Gender: A Wider Lens

Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley
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  • SOCIETY & CULTURE
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Gender: A Wider Lens

In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more. www.widerlenspod.com

  1. 4 DAYS AGO

    Premium: Never Outlaw Homeschooling!

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.com The relationship between education systems, families, and communities must be one of cooperation and respect, resisting ideological control and ensuring that diverse perspectives are welcomed. In this framework, the role of government is to support, protect, and enable individuals to pursue their own paths, while maintaining the necessary checks and balances to safeguard the rights of all citizens. This ideal society fosters transparency in governance, allowing citizens to understand and influence the decisions that affect their lives. A well-balanced society encourages intergenerational dialogue, where the wisdom of previous generations informs the decisions of the present and future, and where collective well-being is nurtured through collaboration, not coercion. It is built on the foundation of individual freedom, strong family structures, and a government that serves, not controls, its people—ensuring that authority is decentralized. In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Eldur Smári Kristinsson emphasizes the growing urgency for individuals with differing perspectives to engage in political discourse, drawing attention to international trends in the U.K. and the U.S. He believes that timely political engagement can catalyze a societal shift, empowering citizens to challenge prevailing ideologies and reclaim their freedoms. Eldur warns, “We are being institutionalized from the day we’re born till the day we die,” stressing the importance of cross-generational relationships and highlighting how state-controlled education has led to a disconnect between parents and children. He critiques Iceland’s compulsory schooling system, advocating for the legalization of homeschooling, greater parental transparency, and a balanced mix of public and private education options to foster healthy competition. Eldur also calls for reforms that ensure parents retain the primary role in their children’s education, criticizing the lack of transparency in school curricula—particularly regarding contested sociological theories—and emphasizing the risks of indoctrination when state oversight replaces parental involvement. Watch our full length episode with Eldur Smári Kristinsson: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-194 For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

    4 min

  2. 5 DAYS AGO

    194 - How the Gender Agenda Captured Iceland, with Eldur Smári Kristinsson

    Stella and Sasha welcome freelance writer, free-thinker, and current chairman of the Lesbian and Gay Alliance in Iceland, Eldur Smári Kristinsson, offering a revealing overview of Iceland’s rapid societal transformation into what he describes as a "gender-crazed dystopia”.  In this episode, Eldur describes how over the last 25 years, Iceland has transitioned from a nation advancing progressive gay rights to one where gender ideology has infiltrated institutions, including government, education, and even the Church of Iceland. This change, Eldur argues, has been driven by ideological activists and well-funded interest groups seeking to perpetuate their influence. His testimony underscores the deep societal shifts underway in Iceland and the challenges of addressing contentious gender issues amid institutional complicity and media narratives. For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-194  Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/    Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/    Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show    Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod   For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit: Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching    Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching   To learn more about our sponsors, visit: Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/   Genspect at https://genspect.org/   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

    1h 14m

  3. 16 NOV

    Premium: Being Male or Female is Not a Feeling State

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.com Honesty and authenticity are critical when discussing identity issues. Rather than avoiding uncomfortable truths or pandering to claims that may oversimplify complex realities, fostering honest discussions can help adolescents build resilience and navigate complexities with greater confidence. Parents, educators, and professionals must strike a balance between compassion and clarity, empowering young people to understand and embrace the nuanced realities of identity. Through informed, empathetic engagement, society can better support adolescents in exploring their identities while safeguarding their well-being and long-term health. In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Dr. Hakeem strongly advocates for transparency, critical thinking, and a commitment to ethical care in addressing gender dysphoria. His approach focuses on safeguarding the psychological and physical health of young people while fostering an environment where they can thoughtfully explore their identities without undue pressure. Watch our full length episode with Dr. Az Hakeem: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-193 For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

    3 min

  4. 15 NOV

    193 - Frauds, Fetishes, and Frameworks in Today's Trans Movement, with Dr. Az Hakeem

    Stella & Sasha welcome author, psychiatrist, and psychotherapist Dr. Az Hakeem to the show, sharing his experience and insights from his extensive career spanning over two decades in the field of gender dysphoria. He reflects how he initially recognized the growing confusion around the issue and noted that the real "madness" was not in the individuals struggling with gender identity, but in society's response to them. In this episode, not only does he revisit his poignant and popular “goth mock-5” analysis as referenced in his previous appearance on Gender: A Wider Lens, but Dr. Hakeem also outlines his four distinct categories of individuals within the broad trans identity label, offering insights into their psychological and sociological distinctions based on his extensive clinical experience with gender dysphoric individuals. He emphasizes that understanding these distinctions is crucial for addressing the needs and motivations of each group more accurately. Other key ideas explored in this conversation include the intriguing intersection of autistic thinking and queer theory; Dr. Hakeem’s perspective as a UK clinician on the future of GIDS (the Gender Identity Development Service at the NHS Tavistock Clinic); as well as the concept of the “overvalued idea” and how understanding it can provide greater insight into gender dysphoria and trans ideation. Additionally, Dr. Hakeem shares valuable advice for parents navigating conversations with their trans-identified children, emphasizing a curious, non-confrontational approach that encourages young people to reflect on how they arrived at their conclusions, rather than simply focusing on the conclusions themselves. For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-193  Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/    Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/    Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show    Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod   For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit: Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching    Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching   To learn more about our sponsors, visit: Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/   Genspect at https://genspect.org/   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

    1h 11m
  5. Dysphoria Means Something Different to Different People

    9 NOV

    Dysphoria Means Something Different to Different People

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.com Dysphoria is not a one-size-fits-all experience but rather a complex phenomenon that varies significantly from person to person. Factors like personal history, family dynamics, societal expectations, and even localized community attitudes all influence how dysphoria is felt and interpreted. While some people may experience dysphoria as an intense discomfort with their physical body, others may feel it more as a social dissonance or a sense of incongruence with traditional gender roles. This variability suggests the need for a patient, individualized approach, allowing each person the space to explore their identity in context rather than rushing into interventions that might overlook these diverse influences. By approaching gender questions with an individualized, patient-centered perspective, this approach supports genuine self-alignment and nurtures well-rounded personal growth. In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Aaron Kimberly advocates for both individual autonomy in gender expression and the importance of responsible, informed guidance that encourages authenticity without immediate recourse to medicalization. By focusing on informed choices and gradual exploration, Aaron argues, individuals can find alignment within themselves, rooted in authenticity and supported by thoughtful, attentive care; seek to understand the underlying factors of gender identity and dysphoria; and ultimately foster a process that encourages self-discovery, resilience, and growth. Watch our full length episode with Aaron Kimberly: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-192 For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

    4 min

  6. 8 NOV

    192 - Paving a Way Back for Detrans Lesbians, with Aaron Kimberly

    Sasha and Stella welcome Aaron Kimberly back to the show, nearly a year after her first appearance on the podcast. Aaron has undergone a remarkable transformation, returning to her female identity and embracing a new understanding and acceptance of herself. This episode delves into Aaron’s complex journey of self-discovery, shaped by her unique experiences with a rare ovotesticular disorder of sex development (DSD), her longstanding identity as a butch lesbian, and the medical, professional, and social experiences that have shaped her path. In this episode, Aaron examines the role of the butch lesbian community that once fostered a vital sense of belonging—a community that, as she remarks, has largely faded, leaving young butch lesbians with limited support. She suggests that this shift might be contributing to the increased rates of medical transition among younger lesbians today. Her deep commitment to understanding the diverse reasons for sex non-conformity, coupled with her involvement in lesbian communities, has cultivated her interest in the cultural contexts of gender and atypical bodies, often pathologized or medicalized in society. This is an incredibly compelling conversation reflecting on the evolving relationship between lesbian identity, butch identity, and the implications of a medicalized appearance. For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at  https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-192  Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/    Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/    Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show    Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod   For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit: Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching    Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching   To learn more about our sponsors, visit: Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/   Genspect at https://genspect.org/   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

    1h 8m

  7. 2 NOV

    Premium: "People Have the Right to Not Have a Gender Identity"

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.com Encouraging workplace policies that support anti-discrimination without imposing specific beliefs allows employees from all backgrounds—whether critical social justice advocates, feminists, conservatives, minorities, LGBTQ individuals, or those who are religious or agnostic—to align with an organization’s commitment to fairness and inclusivity. This approach empowers individuals to clarify their own philosophical beliefs regarding race, gender, and identity, enabling them to advocate for anti-discrimination from their unique perspectives rather than imposing a culture of conformity to a single narrative or ideology. Furthermore, this approach shifts the focus; rather than feeling isolated or viewed as the enemy for holding different perspectives and challenging authoritarian workplace policies, individuals are empowered to engage in open dialogue. This proactive engagement assists employers in designing inclusive, non-authoritarian frameworks that respect diverse viewpoints and promote equality. In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Helen Pluckrose and Carrie Clark discuss their work supporting various organizations navigating the obstacles posed by authoritarian practices in social justice initiatives. They share insights into the challenges of safeguarding free expression, tolerance, and reasoned debate in a climate that often prioritizes conformity over complexity. Watch our full length episode with Helen Pluckrose and Carrie Clark: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-191  For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

    3 min

  8. 1 NOV

    191 - Holding the Line on Liberal Values, with Helen Pluckrose and Carrie Clark

    Sasha and Stella welcome writers Carrie Clark and Helen Pluckrose to the show for thoughtful and provocative dialogue, critically examining the intersections of identity, sex-based rights, mental health, and societal influences. Drawing from both personal experiences and professional insights, they explore complex and sensitive ideas around self-expression, feminism, and gender, encouraging a nuanced and reflective perspective. The conversation also delves into the controversy following Genspect’s 2023 Bigger Picture Conference in Denver, known as "Blue Dress Gate," unpacking the cultural and social tensions surrounding the event. For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-191  Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/  Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/    Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show    Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod   For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit: Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching    Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching   To learn more about our sponsors, visit: Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/   Genspect at https://genspect.org/   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

    1h 13m
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About

In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more. www.widerlenspod.com

Information

  • Creator
    Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2024
  • Episodes
    290
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Stella O'Malley & Sasha Ayad
  • Show Website
    Gender: A Wider Lens

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