Good Girl Deprogramming

Michelle Minnikin
Good Girl Deprogramming

Join author, coach, and organisational psychologist Michelle Minnikin as she unpacks and challenges the 'Good Girl' narrative that limits women in their personal and professional lives. In each episode, explore the stories, strategies, and psychology behind breaking free from social conditioning, reclaiming authenticity, and thriving on your own terms. Subscribe now for empowering conversations and insights.

  1. 23 - Feminist Business & Redefining Success with Clara Wilcox

    FEB 22

    23 - Feminist Business & Redefining Success with Clara Wilcox

    Episode 23 - Feminist Business & Redefining Success with Clara Wilcox Clara Wilcox is a straight-talking, practical and experienced (doubly qualified) coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance. We discuss the exhaustion of “good girl conditioning,” the power of self-employment, and the importance of working in alignment with your values. Clara shares her journey from corporate life to self-employment, how she structures her business to align with her values, and why deprogramming from traditional career expectations can be so liberating. We also dive into neurodivergence, menstrual cycle mapping, and the myth of ‘having it all’. What we talk about: 01:17 - Jumping right in: Did you ever think you were a ‘good girl’? 03:34 - Compliance vs. honesty: Why challenging norms is exhausting 05:55 - Fawn response, people-pleasing & burnout 08:58 - How self-employment helped deprogram ‘good girl’ conditioning 13:43 - Running a feminist, anti-capitalist business 17:05 - Pricing based on equity & fun: Can work feel good? 20:24 - Honesty in business & why saying no is a radical act 26:56 - Neurodivergence & why Clara started tracking her menstrual cycle 31:10 - The illusion of work-life balance & why corporate life is outdated 34:03 - Final Question: What can you do today that your future self will thank you for? Follow Victoria on social media:   Clara’s website - https://thebalancecollective.co.uk/blog/  Clara on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/clarawilcox/  Follow Michelle on social media:   Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Buy Good Girl Deprogramming Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)  Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk  Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl athttps://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/  If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    36 min
  2. 22 - Ditching Good Girl Conditioning for Good with Victoria Theriault

    FEB 9

    22 - Ditching Good Girl Conditioning for Good with Victoria Theriault

    Episode 22 - Ditching Good Girl Conditioning for Good with Victoria Theriault Victoria is the founder and owner of DISCover What Works. She’s a Certified Team Facilitator, DISC and EQ Analyst and a Keynote Speaker. Victoria helps raise individual and team performance as well as notably improve client service. She’s a co-author of the book Pursuit 365, and the creator and host of the DISCovering You podcast which explores the role that personality plays in our interactions at work and beyond, and how it affects us as we navigate through life. What we talk about: 2:22 -  When Have You Felt Pressured to Be a Good Girl? – Victoria reflects on childhood experiences of rule-following, striving for high standards, and avoiding disappointment. 5:46 -  The Fear of Disappointing Others – Michelle discusses the internal conflict of disappointing others vs. disappointing yourself. 7:55  -  Good Girl Conditioning in Everyday Life – Victoria shares how being a highly sensitive person (HSP) and her communication style shaped her experience. 10:53 -  Why Do People Do What They Do? – The fascination with human behaviour and how it influences relationships and workplaces. 12:55 -  Navigating Judgment & The Power of Context – Why people rush to judge and how pausing to ask “Why?” can create better understanding. 15:16 -  Seeking External Validation – Victoria shares how praise shaped her self-worth from childhood to adulthood. 17:07 -  Unhooking from Praise & Criticism – Michelle explains the importance of detaching from external validation and staying true to your mission. 19:21 -  The Trap of People-Pleasing – The challenge of managing expectations and learning to let go of needing to be liked. 24:00 -  The Liberation of Not Caring (Too Much!) – What can we learn from people who don’t overthink every interaction? 25:48 -  Forced Empathy & Communication Exercises – How walking in someone else’s shoes improves relationships and teamwork. 26:52 -  Why Victoria Does What She Does – Her journey into communication coaching and the power of understanding different perspectives. 31:56  -  The Secret to Successful Teams – How having diverse personalities and communication styles can transform workplaces. 33:13 -  Final Reflection: The Power of Asking ‘Why?’ – Victoria’s advice on using curiosity instead of judgment in everyday interactions. 36:39 -  Closing Thoughts & How to Connect – Michelle wraps up the conversation and invites listeners to explore more. Follow Victoria on social media:   Victoria’s website -https://discoverwhatworks.org/  Victoria on LinkedIn -https://www.linkedin.com/in/discoverwhatworks/  Victoria on Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/discoverwhatworks/?hl=en  Victoria on Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaDISC/  Victoria on YouTube -https://www.youtube.com/@DISCoveringYouPodcast    Follow Michelle on social media:   Website -https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin -https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok -https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Buy Good Girl Deprogramming Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon -https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)  Audible -https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk  Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl athttps://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/  If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    38 min
  3. 21 - Being a Little Bit Naughty with Steph Edusei

