Camp Wild Heart Mackenzie Dunham

I think we’ve all been in that place with our kids where they are clearly going through something big - something with friends, something with sex, mental health, transness, something that makes your parent heart go “Oh god - I need more information about this so I can help and protect and make sure that nothing bad happens to them.” So you put out the bid for connection and try to engage in the conversation and your kid gives you NOTHING. They stare blankly at you, they say “I don’t want to talk about it,” or “I dunno.” And you get emotionally snared and the harder you push, the less they want to talk to you.Sound familiar? In this episode, I’m talking with Flyn Alexander about ways to talk with trans kids who may be hesitant or uncomfortable discussing sensitive topics, such as their transition. Flyn Alexander is a clinical social worker who specializes in working with transgender individuals and their families. He graduated from Michigan State with his MSW. Flyn uses he and they pronouns and is an out and proud trans man.When Flyn approached me about working at Wild Heart Society, I was like “I really don’t have room to take on more people” but after spending 20 minutes with him I was like “I”m gonna figure out how to do this because this guy is flipping awesome.” His energy is contagious. He is courageous, calm, funny, joyful, introspective, and a changemaker. I’m so thrilled he is on our team, and I’m so excited to share this conversation with you. Check out the full episode to hear about:* Why asking your kid a lot of questions can make them clam up so hard* Why you have to separate the narrative of your kiddo’s life that’s in your head from the truth about themselves that they’re telling you* Why parents should investigate their own gender journeys and how gender and other complicated conversations are handled at home* Strategies and key reminders for approaching conversations about gender with your childFind out more about Flyn Alexander:* Wild Heart Society Bio (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/staff/flynalexander)Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:* Wildheartsociety.org (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/)* wildheartsociety.org/downloads (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/downloads)* Wild Heart Society on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wildheartsociety)* Wild Heart Society on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/wild.heart.society/)

You never know how people are gonna react to your child's coming out and socially transitioning.I wish there was a clear indicator that I could give you that says, these are the ones who will support you, and these are the ones who are going to get spooked and do really ugly things. If that thing exists, I haven't discovered it yet.I've seen families who are progressive and open-minded about others get completely closed off to the idea that something like this could be happening with their child. I've also seen people who go to church every Sunday read the Bible, own a lot of guns, who absolutely get it and show up for their kids in some very beautiful ways.Everyone responds differently.Today's episode is a parent story.We'll hear from Mama Bear Kate about how she and her family went about supporting her trans child, Rachel, without a map, navigating the seas of judgment as they began to socially transition.Kate is white, middle class and married to a cisgender man. She has two children and lives in the Pacific Northwest. Kate's also a writer, and she recently shared this story in the Huffington Post.  In this episode, Kate opens up about her experience as a parent of a transgender child. She talks about the challenges she faced in accepting her child's gender and the journey toward embracing it fully. She also shares how she educated herself on trans issues and how she navigated religious and cultural barriers, and how she showed up to support her child through the ups and downs. Check out the full episode to hear about:* How a school form started the process of Rachel’s coming out as nonbinary* How Kate and the family navigated questions about Rachel’s identity being a phase, and a rough year in first grade as he began his social transition* How Kate and her husband intentionally worked to create a culture of openness to tough questions in their household* How Kate’s process of educating herself about trans issues quieted the voice in her head yelling that Rachel’s desire to transition was an emergencyFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:* Wildheartsociety.org (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/)* wildheartsociety.org/downloads (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/downloads)* Wild Heart Society on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wildheartsociety)* Wild Heart Society on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/wild.heart.society/)Resources:* Our 6-Year-Old Wanted To Use 'They/Them' Pronouns. We Had No Idea What We Were In For. (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/transgender-child-nonbinary-pronouns_n_63ff8de4e4b0bdb99f498a2e)

We have all heard and experienced how different school is now from when we were kids. It’s a whole different world. And while I could easily be referring to school policies and the way that kids are taught math - I’m not. I’m referring to the social universe and obstacle course that kids navigate day in and day out. And one of the hardest things about that change is that it doesn’t really end when the bell rings. It continues on social media and smartphones. Kids don’t really get a natural break from it. They need your help to find balance, but also to help them navigate a world that you didn’t ever really know.Today we’re talking to a teacher named Flint about what kids are really facing in schools, how to support them while they’re trying to get their education, and how to communicate with teachers to help them understand the unique needs of your student.  Flint is an English teacher in Southern California. They are white, use they/them pronouns, are vegan, married to an artist, and are nonbinary. They are the kind of person who really goes out of their way to make sure that students, colleagues, and friends are valued and appreciated.  They play and coach roller derby, and have cultivated a large social media following on multiple platforms simply by sharing their genuine and authentic experiences as a trans teacher. Check out the full episode to hear about:* Why parents need to let their kids shove them out of their boxes* Tips for keeping your kid from shutting down in conversation* How leading with curiosity improves your relationships and makes you a better advocate for your child* Why parents and teachers need to do their own work to educate themselves on LGBTQIA+ issuesFind out more about Flint:* Instagram: @justflintisfine (https://www.instagram.com/justflintisfine/)* TikTok: @justflintisfine (https://www.tiktok.com/@justflintisfine)* Two Trans Teachers Podcast (https://pod.link/1655974196)Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:* Wildheartsociety.org (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/)* wildheartsociety.org/downloads (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/downloads)* Wild Heart Society on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wildheartsociety)* Wild Heart Society on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/wild.heart.society/)

