Be in a Great Relationship with Yourself, First

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Show Script

24 sec

Be in a great  relationship with yourself first. Are the struggles in your relationship patterns about you, or about somebody else ?

This idea would have been helpful for me when I was younger. I’m looking for my other person who knows themselves really well and is open to knowing themselves well. 

Nobody completes you. They support you. They come along side of you. 

1:15 min

If you’re struggle is being single and you’re wondering why you have triggers, red flags, hang ups, and internal conflict. It’s because you don’t feel whole. There’s a lack you feel. There’s something about you that is missing.

When you feel better about yourself, confident and like you are feeling your best self, it will seem a lot easier for your partner to show up. You’re not so concerned. You’re not needy. You’re not worried. You’re not in conflict whether you’re person is going to show up. 

Don’t give away the end. Find out what you need to feel whole and healthy again.  Define who you are first. Then you can make a list of a million things of what you want in a partner. Until you know who you are you’re not going to be center or clear on who you want to have in your life as your other 

2:25 min

If you’re in a relationship with someone and there’s conflict. Your partner is just showing your inner conflict. If we can loo at ourselves and see what we can change. If we can see our partner as something of a reflection to understand ourself better. When we first fall in love we really just see and feel a reflection of who we are. So we feel better about who we are. 

Overtime, if a relationship deteriorates one unloving behavior at a time, we start to to loose a sense of ourselves. We start to loose our way. Something feels off. So when we feel good about who we are and where we want to go, things start to change. When we feel different we start to change our perspective. When we change our perspective, we reframe the story. 

3:30 min

I’m not looking for my other half. I’m looking for another person who is whole. When I see that person they are just a gift showing me how I can better show up in the world. They are a reflection of how I can be better. They are a reflection of how I choose to be. 

I drove for a ride share company for a while. At the end of the ride a guy in his 20s asked me why his girlfriend thinks he’s always going to cheat on her. I didn’t have a lot of time to explain, but I said, “You know that’s really about her and not about you.”   

We bring our fears and struggles from the past into our relationships that aren’t always true.  Because we don’t always have a great relationship within ourselves, and understand that, we bring our traumas, pains, wounds, and frustrations in and project that onto our partner. 

4:35 min

So we need to become healthy and understand ourselves better, why we operate, how we think and feel, and then claim ownership over those things. Until we get clear about that, we’re probably going to continue to make a mess of things. 

So I don’t really want another half. I want someone who feels whole. And I want that to remind me that I feel whole and complete.  And I don’t need the acceptance or approval of someone else. I don’t need that gross codependent, needy thing that says I need someone else to complete me. 

5:15 min

So many of us form believes as little kids.  We watch other relationships and the way other people behave, and we form conclusions with our developing amygdala. The