    FEB 2

    21 - Being a Little Bit Naughty with Steph Edusei

    Episode 21 - Being a Little Bit Naughty with Steph Edusei Steph Edusei is the Chief Executive of St Oswald’s Hospice, a large children and adults charitable hospice. She’s also a Director of the North East Chamber of Commerce. As an integral part of her local community, Steph has been a leader with Girlguiding UK for over 30 years and holds the position of Chair at Eliot Smith Dance Company. Previously, she served as a Non-Executive Director of The Newcastle upon Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust and was the co-chair of The Angelou Centre, a charity offering training, counselling, and refuge support. Steph is the founder of the ‘Black All Year’ podcast and associated events. She uses the platform to amplify black voices, highlight the challenges faced by Black people, and celebrate their successes and achievements. In 2022, Steph was named Transformational Leader at the Northern Power Women Awards. What we talk about: 1:16 -  Introducing Steph: A Leader Who Challenges the Status Quo 2:45 - “Did You Ever Identify as a Good Girl?” 6:32 - The Cost of People-Pleasing in Work & Life 9:25 - What Changed? The Moment of Transformation 10:47 - How Being “A Little Bit Naughty” Changed Everything 14:10 - The Problem with Traditional Leadership Development for Women 17:52 - The Reality of Being a Female CEO 20:35 - The Role of Coaching in Leadership Growth 25:45 - Why Workplace Culture Must Change – Not Women 30:00 -  Steph’s Challenge for Listeners: “What’s Your Little Bit of Naughty?” Follow Steph on social media:   St Oswalds  - https://www.stoswaldsuk.org/  Black All Year - https://www.blackallyear.co.uk/  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stephedusei/   LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/steph-edusei/    Follow Michelle on social media:   Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Buy Good Girl Deprogramming Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)  Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk  Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/  If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    32 min
  4. JAN 25

    20 - Really Useful Conversations with Michelle Minnikin and Andrea Newton

    Episode 20 - Really Useful Conversations with Michelle Minnikin and Andrea Newton In this week’s episode, Andrea Newton welcomes back Michelle Minnikin, to the Really Useful Conversations Podcast. They explore the roots of societal conditioning, how it impacts women in the workplace and beyond, and how Michelle’s work is helping women unleash their inner rebels. Michelle also gives a sneak peek into her sessions at the upcoming Actually She Can event. What we talk about: 1:33 -  What Is Good Girl Conditioning? 3:50 - Michelle’s Sessions at Actually She Can 5:19 -  Recognising the Impact of Good Girl Conditioning 7:39 - Societal Progress – How Far We’ve Come and How Far We Have to Go 10:40 - Gender Roles in Family Caregiving 12:01- Unleashing Your Inner Rebel 13:30 - The Magic of Women Empowering Women 17:23 - Stereotypes and Gender Bias in STEM and Beyond 20:30 - Allyship in the Workplace 22:59 - Safety and Societal Conditioning 25:21 - The Power of Women Gathering Together Follow Andrea on social media:   LinkedIn  - https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrea-newton-cc/  Ticket’s for Actually, She Can - https://www.actuallyshecan.co.uk/  Podcast - https://podfollow.com/ruc/view  Follow Michelle on social media:   Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Buy Good Girl Deprogramming Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)  Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk  Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/  If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    29 min
  5. 19 - Guilt, Boundaries, and Asking for What You Need with Michaela Thomas

