34 episodes

In 1993, Brooke McEldowney began writing and drawing the newspaper comic strip 9 Chickweed Lane. Nearly 30 years later, it's still going strong. For some dumb reason, Brooke Dillman and Jeff Drake read the comic strip, even though it only makes them angry. This is their podcast, certainly one of the worst ideas for a podcast ever: a podcast about a newspaper comic strip that (as far as they know) no one reads. This is 9 CHICKWEED RAGE.

9 Chickweed Rage Jeff Drake, Brooke Dillman

    • Comedy
    • 5.0 • 7 Ratings

In 1993, Brooke McEldowney began writing and drawing the newspaper comic strip 9 Chickweed Lane. Nearly 30 years later, it's still going strong. For some dumb reason, Brooke Dillman and Jeff Drake read the comic strip, even though it only makes them angry. This is their podcast, certainly one of the worst ideas for a podcast ever: a podcast about a newspaper comic strip that (as far as they know) no one reads. This is 9 CHICKWEED RAGE.

    034: The Wormhole Is a Franchise

    034: The Wormhole Is a Franchise

    For some reason, Edda or Amos (here sometimes referred to as Edna and Otis) has gone through a wormhole and now Polly and Lolly are older. How much older? Well, we think The Master intended them to be some specific age (probably because he couldn't wait for them to reach the age of consent, because he is a monster), but the way they are drawn from strip to strip makes it impossible to tell what age that is. Are they supposed to be in their early 20s? Mid-40's? 30s? Also, is there a reason (other than poor execution of course) that they both now have black hair which is going gray? So very f*****g weird. There seems to be no reason for Polly and Lolly to have "time traveled" from an "alternative reality" other than to come raid Edda's closet for dresses. (EDITOR'S NOTE: it's ALWAYS alternate reality, no one has ever said alternative reality...until now.) Of course, daughters wearing their mom's clothes is a regular thing in this strip and it ALWAYS makes the mom mad. For some fucking reason. There is so much creepiness and grossness here that it was upsetting for us, including (but not limited to) the strip about Polly and Lolly as children talking about how they enjoy watching their parents dream about having sex. So, yeah, totally normal shit going on here, guys. Look, on this episode, it probably seems like we're just jumping into the middle of an ongoing story while ignoring the necessary prelude. And in a way we are. But here's the thing: We go back and do the research and Ol' Bee Mac-El-Dee plopped us down here with no real explanation. Because he's Just. That. Good. There's a sequence a couple of weeks before this where Edda is launched off a swing into space, but that's as close to a logical explanation as you're ever going to get in this god-forsaken comic.


    The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

    You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here, or on Instagram by clicking here.


    This episode, which exists in an alternative reality, includes:


    Running in Griffith Park
    The Perfect Crime
    Time-Jumping
    Edna & Otis
    Twins
    Prematurely graying
    Coors Light "...and twins" commercial
    Victorian Wasp Waist
    The Ol' Ben Franklin
    Weird hands/crab claws
    The Ring girl
    Beaver shots
    Singin' in the Rain
    Boris Pasternak
    Alternate realities
    Little Lord Fauntleroy
    Playing jacks
    Improper interrobang usage
    Mannequin legs
    Stilts


    Talk to Us!

    Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
    We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE. And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage.

    • 1 hr 35 min
    033: I'm Surveying You For Alternative Kiss Sites

    033: I'm Surveying You For Alternative Kiss Sites

    What better way to start the new year than to take a look at the first Chickweed Lanes of 2024? Well, I guess it might be better to NOT look at them at all. But that's really not on the table for us, now, is it? Please excuse Jeff sounding like he's broadcasting from inside a tin can. He was literally inside a tin can. Once again, get ready to enjoy some smooth jazz segues, because the technical problems again befall us. But we soldier on and find ourselves back in the world of ear-kissing and the familiar restaurant booths with seat-backs of varying heights (and nothing on the tables of course). Xiulan insists that her husband Hugh kiss Edda's ear, which he does without hesitation. Polly and Lolly practice piano, which for some fucking reason bothers Edda. There's more about kissing ears, then Amos decides to kiss Edda's neck, which is so very difficult what with all of the f*****g turtlenecks everywhere. Then we end our episode with more Polly and Lolly. It's shocking (or is it?) that a random sampling of the first 8 strips from 2024 give us all of the things that are so tiresome and annoying about the strip. That, we suppose, is the genius of Brooke Mac-El-Dee.


    The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

    You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here, or on Instagram by clicking here.