Get ready for part two of my conversation with Flint. If you haven’t listened to part one, hit pause and give it a listen, then come back for part two.In this episode, we’re continuing our conversation about creating a safe and supportive space for trans kids, and the trans adults they need in their lives to show them that they will be fine, and that what they are experiencing is normal.Flint is an English teacher in Southern California. They are white, use they/them pronouns, are vegan, married to an artist, and are nonbinary. They are the kind of person who really goes out of their way to make sure that students, colleagues, and friends are valued and appreciated.  They play and coach roller derby, and have cultivated a large social media following on multiple platforms simply by sharing their genuine and authentic experiences as a trans teacher. Check out the full episode to hear about:* How Flint found a community of trans teachers online and grappled with coming out at school post-remote schooling* How Flint leads with questions to defuse conflict within the community, and why it’s important to know when to end the conversation* Reflecting on Flint’s gender journey and why it’s never too late to claim your identity* Why kids need to see a diversity of experiences of gender and sexuality* Why you need to create an environment where it’s safe to ask questions and talk about hard things* Why we need to untangle gender and sexualityFind out more about Flint:* Instagram: @justflintisfine (https://www.instagram.com/justflintisfine/)* TikTok: @justflintisfine (https://www.tiktok.com/@justflintisfine)* Two Trans Teachers Podcast (https://pod.link/1655974196)Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:* Wildheartsociety.org (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/)* wildheartsociety.org/downloads (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/downloads)* Wild Heart Society on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wildheartsociety)* Wild Heart Society on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/wild.heart.society/)

There are so many things about our lives that are gendered.And some of those things are a lot more important and hold more cultural significance than we realize–that is until we have kid who comes out as trans, and then all of that privilege you had and all the mental energy you didn’t have to spend on thinking about all the ways in which the world wasn’t set up for your transgender kid is gone.  Now, I should be clear, when I say “we”  I’m talking about cisgender, heterosexual, white people. People of color, which I am not, have a lot more awareness about the ways in which the white Western world was not built or designed for them. One of the most common conversations I have with white parents of trans kids, usually pretty early on and always because they bring it up, is about their awareness of exactly how much privilege they have, and also how much it sucks to lose it. Today we’re talking with Erica Courdae about culture, hair, privilege, gender and race. Erica is the host of the podcast Pause on the Play® and has built an exceptional community of listeners who are showing up and exploring ways to make their values more explicit at work and at home. She has curated connections and learning experiences that will help anyone challenge harmful norms, show up as an imperfect ally®, and live in alignment.Check out the full episode to hear about:* How Erica’s experience in the beauty industry informs how she helps people investigate cultural norms and show up as themselves* How having a trans child exposes the fragility of the norms and assumptions parents hold* Why it’s so critical for parents to do their own self-work of acceptance and questioning apart from their kids* Why parents need to be able to admit they were wrong and apologize to their children* Why neutrality is not an optionFind out more about Erica Courdae:* Pause on the Play® (https://www.pauseontheplay.com/)* The Pause on the Play® Community (https://www.pauseontheplay.com/community)* Instagram: @pauseontheplay (https://www.instagram.com/pauseontheplay/) Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:* Wildheartsociety.org (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/)* wildheartsociety.org/downloads (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/downloads)* Wild Heart Society on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wildheartsociety)* Wild Heart Society on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/wild.heart.society/)

Toxic masculinity is more than a buzzword.Toxic masculinity is part of the gender training we receive starting in childhood, where we learn the rules about how to be a man or a lady. Man up. Boys don’t cry. And it hurts all of us.Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood and frankly, I’m surprised more men aren’t pissed about it.What does that have to do with raising a transgender child?Toxic masculinity can manifest in many ways and have a profound impact on your children. It can show up in the ways we talk to our kids, the expectations we place on them, and the way parents and kids perceive gender and gender identity. And it can lead to feelings of shame and internalized transphobia.Which is why today I’m talking with Rocco Kayiatos about toxic masculinity, how it shows up and impacts our children, what we can do to reeducate ourselves and our children about what it means to be a man, and how embrace mindful masculinity.Rocco Kayiatos is a musician, poet, actor, and activist. His work centers around gender identity, queer liberation, and social justice. Rocco’s artistry and activism have gained national attention and made him a leading voice in the transgender community. He has brought his powerful message to stages across the country and uses his platform to inspire and empower others to embrace their true selves.Check out the full episode to hear about:* Rocco’s evolution as a performer, publisher, and activist and why it’s so important to create inclusive spaces and model possibility* How Rocco went about uprooting his own toxic ideas about masculinity and let go of being a “man-hating man”* Why Rocco says the goal should be to expand our definitions of gender, identity, and expression with compassion* How cultural assumptions about what it means to be a man can make trans men shy away from claiming their full identity as men* How a rejection of perceived femininity can lead to expressions of toxic masculinity in trans boys* How parents can start interrogating how toxic masculinity shows up for them and expand their ideas about genderFind out more about Rocco Kayiatos:* Instagram: @roccokatastrophe (https://www.instagram.com/roccokatastrophe/)* Connect with Rocco on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/roccokayiatos/)Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:* Wildheartsociety.org (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/)* wildheartsociety.org/downloads (https://www.wildheartsociety.org/downloads)* Wild Heart Society on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wildheartsociety)* Wild Heart Society on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/wild.heart.society/)