DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ABCG Studios

“All things considered, I won’t be dressing up as The Matrix for Halloween anytime soon”
Waking up from an impromptu early evening nap at their work desk, the panel of peril are alarmed to find their computer seeming to type out words of its own accord. Those words? “Settle in and watch this week’s film The Matrix (The Wachowskis, 1999).” Woah.
Thomas Anderson (Keanu Reeves) is a workaday office drone with a side-line in computer hacking. But when he is contacted by the mysterious Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) on behalf of the mysterious Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne), well that is when the mystery becomes truly mystifying. The world that we know is nothing but the simulation of machines that have taken over in the real world, using humans only as a power source by plugging them into The Matrix. Woah.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKQi3bBA1y8
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Being unplugged from The Matrix and joining the resistance in the real world, Neo soon learns that he is The One; the saviour of mankind who will lead the fight to overthrow the machines. But The Matrix has other ideas (it’s a tricky sod, like that) and deploys programs such as Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) and turncoats such as Cypher (Joe Pantoliano) to ensure the humans don’t get apricot one. Woah.
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? (Woah)
Music by 26836267 from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Sorry, Cameron. We don’t have the budget for bras”
The panel of peril perform the necessary preparations before their date with a beeeeyootiful blonde; for they are taking their beau to see a movie – this week’s movie There’s Something About Mary (Bobby and Peter Farrelly, 1998).
Mary (Cameron Diaz) is a bachelorette in high demand, particularly from brief high school flame Ted (Ben Stiller). When he hires private detective Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) to find her whereabouts everyone gets more than they bargained for as the sleazy PI becomes enamoured with her. Who will succeed in winning the girl, and what depths will they stoop to to do so?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=503D8hOfE_8
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Telling Ted a pack of lies about Mary’s condition, Healy ups sticks to Miami to try and woo the object of Ted’s affection. Spying on her to gain information that will aid his quest draws him into conflict with yet another suitor – erstwhile museum curator Tucker (Lee Evans), plus a mysterious figure from Mary’s past. Phew! That’s a lot of weird fellas, but whom shall win the fair maiden’s dainty hoof?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“I like how horny Hercules is”
The panel of peril return home from a voyage across the seven seas, wearied by battle against foes both human and… inhuman – skeletons and wotnot. Just after putting a big wash on for all their travel clothes, they settle in to watch this week’s film Jason And The Argonauts (Don Chaffey, 1963).
Jason (Todd Armstrong) and his merry band of Argonauts are sent on a perilous expedition to find the mythical golden fleece by his baddie uncle Pelias (Douglas Wilmer), who also sends his wrongun son, Acastus (Gary Raymond) along for the ride as a failsafe make sure Jason comes a cropper.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCGiU98vFq0
Yelling “Jason!” in Heavy Rain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYQDnV092hI
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Acastus is a bit of a rotten egg. He tries to stab Jason and has to get in the sea when he fails. Later he grasses up Jason to the king of fleece island, but then gets bitten to death by the hydra. After briefly engaging the skellington children of the vanquished hydra, Jason outwits them by getting in the sea and then makes whoopee with the lady and gets the fleece all messy.
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?
Music by JuliusH from Pixabay
Sound Effect by SoundReality from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Hackers do not apostrophize”
The panel of peril dust off their leathers, straddle the cheap motorbike they’ve been painstakingly restoring, and speed through the cold winter’s night, homeward. Once they’ve warmed up with a hot toddy, they stick on this week’s film The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (David Fincher, 2011).
Disgraced journalist Mikkael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) takes on a decades old mystery at the behest of the elderly industrialist Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer): solve the mystery of his missing, presumed dead, niece Harriet. With the only means to the Vanger family island being blocked on the day in question, the perpetrator can only be one of the large Vanger clan. With mountains of evidence to sift through, Blomkvist enlists the help of a mysterious and difficult private investigator named Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara), to catch a killer of women before he or she can catch them.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVLvMg62RPA
Watch the opening credit sequence here (crank the volume): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY4f_83t_rw
John Cena announces that Osama Bin Laden has been killed at WWE Extreme Rules! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6maL6gq6qME
*********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
The deeper that Blomkvist and Salander get into the case, the worse the evidence becomes. Hedestad has been home to an antisemitic, misogynistic serial killer in the 1950s and 60s with the killings seemingly stopping when Harriet Vanger vanished. But it’s reasonable businessman Martin Vanger (Stellan Skarsgard) who has much more secretively taken up the mantle laid down by his father Gottfried so long ago. So it was Martin who killed his sister… Right?
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?
Music by Daddy’s Music Pixabay
Music by Daddy’s Music Pixabay
Sound effect by SoundsForYou | Pixabay
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“It’s like murder Pringles”
The panel of peril put on a pair of comically unwieldy magnifying-style glasses, shriek in the face of danger and down tools to view this week’s movie Sleepy Hollow (Tim Burton, 1999).
Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) has been summoned to the sleepy Dutch settlers town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders by decapitation. The locals headed up by Baltus Van Tassel (Michael Gambon), Magistrate Philipse (Richard Griffiths), Dr. Lancaster (Ian Macdiarmid), and Katrina Van Tassel (Christina Ricci) insist that it is the work of a Headless Hessian Horseman (Christopher Walken). Could they possibly be right, a horseman? Headless? And to what end is he removing his target’s heads?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RsKwn_Je1k
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
The horseman is being controlled by the most powerful woman in the village, Lady Van Tassel (Miranda Richardson). She intends to exact revenge upon those she says stole her family land and home when she was but a child, but can Ichabod and his new buds crack the case in time?
What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Music by GioeleFazzeri from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay

“They got Orson Welles to do the farts”
The panel of peril adjust their codpieces, lacquer their hair profusely, and settle down with our goblin lackeys to watch this week’s film Labyrinth (Jim Henson, 1986).
Sarah Williams (Jennifer Connelly) is a young woman who lives in somewhat of a fantasy world. And by that, I mean that she dresses up as a medieval princess down at her local park. Her parents aren’t happy about her lack of responsibility at all, but she’s having none of it. Until the night that she is pulled into an actual (?) fantasy world by Goblin King Jareth (David Bowie) and tasked with negotiating the titular labyrinth in order to rescue her baby brother. Umm, let’s just say high jinks ensue, okay?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2yd4em1I6M
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Turns out old Jareth has no interest in the child after all, instead he seeks Sarah’s hand in marriage before the stroke of midnight…
… Bit weird.
But fear not! Sarah has help in the form of dashing dog Sir Didymus, crotchety old troll Hoggle, and big, weird friendly monster Ludo! The fantastic four, you might call them. Yes, I’m certain that name has yet to be taken.
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?