It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life! Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way? In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid. And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.

  1. Zero to Sixty: Understanding Why Some People Can't Control Their Anger

    6D AGO

    Zero to Sixty: Understanding Why Some People Can't Control Their Anger

    Understanding Anger and High Conflict Personalities Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into the complex relationship between anger and high conflict personalities. This illuminating episode explores why some people experience instant rage while others maintain better emotional control, particularly in challenging interpersonal situations. The Science Behind Anger Management Recent research from Ohio State University challenges common beliefs about anger management techniques. Contrary to popular advice, activities like venting or intense physical exercise may not effectively reduce anger. Instead, the key lies in lowering physiological arousal through specific calming techniques. Bill and Megan explore these findings while discussing the brain's role in emotional regulation, particularly focusing on the relationship between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Different Personalities, Different Anger Patterns The episode provides valuable insights into how various personality types experience and express anger differently. Bill explains how people with different personality traits may process and display anger in distinct ways, from calculated responses to uncontrolled emotional outbursts. This understanding is crucial for developing effective interaction strategies. Connection and Anger Management Bill and Megan discuss the surprising effectiveness of human connection in managing anger. Whether through eye contact, using someone's name, or engaging in group activities, the power of connection emerges as a key factor in de-escalating high conflict situations. Questions we answer in this episode: Why do some people go from calm to enraged so quickly?How do different personality types experience and express anger?What anger management techniques actually work?How does early childhood development affect adult anger patterns?What role does human connection play in managing anger?Key Takeaways: Not all traditional anger management techniques are effectiveDifferent personality types express anger in distinct waysHuman connection can be a powerful tool for de-escalating angerEarly childhood experiences significantly impact adult anger patternsUnderstanding anger triggers is crucial for better managementThis episode provides essential insights for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities or seeking to better understand anger management. Through research-backed discussion and practical examples, Bill and Megan offer valuable strategies for managing anger in both personal and professional contexts. Links & Other Notes BOOKS Our New World of Adult BulliesThe Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human EmotionsARTICLES A meta-analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage?Breathe, don’t vent: Turning down the heat is key to managing angerOUR NEWSLETTER Get our updates.SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS Invite us to speak.OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Catching Up (03:43) - Anger and Ways to Get Rid of It (07:12) - HCP Types and Anger (12:23) - Conscious vs. Unconscious (13:33) - Anger and the Brain (18:20) - Learning Self Restraint (19:54) - Study Highlights (21:23) - Difficult for HCPs (23:09) - More Research (30:59) - Archaelogy of the Mind (38:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Being Assertive Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    40 min
  2. Big Emotions Explained: Understanding Emotion Dysregulation and BPD

    MAR 13

    Big Emotions Explained: Understanding Emotion Dysregulation and BPD

    Understanding Emotion Dysregulation and BPD In this enlightening episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore emotion dysregulation, particularly focusing on its connection to borderline personality disorder (BPD). Fresh from his New Zealand trip, Bill joins Megan to share expert insights into why some individuals experience intense emotional reactions and how this impacts relationships. The Brain-Emotion Connection Bill and Megan delve into the neurological aspects of emotion dysregulation, discussing how brain structure influences emotional responses. They explore research about brain development and its role in managing emotions, offering hope through evidence that therapeutic interventions can create positive changes. From Childhood Through Adolescence The discussion examines how genetic predisposition, early childhood experiences, and parent-child relationships shape emotional regulation abilities. Bill and Megan provide valuable insights for parents struggling to distinguish between typical teenage behavior and potentially concerning patterns, while exploring how media and social networks can reinforce unhealthy emotional patterns. Questions we answer in this episode: What is emotion dysregulation and how does it relate to BPD?How can parents distinguish between normal teenage emotions and concerning behavior?What role does brain structure play in emotional regulation?Can emotional regulation skills be improved through therapy?How do early childhood experiences impact emotional regulation?Key Takeaways: Emotion dysregulation is a key component of BPD but can be managed with proper treatmentBrain structure plays a crucial role in emotional regulationEarly childhood experiences significantly impact emotional regulation abilitiesThe teenage years present a critical window for developing emotional regulation skillsMedia and social networks can reinforce unhealthy emotional patternsThis episode provides essential insights for parents, mental health professionals, and anyone seeking to understand emotional regulation better. Bill and Megan offer practical, science-based information while maintaining a compassionate perspective on managing big emotions. Links & Other Notes COACHING & CONSULTATION Consultation (1-hour)Coaching: Live LabBOOKS The Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for FamiliesCOURSES Conflict Influencer™ ClassHigh Conflict Legal Dispute Resolver CertificationARTICLES Keep the Conflict Small (with managed emotions)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Emotion Disregulation (02:13) - Catching Up (05:49) - Big Emotions and BPD (07:26) - Correlations (08:22) - Quick Shifts (17:49) - Anger Management Classes (18:58) - Teen Years (21:11) - Deciding What’s Normal (27:36) - If You’re the Parent (29:29) - Media Influence (32:24) - Bottom Line (32:56) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Anger Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    34 min
  3. Calm Before Think: Mastering Emotional Management in Professional Settings

