Her Son Has an Addiction, What Do I Say?

What is it like to walk alongside your 13 year old son while he battles addiction and recovery? This is Part 1 of a two part series where Jessica McCurdy shares her deeply raw and authentic story of loving her now 20 year old son, Camron through some incredibly dark times. My Guest: Jessica McCurdy Jessica is a growth seeking, passionate, highly motivated, people person, unmarried, faith-filled, encourager, and mostly single mom. She spends her days working as an office manager at a physical therapy clinic, and just recently returned to community college part time to study Alcohol & Drug Counseling. She is active in her church, attends all the women’s faith events she can, volunteers with sober girls in recovery, exercises regularly, runs, hikes with her rescue pitbull, and enjoys quality time with her best girlfriends. SHOW NOTES The Weed Scare & How It All Began

• 23:20 His first attempt to buy it
• 26:20 Their move to different area of town Freshman year – Revealed he had tried weed in his best friend’s parents’ garage (the dad’s medical marijuana)
• 33:08 Sophomore year his grades went down and he started skipping school and lying about it
• 34:00 He runs away to use with a bunch of friends

11 Days of Using

• 36:00 How she discovers he has run away
• 37:30 She makes the police report – had to remember what he was wearing
• 38:40 Camron calls and tells her he’s not coming home – the feeling of anger, terror, and powerlessness - the was the beginning of getting used to this feeling of powerlessness
• 41:00 Everyday he would call to check in
• 41:48 Her daily routine for the next 11 days to find him
• 41:27 Always check your kids phones & be in touch with your kid's friends' parents
• 43:48 This is when shame settled in – questioning her own parenting- “What kind of a home do you have that your kid is running away?"
• 45:55 Kathleen: Isn't this a part of parenting? Don't we all tend to see our kids’ behavior as a reflection of our parenting? Any yet we don’t know what’s going on the inside of each other’s homes. It may not have anything to do with our parenting.
• 49:00 More of her shame – this is why parents don’t get help – they go through it alone
• 50:00 Codependency/enabling settles in here – “We are one.” - what he does is a direct reflection of me.
• 51:15 Her healing with Camron to become intra-dependent – Your actions do not change how I am feeling. -You can feel empathy for them but it's not like your whole day will be ruined by their actions
• 52:55 How she figures out he’s using while gone – her Private Investigating work
• 54:50  She was only 6 hours behind him at one point
• 56:04 When you accept the addiction, you get power back – there is a solution for addiction, not a cure
• 57:20 Camron's drug of choice : “more” - what an addict ends with is often not what he started with; it doesn't matter what it is.

The Next Step - Treatment

• 59:13: She researches treatment centers
• 1:00:50 She calls all the treatment centers – there is not a lot of help in Oregon (Oregon is the 4th worst in access to treatment)
• 1:02:31 He is finally found by the police
• 1:04:08 She picks him up and he seems sad – she starts to grieve because he is gone, his eyes are vacant- she went into action mode
• 1:05:10 Her plan – ultimatum “go on your own, or someone will take you to the rehab clinic”
• 1:06:10 the “transporters” come into the backyard – he says, “You’re not my mom anymore” Called his dad by his first name. – Another defining moment of shame again, “I can’t believe I'm doing this to my son.”
• 1:08:05 Kathleen: "My mama’s heart is breaking because