SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey Tracey Cox and Kelsey Chittick

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:
1) When I first got together with my partner of four years, we had lots of fun tying each other up. That stopped about a year ago and I really miss it, so I asked if we could incorporate it back into our lovemaking. The very same night, I walked into the bedroom ready for bed—not even slightly in the mood for sex—and there was a tie on the bed. I asked him what it was for, and he said to tie me up. I was in my dressing gown, listening to a podcast, slippers on—how could he not see that was not the time? I told him his timing was off and felt annoyed that he didn’t get that. I don’t want this to be a box that he's ticked—I want it to happen naturally, when we’re both really turned on and in the mood. It’s now been two months and he hasn’t initiated any tie-up sessions since. I don’t understand why, when I was very clear in what I wanted. Why doesn’t he want to please me?
2) My husband and I have sex once every two months. We have two young kids, so that seemed about right to me. Recently, I used his computer and looked at his history and was quite shocked to see he’d been watching porn earlier that day while I was out. I’d be happy to have sex more often and feel insulted he’d prefer to masturbate to porn than have sex with me. Why didn’t he ask? Should I confront him about this? I feel quite hurt.
3) I’m a 29-year-old female and I have a hard time orgasming. I've done a lot of research and listened to many of your podcasts. I've bought the toys, my partner is patient and generous—there is no good reason I shouldn't be successful! When I am able to orgasm, I have to tighten the muscles in my legs and lower abdomen. I also hold my breath. I read online that this is called a ‘tension orgasm’ and that the best fix is to relearn the way I orgasm. I've tried, but the sensation won't even begin to build unless my legs are flexed. I can vibrate, stroke for an hour or more and never feel an ounce of arousal. What gives?
To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU
Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:
1) I feel like your inbox for this podcast is full of questions like mine. I’ve been married for 26 years, and our sex life quietly died about 10 years ago. I’ve been listening to you both and I know this is normal. What I want to find out is if my wife misses our sex, or if she is happy with not having it? We’re best friends and still sleep naked, we just never initiate sex. We’ve never talked about sex before, even though we both enjoyed it in the past. How do I start the conversation after all this time?
2) I’m a 36-year-old man and have just gone through a particularly nasty breakup with my girlfriend of 10 years. I’m not interested in having another relationship for a LONG time, if ever, but I do miss sex. I have a group of close friends, and one of them has intimated she’d be up for a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Seems like a good idea to me. What do you think?
3) I hope you can help me because I think I must be a terrible lover. My long-term boyfriend just broke-up with me, and the main reason why was that he didn’t enjoy having sex with me. He said I never once initiated sex and didn’t ever seem to enjoy it. He knows I don’t have much experience and am naturally shy, but said there was ‘lots of other stuff’ as well (which he didn’t elaborate on). It's stripped me of what little confidence I did have. How do you tell if you’re good in bed? What do I have to do to become good in bed?
To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU
Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:
1) My husband and I are each other’s first loves. We’re now twenty years on, 10 years married with a child and I feel at a loss. Our sex life is robotic and boring, once or twice a month. Same foreplay, same position. I have repeatedly suggested trying new things, but it’s always met with resistance, no willingness to talk or try anything. Frankly, he has no clue how to make me orgasm. I can count on one hand how many times that’s happened. I have shown and guided him, he’s just not interested. He expects oral sex, but has never and is not willing to give it. He’s a great dad. I love him, but that is reducing all the time. Sometimes I dread it when he kisses me. Our child is growing up and less dependent. I’m entering mid-life in a loveless, sexless marriage. The appeal of meeting someone who would want to have more meaningful sex and experiment is huge. How on earth do we get a sex life and nearer to where I want it to be?
2) I am a 28-year-old straight man and I orgasm so fast, it’s humiliating. It’s barely a minute between when I penetrate and orgasm. I’m so embarrassed I haven’t had sex for six months. What can I do to overcome this? I’ve tried a delay spray and it did nothing.
3) I love your podcast and you’ve encouraged me to try new things with my partner of four years. But it backfired on me. I thought he’d be impressed by my new trick (it was an oral sex technique) but it had the opposite effect to what I intended: he lost his erection! He seemed annoyed that I’d done something different than the norm rather than impressed. Why? I’m completely demoralized and annoyed with him, and now don’t feel like making an effort at all.
To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU
Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:
1) I love sex and I love the feeling of orgasm, but I’ve never been able to have more than one. Are all women capable of multiple orgasms, and how can I increase my chances of having one?
2) I’m a straight guy wanting to suggest a threesome with my wife of four years. She’s really into sex and very adventurous, but I’ve never suggested anything like this or even asked if she’s had one in the past. I have. I would love to see her with another woman, so it would be a male/female/female combination. Any suggestions on how to suggest this without causing issues? I feel very nervous about it.
3) Love the podcast and am guessing you will both tell me to mind my own business, but I’m worried about my 24-year-old son. He doesn’t seem to have any interest in getting a girlfriend or having casual sex. He knows I’ve had a colorful past (nice way of saying a lot of partners before I met his dad) and I’ve asked him why he isn’t out there exploring. His answer was that he’s not that intrigued by sex. After a bit of digging, he said he’s scared by what’s expected of him and not sure he wants the sex he sees on porn. I didn’t ask outright, but I’m guessing he’s a virgin. Is this normal? I can’t imagine why a 24-year-old good-looking boy isn’t interested in sex.
To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU
Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:
1) I’m wondering if I’m a little full on too early on when I go on dates. I love having deep, intense conversations and hate small talk. Some men seem to love it, but one guy recently told me I was a ‘bit heavy’ and to ‘lighten up a bit.’ What’s your view on this?
2) I was diagnosed with depression in my early 20s and have been on and off anti-depressants all my life. When I take the pills, I have no desire to have sex at all. When I do, it’s not enjoyable: stimulation feels stunted and it’s hard to reach a climax. My mood is better when I’m on them, but I feel I have to stop them for the sake of my relationship. My partner is very understanding, but it’s not fair: we’re only in our late 30s. I’ve been off them for three months this time and not noticed any return of my libido. Will it eventually come back?
3) We’re a straight couple in our early 40s. We’d both rate our sex life as good, but we are a bit lazy and don’t try new things very often. Maybe we aren’t terribly imaginative. Any suggestions on what to try? Also, how often should you try something new?
To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU
Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:
1) I have my best orgasms using my wand vibrator. My old boyfriend didn’t have an issue with using it in bed with us (though he was the first man I’ve ever used it with). Now, I’m with someone new—about two months in—and want to bring it up. Any hints on what to say? My previous boyfriend was the one to suggest it last time.
2) I’ve been to hell and back in my marriage. My partner confessed to having a three-month affair with a woman at his work. We’ve been to therapy and have decided to work through it, but we haven’t had sex since I found out about her. Anytime I get a sexual thought, an image of him with her squashes it. That’s all I see: him with someone else. How do I get past this and enjoy sex again?
3) I love 69ers but I often end up unsatisfied. Seems to me like one person always misses out—usually me! My partner is more interested with what I’m doing to him and loses interest in stimulating me. It can also be uncomfortable. Any suggestions on how to make 69ers a bit more satisfying?
To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU
Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.