    MAR 6

    Calm Before Think: Mastering Emotional Management in Professional Settings

    Managing Workplace Emotions: From Reactivity to Resilience In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter is joined by Cherolyn Knapp, a workplace conflict expert from the High Conflict Institute. Together, they explore the crucial topic of emotional management in professional settings, offering practical strategies for leaders and employees to handle heightened emotions effectively. Cherolyn brings her extensive experience as a lawyer, mediator, and workplace investigator to provide valuable insights into managing difficult situations and maintaining professional relationships. Understanding Emotional ContagionMegan and Cherolyn discuss how emotions spread in workplace settings - similar to WiFi - and the importance of being aware of this phenomenon. They emphasize the distinction between experiencing emotions and reacting to them, highlighting how unmanaged emotions can escalate conflicts and disrupt workplace harmony. The Power of Emotional RegulationThe conversation delves into practical techniques for emotional regulation, including the crucial "calm before think" approach. They explore how taking even a brief moment to regulate emotions can lead to better decision-making and more productive interactions. The discussion includes specific strategies like grounding exercises and positive self-talk that can be implemented immediately in workplace settings. Time Investment in Emotional ManagementA significant portion of the episode focuses on why investing time in emotional management isn't just beneficial - it's essential for workplace efficiency. Megan and Cherolyn explain how taking short breaks to address emotional situations can actually save time in the long run by preventing larger conflicts from developing. Questions we answer in this episode: What does unmanaged emotion look like in the workplace?How can leaders help team members who are experiencing emotional outbursts?What immediate steps can anyone take to regain emotional control?Why is emotional regulation crucial for workplace success?How can we break the cycle of emotional contagion?Key Takeaways: Emotions are contagious in workplace settingsBreathing exercises can quickly restore calm and rational thinkingGrounding techniques using five senses help manage emotional reactionsPositive self-talk is a powerful tool for emotional regulationSmall time investments in emotional management yield significant returnsThis episode provides invaluable insights for anyone looking to improve their emotional management skills in professional settings. Whether you're a leader managing team dynamics or an employee navigating workplace relationships, the practical strategies and real-world examples offered by Megan and Cherolyn provide a comprehensive toolkit for maintaining emotional equilibrium in challenging situations. Links & Other Notes TRAININGLEADERS TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Leaders TrainingCOACHES TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Coaches TrainingARTICLESKeep the Conflict Small! (With Managed Emotions)How to Avoid Getting Hooked by High Conflict BehaviorBOOKSCalming Upset People with EAR5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Managing Emotions (02:17) - Welcome Back, Cherolyn! (02:53) - Cherolyn’s Background (05:27) - Where and How to Display Emotions (07:12) - Our Feelings and How We Express Them (08:54) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:13) - Bringing Someone Down (15:54) - Things to Avoid Doing (18:54) - Take the Time (20:51) - Grounding (24:26) - Positive Self-Talk (28:03) - New Ways for Work Coaching (30:36) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline Personality Disorder Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    32 min
  4. When Home Hurts: Managing High Conflict's Impact on Your Career

