The Gnar Couch Podcast Gnar Couch, LLC

Half the crew is off to TDS Enduro in California, so we're droppin' a few old, crusty episodes this week. Specifically, the ones just prior to and the cause of our "cancellation" by "people we don't know."
This week, we're selling a fictional product called "Blackfist." Actually, Black Fist is real. You can find it pretty much anywhere porn is available, but our product isn't exactly what you think.
We journey into the wild craftsmanship of top caps by Dark Bike Co., something so finely made you'd swear it was forged in the fires of Mordor. Next, we're talking fingering strategies for those with glamour nails, and yes, a totally plausible business venture about turning semen into a snortable party favor. Hi Shark Tank.
Expect to get advice that’s as useful as a downhill bike in Bentonville, updates on Gnard Fest 2023 that are more anticipated than a Trailer Park Boys reunion special, and giveaways that might just make you feel like you've won a Golden Dicket to Willy Wanker's Chocolate Starfish Factory.
So, plug in, gather the family around the radio, and let's crank this together. It's going to be more fun than watching lesbian cat moms react/utilize to cucumbers on YouTube/OnlyFans. 
Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month.
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.

It's official. We live in a trailer. And that trailer needs a name. Thanks to you, our listeners, for the most appropriate and kind names for our rickety-ass trailer studio. Your great suggestions, like "Cum Bucket" and "Bussy Massage Clinic" were much appreciated. That's right, we've got zero chill and a fucked-up funny bone. Rob and JP are preparing for their TDS trip with special correspondent P**o. If they stay sober enough, maybe we'll have some interviews and social media content for you. Eddie Pliers calls in three times with insightful words of wisdom as he flees Joe Biden's Pittsburgh visit. We have no idea what the f**k he's talking about, but it might involve Boston Rob running for president and having sex with JP.  Rob considers running for president (spoiler: world's fucked if that happens). Trash-talked politics with dick jokes sprinkled in—because sophistication is overrated. We also probe JP trying to figure out if he's a hipster because of his mustache. Make sure you blast this glorious shitshow in front of your HR director She'll no doubt love it. Flip on, flip off, tune in. Fuck it, let's roll.Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month.
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.

Gnar Couch Podshow 157 is somewhere between our best and 157th worst show. Cumb with us as we discuss a plethora of important topics and sometimes talk about mountain biking to bore you.
We've dedicated ourselves to living our brand as we prepare to move the studio from Cheef's apartment, where his gay neighbor (geighbor, as it is) stomps around like Shrek all night, to JP's trailer. We're looking for a wrap sponsor so we can yank the thing around with Rob's Taco podcasting our high-brow humor in quaint bike towns across America.
Boston Rob is now lusting for sponsors like a teenager with his first Playboy. Wanna give us money? Hit him up. Or just check us out on Patreon. We take money any way we can get it.
That's probably why JP has a realistic sex doll named Miguel squatting in the back of his van. He estimates Miguel's weight at 150 pounds, 130 of which is most likely peen, according to Eddie Pliers, a long-time listener.
Other topics include self-anointing elk who piss all over themselves to attract a mate. Give it a try if you're having trouble getting laid. We also go in depth on whether or not it's possible to die choking on semen. (Guess what? It is, and it's reportedly happened.) And, since our tangents are about as stable as a unicycle on a tightrope, JP and Cheef randomly spend about five minutes trying to convince JP and Jimmy to actually start watching Trailer Park Boys.
So, pour yourself a bag of paint and prepare to breathe deep because this is another nonsensical shitshow you'll want to soon forget.
Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month.
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.
00:00 Oklahoma Blood: Stompin' Nachos.
11:09 Can you die from swallowing semen?
17:23 Cheef's loud geighbor.
21:40 He died at the Maverick, I think.
26:04 Remo Piehole and ninjitsjew
31:03 Biology with Deano the XC Nerd
37:39 Great collab idea
42:39 Miguel, JPs 150-pound sex doll
50:00 Queuing with the boomers
55:13 Rob wants more sponsors for the show 
01:00:28 Our new studio is a trailer
01:07:29 More trailer talk
01:10:13 Baiku and Bliz Eyewear
01:13:50 Buy from thelostco
01:19:59 Join our Patreon
01:25:23 Good bye

Hey, bumb-lookers and therapy-needers, welcome to the unsanitized playground of banter we call the Gnar Couch Podshow, episode 156. We start this clusterfuck with Cheef using airtime to try to sell his bike. Classy.
Paying homage to true courage, we hear from Ryan Beamish and thefund.org, an organization that helps connect veterans with mountain biking and cares for our nation’s critically wounded, ill, and injured service members, veterans, and military families. Hear about their match campaign and all the cool shit they do for veterans. Meanwhile, Boston Rob’s flat (or fat?) feet keep him grounded, but his dreams still soar...kind of.
Get the lowdown on our spirited escapades at TDS, where the shenanigans are as plentiful as the dust clouds. Beamish, Boston Rob, JP, and Colon Bumb swap stories of mistaken identities, pizza mishaps, and why TDS is a Disneyland for dirtbags.
Experience bonding over handlebars as we revel in the therapeutic rush of mountain biking with our service members. And strap on your Bliz sunglasses as Cheef offers you protection from...well, we're still trying to figure that out.
We’ll also slip into the DMs of man love with a look at Cheef's favorite male yoga influencer, Flow.
Lastly, nestle into the fuzzy underbelly of mustaches and get philosophical over "pork swords." Confused? Good. You'll fit right in.
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.
00:00 "Wanna buy my bike? No discount, just sniff the saddle."
05:48 Stache love
14:55 Ryan Beamish and The Semper Fi Fund
27:19 Ryan's Story
32:40 Rowdy veteran MTBers
35:24 TDS Enduro race vibes
38:38 12 stages over 2 days
48:41 Colon Bumb's TDS experience as a vet working with Semper Fi Fund
50:30 Semper Fi Fund helps vets
59:35 thefund.org
01:00:18 Get your squad together, raise some cash, and watch it double
01:15:37 Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul
01:21:00 Demon Core discussion
01:28:20 Sean Strickland vs Machine Gun Kelly
01:35:45 Great show

