25:27) - Does therapy have homework?



(35:18) - Is there a way to finish therapy or complete it?



(36:10) - Therapy may not end ideally for many people



(36:30) - If a decision is made to terminate therapy, there would be a final discussion with the therapist



(37:00) - Sometimes you may naturally feel satisfied about ending therapy



(37:25) - Restarting therapy



(38:30) - Therapy and lack of personal growth



(39:32) - Your goals for therapy may change overtime while in therapy



(40:37) - Both stagnancy and change during therapy can lead to self development



42:28 - End of conversation and final reflections

Trigger Warning; frequent mentions of suicide



“There is no time limit on grief.”



In our second episode of You Can Tell Us, Saba and Rifoo discuss the aftermath of a suicide in society.



Looking at the emotions of deep grief, shame, and even guilt on the part of the victim’s loved ones, and how reactions from society may influence those emotions, Saba and Rifoo reflect on how we can be present for those who are hurting.



They also dive into preventative measures that we can be taking on an individual level and a policy level.



Timestamps:

(00:00) - Introduction

(02:00) - Parental impact on children passing away by suicide

(02:53) - Family roles and understanding aftermath

(04:34) - Blaming, shaming, and guilt

(05:20) - Understanding grief

(08:40) - Coping mechanisms for grief

(12:20) - Society’s take on aftermath

(13:07) - Community’s role in providing support to the victim’s family

(14:40) - Suicide prevention as individuals

(17:55) - Suicide prevention on a policy/community level

(18:30) - Self care as a prevention strategy

(19:00) - Mental health disorders and the correlation with risk of suicide

(20:45) - Knowing the warning signs

(24:00) - Policy level framework for further awareness

(28:00) - Media handling of suicide reporting

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them” – James A. Baldwin

As adults who interact with children at some level or another, we all bear a responsibility to nurture them to be good human beings. Kindness, as we all can agree, is at the heart of being a good human.

In this episode, Saba and Raya discussed the importance of modeling kindness and tolerance for impressionable young minds that soak up everything they witness around them like a sponge in water. We delve into psychosocial concepts that explain why modeling is so vital for children and how we can incorporate good modeling behaviors into our lifestyles.

(00:00) - Introduction

(01:30) - What is kindness and its associated characteristics?

(02:50) - Thinking at the level of the kids

(04:00) - Why modeling is so important?

(04:40) - World/self-view formed during childhood is mostly stable across the lifespan

(05:02) - Nature Vs Nurture

(06:00) - Children copy everything

(07:50) – Practice what you preach

(09:00) – It is important to give children space to feel

(11:50) – Do not command children but rather explain

(13:00) – Habits/lifestyles are formed with time

(14:40) – Anger is a natural emotion

(15:20) – Things kids can practice to control their emotions

(17:11) – Get professional help when needed

(17:40) – What happens when a child grows up without a proper role model

(19:30) – The consequences extend to all aspects of life

(21:40) – It's hard to change our preconceived beliefs

(23:30) – What can we do to foster kindness

(25:50) – Media influences behavior

(31:08) – To change the system, young minds need to be nurtured

(31:50) – Teach kids about control

(33:30) – Make learning fun

(34:00) – Importance of reinforcement

(37:20) – Kindness doesn’t mean saying yes to everyone/everything

(39:16) – What is misguided kindness?

(43:14) – Wrapping up