90 episodes

Kelly is a life coach, counselor, teacher and parent who loves to teach other parents how to yell less and love more in your home to reduce tension and increase happiness within your 4 walls. She loves to unlock the secrets to creating magic and connection between the parents and children to have Harmony in the Home.

Harmony in the Hom‪e‬ Kelly Hutcheson

    • Parenting
    • 5.0 • 178 Ratings

Kelly is a life coach, counselor, teacher and parent who loves to teach other parents how to yell less and love more in your home to reduce tension and increase happiness within your 4 walls. She loves to unlock the secrets to creating magic and connection between the parents and children to have Harmony in the Home.

    090: Toothpaste Words

    090: Toothpaste Words

    Everybody knows this phrase: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” We push this idea for children to say in order to not cede emotional control to a bully, but the simple truth is that words DO hurt. When I was an elementary school teacher and counselor, I did an exercise I call “toothpaste words” to demonstrate this principle. The origin escapes me, but I have used it many times. It goes something like this:







    I had a funny-looking puppet and a paper heart representing the puppet’s emotions. I would have my students come up to the front of the classroom one by one to say mean things about the puppet’s glasses or dress and squeeze a little toothpaste from a tube onto the paper heart. Then, when everyone was finished, I would say, “okay, now we are going to fix those hurtful things by complimenting the puppet and we’ll put the toothpaste back in the tube!” Of course, it was impossible to put all the toothpaste back into the tube. Unkind words or actions leave a lasting mark in real life, too.







    The primary application is to teach children empathy by helping them understand the ways in which their behavior affects other people. It’s an engaging visual presentation that you can refer to again and again; saying “those are toothpaste words” will elicit a stronger empathetic response than just saying “that’s naughty.” But your children may also call you out for your own toothpaste words and actions. If you are willing to set aside your own ego, you will learn from this experience as much as they do.

    • 20 min
    089: Red Light Green Light

    089: Red Light Green Light

    Before I dive in, a little thing that’s been on my mind recently. I’ve noticed that when I have a question or am looking for a solution to an issue in my life, it helps to sit in on a coaching session where a coach is assisting another parent with a similar difficulty. I’m thinking about setting up an online space where we can all meet together and learn from each other, and I’ll mention that in this episode. Let me know what you think! Now, on to the main event:







    I often refer to various levels of emotion using a name borrowed from a children’s game, “red light green light.” “Green light” is status quo, “red light” is the red zone (whether sadness and sulking or anger and rage), and there’s a broad swath of in-between emotions I call “yellow light.”







    In this episode, I’ll talk about some strategies I employ which have helped my children and students get from “yellow light” back into “green light.” I’ll talk about ways in which my children help ME go from “yellow light” to “green light.” Most importantly, I’ll talk about how we can help our children perceive, understand, and manage their own emotions. Everybody has to start from zero, and if you weren’t taught these things, it’s extra hard for you because you’re trying to learn and teach at the same time. But I know you can do it, because I have done it, and we are much more alike than you think!







    Modeling and explaining healthy responses to emotional stimuli is important, and even more important is normalizing feeling all kinds of emotions. Emotionally healthy children are not always happy. This aspect of parenting is mission-critical: your children need to know that they are allowed to feel all the feelings, and nothing has gone wrong. And don’t worry. With practice, you’ll get there. I’m getting there too. We’re all in this together!







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    Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com.







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    • 31 min
    088: Breaking Up With a Toxic Friend

    088: Breaking Up With a Toxic Friend

    Last week, I asked you all over social media: what are some traits of a toxic friendship or relationship? I got answers from “feeling drained all the time” to “feeling anxiety” to “thinking about the relationship takes away from family time.” A toxic interpersonal relationship in any form is a massive drain on body and spirit, and it’s often necessary to set boundaries for your own sanity.







    This episode is about breaking up with a very specific toxic friend that almost all of us have. This friend is constantly by our side, demanding that we give them our attention. Our friend bothers us when we should be working, spending time with our family, or even sleeping! This friend is a massive vortex draining us of productivity, and we need to set some boundaries. So I’ll be teaching you how to break up with (some of you may have already guessed) your cell phone!







    I felt like I had my cell phone usage habits under control - and then 2020 happened, and everything went to pieces! So I have a goal to crack down on this particular toxic friendship, and I’m inviting you to join me as together, we employ several strategies (which I’ll talk about in this episode) in order to relegate the phone to its proper position as a tool to be used, not a master to control us.