Yo, gnards! Get your bumbs ready because we're diving dick-deep into the tricky shitstorm of omnisexual allure, firing off opinions that are as frank as a nun in a brothel.
We're tearing into the gnar-gnar world of slopestyle and the performance gap between male and female athletes. Are we stoked or just stoking the flame?
Boston Rob experiences TP terror and JP and Cheef plot world domination with their own private army. We'll riff on everything from punk band pussies to why a Mormon militia might just be the shit.
Would you give Dean's Keen Unclean Peen Sauce a try? The only correct answer is yes. Never heard of it? That's because you can't buy it and we just named it. Thanks to Deano the XC Nerd for sending us a bottle. 
JP's angrometer spikes when we discuss the pretty much anything 2024 Crankworx Rotorua. His rant leaves him breathless and flustered, marking the first time this year he's actually gotten angrier than Jimmy.
Low-flying Apache helicopters in Salt Lake Valley send spiraling into fever dream stories that are about as stable as Gary Busey on rollerblades. And if this show isn't dumb enough yet, we discuss ass-cleaning tech because that's just who we are and that's who we care about.
Enjoy this riveting episode!
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.
00:00 Dealing with f*****g ant invasion on toilet.
08:32 Feeling like a total dirtbag uncle, damn.
15:08 Midlife crises at 30 years old.
21:06 Be careful how you expose your kids.
26:14 Confrontation.
28:16 Thickening mustache.
35:42 Sexuality is a fucking complex and diverse thing.
41:37 Confused and frustrated, ready for confrontation.
44:27 Playing brass instruments requires skill and regulation.
51:23 Crafted with fucking crazy exotic fucking ingredients.
59:57 Trains f*****g echo through the goddamn gorge.
01:04:14 We wake up and get the hell out!
01:09:29 I'll achieve my goals.
01:16:31 Red Bull Rampage gives out top-notch support.
01:17:00 Sponsors pay for events?
01:22:22 Not whining, but grinding. Earned that mill, hustling, not bitching. Sponsored himself, conquered.
01:29:06 Get 30% off at enjoywinter.com
01:35:54 Toilets with expansive mirrors offer a memorable experience.
01:42:24 Those sellout companies like Nike and Red Bull actually hook their athletes up with sick shit, like hyperbaric chambers for recovery.
01:45:21 A diverse and colorful cast of characters.

It's time to corrupt your eardrums with another idiotic episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow – bringing you a symphony of chaos sure to alert your pen 15. Boston Rob, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Cheef here with the usual band of Zoom room rejects.
Buckle the fuck up for episode 154. It's a clusterfuck of cosmic proportions. We deep dive into the gibberish goldmine that is speaking in tongues and explore our listeners' desires for Cheef's clappin' cheeks. But that's not all. Deano the XC Nerd sends in a bottle of his homemade hot sauces. Does it include botulism? No one has died yet, but that could change. We also discuss one of the seven books he's written. He also calls in and drops knowledge on the Oral Connections line. We'd pay him since he gives us 90% of our content, but we don't make any money. Why the hell is a guy this smart listening anyway?Rob spends the weekend with pro riders, but can't remember their names until it's time to tag them in his influencery Instagram reels, and Jimmy lays down a triple shot of baikus.
So, stay tuned, you beautiful bastards, ‘cause this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow makes about as much sense as a homeless real estate agent. Let's get fucky.
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.
00:00 Cuntry intro.
06:53 Broke in Utah, but radio rich.
11:36 Stand up panel with brutal, funny acts.
21:42 Remo's update.
26:49 F**king tiny doses can kill a human. Damn.
28:07 How the f**k should I know how long it takes to print a trillion dollars? I'm just out here, trying to send butt pics and survive.
39:03 Loved gravel, but still gotta impress Rob.
44:21 Deano's book.
50:25 Degrowth capitalism conspiracy tease.
53:00 What is Kurtis Downs' name?
59:17 Shitty group chats with my southern friends.
01:06:12 GoPro interview idea for Eric.
01:10:21 Get badass shades from Bliz Eyewear.
01:14:33 Thanks to Mike Randall at The Lost Co.
01:18:53 Talking in tongues isn't real.
01:29:10 Rob's campsite is an outdoor hotel room.
01:32:54 Zoom room nonsense is the best way to end the show.