Finding Words in Hard Times - the podcast Jon Swanson

Even when a death is recent, sometimes people take a break from crying. Sometimes people laugh. These “breaks” don’t mean, however, that grief is over. That we are “all better.” Far from it.







We aren’t disappointing anyone if we have a break from the hard work of grief. We are surviving. And if anyone says, “I’m glad that you are laughing, you must be all better” instead of punching them, send them this podcast.







Get your coffee or tea and sit with me for a bit.







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Watch episode 104 – What grieving looks like – The Dual Process Model







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Buy the book: “This is Hard”: What I say when loved ones die.







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For more help in finding words in hard times, subscribe and listen to the podcast:YouTubeApple Podcast







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Or subscribe to the newsletter: http://thisishard.substack.com







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Support the “Finding Words in Hard Times” podcast and newsletter







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Jon Swanson is a hospital chaplain, writer, and teacher. His books are available at https://anewroutine.com







Finding Words in Hard Times and Finding Words in Hard Times – the podcast provide stories and tools to help you be more comfortable as you help others in hard times.







What you hear here is not medical advice. Call 988 or 911 if you need immediate support or medical help







For all the lists and resources mentioned in these episodes, visit Finding Words in Hard Times resources







#findingwordsinhardtimes #funeral #griefsupport #bereavement

Most of us have been told that we need to be strong at the time of loss.  We hear a voice telling us to be strong for the kids, for our mom, for the family. But what if we don’t need to be strong for anyone?







This week I’ll talk about that and read a chapter from This is Hard: What I say when loved ones die.







Because in times of loss, you don’t have to tough it out. Not if I’m your chaplain, anyway.







Get your coffee or tea and sit with me for a bit.







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Buy the book: “This is Hard”: What I say when loved ones die.







For more help in finding words in hard times, subscribe and listen to the podcast:YouTubeApple Podcast







Or subscribe to the newsletter: http://thisishard.substack.com.







Support the “Finding Words in Hard Times” podcast and newsletter







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Jon Swanson is a hospital chaplain, writer, and teacher. His books are available at https://anewroutine.com







Finding Words in Hard Times and Finding Words in Hard Times – the podcast provide stories and tools to help you be more comfortable as you help others in hard times.







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What you hear here is not medical advice. Call 988 if you need immediate support.







For all the lists and resources mentioned in these episodes, visit Finding Words in Hard Times resources







#findingwordsinhardtimes #funeral #griefsupport #bereavement

Almost every time I’m in a room after a death (I’m a hospital chaplain), someone will talk about not being able to think clearly. A name will disappear from their memory, a story will lose its way. In today’s episode we’ll talk a little about that. And I read from my book, This is Hard, what I say to people who can’t think. (It’s understandable).







And, true confession, this episode is a week later than planned. Because it was hard to think last week.







Get your coffee or tea and sit with me for a bit.







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Here’s the dual process model of grief support







Find this episode on YouTube: 106 – It’s okay that you can’t think right now.







Subscribe to the newsletter at https://thisishard.substack.com







What you hear here is not medical advice. Call 988 if you need immediate support.







Buy me a coffee to support the “Finding Words in Hard Times” podcast and newsletter.







For all the lists and resources mentioned in these episodes, visit Finding Words in Hard Times resources.

A few years back, a friend got a difficult diagnosis in her family. She reached out to see if I had any suggestions of what might be helpful to her family.







Though we know that death is inevitable, at these moments we realize that it’s nearer than expected. This episode isn’t about giving up. Instead, I want to talk about the kinds of things to pay attention to when living with the reality of dying.







I offer some questions to consider when exploring the diagnosis, when setting up a support system, when thinking about living, when working on the details and the remembering, when anticipating the dying.







Get your coffee or tea and sit with me for a bit.







Mentioned in this episode







101 Ways to Find Meaning In Suffering: Words to Express, Actions to Take, Gifts to Provide







The Conversation Project







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Here’s the video for this episode







Subscribe to the newsletter at https://thisishard.substack.com







What you hear here is not medical advice. Call 988 if you need immediate support.







Buy me a coffee to support the “Finding Words in Hard Times” podcast and newsletter.







For all the lists and resources mentioned in these episodes, visit Finding Words in Hard Times resources.

The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement has been guiding how I help people for more than a year. In this podcast episode, I describe the model and talk about why it’s helpful. If you are looking for a way to describe what is going on in the days and weeks and lifetime after a death, this grief model is a place to start.







Mentioned in this episode







References for the Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement: https://findingwordsinhardtimes.com/dpm-bibliography/







This page includes references for the original articles from Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut.







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Video at 104 – What grieving looks like – The Dual Process Model







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Subscribe to the newsletter at https://thisishard.substack.com







What you hear here is not medical advice. Call 988 if you need immediate support.







Support the “Finding Words in Hard Times” podcast and newsletter at https://buymeacoffee.com/socialmediachaplain







For all the lists and resources mentioned in these episodes, visit Finding Words in Hard Times resources

In August, 2022, I created a survey for people who had lost a loved one.







I asked four core questions about their experience after a death: what they found helpful in 1) what people said or 2) did or 3) gave in grief support materials, and 4) what people wish someone had said or done. I asked for demographics about their loved one and about them.







Today I’m talking about what I learned. Mentioned in this episode







The book. This Is Hard: What I Say When Loved Ones Die.







More on telling stories: https://thisishard.substack.com/p/001-helpful-in-loss-making-space







Creating space for a conversation about a loved one: https://beinghelpfulinloss.files.wordpress.com/2023/02/tellmeaboutyourlovedone.pdf







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For more of this, watch on YouTube: What I learned when I asked what grieving people found helpful







Subscribe to the newsletter at https://thisishard.substack.com







What you hear here is not medical advice. Call 988 if you need immediate support.







Support the “Finding Words in Hard Times” podcast and newsletter at https://buymeacoffee.com/socialmediachaplain







For all the lists and resources mentioned in these episodes, visit Finding Words in Hard Times resources https://findingwordsinhardtimes.com/r…