    JAN 19

    19 - Guilt, Boundaries, and Asking for What You Need with Michaela Thomas

    Episode 19 - Guilt, Boundaries, and Asking for What You Need with Michaela Thomas Michaela Thomas is a Clinical Psychologist, coach, speaker, founder of the psychology practice The Thomas Connection and author of The Lasting Connection – develop love and compassion for yourself and your partner. Michaela specialises in the intersection between perfectionism and ADHD, with its ties with stress, anxiety, depression, productivity, procrastination, burnout, and overall wellbeing. Michaela helps ambitious female leaders with ADHD burn bright without burning out, finding sustainable success using her Pause Purpose Play framework in group coaching, therapy and speaking. What we talk about: 1:28 - Michaela’s Journey with Good Girl Conditioning 2:55 - The Impact of Janteloven 5:13 - Keeping Women Small 9:11 - The Balance Between Modesty and Assertiveness 12:55 - The Tea Experiment 16:54 - The Role of Guilt and Backdraft in Good Girl Deprogramming 20:38 - Receiving Compassion from Others 23:52 - Burning Bright Without Burning Out 30:07 - Final Reflections and a Powerful Question Follow Micheala on social media:   Website  - https://thethomasconnection.co.uk/  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection  LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaela-thomas/  Follow Michelle on social media:   Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Buy Good Girl Deprogramming Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)  Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk  Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/  If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    32 min
  6. 18 - Harnessing Rage for Good with Hira Ali

    JAN 12

    18 - Harnessing Rage for Good with Hira Ali

    Episode 18 - Harnessing Rage for Good with Hira Ali Hira Ali is a leadership development and allyship specialist, executive career coach, and acclaimed writer and speaker. Her award-winning career is dedicated to helping others realise their potential. Her work has been featured in outlets such as The Harvard Business Review, Forbes, The Telegraph, B.B.C., HuffPost, and Entrepreneur. She is a Senior Advisory Team member for Benedictine University Illinois L.E.A.D.S., an IDEA Practitioner at NASA, and an advisor for the Women in Transport Intersectionality Advisory Group. Recognised as one of the top 50 influential Muslims in Europe in 2022, Hira is also highlighted by Diverse In as a global D&I voice to follow on LinkedIn. As the founder of Advancing Your Potential, Hira champions allyship and inclusive talent initiatives. She is the award-winning author of Her Way To The Top: A Guide to Smashing the Glass Ceiling and Her Allies: A Practical Toolkit to Help Men Lead Through Advocacy. What we talk about: 1:44 – Pressures of Good Girl Conditioning: Hira discusses the societal and cultural expectations that shaped her life growing up, including anecdotes about being told not to laugh loudly and the pressure to marry the “right person.” 2:50 – Good Girl Conditioning as a Global Issue: Hira explains how these challenges are universal, spanning borders and cultures, with professional and personal implications. 5:29 – Choosing Battles: They discuss the importance of picking battles for one’s sanity and recognising when to conform versus resist. 6:40 – Dealing with Pushback: Hira shares her strategies for handling backlash, including unashamedly owning her space, finding allies, and building a supportive network. 8:45 – Raising the Next Generation Differently: Hira emphasises the importance of teaching girls and boys to break free from outdated gender norms. 9:38 – Harnessing Rage for Good: Michelle and Hira explore how to transform frustration and anger into collaborative, positive action. 11:27 – The Power of Advocacy: Hira highlights the importance of balancing public advocacy with private efforts and the role of social media in influencing change. 13:17 – Leadership and Intersectionality: Hira talks about the additional pressures of being a Muslim, immigrant, female leader, and how intersectional identities amplify challenges. 16:05 – Navigating High Standards for Women: Discussing the disproportionate expectations women face, particularly in leadership roles. 19:46 – Processing Grief and Finding Strength: Hira shares the importance of grieving injustices but moving forward to create meaningful impact. 20:51 – Advocacy in Many Forms: Advocacy doesn’t always have to be public; small, private actions can be equally impactful. 24:04 – The Role of Male Allies: Hira discusses her book Her Allies and the importance of compassionate, informed male allyship. 27:21 – Global Policy for Workplace Equity: If Hira could implement one global policy, it would be an accountability framework to ensure equity across all levels of organisations. Follow Hira on social media:   Website  - https://www.advancingyourpotential.com/  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/advancingyou/  LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/hira-ali-careercoach/  Follow Michelle on social media:   Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/  If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    32 min
  7. 17 - Noticing the Water We Swim In with Katy Lumsden

