Waking Up to Narcissism

The Virtual Couch Network
  • 5.0 (2)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY
Waking Up to Narcissism

"Waking Up to Narcissism" is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning Virtual Couch podcast, dedicated to helping individuals recognize and navigate narcissistic traits and tendencies in their relationships and within themselves. With a focus on emotional immaturity versus narcissism, Tony provides tools and guidance for personal growth and managing relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals, even if that individual is you!

  1. 2 MAR

    Healing by a Thousand Stitches - Growth Through Narcissistic or Emotionally Immature Relationships

    In this episode of The Virtual Couch Presents: Waking Up to Narcissism, host Tony Overbay explores the transformative journey of healing from relationships with emotionally immature or narcissistic partners. With the popularity of the 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' series, Tony introduces a new perspective—'Growth by a Thousand Stitches.' The episode features real stories from listeners who have found strength and self-worth through small, impactful victories. Tony delves into various categories such as reclaiming simple joys, embracing self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and rediscovering personal identity. This episode is filled with hope, tangible steps towards healing, and inspiring testimonials that underscore the power of self-love and personal growth. Subscribe, share, and join Tony and his community on this journey of healing and transformation.00:00 Introduction and Welcome01:21 The Impact of 'Death by a Thousand Cuts'05:08 Understanding Switzerland Friends09:15 The Healing Journey Begins14:51 Reclaiming Simple Joys16:57 Physical and Emotional Self-Care18:52 Creating Safe Spaces20:44 Building New Relationships21:55 The Power of Boundaries23:31 Rediscovering Identity24:19 Finding Joy in Forbidden Activities26:12 Embracing Imperfection27:14 Processing Emotions28:57 Creating New Traditions29:30 Building Self-Trust32:32 Learning to Take Up Space33:26 Embracing Spiritual and Personal Growth33:55 Finding Strength in Community35:27 Creating New Measures of Success36:17 Embracing Self-Care Without Guilt38:57 Setting Healthy Boundaries40:01 Finding Joy in the Present40:27 Conclusion: The Journey of HealingIf you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.comIf you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com

    43 min

  2. 12 FEB

    The Evolutionary Superpower of Highly Sensitive People: How HSP Differs from Autism (and Does it Matter?)

    Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive' or that you need to ‘get over it,’ or ‘don’t worry about it,’ but that only causes you to worry more, or feel less connected to others, or even yourself? Or have you been told that your sensitivity must mean you're on the autism spectrum? Or are you on the autisim spectrum and can you also identify with many of the characteristics of Highly Sensitive People? With over 2.2 million views and hundreds of comments on recent viral videos about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), it's clear this topic strikes a nerve. Drawing from his experience working with both HSPs and individuals with ASD, Tony dives deep into why these distinct experiences are often confused - and why understanding the difference isn't just interesting, it's essential for creating a more empathetic world.Through viral video statistics, personal anecdotes, and real-world examples, he breaks down how HSPs (representing 15-20% of the population) and individuals with ASD navigate life differently. From sensory processing to social dynamics, discover why that deep emotional processing might actually be an evolutionary advantage rather than a disorder. Along the way, the discussion explores how ADHD and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) intersect with these experiences.This episode provides crucial insights into recognizing, understanding, and supporting both HSPs and individuals with ASD. Whether questioning your own experiences or trying to better understand someone else's, listeners will find the clarity and validation they've been seeking. Perfect for anyone who's ever felt misunderstood about their sensitivity or confused about where they fit in the neurodiversity spectrum. Join Tony for an eye-opening discussion that might just change how you see yourself - or someone you love."00:00 Welcome and Introduction00:30 The Viral Video on Highly Sensitive People01:04 Behind the Scenes: Social Media Stats02:05 Addressing Misconceptions and Personal Insights03:26 A Personal Anecdote: The Butterfly Bandage04:12 Responding to Drive-By Comments04:29 Understanding Highly Sensitive People (HSP) vs Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)07:27 Story Time: Sarah and Michael's Interaction18:57 The Evolutionary Purpose of High Sensitivity21:39 Traits and Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People29:17 Challenges Faced by Highly Sensitive People33:59 The Importance of Curiosity and Understanding35:30 Understanding Human Uniqueness36:22 Fascinating Facts About Human Preferences37:22 The Complexity of Sensitivity

    1h 9m

  3. 7 FEB

    Trisha Jamison, Host of the Q&A Files Podcast on Overcoming Emotional Immaturity for Better Relationships

