Crying under a surfer hat at Panera Bread EP 92 The High Cost of Anonymity Podcast: Exploring the Cost of Keeping Your Life Experience to Yourself

I was sitting on the patio at Panera Bread watching news coverage of the Lebanon explosion when suddenly, I was overcome with emotion. Normally, I would shove it down as quickly as possible and move on. I'd tell myself, ”quit crying... there's nothing to be so emotional about. It's not that I couldn’t feel compassion towards someone else’s misfortune. It is more because I am uncomfortable with deep emotion. Recently, I’ve realized how much effort I make to stay even keeled... emotionally right in the middle. Unfortunately, my efforts to avoid the intense emotions of sadness, fear and depression, I also lose my ability to feel to good emotions like happiness and joy. This weird thing happens when one makes huge efforts to protect themselves by avoiding deeply uncomfortable negative emotions. They also cut off their ability to feel positive peak emotions. On this episode I talk about how this time, in a moment of sadness, compassion and gratitude, I actually felt peaceful. Mainly because I’ve been working with my therapist about feeling the full spectrum of my emotions as opposed to just a few. I think this is an example of a thawing or softening of my spirit. If you know someone that would benefit from hearing this episode, remember to take a screenshot and share it with them. Love you ❤️