    JAN 5

    17 - Noticing the Water We Swim In with Katy Lumsden

    Episode 17 - Noticing the Water We Swim In with Katy Lumsden Katy is a seasoned practitioner in organisational behaviour, organisational development, and human resources, with extensive leadership experience across the public sector in Ireland, as well as in church and trade union environments. Her work is driven by a passion for learning and empowerment through self-inquiry, underpinned by a values-led approach. Holding an MBS in Organisational Development, Organisational Behaviour, and Leadership, Katy has designed and delivered programmes for children and young people, focusing on leadership, followership, and culture. A regular speaker, podcast guest, and co-author of Soul Excellence Publishing’s best-selling leadership book, The X-Factor: Spiritual Secrets Behind Successful Executives and Entrepreneurs, Katy frequently shares her insights on leadership, systems, and culture through social media. Before transitioning into organisational development, Katy trained and practised in Visual Communications. In 2004, she was awarded Craft Membership of the Society of Heraldic Arts, joining an exclusive group of fewer than 50 artists worldwide to have earned this distinction. Katy’s career path has been far from linear, but it has always been guided by her personal values of excellence, professionalism, fairness, courage, and growth. She continually seeks opportunities to align her work with these principles, carving out a distinctive and impactful professional journey. But first and foremost, Katy is a mum to an inspiring and astonishing young woman, who is her breath after breath. Her daughter’s hope, joie de vivre, and bold assumptions cast a searchlight across generations of systemic injustice - forces vested in keeping her small, quiet, and unconfronting simply because she is female. What we talk about: 1:28 – How Michelle and Katy Connected - Katy shares how a LinkedIn post about Good Girl Deprogramming led to her starting a reading group for the book. 5:01 – The Impact of Good Girl Deprogramming - Katy discusses her eye-opening experience with the book, particularly Biderman’s Chart of Coercion and its application to systemic patriarchy. 7:33 – The Noticing Effect - How the book changed Katy’s perspective on societal norms, influencing her own behaviour and those around her. 8:46 – Changing the World - They discuss how small, collective changes can lead to systemic shifts. 9:18 – Navigating Difficult News and Conversations - Katy shares a personal story of processing difficult news stories and finding solace in her Good Girl Gang. 13:26 – Decoupling Patriarchy from Men - Exploring the idea that patriarchy is a system harming everyone and the importance of engaging men in allyship. 15:16 – The Workplace and Systemic Change - Practical examples of workplace barriers for women, from ill-fitting chairs to inaccessible spaces, and how these reflect deeper systemic issues. 20:28 – The Problem with “Quick Fix” Solutions - Critiquing the oversimplified solutions often marketed to women and the need for systemic change instead of individual fixes. 26:05 – Internalised Misogyny and Self-Policing - Katy reflects on how women are conditioned to self-police and judge one another under systemic patriarchy. 28:44 – Katy’s Provocation for Listeners 32:47 – Building a Good Girl Gang - Katy shares her advice for forming supportive groups to navigate and discuss Good Girl Deprogramming. Follow Katy on social media:   Website  - https://www.knownoboundsleadership.com/  LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/katy-lumsden-noisy-introvert/  Follow Michelle on social media:   Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    38 min
  8. 16 - Redefining Ambition & Rethinking Christmas with Tiffany Scott & Alex Morgan

