The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley

Ben Brearley
  • 4.8 (10)
  • Management
  • Weekly

Short, sharp and practical leadership support for thoughtful, reflective, people-focused leaders who want to lead with confidence, without pretending to be someone they're not. Hosted by leadership coach Ben Brearley, each episode helps you build confidence, set boundaries, and stay true to your values in the workplace. No jargon, no hype. Just real strategies for thoughtful leadership.

  1. 2d ago

    #351: Are you losing yourself in your leadership role?

    You can enjoy your work and care about your career while still questioning what it costs you to stay in a particular role. Ben reflects on people he has worked with who seemed pleasant outside work discussions, yet behaved in ways he found troubling when under pressure in difficult workplaces. This episode explores how leaders can avoid losing themselves in the effort to hold on to a job. Ben suggests building a foundation of personal values, reflecting regularly on whether your behaviour aligns with those values, and maintaining the skills, connections and flexibility that give you alternatives. Key points Pressure and difficult workplace cultures can contribute to behaviour you would not otherwise feel proud of. Clarify the personal values that matter most to you, so you have a foundation for decisions and behaviour. Reflect on specific situations: how did you respond, what would you change, and were you true to your values? Ask whether you are being the person you want to be and whether the cost of keeping the role is worth it. Reduce dependence on one particular job by keeping your network strong and your skills and qualifications current. Ben also discusses how needing a particular income or status can narrow the options you feel able to consider. Having alternatives can help you avoid holding on to a role at the expense of behaviour you respect. Resources mentioned Understand and reflect on your values: The Useful Values Journal. Structured reflection: The Useful Thinking Journal. Work with Ben: Leadership Coaching. Leave a comment! Are you behaving in a way you feel proud of at work, and what could help you stay more closely aligned with your values?

    #351: Are you losing yourself in your leadership role?

  2. Oct 25

    #350: 3 Mindfulness misconceptions that could be holding you back.

    After losing his temper during a stressful project, Ben recognised that he wanted to manage frustration and his emotions more effectively. A conversation in a later role introduced him to mindfulness, which he began practising through simple exercises on his train journey to work. In this episode, Ben shares how that practice helped him notice his responses to pressure and make more intentional choices. He explores three misconceptions that can discourage people from starting, and offers examples of how to practise noticing during everyday activities, from walking the dog to taking part in a meeting. Key points Ben describes mindfulness as becoming better at noticing what is happening within you and around you. In a tense meeting, noticing his shoulders tightening helped him pause, relax and ask better questions. Mindfulness does not have to involve hours of meditation; Ben describes practising in short sessions and everyday moments. Having an active mind does not rule you out: the practice involves noticing mental activity, rather than switching it off. Think of mindfulness as ongoing preparation, rather than something you only turn to when you are already stressed. Noticing your mood, thoughts and physical responses can help you choose how to respond instead of operating on autopilot. Being intentional does not mean you will always get things right, but it gives you more awareness of your choices. Everyday sensations—such as a door handle against your hand or the sounds around you on a walk—can provide opportunities to practise. Resources mentioned Zen Habits. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Headspace. Waking Up by Sam Harris. Leave a comment! What everyday activity could you use to practise noticing your thoughts, physical sensations or surroundings today?

    #350: 3 Mindfulness misconceptions that could be holding you back.

  3. Oct 18

    #349: If you do nothing else, get to know your people.

    During a two-day training course, Ben noticed that conversations about different leadership challenges kept returning to the same point: get to know your people. In this episode, he explores why that simple practice matters. Spending time with people and observing how they work can help you recognise changes in their behaviour, understand their strengths and weaknesses, and adapt to their personal style. Ben also explains how showing an interest in others can build trust and connection, making it easier for people to speak up and for you to have the conversations your team needs. Key points Spend time with people and observe how they usually behave, so you can notice when something changes. Look for changes from a person's usual behaviour rather than assuming a single gesture has a fixed meaning. Understand both strengths and weaknesses: use strengths when delegating and help reduce the impact of areas where people struggle. Ask simple questions about what people enjoy, what stresses them and where they need support. Notice personal preferences and tailor your approach, including how you recognise contributions or begin conversations. Treat personality assessments as useful prompts for understanding, rather than perfect descriptions of a person. Showing interest in people can reduce the perception that you are focused only on your own goals. Trust and connection can help people share ideas and concerns, and make accountability conversations easier. Resources mentioned The Behaviour Panel: YouTube channel. The Trust Equation. Article: Build stronger connections for less stress. Episode show notes, where Ben says he will link to the channel, the Trust Equation and the connection episode. Work with Ben: Leadership Coaching. Leave a comment! What could you learn about someone in your team that would help you support them more effectively?

    #349: If you do nothing else, get to know your people.

  4. Oct 11

    #348: Use the Expectation Effect to help your team.

    The expectations you hold about a team member can influence your tone, body language and the amount of oversight you provide. Those signals can then affect how the person responds. Drawing on his reading of David Robson's The Expectation Effect, Ben explores the connections between expectations, self-fulfilling prophecies and leadership. He describes how doubts about someone's capability can contribute to a cycle of nervousness and increased checking, and how showing trust and support can help create a more positive cycle. He also suggests ways to respond when changing your underlying beliefs feels difficult. Key points Notice the beliefs and expectations you hold about individual team members. Those expectations can influence your questions, tone, body language and level of oversight. A team member who senses a lack of trust may become nervous and seek more reassurance, reinforcing your original doubts. Showing belief in someone, offering help and giving them space can encourage a more positive response. You may not be able to change a belief immediately, but you can consciously adjust your behaviour. Use supportive language and positive body language to help offset the negative signals your doubts may otherwise send.   Resources mentioned The Expectation Effect by David Robson. Work with Ben: Leadership Coaching. Leave a comment! Have you seen expectations shape behaviour in your workplace, and how might yo

    #348: Use the Expectation Effect to help your team.

