22 episodes

Steph Douglas - Founder and CEO of Don’t Buy Her Flowers - chats frankly with a guest about LIFE and staring down the ‘rush hour’ that many of us feel we’re living in. The day to day overwhelm, juggling careers, relationships and families, parenthood, not looking like a dog’s dinner, the expectations and the big, tough bits that come with being a grown up.
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The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast Steph Douglas

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.9 • 115 Ratings

Steph Douglas - Founder and CEO of Don’t Buy Her Flowers - chats frankly with a guest about LIFE and staring down the ‘rush hour’ that many of us feel we’re living in. The day to day overwhelm, juggling careers, relationships and families, parenthood, not looking like a dog’s dinner, the expectations and the big, tough bits that come with being a grown up.
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    This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matt Fray

    This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matt Fray

    Steph talks with Matthew Fray, a relationship coach and author of ‘This is How your Marriage Ends: A hopeful approach to saving relationships ’. After his own experience of divorce, and after some soul searching, Matt had a kind of reckoning where he realised that how he had behaved in the marriage – mostly the every day little things that cause the same rows – had over time eroded trust, which led his wife to leave. Matt has used this to look at how men behave in relationships, primarily in romantic relationships with women.  
     
    Steph and Matt discuss Matt’s ‘Invalidation Triple Threat’ Theory, as well as how male identity and masculinity impacts how men behave in relationships - often unintentionally - and how consideration is something that women do so much more than men but is essential to a healthy relationship.  
     
    Matt’s book ‘This is How Your Marriage Ends’ Matt’s website and Instagram Matt’s Article ‘She Divorced me Because I left Dishes by the Sink’Matt on the Mark Groves Podcast
    Steph’s Instagram
    Thoughtful GIfts from Don’t Buy Her Flowers
    Contact Steph podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com 

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    • 50 min
    Sex in Long Term Relationships with Dr Karen Gurney

    Sex in Long Term Relationships with Dr Karen Gurney

    Dr Karen Gurney AKA The Sex Doctor is on a mission to help us understand how desire works, particularly in women, because it is NOT the spontaneous desire that we see in the movies. In fact, she says ‘It is normal to never feel like sex, out of the blue, ever, in a long term relationship’.
    As well as female desire, Steph and Karen discuss how sex changes from those exciting early flushes at the start of a relationship, the impact of having children and the mental load, talking to kids about sex, and how we can future-proof our sex life, including through increasing ‘Sexual Currency’.
    Dr Karen also answers listener questions, about sex after having a baby, infidelity, not feeling attracted to your partner and never feeling like sex, even though it’s always good ‘once we’re doing it’.

    Karen’s book Mind the Gap and Online Courses 
    Karen’s TedX Talk ‘The Surprising Truth About Desire’ 
    Karen’s TedX Talk ‘The Power of Orgasms to Address Gender Equality’ 
    Karen’s Instagram
    Steph’s Instagram 
    Sex is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth – book for kids 
    State of Affairs by Esther Perel 
    Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers 
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    • 1 hr 10 min
    Maternal Mental Health with Dr Caroline Boyd

    Maternal Mental Health with Dr Caroline Boyd

    During Maternal Mental Health Week, Steph talks with Clinical Psychologist Dr Caroline Boyd about how challenging that first year can be, including feelings of isolation and rage, and feeling disconnected from a partner. They also talk about the Supermum Myth, parenting perfectly and how an expectation of motherhood coming ‘naturally’ impacts hard when it doesn’t.  
    Caroline explains why new mums might feel all these emotions, and shares evidence-based psychological ideas to help new mums cope. 
    For anyone experiencing feelings of overwhelm and rage a lot, Caroline recommends speaking to a supportive friend and a trusted health professional, such as a GP 
     
    Caroline’s book Mindful New Mum, a mind-body approach to the first year of motherhood and is also available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages
     
    Caroline’s Instagram
     
    Steph’s article ‘When New Mums Get Angry’
     
    Steph’s Instagram

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    • 51 min
    Let’s talk about dying, with Anna Lyons and Louise Winter

    Let’s talk about dying, with Anna Lyons and Louise Winter

    As an End of Life Doula and a Funeral Director, Anna Lyons and Louise Winter have more experience of death and dying than most. They talk with Steph about why it is their mission to get people talking more about the inevitable, and share what they’ve learned through their work about life and living.
     
