Good Grief O'Connell Funeral Homes

Who says it’s too late to be talking about horror? 

In this month’s episode, Pete and Amber explore how death, dying, and funerals are depicted in the media. Amber, with her penchant for horror movies, offers a unique perspective, revealing the dual aspects of death in cinematic and television narratives—between the gruesome and the serene. As the conversation unfolds, the duo delves deeper into the accuracy of these portrayals. Amber underscores the profound impact these depictions can have on people's perceptions of death, particularly when so few have first-hand exposure to its unadorned reality. 

They dissect how classic shows like CSI and Grey's Anatomy amplify the drama, from gripping emergency room scenes to intriguing portrayals of funeral directors in forensic television. The discussion then seamlessly transitions to the big screen, with the mention of iconic titles such as "My Girl," "The Shining," and "Harold and Maude." They also explore the depth of research in modern TV productions, unveiling how these programs meticulously detail the workings of real-life processes.

This episode offers a thought-provoking analysis of the evolving media landscape's portrayal of death, and an eye-opening exploration for those curious about how shows and films shape our understanding of mortality.

Takeaways:


From the dualities of gruesome and serene portrayals to the dramatization in TV shows, it's evident that media plays a pivotal role in shaping our understanding of these subjects. Understanding this influence is crucial for individuals seeking a more nuanced and realistic perspective on death.

In this episode:

[1:55] Pete kicks off the episode by introducing the month’s topic–how death, dying, and funerals are portrayed in the media. Horror movie junkie, Amber, talks about the dual perspectives of death in shows and movies: the gruesome and the serene.

[4:40] Pete and Amber delve into the accuracy of the violent and horror portrayals of death. Amber reiterates how these depictions can be impactful in shaping people’s perception of death, especially with how very few are exposed to its realities.

[6:49] The duo talk about all-time favorite TV shows such as CSI and Grey’s Anatomy. They explore the dramatized portrayal of most scenes in these shows, from the intense emergency room moments to how funeral directors are depicted in forensic TV.

[10:28] From My Girl, to The Shining, Harold and Maude, and more–Pete and Amber transition to movies and compare their impact versus TV shows that are built for weekly episodes and cliffhangers.

[15:53] Amber and Pete talk about modern day TV productions and the depth of their research on how the processes actually work. They also address the impact of hyper transparency in these shows on how families perceive critical issues such as terminal diagnosis and surgeries.

Resources:


O'Connell Funeral Homes
Amber Miller
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Quotes


“The realities of deaths are behind closed doors…So, if our only experience with death is what we see on the media, then we assume that’s what it is in natural life. And when we actually have a natural experience with death in our real life, we have this disconnect–we expect one thing, we see another thing and it turns into something altogether different.” - Amber Miller

In this episode, Amber and Pete shed light on the topic of hospice care, sharing their insights and debunking common misconceptions. Amber starts by explaining how she chose this topic for the episode, drawing from her experiences with families who often express regret for not admitting their loved ones to hospice sooner. Pete raises an important question about whether patients in hospice have a say in their own care. They both address the misconception that hospice is exclusively for cancer patients and delve into other myths, including strange perceptions about hospice workers and the belief that a physician's referral is necessary for admission. Amber emphasizes the importance of being proactive when it comes to the care of a loved one with a terminal illness.

This episode is a valuable resource for listeners seeking to gain a deeper understanding of hospice care and to challenge common misconceptions surrounding it.

Takeaways:


Hospice isn't necessarily a last resort or limited to end-of-life cancer care. It's a comprehensive and compassionate approach that empowers patients to have a say in their care.

In this episode:

[1:30] Amber shares how she comes up with the topic of hospice for the podcast episode. She recounts how many of the families she meets with wish they’ve admitted their loved ones in the hospice sooner.

[3:39] Pete and Amber debunk the misconception tagged with hospices that they are only for people diagnosed with cancer. Pete raises the question on whether the patients in hospices have a say for their care.

[6:45] Pete and Amber further delve into the myths and misconceptions surrounding hospices such as the strange perceptions on the workers and that a physician’s referral is required to be admitted. Amber highlights the importance of being proactive for a loved one suffering from a terminal illness.

[9:01] Pete asks Amber how expensive hospices are. They also discuss the possibility of going back to regular treatment if a patient outlives their prognosis.

[11:45] Amber shares how funeral directors work closely with hospice nurses and how they help point families to hospices that can provide care to their loved ones in the area.

Resources:


O'Connell Funeral Homes
Amber Miller
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Quotes

“99.9% of all families that I meet with, one of the first things they say is, 'wish we would’ve gotten our loved ones in hospice sooner.'” - Amber Miller

“Oftentimes, the additional care that a loved one gets on hospice allows them to actually do better.” - Amber Miller

In this episode, Amber and Pete dive into the topic of body and organ donation, debunking myths and addressing common concerns. They begin by highlighting the importance of discussing donation throughout the year. Pete raises the misconception about open caskets for organ donors, questioning whether they are allowed.

They also tackle the myth surrounding autopsies and how funerals look like when the deceased has chosen to donate their body to science. Amber explains the typical funeral process in such cases and emphasizes the value of body donations to professionals in various fields, especially medicine. Lastly, they discuss how tissue and organ donation can impact the appearance of the deceased, addressing concerns often expressed by families.

By dispelling myths and sharing insights, Amber and Pete provide a comprehensive understanding of the donation process and its implications for funeral arrangements.

Takeaways:


Body and organ donation is an important topic that should be talked about.
Body donations make significant contributions not just to the field of medicine but also to different professions such as those involved in the embalming process.

In this episode:

[2:07] Amber talks about April as the National Donate Life Month and explains the importance of talking about body and organ donation year-round. Pete starts the discussion on myths by asking if organ donors are not allowed to have open caskets in their funeral.