  5. Oct 4

    #347: How to delegate more intentionally.

    Delegation involves more than distributing a list of tasks. It gives people responsibility and some freedom to decide how work gets done. In this episode, Ben explains the distinction between task allocation and delegation, drawing on a project where giving a team member responsibility for technology rollouts helped improve his motivation. He explores levels of delegation, why developing people takes an upfront investment of time, and how to examine the discomfort that can come with letting go of control. Key points Task allocation distributes work; delegation gives people additional responsibility and decision-making freedom. Autonomy can help people feel valued, take ownership and become more motivated. Adjust the level of delegation to the person's capability and the trust you have in them. Delegation can range from investigating and reporting back to acting independently, with different levels of oversight in between. The levels are a spectrum of freedom, rather than a rigid set of numbered rules. Avoid giving every opportunity to your strongest performers: they can become overwhelmed while others miss the chance to learn. Treat the time spent teaching and supporting people as an investment in future capability. Examine whether reluctance to delegate reflects the situation or your own fear of losing control. Use delegation to develop people and prepare them for greater responsibility, as well as freeing up your time. Resources mentioned Work with Ben: Leadership Coaching. Leave a comment! What would you add to these ideas about delegation, and what helps you feel more comfortable giving people responsibility?

    #347: How to delegate more intentionally.

  6. Sep 27

    #346: Should you be more visible as a leader?

    Capable people may not need you to help them do their jobs every day, but they can still value your presence and support. In this episode, Ben reflects on leadership roles where he could have been more visible. He explores the assumptions that kept him in the background, the benefits of connecting with people beyond his direct reports, and ways to be more present in meetings and across the team. He also explains why leaders who manage managers should discuss their intentions before getting more involved with those managers' teams. Key points Avoid assuming that capable people do not need your presence or support. People beyond your direct reports may value the opportunity to connect with you. Being present can help you build relationships, act as a sounding board and make it easier for people to raise ideas or issues. "Managing by walking around" can help you understand the work and the area you lead. Short catch-ups can provide opportunities to connect when people work remotely. Consider where contributing to meetings, presenting or volunteering would be useful. Explain your intentions to the managers you lead before attending their meetings or connecting more with their teams, so your involvement does not feel like micromanagement. Leave a comment! Could you be more visible in your leadership role, and where would your presence make the most useful difference?

    #346: Should you be more visible as a leader?

  7. Sep 20

    #345: How to deal with defensive people at work.

    Defensive behaviour often appears when someone experiences feedback or criticism as a threat. They may justify their actions, change their tone or push back in an attempt to make the uncomfortable conversation go away. In this episode, Ben explains why simply backing off can reward defensiveness and leave important problems unresolved. He shares practical ways to continue the conversation: be helpful, ask for the other person's view, avoid surprising them with criticism in public, identify a shared goal and, when necessary, describe the behaviour you have observed directly without applying a judgemental label. Key points Defensiveness is often a response to a perceived threat. Backing away every time someone becomes defensive can reward the behaviour and weaken accountability. Position yourself as helpful by asking what support the person needs. Ask for their opinion because there may be important context you do not yet understand. Give sensitive feedback privately and avoid putting people on the spot in public. Focus the conversation on a shared positive outcome. If other approaches do not work, describe the specific behaviour you observed and ask what is happening. Avoid simply labelling someone as defensive; observable behaviour is less judgemental and harder to dispute. Key takeaway You can reduce defensiveness without abandoning accountability by lowering the sense of threat, seeking the person's perspective and keeping the conversation focused on support and shared outcomes. Leave a comment! What has worked best for you when dealing with defensive behaviour, and what approaches have not worked so well?

    #345: How to deal with defensive people at work.

  8. Sep 13

    #344: Questions to help you find your career direction.

    It is possible to be talented at your work without enjoying it. Over time, this can create stress and leave you feeling stuck, especially when you have invested years in a profession or industry. In this episode, Ben shares questions that can help you think more openly about your career direction. He invites you to imagine your ideal job, notice the activities that put you into a state of flow, consider the lifestyle you want around your work, identify the parts of your role that create the most stress, and recognise the work you enjoy most. The aim is not necessarily to abandon your career, but to find ways to adjust your direction so it fits you better. Key points Being good at a type of work does not necessarily mean you enjoy it. Imagine your ideal role five years from now without limiting yourself to your current position. Notice which activities absorb you so completely that you lose track of time. Consider your whole life when thinking about career direction, including hours, flexibility, remote work and in-person work. Identify the tasks that create the most stress and consider what they reveal about your values and motivation. Think about which parts of your current or previous roles you enjoy most. A better career direction may involve adjusting your current work rather than starting again completely. Key takeaway Your future career direction should reflect not only what you are good at, but also what you enjoy, what gives you energy and the kind of life you want your work to support. Resources mentioned Article: Flow by Psychology Today. Book: Flow. Work with Ben: Leadership coaching. Leave a comment! Which parts of your work put you into a state of flow, and what might they reveal about your future career direction?

    #344: Questions to help you find your career direction.
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Short, sharp and practical leadership support for thoughtful, reflective, people-focused leaders who want to lead with confidence, without pretending to be someone they're not. Hosted by leadership coach Ben Brearley, each episode helps you build confidence, set boundaries, and stay true to your values in the workplace. No jargon, no hype. Just real strategies for thoughtful leadership.

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