9 Chickweed Rage Jeff Drake, Brooke Dillman

After Edda "cures" Amos's hiccups, he takes the stage, first without his cello (hilarious!) and then with it. His performance, which is of course watched via satellite by all of his family and friends, inspires so much passion, that Juliette fucks Elliott on the couch right next to Nan. It also inspires Isabel to have sex with her boyfriend and Seth to make up with Mark, who appears here as a doll or small child. Amos finishes his performance and everyone there loses their minds, throwing their programs in the air and then roses at Amos and Edda. Naturally, the judges unanimously award the grand prize to Amos, who honestly looks like he doesn't give a shit and would rather be anywhere else but there. The victory is short-lived because of the sex tape that everyone saw. You know, because that caused an unfair advantage. Amos asks for another juried performance and then f***s Edda at the press conference. And that's where we leave Brussels, because this just goes on and on and we've truly had enough. (Part 3 of 3)


The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Two Belgian perverts listen to Amos & Edda have sex, Amos & Edda finish having sex, Amos forgets his cello, then Amos forgets he's at a competition are here.
Amos & Edda begin their performance, the audience falls in love, Juliette & Elliott have sex next to Gran, and Isabel accosts her boyfriend are here.
Seth reunites with Mark, the audience throws their programs, the audience throws roses, and Amos gives Edda a rose are here.
Brooke Mac-El-Dee makes an ellipsis joke, Edda floats up to heaven, Amos and Edda get a phone call, and Edda finally has to tell Amos about the sex tape are here.
Amos doesn't care about the sex tape and Amos & Edda have sex at a press conference are here.


This award-winning, then award-losing episode includes:


Drug commercials
Resting heart rates
The Actor's Nightmare
Broadway
Stupid computers
Lurking outside doors
Claude the Cat
Showgirls
Yo-Yo Ma performs Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major.
"Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis
Poltergeist
The clown scene is here and starts at 2:22.
The vulva
Sex in front of your mom
Turtlenecks!
Console TVs, much like this one.
Raggedy Andy Doll
Bats!
Caligula
Roses
Melissa Manchester sings "Please Don't Let This Feeling End."
Ellipses!
E.T.
More turtlenecks!
Sweet Greens
Souplantation


Talk to Us!

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

The world watched Amos and Edda have sex, thanks to a Belgian breaking news balloon, the kind of balloon that floats through the city of Brussels, filled with at least 10 reporters looking for news stories. And part of how they look for news, we guess, is to peep through windows of buildings and film people without their permission. Seems totally cool. But maybe that's just how "European" they are, and we're all a bunch of American yahoos. Whatever the case, the video (or film as Brooke Mac-El-D prefers to call it) becomes a sensation on the internet. But before that, Juliette, Seth, and some lady named Isabel all see the video/film of Amos and Edda fucking on a piano in a rehearsal space, thanks to the peeping reporters on the news balloon that somehow hovered outside their window for the entirety of their tryst. Edda sees the video/film on her laptop, but keeps Amos from viewing it or even knowing about it. So he is pretty confused when they're on the streets of Brussels and everyone they pass, literally everyone, is craning their necks to look at them. And by craning their necks we mean turning their heads literally completely around. The venue is packed, not "standing room only" as one would normally say, but "crammed to the exit signs." Sure. Amos gets nervous, gets the hiccups, and Edda gives him a look that says, "let's fuck," even though he is five minutes from taking the stage. And that's where we end this episode. (Part 2 of 3)


The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Juliette picks up the satellite broadcast from Brussels, tells Edda about it, and Edda is pleased Isabel has seen it are here.
Edda talks to Seth and then hides the video from Amos are here.
All of Brussels stares at Edda and Amos gets the hiccups again are here.