[06:53] The duo talk about the myth on autopsies and whether they are conducted for free when requested by the family of a deceased who donated their body.

[10:56] Pete asks Amber what funerals look like when the deceased had decided to donate their body to science. Amber explains how the funeral process usually goes and how valuable these body donations are to the professionals in their field and in medicine.

[14:09] Pete and Amber discuss tissue and organ donation and how it may alter the appearance which is often a major concern for the family of the deceased.

Resources:


O'Connell Funeral Homes
Amber Miller
Holiday PDF
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In this episode, Amber and Pete delve into the world of embalming and cremation myths. They discuss the fate of jewelry, metallic teeth fillings, and implants during these processes, debunking misconceptions along the way. From how embalming doesn't grant permanence or produce odors to debunking the myth that remains are directly set on flames during cremation, the duo provides insightful information on these often misunderstood topics. They also shed light on the alternative techniques used by embalmers to create a natural appearance without sewing lips and eyes shut.

This engaging episode provides an enlightening and fun exploration of these intriguing topics, promoting a better understanding of embalming and cremation practices.

Takeaways:


This enlightening and engaging discussion promotes a better understanding of these practices and encourages listeners to approach embalming and cremation with more accurate knowledge.

In this episode:

[1:25] Pete brings up the YouTube video sent by Amber a few months ago which prompted the idea for the episode’s topic–embalming and cremation myths.

[2:50] Amber and Pete talk about what happens to the jewelry, metallic and gold teeth fillings, and implants of the deceased when they are being embalmed or cremated.

[7:04] The duo tackle the myths about how embalmed bodies last forever and that embalming makes the remains smell. Amber debunks both myths and explains how the process just delays the decomposition of the remains.

[10:48] Pete and Amber talk about a popular myth that embalmers sew the lips and eyes shut when necessary. Amber shares how embalmers actually employ alternative techniques to create a natural and peaceful appearance during the embalming process.

[13:17] The two talk about the myth that embalmers remove all the organs during the process.

Resources:


FREE Informational Seminar
O'Connell Funeral Homes
Amber Miller
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Quotes


“We use flames to heat up the crematory itself. But I think a lot of people feel that the misconception is 'Oh, my loved one’s body is going to be lit on fire,' that is not how the cremation process works.” - Amber Miller

In this month's episode, Amber and Pete explore the often-misunderstood topic of funeral costs and the crucial role of funeral directors in managing the intricacies of the funeral process. They discuss the perception of families regarding the costs and how funeral directors handle this sensitive issue.

Amber provides insights into the professional needs that contribute to the costs, such as their time, education, and overall expertise. They also highlight the significance of a funeral director's presence in alleviating stress and maintaining respect throughout the process. 

Additionally, Amber shares about the post-funeral aftercare services they offer, ensuring families have the necessary resources to navigate their grief.

Join them for an enlightening conversation on the mission of funeral directors and the complexities of funeral costs.

Takeaways:


There are a lot of factors that contribute to funeral costs, including the time, education, and expertise required by funeral directors. 
The presence of a compassionate funeral director can greatly reduce stress for grieving families and ensure a respectful and meaningful funeral process.


In this episode:

[1:30] Amber and Pete talk about the main mission of funeral directors in handling all the details of the funeral process and how they deal with the perceptions of the families regarding the costs.

[3:09] Amber provides an insight into the costs they have to deal with, highlighting the professional needs. She expounds on the time, education, and expertise their profession entails which contribute to the costs involved in providing comprehensive funeral services.

[7:30] Pete asks Amber how many people usually work on the whole funeral process. Amber explains how everyone in their team of six directors, pre planning specialists, and office administrators get highly involved in the intricacies of the process.

[11:10] Pete talks about how the presence of a funeral director can take away the stress from the grieving families and make the process more respectful. Amber adds that there are cremation services that do not proceed with the process without the guidance and involvement of a funeral director.

[12:59] Amber shares about the post funeral aftercare services they offer such as sending out cards, text messages, inviting the families to grief support groups, and making sure they have all the resources they need to process their grief peacefully.

Resources:


O'Connell Family Funeral Homes
Amber Miller
Dos and Don'ts Guide
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Quotes


“We’re diligent about trying to take everything off your plate so you can focus on your own grief and healing.” - Amber Miller

In this episode, Pete and Amber are joined by Mike Miller of the Willow River Cemetery in Hudson, WI. Mike shares his personal journey, recalling how his fascination with the cemetery began when he worked there as a 15-year-old summer job worker. As the discussion unfolds, Mike opens up about the challenges and rewards of meeting with grieving families, emphasizing the fulfilling responsibility of assisting them through the burial arrangements process. The trio dives into the intricacies of the sale process and the careful consideration given to selecting burial spaces in collaboration with the families. They also explore the significance of maintaining the cemetery grounds and the growing trend of families seeking a designated place, like a cemetery, for solace and remembrance.

Throughout the episode, the hosts and Mike emphasize the profound role cemeteries play in initiating the grief work process and providing individuals with a means to find solace and commemorate their loved ones.

Takeaways:


Cemeteries should not be seen merely as burial places, but rather as significant spaces for grief work and commemoration.
The role of a cemetery caretaker goes beyond administrative tasks, as they provide crucial support to grieving families during the burial arrangements process.

In this episode:


O'Connell Family Funeral Homes
Amber Miller
Willow River Cemetery
Daily Affirmations
Read Show Transcript

Quotes


“It’s a big responsibility, but there’s also some reward that goes with that if I feel like I (kinda) got them through the process of burial arrangements…little as painful as they thought it might have been.” - Mike Miller
“Time is the best healer.” -Mike Miller on grief