Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey
Black Girls Heal

Black Girls Heal helps women break out of cycles of unhealthy relationships with unavailable partners and feeling not enough by combining coaching, therapeutic support, and practical tools. Every episode, we will talk about intimacy, attachment, healing unresolved trauma, and growing in our self worth.

  1. 21 HR AGO

    #268: 4 Reasons to Be Proud of Yourself

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're taking a moment to celebrate YOU. Yes, you! We're shifting away from our usual conversations about red flags and relationship challenges to focus on something equally important - acknowledging just how far you've come in your healing journey. You know those moments when you catch a red flag early? When you trust your gut instead of second-guessing yourself? When you look in the mirror and actually like who you see? Those aren't small wins - they're evidence of your incredible growth, and it's time we celebrate them! Through personal stories and real-life examples, we're diving into the beautiful transformation that happens when we start recognizing our own progress. From being able to spot those red flags quicker (instead of six months down the line!), to actually trusting ourselves more than other people's opinions, to developing that genuine self-love that isn't dependent on anyone else's validation - these are all victories worth celebrating. This conversation isn't just about patting ourselves on the back - it's about acknowledging that every step forward in our healing journey matters. Whether you're just starting out or you're well along your path, there's something powerful about stopping to recognize how far you've come. In this episode, we cover… 02:47 Why you should recognize your growth03:31 Embracing your wisdom05:13 How to navigate life's challenges06:30 Understanding self-knowledge08:26 How to build self-love09:42 Having faith beyond relationships19:22 The power of self-liking Resources mentioned in the episode: Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us: Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    34 min
  2. 5 NOV

    #267: 3 Ways to Cope When They Don't Care

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're getting real about something that hits deep - what do you do when someone just stops showing up for you emotionally? You know that feeling when their energy shifts, the care fades, and you're left wondering what happened? After seeing so many TikTok conversations about love avoidance and no contact, I knew it was time to dive into this topic heart-first. Because let's be honest - whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or even family, that emotional withdrawal hits different when it comes from someone you truly care about. This isn't just another "move on" conversation. We're getting into the nitty-gritty of how to hold onto your worth when someone's actions (or lack thereof) have you questioning everything. I'm sharing three powerful strategies that have helped not just my clients, but myself too, in navigating these tough waters. In this episode, we cover… 04:31 When you grieve the fantasy of relationships06:35 Your coping toolkit08:52 Coping Strategy 115:57 Coping Strategy 221:46 Coping Strategy 335:41 The No-Contact Strategy Resources mentioned in the episode: Listen to Episode 266: 7 Benefits of Taking it Slow in a RelationshipListen to Episode 137: 4 Ways to Exit Love DeprivationGet your 90-Day No-Contact KitReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us: Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    39 min
  3. 29 OCT

    #266: 7 Benefits of Taking it Slow in a Relationship

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we dive into the seven benefits of taking it slow in a relationship — the power of a 'slow burn.'  I discuss the reasons behind why rushing into relationships can be problematic, especially for love addicts, and share practical tips on how to pace relationships effectively.  I also explore how going slow helps in truly understanding your partner, avoiding unhealthy attachments, and building a stronger foundation for your love story.  This episode is perfect for hopeless romantics who want to avoid 'struggle love' and genuinely find a fulfilling relationship. In this episode, we cover… 00:17 Understanding love addiction and avoidance2:55 Seven benefits of going slow in relationships28:36 The impact of sex and affection34:40 Self-love and building a fulfilling life Resources mentioned in the episode: Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENT.Enroll in Dating 101 for Love Addicts if you are ready to choose the RIGHT ones to love without losing yourself.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us: Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    48 min
  4. 17 OCT

    #264: “Am I Quitting?” and the Future of Black Girls Heal

    In this episode, I talk about why I'm quitting and what's coming next for Black Girls Heal! Resources mentioned in the episode: Register for the BGH Lover Girl's Weekend Workshop on Saturday,, February 8, 2025 at blackgirlsheal.org/eventsReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENTBook a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us: Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    40 min
  5. 1 OCT

    #263: Checking the Facts When You're in Conflict

    In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we explore the importance of checking the facts when feeling threatened, especially for those healing from trauma.  We discuss how trauma can heighten our threat response, making it difficult to discern real threats from perceived ones. The episode delves into the skill of 'checking the facts,' a concept derived from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), outlining practical steps to take for regulating emotions and improving conflict resolution.  My personal stories and examples highlight the nuances of threat perception, emotional regulation, and the impact of trauma on relationships.  We also tackle the challenge of making amends if you realize you've misunderstood a situation or person.  Tune in for essential tips on fostering better personal relationships and self-awareness. In this episode, we cover… 01:06 Understanding trauma and threat response02:55 The skill of “Checking the Facts”04:20 Dialectical Behavior Therapy Explained07:03 Personal reflections on trauma responses18:42 Steps to check the facts30:17 Why you should challenge your assumptions44:36 How to make amends with healthy and available people Resources mentioned in the episode: Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us: Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    51 min
  6. 25 SEPT

    #262: What To Do When You Feel Rejected

    In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the poignant topic of rejection, inspired by heartfelt conversations from my recent cruise trip. Focusing on love addiction, I discuss the fear of abandonment and the insecurities it breeds.  Together, we explore how to cope with rejection, understand its impact, and reclaim our power. You'll learn about the importance of not internalizing rejection, viewing it as a reflection of the other person's issues, and embracing your true self.  Join me as we unravel the layers of rejection and discover ways to heal and grow. In this episode, we cover… 02:29 How to cope with rejection05:23 Examples of rejection07:23 Dealing with rejection14:39 Why you should embrace your true self22:01 Avoiding relationship pitfalls Resources mentioned in the episode: Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us: Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    35 min
  7. 17 SEPT

    #261: The Importance of Pacing While Dating + Checking In

    In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into a major milestone — our very first video podcast episode! After years of audio-only recordings, I am showing up in video to connect with you more intimately.  I start with a heartfelt check-in, sharing my personal experiences of transitions and the collective 'hell' many of us have gone through recently in various aspects of our lives.  Today's episode is all about understanding the importance of pacing in dating for love addicts, discussing how unresolved traumas, father wounds, and touch starvation can lead us to rush into relationships. Learn practical steps on how to pace yourself, maintain your identity, and find joy in your current life while still holding space for the love you desire.  Plus, get updates on the new format of the Recovery School and upcoming changes in my services. This episode is packed with insights and actionable advice to help you on your journey to healing and self-love. In this episode, we cover… 04:09 Navigating personal transitions06:05 Why you should embrace the unknown13:22 Healthy Love vs. Love Addiction19:14 The importance of pacing in relationships30:06 Leveling up in healing32:22 How unresolved father wounds affect pacing in relationships39:09 What is touch starvation?47:30 How to ground in your own life54:20 Upcoming changes and announcements to Black Girls Heal Resources mentioned in the episode: Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us: Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    1h 1m

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About

Black Girls Heal helps women break out of cycles of unhealthy relationships with unavailable partners and feeling not enough by combining coaching, therapeutic support, and practical tools. Every episode, we will talk about intimacy, attachment, healing unresolved trauma, and growing in our self worth.

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