Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation Shelby Milford

In episode 86 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, Shelby Milford delves into an unexplored yet ubiquitous topic: handling s****y days and the difficult choices they present, especially while living apart from your beloved children.
 She opens up about her own experiences, including the complexities of her relationship with her daughter and father, especially around her birthday. Shelby shares insights on how she navigated feelings of disappointment and frustration, highlighting the importance of acknowledging s****y situations without allowing them to dominate one's emotions. Through personal storytelling, she emphasizes the importance of :

recognizing the power of choice
Be conscious about how we perceive & respond to our circumstances
acknowledging and owning our feelings, even in the face of adversity.

Shelby encourages her audience to apply this perspective to their challenges, promoting a sense of empowerment and resilience.  She emphasizes the value of giving equal airtime to positive possibilities and owning the power of personal choice to navigate through life's inevitable ups and downs.

The episode concludes with a reminder for listeners to engage with the podcast community through Facebook live sessions, ratings, and reviews.

00:00 Welcome to Beyond the High Road Podcast
00:33 Navigating Shitty Days: A Personal Tale
01:39 Birthday Blues and Family Dynamics
04:33 Confronting Narcissistic Traits in Family
06:59 The Fallout of Changed Birthday Plans
08:48 Choosing How to Respond to Life's Challenges
19:59 Empowerment Through Choice in Difficult Times
26:50 Finding Growth in Adversity
35:45 Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

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In episode 85 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, host Shelby Milford discusses the challenges of feeling scrutinized and misunderstood, a topic inspired by her personal experiences and conversations with fellow alienated moms.
She reflects on her own journey, starting from a point of feeling misunderstood to focusing on personal resilience in the face of criticism. Shelby highlights two influential books: 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k' by Mark Manson, which helped her adopt a carefree approach to criticism, and 'The Courage to Be Disliked', which premises on Adlerian psychology, advocating for the detachment from others' opinions for personal happiness.
The episode further delves into the importance of not allowing fear or the need for external validation to dictate one's actions, encouraging listeners to pursue their passions despite the potential for scrutiny or disapproval. Shelby's message is one of empowerment, urging her audience to embrace their unique identities, pursue their passions, and not to be silenced by fear or judgment.
Finally, she addresses an incident where she was publicly criticized on social media, using it as a case point to illustrate how to deal with negative scrutiny without compromising one's self-worth.

00:00 Welcome to Episode 85: Navigating Scrutiny and Misunderstanding
00:29 Exploring the Roots of Feeling Misunderstood
02:54 The Journey of Self-Discovery Through Audible Books
06:48 The Impact of Mark Manson's Work on Self-Empowerment
09:18 Discovering 'The Courage to Be Disliked' and Adlerian Psychology
17:02 Facing Scrutiny and the Power of Self-Expression
26:56 Dealing with Criticism and Embracing Your True Self
40:29 Concluding Thoughts: Embrace Your Voice and Overcome Fear

Join the Private Facebook Group!
Books: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck
The Courage To Be Disliked

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This is a recording from the Facebook Live on Friday when we had a little story time! I thought y'all would benefit from it too. In the episode, I share a memory from a dark period of time for me (Mother's Day 2017), and then tie it together with this week's theme.



I hope you love it. ♥️




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In episode 84 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, host Shelby Milford discusses the challenges and emotions surrounding family-oriented holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day, especially for target parents of alienation. Shelby shares personal anecdotes about the significance of these holidays and the memories associated with them, reflecting on how such times can be particularly difficult. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating these difficult emotions but encourages listeners to also focus on self-healing and empowerment. Shelby advises on auditing one's life for negative influences, whether it be people or social media, and suggests making intentional choices about whom and what we allow to influence our mindset and actions. She highlights the distinction between fighting against something versus fighting for something, advocating for a proactive and positive approach in life, including the path toward reconnection with our children. Shelby's message underlines the significance of self-care, adjusting one's mindset, and the power of influence in overcoming the challenges of parental alienation and enhancing one's overall well-being.