    FEB 27

    When Home Hurts: Managing High Conflict's Impact on Your Career

    When High Conflict at Home Impacts the Workplace In this powerful episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore how personal conflicts and challenging situations at home can significantly affect workplace performance and mental wellbeing. The hosts dive deep into understanding the impact of home-based stress on professional life, while offering practical solutions for both employees and employers dealing with these situations. The episode examines how criticism, verbal abuse, and high conflict situations at home can deplete an individual's emotional resources before they even arrive at work. Bill and Megan discuss the neuroscience behind stress responses, particularly focusing on how the amygdala's fight-or-flight response can impact professional performance. They explore how encouraging self-statements can act as a protective shield against negative emotions and criticism. A significant portion of the discussion centers on workplace dynamics and communication strategies. Bill and Megan provide valuable insights into when and how to communicate with employers about personal situations, emphasizing the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries while seeking support. They also address the employer's perspective, offering guidance on creating supportive workplace environments without compromising professional standards. Questions we answer in this episode: How does high conflict at home affect workplace performance?What strategies can employees use to manage personal stress at work?When should an employee disclose personal conflicts to their employer?How can employers support staff dealing with high conflict situations?What role do encouraging self-statements play in managing conflict?Key Takeaways: Encouraging self-statements can help block negative emotionsPersonal conflicts can significantly impact workplace performanceThe BIF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly and firm) helps manage difficult communicationsConsider consulting EAP resources before discussing issues with employersEmployers should lead with empathy while maintaining appropriate boundariesThis episode provides essential insights for anyone navigating the challenging intersection between personal conflicts and professional life. Whether you're an employee dealing with high conflict situations at home or an employer seeking to support your team members effectively, this discussion offers practical, actionable strategies for maintaining workplace productivity while supporting mental health and wellbeing. Links & Other Notes NEWSLETTERSign upBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeBIFF at WorkIt's All Your Fault at Work!ARTICLESNew Ways for Work®: A New Coaching MethodCOURSESNew Ways for Work®: Training for Leaders (for managers, supervisors, etc. to learn how to handle high-conflict at work)New Ways for Work®: Training for Coaches (for workplace coaches to learn this method to use with clients/coachees)CLASSES: Conflict Influencer™ Class (to learn how to deal with high-conflict) OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:33) - Impact Inside the Workplace when High Conflict’s Happening Outside of It (02:02) - Catching Up (05:48) - What High Conflict Feels Like When You're Involved In It (08:13) - Criticism and Beyond (11:19) - Stress and the Brain (13:57) - Conflict Tolerance (17:30) - When You Have to Go to Work (20:57) - Encouraging Statements (23:45) - High Conflict Interruptions (27:52) - Talking to Your Employer (32:20) - If You’re the Employer (36:03) - Wrap Up (37:01) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: TBD Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    38 min
  5. Seeds of Personality: Understanding Psychopathy's Origins and Impact (Part 2)

    FEB 20

    Seeds of Personality: Understanding Psychopathy's Origins and Impact (Part 2)

    Understanding Psychopathy: Nature, Nurture, and Warning Signs In this enlightening continuation of their discussion on psychopathy, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter delve deeper into understanding how personality patterns develop and why some individuals with psychopathic traits go undetected. Following up on their previous episode exploring the $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system, Bill and Megan examine whether someone can suddenly "become" psychopathic and discuss the crucial developmental stages that shape personality. The episode explores the fascinating intersection of genetics, early childhood experiences, and cultural environment in forming personality patterns. Bill and Megan emphasize how the first five years of life are particularly crucial in personality development, with many patterns established by age six. They share valuable insights about identifying warning signs in relationships and workplaces, while discussing the historical evolutionary advantages that may have contributed to these personality traits surviving in human populations. The conversation takes an important turn toward practical advice, offering guidance for those who suspect they might be in a relationship with someone showing psychopathic traits. Bill and Megan discuss treatment possibilities, safety considerations, and the importance of seeking professional help when needed. Questions we answer in this episode: Can someone suddenly "switch" to become psychopathic?How do early childhood experiences shape personality development?What are the warning signs of psychopathic traits in relationships?Is psychopathy treatable?How can you safely handle relationships with someone showing these traits?Key Takeaways: Personality patterns are largely established by age 5-6Genetics play a significant role in antisocial personality traitsWarning signs include disconnects between words and actionsTreatment options are limited, especially for adultsSafety should be the primary concern when leaving these relationshipsThis episode provides essential information for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on relationships and society. Through practical examples and expert insights, listeners gain valuable knowledge about recognizing warning signs and protecting themselves while maintaining professional and personal relationships. Links & Other Notes PSYCHOPATHY ARTICLEBerkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?BOOKSIt's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesCOURSESHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:35) - Psychopathy Part 2 (02:05) - Can a Switch Be Flipped? (04:22) - The First Five Years (09:00) - Looking for Signs (14:49) - Pushing Forward (23:09) - What to Do (26:08) - Treatment (30:09) - Wrap Up (31:56) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    34 min
  6. Beyond the Mask: Understanding Psychopathy in Modern Society (Part 1)

