Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Kimmy Seltzer
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Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She’s consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

  1. 1D AGO

    Emotional Eating & Dating Confidence: Interview with Amber Romaniuk

    Have you felt self-conscious or anxious on dates, unsure how to break free from the constant chatter of self-doubt and body image worries? What if emotional eating and your food habits weren’t just about the food, but were actually acting as shields keeping real, intimate connections out of reach? In Episode 410 of The Charisma Quotient, “Emotional Eating & Dating Confidence: Interview with Amber Romaniuk” Kimmy sits down with emotional eating and body confidence expert Amber Romaniuk to unpack how emotional eating, body image struggles, and self-worth are entwined with your ability to show up powerfully in love and dating.   Amber bravely shares her own story—starting with childhood trauma and family patterns, leading to a battle with binge eating, bulimia, and a search for self-acceptance. Together, Kimmy and Amber explore why food and weight often become “love shields”—protecting you from rejection but also keeping you from intimacy, joy, and playfulness in relationships. Through personal anecdotes, client stories, and practical strategies, they reveal what it really takes to break free from emotional eating cycles and step into self-love and magnetic confidence. Kimmy and Amber don’t shy away from tough questions about worth, fear, and vulnerability. Instead, they share helpful steps to spot your triggers, get honest about your habits, and move from victim mode to empowered action—both with food and with love.  You’ll hear: How emotional eating and body image anxieties can sabotage your dating life—and what to do about it. The concept of "love shields"—how food and weight can become unconscious protection from vulnerability and intimacy. Why control, people-pleasing, and perfectionism often hide deeper wounds that affect relationships. Practical steps to identify emotional eating triggers and start healing from the inside out. How building self-worth creates real change in your relationships—and why dating is actually working on yourself. How control and rigidity creates masculine energy when dating. If emotional eating or body image struggles have been holding you back in love, join Kimmy’s virtual speed dating event on September 23rd and get unstuck in a fun, supportive environment.  You’ll get real-time feedback from hand-picked dates by Kimmy and meet new people. Sign up soon at www.stophatingdating.com. Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    41 min

  2. SEP 5

    Intentional Dating at Any Age: Coaching with Kimmy

    Have you ever wondered what it truly means to date with intention—and not just to find a partner, but to rediscover playfulness, joy, and your own self-worth?  In Episode 409 of The Charisma Quotient, “Intentional Dating at Any Age: Coaching with Kimmy” Kimmy does a live coaching session with  Joni, a vibrant 69-year-old woman embarking on a new chapter after a major life transition—moving to a new country and reimagining her relationship with dating.   Kimmy delves into the common blocks that can make dating later in life intimidating: fear of rejection, comparison to the past, negative self-image, the myth that it’s “too late,” and the tendency to take dating way too seriously. Through honest coaching and playful perspective shifts, Kimmy helps Joni explore and reawaken her inner “Pixie”—her fun, flirty, confident self who’s ready to be seen, connect, and have fun. During their candid conversation, Kimmy helps Joni unpack the roots of her old patterns, including childhood wounds, self-limiting beliefs, and habits of prioritizing others at the expense of herself. Together, they outline simple, actionable steps for Joni (and listeners!) to practice playful, pressure-free flirting, embrace visibility, and lean into joyful social experiences. Whether you’re dating again after a long relationship, navigating new cultures, or just looking to shake off dating dread, this episode shows that it’s never too late to embrace connection with intention—and that dating, at any age, can (and should!) be fun.  You’ll hear: Kimmy’s framework for intentional dating and “dating yourself” The five common obstacles that keep people from enjoying dating later in life How childhood experiences and limiting beliefs shape our approach to love Practical advice for reigniting your playful, flirty side  The importance of self-image, confidence, and loving where you’re at—now If you’re ready to start dating with intention, join Kimmy’s virtual speed dating event on September 17th and get real-time feedback and meet new people. Sign up at www.stophatingdating.com. Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    45 min