    12/22/2024

    16 - Redefining Ambition & Rethinking Christmas with Tiffany Scott & Alex Morgan

    Episode 16 - Redefining Ambition & Rethinking Christmas with Tiffany Scott & Alex Morgan In this festive episode of the Good Girl Deprogramming Podcast, Michelle sits down with the dynamic duo Tiffany Scott and Alex Morgan, co-hosts of the Mambition podcast. This episode is a refreshing, honest, and often hilarious conversation about the realities of ambition, motherhood, and the invisible mental load that comes with Christmas. Tiffany, Alex, and Michelle unpack the societal “shoulds” that weigh down women during the holiday season and share how they’ve redefined Christmas for themselves and their families. From rejecting perfectionism to letting go of people-pleasing, this conversation will inspire you to do Christmas your way. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the things during Christmas while others just “show up,” this episode will remind you that you don’t have to carry it all. Give yourself permission to delegate, do less, and prioritise your joy this December. What we talk about: 02:30 - Building the My Ambition Podcast - How Tiffany and Alex combined their talents to create a podcast for ambitious mothers. 05:13 - Motherhood, Ambition & Juggling It All - The reality of juggling kids, work, and ambition as a mother. Why you have to accept that some balls will drop — and that’s OK. 07:45 - The Power of Imperfection - Tiffany and Alex share why they don’t edit their podcast — embracing imperfection as a value. 08:51 - The Pressure to Be “Good” at Motherhood - The trio discuss the endless criticism mothers face, regardless of their chois. 09:49 - The Birth of “Free Jill” - Michelle shares a story from her book about a man loudly announcing in a restaurant, “Jill does all the Christmas stuff, I just buy her a present.” 12:00 - Rethinking Christmas Traditions - Alex and Tiffany discuss why the traditions of Christmas often feel forced and how they’re letting go of “what Christmas should look like.” 14:39 - The Mental Load of Christmas - Tiffany shares how her experience of Christmas changed after becoming a mum. 18:19 - The Magic of Simplicity - The trio discuss how simplicity can be more magical than expensive gifts. 20:57 - Materialism, Social Media & the “Perfect Christmas” - They discuss the rise of unboxing videos and how they shape children’s (and parents’) expectations. 22:08 - Single Parenthood & Christmas Burnout - Michelle reflects on her time as a single parent and how she burned herself out trying to create “magic” for her son. 24:22 - Permission to Do Christmas Your Way - Tiffany shares her reflections on “frugal but fulfilling” Christmases. 26:11- Delegating Christmas Tasks - How to delegate the Christmas workload — and why saying “I need help” isn’t enough. 27:45 - Listener Challenges Follow Mambition on social media:   Podcast  - https://open.spotify.com/show/4II2QSrD8NCU8m6btOgTI5?si=UE6MifgjSIinq89XwBVcFA  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mambitionpod/profilecard/?igsh=eWhzaTB5a2N0MGFj  Alex on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-m-morgan/  Tiffany on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/tiffany-sanya/  Follow Michelle on social media:   Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/   Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming   TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Buy Good Girl Deprogramming Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)  Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk  Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/  If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

    32 min

About

Join author, coach, and organisational psychologist Michelle Minnikin as she unpacks and challenges the 'Good Girl' narrative that limits women in their personal and professional lives. In each episode, explore the stories, strategies, and psychology behind breaking free from social conditioning, reclaiming authenticity, and thriving on your own terms. Subscribe now for empowering conversations and insights.

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