#36 Explore Your Relationship with Yourself Try Self-Love

The theme for October is still “Explore” so Kristen and Becky explore what it means to have a relationship with yourself.  
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” -Lucille Ball
When you have the embodiment of loving yourself, you can accomplish all your goals and dreams without being held back.
Psychologist Steven Hayes asks his clients “How tall were you when you stopped loving yourself?” “How tall were you when somebody said ‘you aren’t good enough,’ ‘you’re doing it wrong,’ ‘you’re a failure in some way?'”
Before that impactful time, you did love yourself because we are always born loving ourselves. Then we hear it from the inner critic from there on out or other people remind us that we don’t measure up in some way.
People don’t realize that others are only projecting their own pain and inner critic’s voice onto them so it keeps the negative beliefs alive.
As a kid, you can’t even grasp that and no one is telling you that.
Children always think they are in control of people and at some point we may have been told that it’s not ok to cry over little or big things, not ok to mess up, to be overweight, to be messy. We create a block to knowing or feeling our deeper selves.
We think that loving and connecting with ourselves will make us conceited or a narcissist or somebody who doesn’t care about other people.
Loving yourself makes you care about other people even better.
We often spend more time trying to get love and acceptance from other people than we doing knowing and loving ourselves.
Many women have been conditioned that if we don’t do for everyone else, we are bad and selfish.
We get angry and sad and feel guilty, resentful and low on energy when we over-give and never get our needs met. And if we’re sitting around waiting for permission to do something for ourselves, it’s not going to happen, especially when you have been giving and serving them all the time. You will have to make it happen for yourself. This can be scary for many women.
Always do for yourself first in order to be able to give to anyone else. Your cup needs to be filled FIRST.
Take time to do good things for yourself like exercising, making a healthy meal, meditating or praying can help you feel more filled up.
You don’t know yourself when all you are doing is giving to everyone else. You feel lost.
Drinking enough water and eating healthy is just a nice foundation for self-love because then you have given yourself the basics.
Playing is also important.
Spending time with yourself is really important in order to build a relationship with yourself. Are you ignoring yourself all day long? Do you always have distractions going on?
We distract because we really don’t want to fee what is going on inside ourselves. There might be a lot of stuff from a long time ago stuffed inside. This can feel terrifying, sad, confusing, there might be anger, shame and fear as well.
Understand what you like and what your needs and values are. You can meet people who share the same values as you do and that can help a lot in terms of loving and trusting yourself and liking your own company. Start with your values.
Write a list of what you like and don’t like. And this can include people you don’t like. You can choose to limit who you spend time with.
If they are draining you, you may want to move more away from them. These are ways to feed your soul instead of being depleted all the time.
Creating a relationship with yourself does require you to take baby steps at first. Ask yourself, “What makes me lovable?” Then, be aware of what you are thinking about and any objections that arise.
Doing healthy, loving actions also shows yourself that you are important. Create the habits to support these better beliefs.
Accepting...