  3. AUG 28

    Communication Secrets That Spark Attraction: Interview with Jess Jensen

    Do you ever wonder why first impressions spark connections—or cause instant shut-downs? Are you struggling to translate your real-life personality into your digital presence?  In Episode 408 of The Charisma Quotient, “Communication Secrets That Spark Attraction: Interview with Jess Jensen” Kimmy welcomes executive communications strategist Jess Jensen, founder of Copilot Communications, for a dynamic conversation that bridges the worlds of business and dating. Together, they break down how your presence—online and offline—makes or breaks first impressions, and why charisma is the secret edge in both arenas.   Together, they reveal how presence, energy, body language, and authenticity matter just as much—if not more—than the words you say when you’re aiming to connect with others both in love and business. Kimmy opens the episode with a powerful story about transforming a socially anxious executive’s networking and dating life, setting the stage for practical tips everyone can use. Jess shares how the evolution of social media has reshaped communication and highlights the similarities between building a strong professional brand and making heartfelt connections in dating. The duo discusses the most common blunders people make with their online profiles and digital presence, stressing the importance of storytelling, approachability, and vulnerability—skills that captivate both clients and potential romantic partners.  You’ll hear: Why first impressions matter even before you say “hello”—and how to control the story your presence tells The science and art behind making judgments in just 7 seconds (yes, the research is in!) Real stories of transformation: how a wardrobe change and a charisma boost led a client from boardroom nerves to romantic sparks Jess’s 5-step framework to shape your online and offline presence (with actionable tips at every level) If you know your online and offline presence needs a little help, download Kimmy’s style guides to get started with your wardrobe.  Go to www.kimmyseltzer.com/style  Then book a private session to get more personal help with some presence coaching here https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    42 min

  4. AUG 22

    Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce & The Secret to Love: Compersion vs. Jealousy

    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce made headlines this week thanks to the heartwarming reaction of Travis and his brother, Jason Kelce, as they celebrated Taylor’s new album, The Life of a Showgirl. Relationship therapist Esther Perel weighed in, highlighting the concept of “compersion” in a recent Instagram reel that’s been buzzing online in relation to Travis’ celebration of her.If you have a pattern of people you date or attract in your life that tend to be competitive, jealous and critical rather than supportive and happy for your successes then this is an episode you won’t want to miss.In Episode 407 of The Charisma Quotient, Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce & The Secret to Love: Compersion vs. Jealousy, Kimmy dives into the power and importance of compersion—feeling authentic joy for the happiness and success of someone you love—and unpacks why these “cheerleader” moments are the true green flags in dating.   Relationship therapist, Esther Perel, used this term “compersion” recently in an Instagram reel that’s been buzzing online in relation to the heartwarming reaction of Travis Kelce and his brother Jason as they celebrated Taylor Swift’s new album.  Kimmy unpacks why these “cheerleader” moments are the true green flags in dating.   Kimmy uses real-life coaching stories to illustrate how compersion and jealousy show up on first dates and far into relationships. You’ll hear about clients who kept attracting partners that would downplay their wins, make dismissive jokes, or always steer the conversation back to themselves—leaving them feeling small, unseen, and unsupported. Kimmy explains where these reactions come from and why they're red flags you need to spot early. Through practical steps, Kimmy teaches you how to identify and cultivate compersion. She outlines a powerful homework assignment to the listeners on how to conduct a “compersion check-in” on your next date, how to reclaim your power by celebrating your own wins without shrinking, and how to recondition yourself to receive genuine support—especially if it feels uncomfortable or “foreign” at first.    You’ll hear: How to spot the subtle signs of compersion (and jealousy) from the very first date, so you don’t waste time on someone whose insecurity will make you feel small. A real-life client story that illustrates how someone can seem charming and supportive, but consistently chips away at your joy—and how to break that toxic cycle for good. Specific “green flags” that signal emotional maturity and genuine support, versus common “red flags” that point to competition and insecurity. A simple, three-step “Compersion Check-In” exercise you can try on your next date or even in your current relationship, to see how supported you really feel. If you are wanting to break patterns in your dating life and want a Taylor and Travis kind of love, hop on a private call with Kimmy to flush out what might be causing that and find ways to attract the right partner for you  https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    30 min

