95: Trusting God to do his work. Unpacking unhealthy beliefs when your kids leave your faith.

This episode with Jill Freestone as a guest is part 2 of a series about when our children leave our faith tradition.   What do we do as parents?  How do we unpack some of the unhealthy narratives we've absorbed over the years about our role as parents in our kids faith journey?   What things have been said over pulpits in years past that have made us feel like if we are just righteous enough our kids won't leave our religion?

This episode actually focuses heavily on some of the doctrine and cultural beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and how they have affected parents reactions to their children leaving the church for generations.  How can we have healtheir responses and relationships with our children who leave?  Why is nurturing and building that relationship so important?  

What is our job as parents? 

• to love, nurture, teach (not control outcome)

• to do our own internal work

• shift from a fear based relationship with God/ church to 

  agency/love/ infinite grace and compassion/ eternal progression

• Honor agency and choice
• Focus on connection over control
• Respect boundaries
• Expand our perspective
• Recognize that just because we teach principles doesn't mean they will follow them

Most parents and kids are operating from a Fear and control based relationship with God themselves as well - NOT AGENCY

Do we believe in a compassionate grace filled God? 

Do we believe in an infinite atonement and eternal progression? 

When and where does God’s compassion and grace end? 

• never

What do our Heavenly Parents really want for Their children? 

• Growth and to practice love

Reteach grace and atonement 

• This is essential as well as 

Can we stop putting God in a box and truly trust God enough to take care of our children? 

Your kids have a Savior and it's not you.

Teens and young adults questioning and pulling away from their parents is a health and normal part of development.  Even older adult children who were never given the freedoms to question and experiment and pull away may do that often at midlife.

God is in relentless pursuit of us and eternal progression is the good news of the gospel and of jesus coming to earth to heal every single one of us.