    Have you ever tried selling a grand piano on Facebook Marketplace? Our latest episode of the Q&A Files kicks off with some personal tales of downsizing and the hilarious adventures that come with it. Join us as Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist, and Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist and seasoned podcaster from The Virtual Couch, and Waking Up To Narcissism, discuss these issues for Tony's podcast, The Virtual Couch. Trisha and Tony discuss emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits and offer a path to healthier relationships. We share our own journeys of growth and healing to show how. This episode delves into the challenges of navigating emotionally complex relationships and the power of validation. Whether dealing with resistance from a partner or unlocking the transformative potential of self-awareness, our candid discussions aim to provide fresh perspectives and practical strategies for listeners who might be walking similar paths.Join us next time as we discuss how to keep your relationships fresh by talking to a newlywed couple who are just as cute as can be! Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b (https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b) Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-q-a-files/id1730736061 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

    52 min

  4. 28 JAN

    Finding Courage Through Chaos: Ashlynn's Path from Betrayal to Empowerment

    Tony welcomes Ashlynn Allen to the podcast. Ashlynn shares her journey from fitness influencer to betrayal trauma survivor to empowerment coach and highlights the strength of facing life’s...

    48 min

  5. 19/12/2024

    Twas the Season of Emotional Strain: Merry Narcissistic Christmas and Happy Emotionally Immature New Year!

    Tony explores the complex dynamics of narcissism and emotional immaturity in a special “Holiday Edition” of the “Death By a Thousand Cuts” series. Through stories shared by listeners, Tony delves into how such behaviors can overshadow festive occasions, creating a lingering emotional toll. He also highlights the importance of awareness and growth, encouraging listeners to participate in healthier, more fulfilling holiday traditions. Featuring a unique narrative inspired by 'Twas the Night Before Christmas,' written by Claude AI, this episode sheds light on the subtleties of narcissistic manipulation and control during what are typically hoped to be seen as celebratory times.00:00 A Twisted Christmas Tale02:36 Introduction and Welcome02:52 Announcements and Updates04:19 Listener Stories: Holiday Struggles06:39 Story 1: Control and Manipulation12:12 Story 2: The Christmas Face16:34 Story 3: The Dream Trip Conflict20:35 Story 4: Missing Milestones27:17 Story 5: Passive Aggressive Holidays34:22 Story 6: Inappropriate Gifts36:21 Reflections and Closing ThoughtsFind more from Tony Overbay:Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouchTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/  Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchIf you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.comIf you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com

    44 min

  6. 06/12/2024

    BONUS Virtual Couch - The Balancing Act: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion

    Are you tired of the endless pursuit of perfection? Do you question why your self-esteem seems more tied to others' opinions than your own self-worth? In this transformative episode, Tony explores the crucial difference between self-esteem and self-compassion, drawing from Dr. Kristin Neff's groundbreaking research. Through personal experiences and scientific insights, Tony challenges our cultural obsession with self-esteem, revealing why the constant pressure to be "above average" creates an impossible and unhealthy standard for well-being.Learn how self-compassion offers a more sustainable path to genuine self-acceptance through its three core components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Tony delves into the fascinating neuroscience behind mindfulness practices, explaining how they physically rewire our brains for greater emotional regulation and self-awareness. Drawing from Viktor Frankl's profound insights as a Holocaust survivor and author of "Man's Search for Meaning," Tony illustrates how finding meaning in our struggles can transform our relationship with ourselves and others.This episode provides both the scientific framework and practical tools needed to develop self-compassion in daily life. Whether you struggle with perfectionism, find yourself caught in comparison traps, or simply want to develop a more stable sense of self-worth, you'll discover why self-compassion offers all the benefits of high self-esteem without its potential downsides. Join Tony as he shares actionable strategies for transforming your relationship with yourself and finding peace in the simple truth that you're not broken - you're human.00:00 Introduction and Personal Story01:46 The Therapist's Dilemma: Hope vs. Reality04:33 Exploring Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion07:01 The Impact of Comparison and External Validation11:02 Value-Based Goal Setting and Radical Acceptance13:08 Parental Support and Secure Attachment15:25 Listener Insights on Self-Esteem16:32 Embracing Self-Compassion23:22 Seeking Validation and Self-Compassion24:16 Confessions of an Ultramarathoner26:18 Accepting Mediocrity in Running29:19 The Power of Self-Compassion33:25 Mindfulness and Self-Kindness35:19 A Personal Podcasting Challenge39:21 Viktor Frankl's Wisdom on Meaning45:23 The Journey of Self-Compassion

    47 min

  7. 03/12/2024

    UPDATED Death By a Thousand Cuts Ocho (8) - Healing, Growing, and Thriving Through Emotional Wounds

    Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores how seemingly minor slights and manipulations in relationships can accumulate to cause significant emotional harm. Welcome to the 8th installment of Waking Up to Narcissism’s “Death by 1,000 Cuts” series. In this episode, Tony delves deep into the subtle yet severe world of emotional abuse. Whether you're dealing with a narcissistic partner, emotionally immature family members, or challenging work colleagues, this episode is full of relatable stories and practical advice to help you understand and navigate these treacherous waters. Tony shares listener-submitted poems and limericks that perfectly capture the pain and frustration of enduring countless small but stinging slights. He also shares personal anecdotes and listener stories to illustrate how these seemingly minor offenses can pile up, causing significant emotional damage over time. Discover invaluable strategies for maintaining your emotional health, such as self-compassion, differentiating yourself emotionally, and setting healthy boundaries. You'll also learn the importance of documenting behavior patterns and trusting your gut feelings to reclaim your reality and foster your healing journey.Find more from Tony Overbay:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouchInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouchStream Riley Hope's song 'Not My Job' and follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/musicbyrileyhope/ 00:00 Deathbycuts807:13 Introduction and Acknowledgements08:06 Listener Contributions: Poems and Limericks09:13 Understanding Emotional Cuts in Relationships09:33 Host Introduction and Podcast Overview11:36 The Free Throw Analogy: Preparation vs. Real Life16:44 Applying Relationship Skills in Real Life24:30 Listener Stories: Death by a Thousand Cuts31:21 Roommate Frustrations31:46 Financial Manipulation32:21 Co-Parenting Conflicts32:55 Family Event Disruptions33:43 Emotional Immaturity in Relationships42:03 Professional Sabotage45:00 Phone Surveillance47:08 Achievement Diminishment48:07 Weaponized Routines48:45 Financial Manipulation Revisited50:30 Co-Parenting Undermining51:09 Recognizing Patterns of Control54:16 The Importance of Self-Compassion

    58 min

  8. 21/11/2024

    Your Pain, Their Power: How Narcissists Feed on Relationships

    Ever wonder why a narcissist seems to feed off your emotional pain? Do you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth in relationships while the other person maintains the upper hand? Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the complexities of narcissistic relationships and emotional immaturity. Tony explores concepts like the false self, the one-up, one-down dynamic, and antagonistic attachment styles in depth. He uncovers how narcissistic traits manifest in relationships, causing deep emotional trauma and affecting whole families. Learn about the destructive patterns of predation, competition, and parasitism in narcissistic behavior from the article “Understanding the Narcissists Antagonisitic Attachment Style” by Julie Hall, creator of “The Narcissist Family Files” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-narcissist-in-your-life/202107/understanding-the-narcissists-antagonistic-attachment-style (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-narcissist-in-your-life/202107/understanding-the-narcissists-antagonistic-attachment-style) Tony shares insights on reclaiming your sense of self by recognizing these unhealthy dynamics. Special thanks to Riley Hope for her song 'Not My Job,' which serves as the show's anthem. You find Riley Hope's "Not My Job" streaming information here: https://linktr.ee/rileyhopematlock (https://linktr.ee/rileyhopematlock?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaYzarlAmutQXlBR1VlrM3k2lH0iDyAN1nIGXsfSaJXIhORFAWo45BVTwEs_aem_ORrixL2BCaZqk3lFhpl-wQ)00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:43 Listener's Question on Narcissism01:39 Understanding Narcissistic Behavior04:15 Exploring Narcissistic Relationships05:26 Antagonistic Attachment Style15:23 One-Up, One-Down Dynamics18:56 Real-Life Examples of Narcissistic Patterns24:17 Introduction to Human Attachment24:42 Secure vs. Antagonistic Attachment25:55 Predatory Relationships29:57 Narcissistic Competition33:18 Parasitic Dynamics33:49 Coercion and Control40:18 The Mask of Narcissism42:57 The Ripple Effect of Narcissistic Abuse45:02 Empowerment and Healing47:54 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview

    52 min
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  • Based on the overwhelming amount of feedback from the "Waking Up to Narcissism" podcast, particularly in the form of questions, Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, answers listener questions specifically related to narcissism, narcissistic traits and tendencies, and emotional immaturity in relationships. A percentage of the proceeds of the podcast will go toward helping people in narcissistic or severe emotionally immature relationships receive help in the form of counseling, legal and moving costs, and providing additional tools to help people rediscover their self-worth, and learn how to successfully find their voice, their sense of purpose and understand that everybody has the right to their own opinion, experience and goals out of life.

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"Waking Up to Narcissism" is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning Virtual Couch podcast, dedicated to helping individuals recognize and navigate narcissistic traits and tendencies in their relationships and within themselves. With a focus on emotional immaturity versus narcissism, Tony provides tools and guidance for personal growth and managing relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals, even if that individual is you!

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