Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler Richard Ostler

My friend Hannah Russell (married mother of three, PhD, lives in Cincinnati, active Latter-day Saint) joins us to share her story of being asexual out of a desire to help others not feel alone. Hannah starts realizing she is different and falsely concluding “I am not a divine child of Heavenly Parents” because I don’t have any sexual interest. Hannah talks about how being asexual is a real thing and there isn’t some backstory “confusing” Hannah to falsely make this conclusion.

Hannah talks about learning more about herself at BYU and dating. Hannah is very brave—and without shame—in sharing her feelings about not wanting to be sexually intimate. Hannah talks about getting on with her life (after a broken off engagement) and getting her PhD in Pathobiology and Molecular Medicine. Hannah talks about meeting her husband John and opening up to him about being asexual and how they navigated that road together and decided to get married and start a family. Hannah talks about how their marriage—a beautiful love story—is based on communication and consent.

I learned so much from Hannah story about how to better understand and support my asexual friends, and principles to create a stronger marriage and family. Thank you, Hannah, for your courage to share your story so others don’t feel alone and all are welcome and needed as we create Zion. You are awesome!

Links:

Hannah’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hannah.russell.1428

Facebook Group to Better Support LGBTQ Latter-Day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

My friends Kate Kendrick (she/her) and her non-binary child Morgan (they/them) join us to share their story. Kate, who is no longer active LDS, joins us to talk about her journey to become an LGBTQ ally and then fully love and accept her sixteen-year-old non-binary/pansexual child who goes by the pseudonym "Morgan." (who is age 16). It is a beautiful family love story. Kate offers helpful principles and perspective for parents to love and support their queer children.

Kate also talks about her decision to no longer participate in the Church and what we can do to build bridges of understanding between those in the Church and those who have left the Church. Kate is not asking other people to leave the Church—rather, she is suggesting what we can do to bring both parties together as members of the same human family.

Morgan, who is wise beyond their years, talks about what gives them hope and shares their advice to queer people who have less more. struggle with those who don't accept their sexuality/gender identity and/or are feeling suicidal.

Thank you, Kate and Morgan, for being on the podcast. Your story helps us learn how to better support others.

Links: TikTok Page: @Midlife Exmo Momma -- Please note that, though Kate truly makes an effort to build bridges between members and former members of the Church, some content may not feel appropriate for those seeking to build their testimony of the Church. Please use discretion when watching her videos.

My good brother David (author of “Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question”) joins us to talk about his new book which gives readers a gospel-based framework and tools to navigate the increasingly polarized and contentious landscape of modern society.

In the podcast, David talks about why he wrote the book, who is the audience, and how he hopes it helps us better come together as the same human family. David talks in a practical way of the skills and approaches to eliminate contention and become peacemakers.

If you are feeling tensions of conflict with family, friends, fellow church members—or want to better ministering tools to bring people together, I invite you to read/share David’s book. It is a serious book needed in a divisive time—packed with the latest information from the finest minds, research, and scriptural/church leader insights to help heal our divides.

Thank you, Dave, for all your great work in our community to bring us together.

Links:

Dave’s book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/158958774X

Dave’s book on Amazon (Kindle): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CZ4R7S2T

Dave’s book at Kofford Books: https://gregkofford.com/products/healing-our-divides

Dave’s e-mail: healingourdivides@gmail.com

My friend Arthur Wiseman (who returned from his successful mission in Gilbert Arizona in Dec of 2023, plans to become a therapist, and returned to live in Arizona) shares his mission experience. Arthur (who knew he was gay since age 6 and planned to tell no one) shares what it was like starting his mission and feeling spiritual promptings (many times during his mission) to open up about being gay because of a desire to help others find hope and Christ in their lives.

Arthur talks about a variety of wonderful, spiritual, and sometimes painful experiences only possible because he was open. Arthur talks about developing a strong relationship with Heavenly Father and making Christ the center of his life. He talks about the personal revelation he is receiving. Arthur also talks about how being vulnerable allowed him to be a safe place for his companions to open up about their lives—providing beautiful insights on how to better minister to each other. Arthur talks about his supportive companions and what they proactively did to show their support.