  5. AUG 15

    The 6 Dirty “F” words and Identifying Red Flags in Relationships: Interview with Sarah Intelligator

    Have you ever looked back at a breakup and wondered: Did I really miss those red flags, or was I ignoring what I didn’t want to see? Do your relationships seem to fall into similar patterns—leaving you with the same heartbreak, just with a new face? In Episode 407 of The Charisma Quotient, “The 6 Dirty “F” words and Identifying Red Flags in Relationships: Interview with Sarah Intelligator ” Kimmy sits down with acclaimed family law attorney and author Sarah Intelligator, who brings not just her legal expertise, but hard-won personal insight from her own journey through divorce and self-growth.   Kimmy opens the episode by exploring the concept of red flags, explaining that most of us don’t actually “miss” them—we simply learn to explain them away. As Sarah joins the conversation, she shares her own origin story, blending her professional work watching relationships crumble in and out of the courtroom with candid stories from her personal life—including marrying young and later working through her own divorce. Recognizing the emotional and financial devastation of separation, she felt inspired to help others avoid ending up in her office in the first place, leading her to author her book, "Live Laugh, Find True Love." The heart of the episode focuses on the “Dirty F Words” Sarah has identified as the most common fail factors she sees repeatedly in relationships heading for divorce. Together, Kimmy and Sarah break down how these patterns show up during the dating process and later in long-term relationships. They highlight the importance of truly knowing your own values, understanding how fear can keep you in the wrong relationships, and why having a solid foundation—built on respect, trust, communication, and teamwork—is essential for lasting partnership.  You’ll hear: The six “Dirty F Words” (a.k.a. fail factors) that show up in almost every relationship that ends in divorce—and how to notice them before it’s too late The #1 mistake daters make: confusing chemistry for compatibility, and what fundamental values really mean How fear—of being alone, of change, of not being lovable—keeps you stuck, PLUS actionable steps to reclaim your confidence and decision-making Why trying to FIX your partner never works, and what actually does build healthy, lasting love If you’re ready to stop blaming “bad luck” and instead take empowered, loving responsibility for your choices and your future relationships, hop on a private call with Kimmy to help you come up with ways to do that.  Book it here https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    41 min

  6. AUG 8

    Dating In Your 40s (And Beyond): Special Dateable Edition

    Are you navigating the dating world in your 40s—or beyond—and wondering why things feel so different? You’re not alone! In Episode 406 of The Charisma Quotient, “Dating In Your 40's (And Beyond):  Special Dateable Edition” Kimmy is invited onto the dynamic Dateable Podcast with hosts Julie and Yue. The conversation dives deep into the world of dating in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond  The tables are turned as Kimmy sits in the guest seat, opening up about her own experience moving cross-country, dealing with divorce, rediscovering herself, and re-entering the dating scene as a single mom. She reveals the pivotal moment that reignited her confidence: the famous red dress story, where shopping for something outside her comfort zone became the catalyst for a complete mindset (and life) shift. The conversation dives into the real-life challenges of dating in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond: from evolving attraction and patterns, to balancing careers, family, and social lives, to confronting limiting beliefs about “the dating pool” at any age. Kimmy unpacks why your “second act” can be your strongest yet, and how clarity, confidence, and a willingness to try new things—whether that’s a new outfit or a new approach to flirting—can make all the difference.  You’ll hear: Why dating after 40 isn’t a consolation prize — it’s often a “reset” filled with wisdom, clarity, and deeper authenticity. How to break out of old “types,” refresh your flirt game, and finally have fun again—even if you haven’t dated in decades. First-hand advice for navigating dating apps, balancing busy lives, and prioritizing your own happiness. The truth about age, attraction, and that so-called “shrinking dating pool” (spoiler: it’s all about mindset and action—not your birth date). If you are a later dater and getting caught in the friendzone often or not feeling the chemistry on dates, join Kimmy for her next co-ed interactive workshop called Unleash Your Sexy Confidence where you will learn the art of attraction and chemistry.  Go to www.stophatingdating.com to register. Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    52 min

