Varinka Poetry Nisha V Chettri

There was a time when the glooms of loss draped my days like a heavy curtain of bygones pulling me back to the memories of a love that no longer served. I know, each morning was a hesitant awakening, and April’s cold was more like a reminder of absence. Absence of somebody, absence of love.
But the heart, like the seasons, it knows how to heal.

Slowly, the sun began to rise differently, it started throwing new light through the windows of my soul and it illuminated the corners I had once forgotten that it even existed.
I started to see the beauty in the mundane more mindfully,
the way the wind creased the leaves, or the hushed ballet of dust flicking in a sunbeam… it only warms my heart now. And these little moments, once left unnoticed, became small celebrations of my life.

I rediscovered laughter, a sound that had once appeared unfamiliar, it now bubbles up unexpectedly in the company of my friends. Their voices are warm and inviting and fill the spaces left empty by GOODBYES.

With time, I learned to cherish the lessons of lost love. I embraced the wisdom it had to teach me. The pain, which once was a steady companion, became a faraway echo, and it only reminds me of my resilience. I stood taller and kept taking deeper breaths knowing that I was capable of moving forward…of building something new…Of building something more beautiful.

The past is a story I tell with gentle reverence, but it no longer defines my present. I am here, in the now, with a heart open to possibilities. I am not embarrassed to say that.
The world is vast and it is filled with promises, it only awaits my exploration. I step into it with a lightness I had forgotten it could feel, I am ready to write the next chapter of my life: maybe we can call it
SEASON 4: EPISODE 1- of joy, love, and laughter.

It's a new day, a new day as in a new season. and I am whole again, not because I have forgotten, but because I have learned to cherish the strength within. Moving on is not erasing what we experienced in the past but it is an evolution, more like a testament to the enduring spirit of the heart. And as I walk forward, I carry with me the best parts of the lessons and wisdom I learnt from my past.

I am just myself again. I am still learning to laugh and learning to love.

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Phyl Kay said ‘if you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning,
You watch the sunset too often it just becomes 6 pm, you make the same mistake over and over again, you stop calling it a mistake.’

Then,
I tried reading your messages repeatedly until their meaning was lost between the words left unwritten.
I started walking the trails of Orange Village every morning, and now it is just another trail that leads to somebody’s destination.
I, time and again, listened to the songs you sent earlier that once reminded me of our love, and now it is just another song by an amazing artist.
I scribbled poems about you over and over again, until it meant it was just a great composition to my readers.
I revisited the memories we made over and over, but now I don't even remember your face accurately.
I re-imagined us as belonging to each other so many times and see, it's nothing. It means nothin… it meant nothing.
I whispered ‘I love you’ a great deal of times, without you being on the receiving end, for a month and more, and see, nothing. it is valueless.

Phyl Kay said ‘if you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning.’
But
I only wish you said ‘If you do something over and over again, it will only renew every essence of living and loving all over again.’

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. No, I am not into backpacking.
At least, I am not into exploring the world with a half-lover-half-friend-half-something-half-nothing.
I mean, who are you?
I am not into travelling to the interior of confusion.
I just terminate the journey that isn't worth taking.

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Season 3 of Varinka Poetry is here! Get ready for an unusual blend of prose snippets and storytelling, a departure from Varinka's usual poetry. Love, V.

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Maybe I told you I love you by leaving the notebook by your office space
And maybe you told me that you love me by whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
Maybe, I told you I love you in the silence we both have created
And maybe you told me that you love me by making calls and speaking endlessly.
Maybe I told you I love you with tears when you were departing to a different place.
And maybe you told me that you love me by making a brief visit just to take a glimpse of me.
Maybe I told you I love you when I was angry at you for not understanding what I meant.
And maybe you told me that you love me when you kept asking me if I was okay when I was not.

We both had a different love language.
I could not understand yours
And you could not be fluent in mine.

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As you await your entrance into this vast world, there is something I want you to know. Life, my sweet child, is a beautiful yet difficult journey filled with twists and turns, highs and lows.

I want you to know that, LOVE, though it is the most wonderful feeling in the world, can sometimes be tricky. It can come wearing a disguise, fooling even the wisest of souls. So, my darling, tread carefully, guard your heart, and never settle for anything less than genuine love and respect.

But if, by chance, you find yourself tangled in the thorns of heartbreak, remember, you are never alone. I, your mother, the woman who carried you, will always be there for you. I will be your rock, your safe haven who will always be ready to listen to your worries, wipe away your tears, and offer guidance through the storms of life.

So, my precious one, don't hesitate to confide in me. Pour out your heart, and share your fears.

And as you prepare to undertake this grand adventure called life, know that you are cherished beyond measure. May you always find comfort in love, strength in resilience, and ease in the arms of your mother.

With all my love and hopes for your bright future.

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