Difficult Relationships - Christian Wisdom for Life's Toughest Ties Kris Reece Ministries

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

 FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Master Powerful Tactics to Gain Control When Triggered into a Toxic Argument https://krisreece.com/live-workshop/

Am I a People Pleaser Quiz?  Discover Your Type.
https://krisreece.com/am-i-a-people-pleaser/
Want to learn how to identify and deal with all the difficult people in your life?  Be sure to grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Being in a marriage with a narcissist can leave you feeling like you've got only two choices: resign yourself to a life of misery or pack your bags and leave.
 
Before you make a decision that will change your life forever, I want to talk to you about three categories to consider when contemplating a divorce from a narcissistic spouse.
 
With a multitude of twisted scriptures, it can be difficult to determine the most biblical action for your situation. So by the end of our time together, my hope is that you will have greater peace in understanding God's will for your situation, and that you will have an answer the question that I get asked more than any other question--will God let me leave my narcissistic spouse?
 
To do that we need to address three categories: the justified, the baseless, and the plausible.  
 
The first category is going to be the most important to dive into but be careful not to automatically assume that you fall into this category, as most don't.
Category #1: the Justified  
These are the people who have a justifiable reason to leave the marriage.
The first justification is found in Matthew 19:9 where it states that we shouldn't divorce except in cases of infidelity. So, the first justified reason is when there is betrayal in the marriage.
 
Infidelity is a justification for divorce.  You’re not in the wrong.  You’re not sinning against God.  You’re free to leave.  You don’t have to, but you’re free to.   
 
Within the church, that's where you'll find that justification stops—no infidelity, no recourse. But infidelity isn't the only time where God allows for divorce.  
 
The next is abandonment.1 Corinthians 7:15 states, But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you[b] to peace.
 
Yet another reason is neglect or abuse. Narcissistic relationships are defined by the selfishness of one partner at the expense of the other. So instead of using scriptures like "God hates divorce" as a weapon, perhaps we should acknowledge how much God hates abuse. In fact, that scripture "God hates divorce" was written because the men were abusing their roles and discarding their wives at will.  
 
So let's talk about this justification of abuse.  Abuse can be defined as extreme danger or harm; physically, mentally or emotionally.  
To tell a victim of abuse that he/she needs to stay and suffer further abuse is further victimizing the innocent.  
Some may say that "no divorce" is a hard and fast rule in scripture. And I agree that it should not be abused, but we also find in scripture where there are many cases where the 'rules' are broken: 
 
·      Jesus talking to the woman at the well
·      Healing on the sabbath
·      David eating the showbread
·      Instructing Ezekiel to eat unclean food
 
We even see Abigail going behind her husband Nebal’s back because of his destructive behavior, all to save life.  
 
And we have scriptures that appear to contradict themselves like, turn the other che

10 Clear Signs You've Been Abused by a Narcissist

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Want to learn how to identify and deal with all the difficult people in your life?  Be sure to grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
Are you tired of falling victim to the emotional and psychological manipulation of a narcissist?
 Do you worry that long-term exposure to this devil-sent individual will negatively impact your faith?
 Narcissists are self-centered, egotistical, fragile individuals who only care about meeting their own need—often at your expense. 
 They are excellent at playing mind games to gain the upper hand and get what they want in relationships.
 They don’t see you as an individual with feelings. They see you as a pawn for their purpose and they don’t care how their behavior impacts you. In fact, it doesn’t even occur to them.  
They are demonically inspired and often dangerous.   
 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. I would argue that if we need to be alert to the devil, we also need to be alert to the people he’s using.
 Let’s take a look at the demonic mind games they’ll use to manipulate you. 
 Demonic mind game #1: The blame game
It's easy to forget, but narcissists are very fragile individuals. 
 You may have fallen for their false facade but behind that phony exterior is an empty shallow parasite who needs to feed off of you for validation. When that validation dries up and you try to have a healthy relationship with healthy confrontation, you will see a wounded soul. And this is where it goes from broken to bad.
 Narcissists can skillfully play the victim to garner sympathy and shift blame. They may exaggerate or entirely fabricate situations where they appear to be the innocent party, diverting attention from their own harmful actions.
 Whether referring to past “failures” or current problems, narcissists will rarely accept responsibility for their actions. They’ll blame all the relationship issues on you. They never feel like anything is their fault. They’ll even make things up, so that you’ll be the one to fix their mess, all while they play the victim.
This behavior dates back to the beginning of time when God called out Adam for eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. What did he say? “The woman YOU gave made me do it.”
 Now, I’m not saying that Adam was a narcissist, but you see how cunning the devil was right from the start.
 Demonic mind game #2: The trigger game
Do you ever wonder how the narcissist seems to know ALL of your pain points?  That’s because they studied you like a book.  
 Not with the intent to truly get to know you, but for the sheer purpose of gathering information for the future. That’s why they work so hard with love bombing to win you over, break down your guard, and get you vulnerable.  
 This can really throw you for a loop, especially if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist who doesn’t seem to care or listen, but suddenly when you’re arguing or they’re trying to get their way, they seem to have amazing recall. Every mistake you’ve made, every little thing you’ve said can and will be used against you.  
 Demonic mind game #3: The coercion game
If narcissists don’t get what they want from you, they will use various forms of manipulation, guilt, shame, and triangulation all to get you to feel bad about yourself, second guess your boundaries, and ultimately give them what they want.
 If you think the narcissist only uses coercion with big ticket items, think again. This tactic is their go-to with EVERYTHING, which is why narcissists can be so exhausting to be in relationship with.