01:00 Welcome to Beyond the High Road: Navigating Emotional Seasons

01:22 Reflecting on Mother's Day and Seasonal Memories

03:52 Embracing the Emotional Journey of Motherhood

04:45 Navigating Parental Alienation: Insights and Support

05:58 The Power of Influence: Shaping Your Beliefs and Actions

06:32 Redefining Challenges: Fighting For vs. Fighting Against

08:44 The Impact of Social Media and External Influences

19:52 Auditing Your Life: Identifying and Managing Influences

26:52 The Impact of Social Media on Perception and Action

27:49 Embracing the Role Beyond Alienation

28:26 The Power of Self-Advocacy and Community Support

30:23 Choosing to Fight for Reconnection

31:56 The Long Game: Patience, Persistence, and Unconditional Love

33:22 Self-Care and Inner Work: The Foundation of Empowerment

34:53 Redefining Success: From Immediate Wins to Long-Term Goals

39:31 Influence and Environment: Curating Your Circle for Growth

42:01 Mother's Day Reflections: Beyond Traditional Expectations

44:08 Closing Thoughts and Encouragement


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The dreaded deed of forgiveness: the original ”F” word, to an alienated parent.  



In this episode, Shelby shares insights on the pivotal role of forgiveness in healing from  the pain parental alienation.  She discusses the efficacy of family systems therapy over reunification therapy, drawing from advice received from a former attorney. The episode delves into the complexities of forgiveness, including Shelby's personal journey and struggles with forgiving those involved in alienating her from her child. She emphasizes that forgiveness is not about condoning others' actions but about freeing oneself from anger and resentment. Shelby talks about the importance of recognizing the humanity in those who have hurt us and understanding their actions to move towards forgiveness. She also touches upon the concept of resentment being closely linked to envy, rather than anger. The episode guides listeners on a path to healing, advocating for acknowledging and releasing resentment to reclaim one's life and break the cycle of intergenerational trauma.

The two articles referenced:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-of-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/202305/resistrefuse-dynamics-in-divorce-how-can-they

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-of-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/202308/treating-child-anxiety-in-cases-of-parental

Mending Fences Book

https://www.amazon.com/Mending-Fences-Collaborative-Cognitive-Behavioral-Reunification/dp/1950057186



00:00 Welcome to Beyond the High Road Podcast

00:14 A Message from a Trusted Attorney

01:47 Insights on Family Systems Therapy

03:25 The Power of Forgiveness in Healing

10:11 Understanding Resentment and Its Roots

13:20 The Journey Towards Forgiveness

23:50 Embracing Forgiveness for Freedom

35:59 Final Thoughts on Forgiveness and Moving Forward


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I remember the first time I heard about reunification therapy... I thought, "OMG, FINALLY! There is a reasonable action to counter to all the damage that has been done! " . I was thrilled by the notion that maybe, just maybe, my case would begin to turn around.

After a little research (and a lot of legwork), I was able to have a judge order the therapy for my daughter and me. I was sure that this would be the answer to my prayers. A few sessions, and we'd be right back to snugging on the couch watching movies before bedtime.

Or so I thought...

In this episode:


debunking the common perception that reunification therapy is a scam
varying success rates due to numerous factors outside the control of the targeted parent and/or the therapist.
the importance of managing expectations,
the inability to influence the actions of the alienating parent
the critical role of self-awareness and empowerment in navigating the difficult journey of re-establishing connections with alienated children.

Don't forget to sign up for the live event on April 27th! https://www.beyondthehighroad.com/NeutralizeMyPain



00:00 Welcome to Beyond the High Road Podcast

00:11 Announcement: Upcoming Live Event

01:04 The Challenges of Target Parents in Alienation

05:56 A Deep Dive into Reunification Therapy

12:55 Empowerment Over Fear: Making Decisions as a Target Parent

24:11 Closing Remarks and Event Reminder


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