    FEB 13

    Beyond the Mask: Understanding Psychopathy in Modern Society (Part 1)

    Understanding Psychopathy: Costs, Characteristics, and Social Impact (Part 1) In this first episode of a two-part series, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore psychopathy, its relationship to antisocial personality disorder, and its staggering $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system. Drawing from recent research and their extensive experience at the High Conflict Institute, Bill and Megan break down complex psychological concepts into practical, understandable terms. The Spectrum of Antisocial BehaviorBill and Megan discuss how antisocial personality disorder manifests, its early warning signs, and its relationship to psychopathy. They explore how these traits appear in various settings — from business environments to personal relationships — and why early intervention is crucial, particularly before age 15. Understanding Psychopathy's Three Key FeaturesThe episode delves into the three main characteristics of psychopathy: disinhibition (extreme risk-taking), callousness (lack of empathy), and boldness (absence of fear). Bill and Megan examine how these traits manifest in real-world situations and their implications for relationships and society. Modern Diagnosis and AssessmentThe hosts explore the shift from viewing personality traits as fixed characteristics to understanding them as dimensions on a spectrum. This modern approach allows for more nuanced understanding and assessment of psychopathic traits. Questions we answer in this episode: What is the difference between antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy, and psychopathy?How early can antisocial behaviors be identified?Can someone with these traits change with treatment?What role does empathy play in psychopathy?How do these personalities impact everyday relationships?Key Takeaways: Psychopathy costs the US criminal justice system approximately $460 billion annuallyEarly intervention (before age 15) is crucial for changing antisocial behaviorsAntisocial personality disorder affects about 4% of adults, while psychopathy affects about 1%People with these traits often display instrumental empathy rather than genuine empathyUnderstanding these traits can help with protection and boundary-settingThis first episode in the two-part series provides invaluable insights for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on society. Whether you're a professional working with high conflict personalities or simply interested in understanding complex human behavior, Bill and Megan's expert analysis offers practical knowledge and protective strategies. Tune in next week for Part 2, which will explore genetics, causation, and additional dimensions of psychopathy. Links & Other Notes PSYCHOPATHY ARTICLE: Berkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?THE MOVIE BILL BROUGHT UP AS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS: Catch Me If You CanBOOKS It's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesARTICLES Living with High-Conflict People: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:35) - Psychopathy (02:17) - Background for the Conversation (04:05) - Antisocial vs. Psychopath vs. Sociopath (05:42) - Antisocial Personality Disorder (19:07) - Bill’s Books (19:38) - Psychopathy and Sociopathy (22:12) - Disinhibition (25:31) - Callousness (29:47) - Boldness (32:02) - Personality Dimensions (35:48) - Wrap Up (36:17) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Psychopathy Part 2 Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    38 min
  7. Meet Judge Bruce R. Cohen (ret.): Family Court Success from Both Sides of the Bench

    FEB 6

    Meet Judge Bruce R. Cohen (ret.): Family Court Success from Both Sides of the Bench