  7. AUG 1

    ICYMI: Top 6 Tips to Up Your Dating Game

    Feeling like your dating life is stuck in a rut? You’re not alone! In Episode 405 of The Charisma Quotient, “ICYMI: Top 6 Tips to Up Your Dating Game” Kimmy guides you through the essential steps to transform your love life from the outside in. Whether you’re returning to the dating scene after a long break or wrestling with low confidence, Kimmy shares actionable tips, eye-opening mindset shifts, and real-life success stories to help you polish up your social and flirt skills and enjoy dating again. In this episode, Kimmy covers everything from revamping your dating image, clarifying what you truly want, to breaking free from self-sabotaging checklists and learning to enjoy the process of meeting new people. You’ll discover why waiting for the "perfect time" never works, the importance of focusing on your own happiness, and how making small changes—like updating your wardrobe—can spark a sexy new confidence. Whether you’re discouraged, confused, or simply looking for a little motivation, this episode is packed with inspiration and clarity.  You’ll hear: Six game-changing steps to refresh your approach—including ways to stop waiting for the “right moment” and have fun on your path to finding love Actionable advice for overcoming insecurity, building a social circle, and taking small steps toward flirting, connecting, and feeling good in your own skin The story of a client who shifted from “giving up” to “excited and confident,” just by tweaking his mindset, updating his dating appearance, and learning to enjoy the process Why so many of us feel out of sorts when it comes to dating—and the simple truth that you’re not alone.   If you’re hating dating and want help putting yourself out there, start taking action by booking a FREE private call with Kimmy here: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/.     Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    27 min

  8. JUL 23

    Cosmic Compatibility: Secrets to Lasting Love with Carol Allen

    Have you ever felt pulled toward someone by an invisible force, only to watch the connection fizzle out over time? Or wondered why you keep attracting the same type of partner, despite your best intentions to date differently? In Episode 404 of The Charisma Quotient, “Cosmic Compatibility:  Secrets to Lasting Love with Carol Allen” Kimmy talks with renowned Vedic astrologer and relationship coach, Carol Allen, to decode the mysteries of relationship patterns, cosmic compatibility, and lasting love.   Carol and Kimmy have a dynamic discussion about how the interplay of your past and family dynamics combined with astrology can shape your relationships.  Carol shares her personal journey from relationship confusion to becoming a renowned astrologer, including the fascinating story of her own marriage. She reveals how astrology—and especially Vedic techniques from India, which have been used to arrange marriages for centuries—can shed light on why certain connections are so compelling or challenging, the timing of love, and what truly makes a relationship work beyond surface-level compatibility. The episode dives into the concept of "cosmic compatibility": what really happens when two people meet and there’s an undeniable energetic flow. Carol unpacks how Vedic astrology analyzes both individual and combined charts to reveal innate temperament, relationship “capacity,” timing (your seasons and cycles), and specific compatibility factors.   She explains why some couples experience effortless harmony while others feel like they’re constantly hitting invisible walls, regardless of how hard they try.  You’ll hear: Why you keep attracting the same type of partner or experiencing painful relationship patterns How unconscious patterns and “love shields” influence your dating life and emotional connections. What “cosmic compatibility” means, how Vedic astrology can reveal relationship patterns, and the factors that determine lasting love. How to use both personal growth and cosmic timing to break old cycles, increase self-awareness, and open up to the right partnership.   If you are wanting to break patterns in your love life, hop on a private call with Kimmy to flush out what might be causing that and find ways to attract the right partner for you. book a FREE call with her here: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣.  Want to get a personalized reading with Carol?  Book it here https://carolallen.isrefer.com/go/wgr/kseltzer/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    43 min
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4.7
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143 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She’s consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

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