This is a powerful podcast from a brave and faithful gay Latter-day Saint. Arthur (and all those allies who support him) give me hope for the future as we work to build Zion. Thank you for being on the podcast Authur. Honored that more can hear your story. You are a good man.

Links:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555422532064

Instagram: @arthur.w.wiseman

Facebook Group mentioned in the podcast: https://www.facebook.com/groups/706348281603277

Facebook Group to Support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

** This podcast mentions suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text chat 988**

Guest host Tonya Miller interviews Kyle Jones, M.D., who talks about his most recent book, “When All Hope Seems Lost: A Gospel Perspective on Mental Illness in Youth,” which will be released later this month. Kyle is a Family Practice physician who works primarily with neurodivergent individuals and their families. He is active in the Church, and he and his wife are the parents of four children.

Kyle shares his story of first being diagnosed with mental illness as a student, with significant worsening during his medical residency. This is the topic of his first book: “Fallible: A Memoir of a Young Physician’s Struggle with Mental Illness.” He talks about noticing mood disorder symptoms when he was a teenager, but not realizing that he was dealing with mental illness at the time. The cumulative effects of the stress he experienced as a medical student and resident led him to eventually learn that he was living with anxiety and depression, for which he still takes medication and participates in therapy. Kyle describes ways that he started to share his story with other physicians and learned that he was not as alone as he feared. From there, he has continued to develop opportunities for providing outreach and education about mental illness, especially for members of the Church. He began to realize that there are not many resources about mental illness for youth in the Church, along with ongoing myths and stigma about the relation of mental illness to the gospel, which led him to write this book.

Kyle describes the complexities that youth in the Church face, and ways that specific gospel principles can help them heal, even when, in some cases, there is no “cure” for what they are dealing with. He shares stories of teens who have worked though challenges with mental illness that he interviewed for his book. He also interviewed mental health professionals who work with teens and talks about some of the insights they provide. Kyle refers to what he calls the “Broken Record” messages of the gospel that can bolster youth who fear they have done something “wrong” to “cause” their mental illness. They are: 1) Jesus loves you, no matter what, 2) Mental illness is not your fault, and 3) There are people here to help.

I am very grateful for Kyle’s willingness to share his story and perspectives around ways that principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ can ground and empower youth if they are experiencing mental illness while simultaneously navigating the complexities of life.

As a side note, I’m focusing only on sharing stories associated with the Queer-LDS experience now. However, if you would like to share your story about a different Church- or gospel-related topic on Listen, Learn and Love, please contact Tonya about the possibility of working with her as my guest-host (e-mail Tonya at tonya@cottonwood.care).

Links for Kyle’s books and other resources are found below.
www.kylebradfordjones.com
Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram: @kbjones11
Previous books: www.amazon.com/stores/Kyle-Bradford-Jones/author/B082WKSNYY?
When All Hope Seems Lost: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYCXFVB9

My friend Jashon Ray Fabia (Age 33, single, LDS, RM, BYU-H grad in Psychology and Music, finishing Master's in Music Therapy) bravely shares his story as a queer Filipino Latter-day Saint (our first guest from the Philippines) and his new book (see show notes).

Jashon shares the shame he felt which continued until he came out to himself in his mid-20’s and others allowing Jashon to feel authentic and reduce/eliminate shame. It is a brave story of working through suicidal ideation to find hope and peace. Jashon talks about his focus on service to help other marginalized group, future projects and hopes for other queer Filipinos.

Jashon concludes with reconciliation with his parents including grace with family members along this journey. Thank you, Jashon, for being on the podcast, writing your book, and sharing your story to give hope to others. You are a good man doing much healing in our world. Glad to have you on the podcast.

Links:

Jashon’s book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948218917

Facebook Group to Support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143