    Welcome Judge Cohen: A Fresh Perspective on Family Court Join Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter as they welcome retired Judge Bruce R. Cohen to the High Conflict Institute team. This episode explores the human side of family court proceedings through Judge Cohen's unique lens, developed over 24 years as a family law attorney and nearly 20 years on the bench in Arizona's Superior Court. Understanding Best Interests and Judicial Perspective Judge Cohen shares invaluable insights about the concept of "best interests of the child" and how it's applied in family court. He explains how the legal framework has evolved beyond gender preferences to focus on meeting children's specific needs. Through personal anecdotes, including the transformative "Bonnie story," Judge Cohen illustrates how maintaining presence and recognizing humanity in each case leads to better outcomes. Breaking Down Family Court Success The discussion delves into practical advice for presenting cases effectively in family court. Rather than chronological presentations or attempts to prove who's "right," success comes from focusing on children's needs and each parent's ability to meet them. Bill and Megan explore with Judge Cohen how understanding jurisdictional factors and avoiding assumptions about bias can strengthen case presentations. Questions we answer in this episode: How do judges determine what's truly in a child's best interests?What factors should parents focus on when presenting their case?How has gender bias evolved in family court?What makes a case "high conflict"?How can parents shift focus from being right to getting it right?Key Takeaways: Focus on children's needs and your ability to meet them rather than chronological eventsPresent yourself authentically rather than assuming judicial biasUnderstand your jurisdiction's specific factors for determining best interestsRecognize that credibility increases when acknowledging both strengths and weaknessesSuccess comes from focusing on future solutions rather than past grievancesThis episode offers unique insights from both sides of the bench, providing valuable perspective for anyone navigating family court. Judge Cohen's practical wisdom, combined with Bill and Megan's expertise, creates an essential resource for understanding how to approach family court proceedings effectively. Links & Other Notes JUDGE BRUCE R. COHEN (RET.) Biohttps://highconflictinstitute.com/our-team/BOOKSManaging High Conflict People in CourtThe Future of Family CourtNEWSLETTERSign up for our newsletterCLASSES & CONSULTATIONSNew Ways for Families® online class for parentsConflict Influencer™ online group for parents or anyone1:1 Consultation with Bill Eddy/Megan HunterOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:58) - Welcome Judge Bruce R. Cohen (Ret.) (02:25) - Judge Cohen’s Background (06:57) - Connecting (09:24) - The Bonnie Story (14:14) - Time in Court (15:16) - Bill’s Time in Court (17:55) - Communicate Simply (28:25) - Best Interest Factors (30:46) - Gender Issues (36:27) - Control What You Can Control (38:03) - Identify Needs of Child (40:18) - High Conflict Cases (44:51) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Answering Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    46 min
  8. REBROADCAST: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life

    JAN 2

    REBROADCAST: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life

    Rebroadcast Alert: Our Most Popular Episode! Dive into the world of High Conflict Personalities (HCPs) and the five personality disorders that often fuel their behavior. In this groundbreaking episode from Season 1, Bill and Megan explore the common traits of HCPs, including blaming others, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors. Discover why traditional methods of interaction often fail with HCPs and gain valuable insights into managing these challenging relationships. Whether you're dealing with a narcissist, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to navigate high-conflict situations with greater understanding and effectiveness.  Don't miss this opportunity to learn from our most popular episode and transform your approach to high-conflict personalities!  REBROADCAST When an HCP also has a personality disorder... Personality disorder or not, people with a high conflict personality (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happens over and over again in many different situations with many different people. The issue that seems in conflict at the time is not what is increasing the conflict. The “issue” is the high-conflict personality and how the person approaches problem-solving. With HCPs, the pattern of behavior often includes a lot of these four characteristics: Blaming othersAll-or-nothing thinkingUnmanaged emotionsExtreme behaviorsHCPs also seem to have personality disorders or some traits of these disorders. This means that they have long-term patterns of: Interpersonal dysfunctionLack of reflection on their own behaviorLack of changeMental health professionals have identified ten personality disorders. Five of these have a tendency to become HCPs: those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality disorders or traits. This helps us understand why they stay stuck in conflict – namely because of two reasons: they don’t reflect on their part of the problem, and they don’t change. So, the conflict continues or gets worse. Perhaps you know someone with this pattern. Someone who insists that you – or someone you know – is entirely to blame for a large or small (or non-existent) problem. If so, he or she may be an HCP and you likely have felt targeted by them and unsure what to do. In this episode, Bill and Megan give an overview of the five types and why the ways we interact with them don’t work, and why you can’t get them to reflect on themselves. Send us your stories! We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes Books:5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict PersonalitiesIt’s All Your Fault: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict PeopleIt’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for EverythingAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books and some in audio format.Training:Who Are High Conflict People?Understanding & Managing High Conflict People in Legal DisputesArticles:High Conflict People in Civil LitigationHandling High Conflict Situations During the HolidaysOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:37) - HCPs In Your Life (03:42) - Four Key Characteristics (06:22) - All or Nothing Thinking (08:43) - Personalities (10:06) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:50) - Giving It Time (13:16) - They Don't Stop Themselves (15:01) - Look for the Pattern (17:36) - Five Personality Disorder Types (21:40) - Range of HCP? (23:29) - They're Everywhere (26:26) - HCPs in Court Cases (28:02) - Antisocial (30:37) - Always Check Yourself (32:52) - Where These Types Pop Up (35:33) - When These Overlap (38:03) - Bipolar (41:37) - Wrapping Up (42:47) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: The Narcissistic HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

    44 min
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Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life! Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way? In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid. And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.

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