    Steph talks with Anna and Louise about why their message is important and reframing death, how we prepare for parents dying, talking to children and showing up for someone who has been bereaved.
     
    Anna and Louise’s book ‘We All Know How This Ends’, is also available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages from 26th May.
     
    Life. Death. Whatever. and their Instagram
     
    Steph’s Instagram 
     
    Thoughtful gifts Don’t Buy Her Flowers

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    • 40 min
    Kate Lawler on The First Year with a Baby

    Kate Lawler on The First Year with a Baby

    The Don’t Buy Her Flowers Podcast returns for season three with Kate Lawler - DJ, broadcaster, Big Brother 2002 winner and hugely honest author in her recently published book Maybe Baby.
     
    Steph spoke to Kate during what was a crazy week of book promo as well as her partner Boj getting Covid, which meant that as well as being crazy busy, their usual support network couldn’t help. Kate ended up in hospital and they talk about finding the juggle impossible, which has lead to Kate quitting her Virgin Radio job to try and find a better balance and spend more time with her daughter. She describes seeing happiness just in front of her, if she could just stay on top of work, her relationship, being a parent, seeing friends, getting to the gym… and all the things we classically know to contribute to the madness of the Rush Hour we talk about on this podcast.
     
    As well as The Juggle, Steph and Kate discuss the Postnatal Depression Kate describes in her book, getting help after having a baby and the impact on her relationship as well as why they’re not fans of holidays with kids and friends. 
     
    Kate’s Instagram
     
    Maybe Baby: On the Mother Side by Kate Lawler
     
    Kate and Boj’s Maybe Baby podcast
     
    Steph’s Instagram
     
    If you’re looking for thoughtful gifts, try Don’t Buy Her Flowers
     
    Contact us podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
     

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    • 1 hr 2 min
    Adoption and Motherhood with Em Smyth

    Adoption and Motherhood with Em Smyth

    Em Smyth went into the Pandemic with no children and is living and breathing the Rush Hour, as less than two years later she has two kids under two and a half. Em is keen to address the misinformation that seems to be rife around adoption, talking Steph through the adoption process (top tip: don’t joke about worrying your kid will become a serial killer when you’re being vetted to become adoptive parents).
     
    Steph and Em discuss mother’s guilt, which Em says can feel even more intense when you’ve adopted as the parent can feel they need to do even more to make life ‘good’ for their child. Em talks with Steph about wishing people didn’t do a head tilt and say ‘aren’t you doing a wonderful thing, you must be a really special person’. She says it’s not a romantic concept or a moral manoeuvre - she is their parent, this was her route to becoming a mum (and sometimes they’re hard work, like all children).
     
    Steph and Em also talk about feeling isolated and incapable in those early months, heightened by doing it in a pandemic, how different holidays feel, and feeling like she lost her sense of style when she became a mum. As a plus-size model, Em has gone on a journey with her body, and also talks with Steph about aiming for body neutrality.
     
    Em’s Instagram 
     
    For more information on adoption, go to Adoption UK or contact your local authority
     
    Steph’s Instagram 
     
    Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers 

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    • 53 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
115 Ratings

115 Ratings

Katohough ,

Thank you Steph!

This Podcast is literally singing to me…talking about the exact things going on in so many peoples lives, and helping us see it’s so normal and what we can do to make the smallest of changes, that will have huge impacts. Just so relatable.
Thank you SO much Steph and the team, please keep making them, you’re awesome xxx

SP-G1980 ,

Love this series!

So many great topics and love Steph as a host 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Mariea22 ,

Great, relatable podcast.

Love this podcast, I find the subjects all very interesting and definitely learn a thing or two along the way!

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