101 episodes

On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go?
Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Kate Anthony, CPCC

    • Education
    • 4.4 • 341 Ratings

On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go?
Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

    This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matthew Fray

    This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matthew Fray

    Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships, has been on my guest wishlist for a really long time. That is why I am truly delighted to share our conversation with you. Matt joins me to talk about how men can show up as better partners in relationships.
    I first learned about Matt when I read his now-viral blog post, “She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes Near the Sink.”  It’s not just about dishes. It never truly is, now is it?  Matt shares his experiences with writing that blog post, the lessons he has learned since his divorce, and offers insight on how men can become mindfully aware of their spouses' experiences, share in the division of labor in relationships, and more. 
    Show Highlights
    How his blog post aims to invite a conversation about what is allowed to matter (5:55) In relationships, there is a discrepancy between values, preferences, and things that affect one another (6:44) Marriage and the man card in cis-hetero gendered relationships (9:14) Matthew describes the invalidation triple threat: aka the ways in which we invalidate people when we disagree with them (17:14) Be mindful of the little things we are not paying attention to because they are often the root of relationship issues (23:41) We explore four key relationship skills including how to argue or disagree effectively (38:19) Learn more about Matthew Fray:
    Matthew Fray is the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F," and the practical insights of "The 5 Love Languages," "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers.

    Resources & Links:

    Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June
    Matthew's website
    Matthew's new book
    Matthew on Twitter
    Matthew on Facebook
    She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink
    TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
    SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind.
    The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines:
    Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases.









    JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

    • 56 min
    How to Protect Yourself From Digital Abuse with Adam Dodge

    How to Protect Yourself From Digital Abuse with Adam Dodge

    Digital abuse is becoming an increasingly large problem. In this episode, Adam Dodge joins me for a discussion about the ways in which current or former partners may be misusing the internet and tech to harm individuals in unhealthy and abusive relationships.  Adam is a licensed attorney whose work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He is the founder of EndTAB and is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age.
    Together we discuss all things digital safety, autonomy, and abuse. Adam shines a light on unauthorized account access, digital gaslighting, and tracking devices. This episode is a reminder that you can prevent the violation of your digital safety, often more easily than you think. Online abuse is deeply traumatic and harmful. You deserve to be safe in your relationships, whether you are offline or online.
    Show Highlights
    How technology is used as a tactic in abuse (4:53) Unauthorized account access: personal autonomy includes consent to your accounts, technology, and apps (6:01) What you need to know about password safety and other steps to take in order to protect your online accounts (9:19) Dealing with harassment on social media, why blocking someone could have unintended consequences, and why you might want to mute/restrict instead (17:03) Adam answers the question, “Can my Amazon Echo be used for eavesdropping?” (25:39) How to figure out if you have a spy device in your home (26:38) Everything you need to know about stalkerware (39:10) Can your ex mirror your computer or device and see everything you are inputting? (34:28) Adam tells us about Smartphone air tags which are being used as a tracking device (41:19) Learn more about Adam Dodge:
    The founder of EndTAB, Adam is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age. His work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He has written and presented extensively on digital safety, online abuse prevention, technology-enabled abuse, and co-authored the first safety advisory on the emerging threat of ‘deepfakes.’
    A frequent speaker and lecturer at universities and national conferences, Adam is also a special advisor to the Coalition Against Stalkerware and sits on the World Economic Forum's Digital Justice Advisory Committee.  His work and expertise has been featured on CBS and in Vogue, the MIT Technology Review, Washington Post, NBC News, the Verge, Mashable, Wall Street Journal, SELF Magazine, Los Angeles Times, GQ, HuffPost and others. Adam is a licensed attorney in California and prior to founding EndTAB, he spent 9 years leading the legal department at Southern California Domestic Violence Nonprofit.  He earned his B.A. from UC Santa Barbara and his J.D. by way of McGeorge School of Law and Hastings College of the Law.
    Resources & Links:
    Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/how-to-protect-yourself-from-digital-abuse-with-adam-dodge
    All New Should I Stay or Should I Go? program
    Adam's website
    Adam on Instagram
    Adam on Twitter
    Adam on LinkedIn
    Fing App
    Stopstalkerware.org
    Consumer Reports security planner
    TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
    THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM
    As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade.


    AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM.
    This program is 100% for you if…
    You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long gam

    • 49 min
    In Conversation with The exEXPERTS: Owning Your Divorce Story with T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum

    In Conversation with The exEXPERTS: Owning Your Divorce Story with T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum

    This week I have the joy of welcoming the exEXPERTS, T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum, to the show.  They're best friends who got divorced at the same time 14 years ago but had totally different divorce experiences. In this episode, they share their experience maneuvering through the overwhelming journey of divorce. 
    They also share how they’ve used their own divorce experiences to create a place online where anyone can go for any phase of divorce, answer all the questions, and feel educated about the process and everything that goes into it.  
    Show Highlights
    T.H. and Jessica share the parallels as well as the big differences between their divorce stories (5:50) How and why they decided to create their online platform, exEXPERTS (17:15) Honoring the tough issues of divorce including abuse in relationships (17:35) Owning your own experience and story of divorce (26:23) T.H. shares her experience divorcing a narcissist (33:46) Learn more about T.H. Irwin & Jessica Klingbaum:
    T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum are the co-founders of the online platform, exEXPERTS. They're best friends who got divorced at the same time 14 years ago, but had TOTALLY different divorce experiences. They realized back then that they didn't have the right resources to understand all the options and the different choices they needed to make, but they did have each other. So they used their own divorce experiences to create a place online where anyone can go for any phase of divorce, to answer all the questions and to feel educated about the process and everything that goes into it. As they like to say, they've lived it, so they get it!
    Resources & Links:
    Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/owning-your-divorce-story-with-t-h-irwin-and-jessica-klingbaum

    The exExperts
    The exExperts on Instagram
    The exExperts on TikTok
    The exExperts on Facebook
    The exExperts on LinkedIn
    TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
    THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM
     
    An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?










    JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

    • 50 min
    #TBT: Al-Anon, Addiction and Divorce with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

    #TBT: Al-Anon, Addiction and Divorce with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

    This week I’m re-airing my episode with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, where we discussed how to cope when your partner has an active addiction. Dr. Elizabeth Cohen helps people get a little more comfortable with something as painful as addiction and divorce. When you’re living with or divorcing a partner who has an active addiction, you may find yourself acting out different behaviors including the need to control every situation. You may become (or already be!) codependent, and you focus on their healing instead of your own. When you finally take the focus off of them and towards yourself you can begin to see light at the end of what may be a very dark tunnel.
    Show Highlights
    When women share themselves openly and honestly, the world begins to split open (9:21) Focusing on your growth and healing is how we change our circumstances (11:06) Sublimating your own needs for someone else (23:00) Breaking the cycle of codependency (24:15) The core issue about a person abusing any substance is the difficulty sitting with emotions (34:41) A partner should never be responsible for healing the other (38:36) Some advice for those who are living with an active addict (47:33) Learn More About Dr. Cohen: Dr. Cohen is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. This 14 week course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. Dr. Cohen offers a monthly membership program to provide 1:1 coaching, expert support from divorce professionals and an engaged community of like-minded people.  Dr. Cohen received her PhD in clinical psychology from Boston University. She was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her doctoral research. She has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal,  NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast and Good Housekeeping. Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her “Divorce Course” column.
    Resources & Links:
    Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/tbt-addiction-and-divorce-with-dr-elizabeth-cohen
    The Revised Should I Stay or Should I Go is Now Available!
    Dr. Cohen’s website
    Dr. Cohen on Instagram
    Facebook The Divorce Doctor- Elizabeth Cohen,PhD
    14 Day Step-By-Step Guide To Make Any Tough Decision While Going Through Divorce 
    3 Steps to Take Right Now for A Stress-Free Divorce
    Our Happy Divorce Livestream, Drugs, Alcohol, and Divorce with Kate and Elizabeth
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 56 min
    Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans

    Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans

    This week I am talking about covert emotional abuse with philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate, Annette Oltmans. Annette helps bring awareness to covert emotional abuse, a dangerous and common form of Domestic Violence. If you are a victim or think you might be a victim, this is a must-listen episode. 
    Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016.
    Show Highlights:
    What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project (6:45) Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim’s perspective (10:47) Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking (25:50) Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress (40:21) Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy (41:00) Learn more about Annette:
    Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities". 
    Resources & Links:
    Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/covert-emotional-abuse-with-annette-oltmans

    The Revised Should I Stay or Should I Go is Now Available!
    The M3nd Project Website
    Tools and Resources from The M3ND Project
    The M3ND Project on Facebook
    The M3ND Project on Instagram
    The M3nd Project on YouTube
    The M3nd Project on Twitter
    TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
    THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM
    As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade.


    AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM.
    This program is 100% for you if…
    You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and

    • 55 min
    Listener Q&A:  How Can I Cope with Guilt Post-Divorce? Is My New Relationship Healthy? How Do I Co-Parent When My Ex Has a New Partner?

    Listener Q&A:  How Can I Cope with Guilt Post-Divorce? Is My New Relationship Healthy? How Do I Co-Parent When My Ex Has a New Partner?

    After last week’s Q&A episode, I received an outpouring of submissions from listeners with questions about co-parenting, relationships, and life after divorce. So I decided to do one more Q&A episode for you! This week I answer two co-parenting questions: one relates to how open to be with children about the details of your divorce, and the other has to do with co-parenting when your ex has a new partner.  I also discuss mindset and mental health post-divorce, including how to cope with feelings of guilt or shame; and how to know if your new relationship is healthy for you.  
    In this episode, I answer these listener questions:
    How can I talk to my kids about the divorce process when leaving an emotionally and psychologically abusive marriage? There are things I can’t tell them in order to respect their relationship with my ex. How do I let them know I am taking a stand, his behavior was not okay, but also respect their relationship with him? How do you know if your new relationship is healthy? After divorcing a narcissist, I am finding it hard to trust a new man and myself fully. But, I don’t want to sabotage a new relationship. My husband had a three-year affair with a co-worker half his age. He is still with her and she may end up being a stepmother to my children. My ex and I co-parent beautifully right now, adding her to the mix could ruin all we have accomplished. Help? How do I cope with feelings of guilt or shame over my divorce? Want your question answered in a future episode? You can submit one anonymously.  Submit your questions or story, right here. 
    Resources & Links:
    Private Coaching with Kate Anthony
    Listener Q&A: Co-parenting with a Narcissist, Dealing with a Manipulative Co-parent, and Supporting Your Children Through Divorce
    Listener Q&A: Guilt, Denial & Changing Your Name
    Join the 3-Day/Challenge Should I Stay or Should I Go? 11am PT in My Facebook Group
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
    The Meadows Survivors 1 Program
    TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
    THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM
    As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade.


    AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM.
    This program is 100% for you if…
    You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’


    Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome?


    YEAH, Y’ARE!!!









    JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

    • 39 min

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5
341 Ratings

341 Ratings

valjean24601jean ,

Living after divorce

Kate Anthony speaks on various important aspects of relationships, responsibility, connection and love. In my humble opinion she is fun loving and goes straight to the point of the conversation. In the end I like what she brings to the conversation. “You are Always the Answer.”
Thank you,

Giampiero

Napa Mary ,

Divorcing? This podcast is for You!

Kate Anthony touches on all the issues we go through, from considering if divorce is the answer, to how to get through the process and come out ready for a better life! Lots of resources offered, along with no nonsense encouragement and advice.

MarieTB3 ,

Why the laughing

It’s my first episode and I am so turned off by the fact that the host and guest are laughing at this topic that is not remotely funny. I am listening b/c I am in crisis and need help
And support and the laughing is hard to hear, what can possibly be funny??

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