    Subscribe on Apple!







    Subscribe on Android!







    Join my FREE parenting bootcamp!







    Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:







    Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com.







    Find me on Instagram!







    Find me on Facebook!

    • 28 min
    087: Big Emotions Part 2 – Examples

    087: Big Emotions Part 2 – Examples

    Last week, we discussed what happens when our kids have big emotions. This week, we’ll talk about some examples from my life (that I share with my children’s permission) about how David and I helped our children work through strongly emotional moments. As you develop grace and compassion for your child, you will be easier on yourself, and vice-versa.







    When your child feels a big emotion with a cause that seems inconsequential or petty to you, remember that they have to experience the whole range of human emotion for the first time, and sometimes feelings are overwhelming. Remember that this emotion is proportionate to their age and stage in development. Above all, remember that IT’S NOT PERSONAL, and your child is merely having a hard time, not giving you a hard time. Become a mentor, not a martyr.







    This week, I’ll also share some strategies to practice during calm times that can help your child regain emotional control during a meltdown. Having big emotions, whether at age 2 or age 42, is hard. But we can do hard things. I am rooting for you! :)







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    Join my FREE parenting bootcamp!







    Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:







    Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com.







    Find me on Instagram!







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    • 26 min
    086: Managing Big Emotions

    086: Managing Big Emotions

    How do we help our children manage big emotions?







    I recently helped Grady with homework. This boy is multiplying triple-digit numbers by triple digit numbers. I marveled at his skill with multiplication. It didn't come naturally to him; he had to learn by trial and error, and nobody got mad at him when he didn't know how to multiply big numbers.







    Now, here's the parallel. Our children experience the exact same ENORMOUS gamut of human emotions we experience, and they don't have any strategies for dealing with their emotion. Imagine experiencing huge emotions, but not having the strategies you've developed in nearly 30 years of life! It would be BRUTAL. As parents, we have the opportunity and the duty to exercise grace and compassion as we teach our children how to manage big emotions.







    Now, that's not to say we want to remove emotion! If you've read the book or seen either film of The Stepford Wives, you know about the perfect housewives of Stepford. We do not want that in our children. We want them to have emotions — ALL emotions — but we want them to be able to process their emotions in a healthy way. So hit play and let's dive in!







    Subscribe on Apple!







    Subscribe on Android!







    Join my FREE parenting bootcamp!







    Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:







    Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com.







    Find me on Instagram!







    Find me on Facebook!

    • 37 min
    085: Complimenting Yourself

    085: Complimenting Yourself

    This episode is a doozy. I want to start off by letting you know that I know how hard you are on yourself — because I used to be super hard on myself. I always said “I’m not good enough,” first with infertility and then with my struggles raising my kids. That translated into being super hard on them, and pretty hard on David as well. Not so good!







    I discuss parents being hard on themselves as I do all approaches in parenting, with the sage words of Dr. Phil: “how is that working for you?” Chances are you aren’t happy and neither is your family. If that’s the case, maybe it’s time to try another approach.







    Now, a lot of you received negative messages from your parents when you were growing up. Remember, those messages were not factually true. The way that your parents thought about themselves was projected onto you. Once you get that, once you break yourself of the cognitive distortion of “I’m not good enough” that warps your view of objective reality, then you can step into emotional adulthood. Then, you can say, “if my parents’ opinion of themselves was projected onto me, that means my opinion of myself today is what I'm going to project onto my kids!”







    The way that you talk to your kids and your spouse is actually an insight into how you talk to yourself. When you clean up the way you talk to yourself, guess what happens? You clean up the way you talk to your family. I promise that as you dedicate time to listen to your mind, identify the thoughts of fear and lack, and gently remind your inner child that you are good enough, you will see that you have the grace and compassion you need for yourself. And as you love yourself, you will succeed as a spouse and as a parent.







    Subscribe on Apple!







    Subscribe on Android!







    Join my FREE parenting bootcamp!







    Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:







    Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com.







    Find me on Instagram!







    Find me on Facebook!

    • 25 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
178 Ratings

178 Ratings

Murdu54627 ,

😤

That face means what kids are like sometime. Because of you,I can be good😘

Evelyn Damian ,

Thank you so much Kelly

You are a blessing. God keep using you to help others.

S_Eliza07 ,

Incredible podcast!

Kelly is incredible! I love her way of presenting things, we all love her strategies, and her podcast has been and continues to help me and my family in many ways so we can have harmony in our home 😌

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