    This fully turtlenecked episode includes:


    Jazz!
    Lalo Schifrin
    Champagne
    Turtlenecks!
    Greedo from Star Wars
    Rectum? Hell, it killed 'em both!
    McEldowney Ellipsis
    Ear kissing
    Even more turtlenecks!
    Piano practice
    So many turtlenecks!
    Kissing your Ben Franklin
    The jazz flute from Anchorman
    Full William Frawley
    Connect Four
    Winnie the Pooh
    Attack of the 50-Foot Woman


    Talk to Us!

    Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
    We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE. And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage.

    • 1 hr 14 min
    032: You Sneezed All Over Julius Caesar Dithers

    032: You Sneezed All Over Julius Caesar Dithers

    After becoming convinced that Brooke Mac-El-Dee himself is listening to this podcast, we take a deep dive into his poor history with the ellipsis (and other punctuation). You see, in one strip, he makes a point of "educating" everyone about the use of an ellipsis. According to The Master, it is only used to indicated omitted words. And that is not only not true, it is also not how he has EVER used the ellipsis in his own work. In fact, we're not sure he has used it that way even once. So we go back through the strips we've already discussed and actually count the periods. (So many periods.) We also talk about a handful of strips where he "has fun" with punctuation with "hilarious" results. All in all, a fitting way to end the year.


    The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

    You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here, or on Instagram by clicking here.


    This ..... episode includes:


    Sneezing
    Diet Cokes
    Christmas
    Back trouble
    riding a Segway
    spot-eyed cats
    semi-colon misuse
    Ross & Rachel
    Sam & Diane
    Katniss & Peeta
    motorboating
    Eddie Izzard talks about Englebert Humperdinck
    Underwood Farms
    Goat habitrail
    Goat poop
    Welcome Back, Kotter
    Peanuts
    Comma splice
    Kilroy Was Here
    Tiger Beat
    Leif Garrett
    Shaun Cassidy
    William Frawley's pants
    Mowgli from The Jungle Book
    The Dark Crystal


    Talk to Us!

    Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
    We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE. And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage.

    • 1 hr 44 min
    031: Like Hookers Short on Crazy Money

    031: Like Hookers Short on Crazy Money

    It's the big day for Xiulan Ha'Penny Yuan and Hugh Portwhistle Godalming. For some reason, Xiulan has chosen Edda to be one of her two bridesmaids, because of course and why not? Look, Edda is a small part of a wedding that isn't her wedding, so naturally she's furious that someone else is getting all the attention. She has a plan to not only "go commando" underneath her cheongsam, but to "slink up the aisle like hookers short on crazy money." She thinks this would be a fun and funny thing to do at someone else's wedding. And I guess we are supposed to be charmed by this. Oh, that Edda! Typical Edda! What's not to love about her? Seth warns her and Ginger, Xiulan's friend and the other bridesmaid, not to do what they're planning, and Edda gets very mad about it. Xiulan yells at the two of them on the way down the aisle. Edda then sticks her tongue out at Seth, again, on the way down the aisle. Once at the altar, Hugh makes exclaiming "cor lumme" when he sees Xiulan. She makes fun of him for that. At the altar. But then tells him that she and her bridesmaids (who are sitting in the pews now?) are all going commando. They talk about this for a while. At the altar. Instead of getting the wedding going. The priest interrupts and then reveals he has also gone commando. We discover that other people have gone commando too. Then for some reason the priest gets mad about it.


    The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

    You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here or on Instagram by clicking here.


    This completely underwear-free episode includes:


    wing-tip collars
    pet collars
    "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" by Britney Spears
    Dutch angles!
    Cheongsams
    Very bad hand drawings
    The McEldowney Ellipsis!
    Going commando
    Pheromones
    Pig Latin
    Ealing Comedies
    The Church of England
    Cockney Slang
    Adam Godley
    Astronomical ellipsis usage!
    Reading glasses
    Marty Feldman
    Bing Crosby


    Talk to Us!

    Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
    We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE. And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage.

    • 1 hr 41 min
    030: Me Not So Hot With Scream

    030: Me Not So Hot With Scream

    Despite repeated mysterious technical difficulties, Brooke and Jeff persevered to bring you the 30th installment of this very important podcast. Was it worth all of the trouble? Of course the answer is no, probably not. But we begin with the aftermath of a date between Gil and Janice, the Nicolette Cignet photographer and Edda's friend and rival from the dance company we met way back in Episode 24: They Wanted You to Model Because of Sitzfleisch Allure. Gil is getting advice from Seth and Mark and tells them that he did not in fact bone Janice at the end of the date (which was their expectation), but instead kissed her on the left corner of her mouth. This move, according to Mark, is akin to "lighting a sensual fuse." Edda doesn't believe it, but Amos tries it and transports them to a series of famous romantic movies. First La Dolce Vita, then From Here to Eternity, Casablanca, It Happened One Night (which Jeff mistakenly places in 1939 instead of 1934, sorry!), before veering to North By Northwest and settling into the Tarzan canon. There are so many Tarzan strips, guys. It's all very, very stupid. But we soldiered on through multiple glitches and made it happen. Just for you! Also, Jeff tries really hard to explain Schrödinger's Cat to make a metaphorical point, only to fail in his explanation and then to fail to remember exactly why he was trying to make the point in the first place.