This episode that we picked up on a satellite broadcast from Brussels includes:


The classic Yahtzee commercial.
Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The Wild West
Ethel Merman
La La Land
The Oscar mixup explained.
We're twins!
Wood Burning Kit
Easy-Bake Ovens and the dangers thereof.
The Magic of Making Movies!
Singin' in the Rain
AMC's Nicole Kidman commercial
Breaking News Balloon
Turtlenecks!
Remote controls
The Bechdel Test
Picking up satellite broadcasts
Satellite Balloon / Balloon Satellite
And then this related thing that happened the same day we recorded.
Cirque du Soliel
Woody Allen
Let us never speak of Manhattan
Long-distance and international calls
Fabio killing a goose with his face.
Mike Teevee's mom says Rachmoninoff.
Harold & Maude
Columbo falls down a hill
Broken necks
Johnny Cash


Talk to Us!

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

Buckle up for another epic run of this guy's f*****g garbage. We start looking at the story of Amos and Edda finally doing it in Brussels during a cello competition. It begins with Edda making a move on Amos which causes him to have the hiccups, which results in Amos wanting to go home. But Edda claims she has a cure, which is (of course) fucking. As soon as they've done the deed, Edda gets on the phone back home to tell her mom that, yes, she used the same "hiccup cure" that Juliette did when Juliette first humped Elliott. Because of COURSE the women had to be the instigators and the men had to be uncertain, terrified idiots about sex. Amos and Edda can't keep their hands off each other, which means that Amos pins Edda (very uncomfortably) against a piano. This embrace is viewed by a hot air balloon filled with tourists? Prisoners of war? News reporters? It is so very unclear who the people are and why they're in a hot air balloon floating through downtown Brussels. But why should anything ever make sense in this f*****g strip? Why? (Part 1 of 3)


The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

The ones where Edda comes on so strongly, Amos has hiccups, but she has a cure are here.
The ones where Edda tells Juliette about fucking Amos, then Edda and Amos make out while rehearsing are here.
The ones with the inexplicable spy balloon are here.


This no longer virginal episode includes:


Hangers
Broadway
Britney Spears
Laundry vs. clothes
Catholicism
Madonna vs. whore
Martin Scorsese
High five / down low too slow
The D.A. hairstyle
Lenny Briscoe
Jerry Orbach, Broadway star
The definition of infatuation
Hiccups
Jascha Heifetz
Tuba farts
Amos's Patented Panty-Dropper
Helium balloons in Burbank
Balloon day in church
Cleveland Balloonfest 1986
Liquid mercury
Pirate ship ride
Pro-Butt vs. Am-Butt
All of the hiccup cures
Pausing the recording
Turtlenecks
Syrup bottles
Star Trek: The Next Generation
The End Pin
International Cello Competition
Chicken wire cages
Hot air balloons
The Montgolfier Brothers
The Hindenburg
The Last of Us
News balloons


Talk to Us!

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

It's our first podcast of 2023! And we're so happy to discover that this strip still makes no goddamned sense at all. We begin our twelve-strip journey (yes! twelve!) with a customer service rep responding to texts from what turns out to be Thorax. Thorax is looking for overalls in XXXXL-Tall, so naturally his path to purchasing said clothing begins with texting a customer service person. And once he finds out it's a lady -- with the doubly unlikely name of Verity Dupee -- Thorax begins his harrassment. We're sorry, we totally mean romance. Romance as defined by Brooke McEldowney. Verity seems totally annoyed wiht Thorax. Who wouldn't be? But in the end she quits her job and travels to New Hampshire to hand deliver the overalls to Thorax, because she's in love with him. Right up until he tells her he's from another planet.


The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Thorax's romance/stalking of Verity Dupee begins right here.
Verity DEFINITELY seems like she might call the cops on Thorax right here.
For some reason, Verity is charmed by Thorax and visits him in New Hampshire right here.
Verity is ready to get it on with Thorax but he ruins it by saying he's from another planet right here.


This XXXL-tall episode includes:


Deep sleep
Smoked pepper cheddar cheese
Corn chowder with poblano pepper soup
Von's/Safeway and Ralph's/Kroger
The old Soup Hole
Dollar signs vs money signs
Customer service
The definition of verity.
Raising Arizona
Watt's Mill Theater in Kansas City
Columbo
Poise pads
Van der Graaf generator
XXXXL-Tall bib overalls
Strawberries
Paladins
Thorax's home planet
Murder, She Wrote
Love letters
The Fonz


Talk to Us!