    The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

    You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here or on Instagram by clicking here.


    This kiss-induced dream episode includes:


    KU vs. MU
    Mullets
    Coup d'etat
    Bartleby the Scrivener
    Fletch talks about the filth and gunk
    Nicolette Sheridan/Nicolette Cignet
    Kevin Smith
    George Santos and Steve Bannon
    Form-fitting turtleneck mini-dress
    DTF
    Turtlenecks
    Ellipses!
    Ezio Pinza singing "Some Enchanted Evening" from Some Enchanted Evening
    Records on 78
    The Library of Congress
    Ball-cupping
    Beavers
    The Trevi Fountain from La Dolce Vita
    Gumby
    Form-Fitting Neck-Brace Turtleneck
    From Here to Eternity
    Casablanca
    It Happened One Night
    North By Northwest
    Tarzan
    Obstetrics
    Laurel & Hardy
    Schrödinger's Cat explained so much better than Jeff tried to


    Talk to Us!

    Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
    We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

    • 1 hr 39 min
    029: Dr. Greene Inhaled His Cough Drop

    029: Dr. Greene Inhaled His Cough Drop

    Well, we've been gone for two months but we're back! And if you thought that this stupid comic strip wasn't still stupid, boy, are you in for a rude awakening! All the same old shit is still there: turtlenecks, Dutch angles, references to starlets of the '30s and '40s, no backgrounds, the McEldowney ellipsis! Oh, how did we survive all these weeks without these? Anyway, this stupid storyline is about Juliette and her boyfriend Elliott, whom everyone hates. (Including us!) One version of this story would be to say that he shows up to propose to her and ends up in the hospital. But it's all so f*****g convoluted and the story changes with each new development. At first, Juliette is pretty confident that Elliott might pop the question, but she's not certain, so she wears a sexy dress to help him "pop." But later we discover that he proposes to her on a weekly basis. Then, we find out that the minute Elliott walked through the door, he inhaled a cough drop and needed medical attention. But later, we're told that he didn't inhale the cough drop until after she said yes. But even later, we're told that her dress caused him to have "an episode." And a doctor tells us that he inhaled a cough drop but then had an arrhythmia. Anyway, none of it makes any sense, especially the part where Elliott ends up in the ICU for more than a day. To confuse things even more, Brooke and Jeff talk about the ICU like it's the Emergency Room. But then again, that seems to be interchangeable with Brooke Mac-El-Dee as well. Later, a cat motorboats Juliette's boobs. And in the end, no one really gives a shit about what happened to Elliott because they're too busy talking about Juliette's dress. Spoiler alert: She's the sexiest person in the ICU and she loves it!


    The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

    Edda and Juliette mention Jean Harlow, Juliette promises to make Elliott "pop," Elliott chokes on his cough drop, and a doctor stares at Juliette's boobs are here.
    The "lethal, shrink-wrap, halter-top gown," Edda getting mad because her gay roommate thinks her mom is sexier, and Juliette looking hot (and enjoying it) in the ICU are here.
    A cat motorboats Juliette's boobs, Amos talks about his fetid corpse, and Elliott somehow on his deathbed are here.


    This lethal, shrink-wrapped episode includes:


    Dive, Dove, Doven?
    Phones, both corded and cordless
    Auntie Mame
    Turtlenecks!
    Jean Harlow
    Fisher-Price Little People
    Dutch Angles!
    The character design from Shark Tale.
    No backgrounds!
    Cough drops
    Jolly Ranchers
    Arrhythmia
    Chekhov's Gun
    Les Nessman's bandages
    The McEldowney ellipsis!
    Crystal Gayle
    Being motorboated by a cat
    The ICU


    Talk to Us!

    Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
    We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

    • 1 hr 30 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
7 Ratings

7 Ratings

LMM285$ ,

More like this please!

I’m glad to see that there’s a podcast devoted to this comic strip I love to hate. I hope you’ll be doing the Big Ex-Gay Wedding of 2021 and the Great Belgian Deflowering arc (ie when Edda and Amos have sex for the first time during an interminable cello competition). The only criticism I would make is that you should look up some biographical information about Brooke McEldowney himself, because it will either put things in perspective or make things even more confusing. He is married with children and appears to be a fairly conservative Catholic. Maybe this is why the 9CL has devolved into a soft core fetish strip, but he seems completely oblivious to it.

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