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

It's our last podcast of 2022! So to celebrate the holidays, we focus on Christmas this episode. Despite striking out at Halloween and Thanksgiving, we give the holidays another shot and take a look to see if Brooke McEldowney has anything joyful or celebratory to say about Christmas. The answer is, of course, mostly no. We're exposed to a very weird "pickle leg," an inappropriately sexy ballet Santa, Edda's sexy knees, and there's even a fun Hitchcockian cameo from McEldowney himself. By "fun," we mean very, very confusing. Ultimately, Amos and Edda show us they have some serious Santa cosplay kink that they can't resist the gravitational pull of, even when their bedraggled-looking twins are nearby. Our exploration ends with McEldowney saying (through Edda) "God bless cartoonists." Because of course he does. It's just like the end of_** A Christmas Carol**_, only if Dickens was a pompous a*****e. Which is our way of saying, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We'll see you in 2023!


The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Edda dances, Seth becomes Sexy Santa, and Edda has sexy knees are here.
Seth's roommate hits on Edda and barfs and Brooke McEldowney makes an appearance are here.
Amos f***s pregnant Santa and Polly & Lolly hate Christmas are here.
And the world's most dismal White Christmas is here.


This episode's jolly journey includes:


Cottonelle toilet paper
Pandemic preparation
Peanut butter
Can peanut butter go bad?
Whimsical hydration bottles
Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage.
The classic Grape Stomping Lady fall.
The news tease jet pack fail.
"Effing Under the Christmas Tree!"
Sudden Onset Baby Leg
Pickle leg
"Buon Natale" by Brave Combo.
Conversion therapy
Cindy Lou Who
Cock rings
Shame
Underprivileged kids
Uncle Fester fakes a neck injury on The Brady Bunch, but Mike outwits him.
Knee fetish
Mistletoe
Warner Brothers cartoons
Daffy Duck in "Duck Amuck"
Pregnant Santa
Turtlenecks
White Christmas


Talk to Us!

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

We flash back to World War II and immediately find ourselves dealing with two naked people in a...pond? ...a lake? ...a magical puddle? It's very unclear what kind of body of water. Anyway, the skinny-dippers are confronted with Nazis. We don't really know who we're dealing with at first. But the lady scares off some Nazis with her "terrifying downstairs business." We later discover that these mysterious people are Bill O'Malley, Juliette's stepfather, and Martine Clocqueur. Naturally, Martine is a beautiful double agent. We're just surprised she's not also a talented singer, dancer, or musician. Bill has a head wound which has resulted in amnesia. But when he and Martine make out, under the water of course, he remembers kissing someone else. That person is Edna, Juliette's mom, who is also a spy. Who isn't? Apparently Bill promised to get engaged with Edna after the war. Martine isn't so concerned about that because it's wartime and during wartime "everything we hold honorable has to be cured in salt and sliced very thin." Like that's a famous saying or something, which it isn't. What she means is that it's totally cool for them to have sex because it's war and, you know, only wartime rules apply. It's a little surprising that we don't see them doing it, all things considered, but she does press her "upsetting business" up against him a lot in that pond/lake/puddle.


The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

The "back-up beave" is introduced, the Nazis cavort away, and Billy thinks about Martine's "downstairs business" are here.
Billy and Martine make out under the water, Billy remembers Edna (or has his penis eaten by fish), Martine recommends they have sex despite Edna are here.
Martine throws herself at Billy and then slices all honorable things paper thin are here.


This episode's terrifying & confusing journey includes:


UCLA
KU / MU
Christmas
Sausage
Babe
Talent Show
Christmas cookies
Professional voice work
Liz Lemon shoots her Dealbreaker intro on 30 Rock.
World War II
Nazis
Amateur butt vs. pro butt
The Back-Up Beaver
Sexy Lady Godzilla
Crystal Gayle / Emmylou Harris / Loretta Lynn
The Nutcracker
"What are cows?"
The opening of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark.


Talk to Us!

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE