The Dangerous Woman Podcast for successful high achieving women who feel a disconnect between how good their outward success looks, and what their inner world feels like. It teaches smart, driven women to become the most remarkable versions of themselves without compromising their health, families, social lives or sanity, by giving them the tools to change old patterns of guilt, blame and fear and turn them into new patterns of alignment, fulfillment and harmony. In other words, it’s a place where women come to learn how to become dangerously good.
It’s a place for the woman who is ready to step outside the confines of what society has deemed as “successful” and is wanting to achieve harmony and balance in her personal and professional life. It’s for the woman who is ready to regain control of her emotional self and kick the overwhelm, guilt and imposter syndrome to the curb and gain an edge in every aspect, from the inside out. It’s for the woman who is looking to re-invent herself, elevate her thinking and finally start living on her own terms. By breaking down the best of self-help so you know the actionable steps to creating lasting change, you will walk away knowing the little-known subtle shifts in thinking and acting that will allow you to experience the greatest improvements in all facets of your life. Are you ready to become dangerously unstoppable? Let’s dive in.
The Expectation of Ease
We all have big dreams. We can picture the fantastic result, but we don’t usually imagine the hard stuff. When discomfort and frustration start to creep in, we discover it’s not so easy after all. Many of us throw in the towel and give up at this point. Feeling uncomfortable isn’t part of the dream. We think if it’s going to be this hard, we might as well give up.
This episode is for you if you've ever taken discomfort to indicate that you should stop pursuing your goal. Sometimes, we have expectations that everything should be comfortable and easy. I even felt this way when I first began coaching. I was so excited to help people. I knew this was my calling, and I jumped right in.
I started my Instagram account, which I knew would take off immediately, but it didn’t. I figured the easiest way to fix this was to hire someone already successful on Instagram to take care of things for me. This may have been comfortable and easy, but deep down, I knew I needed to be the one sharing my message with my audience, and I was right.
[01:41] I had big expectations when I started my coaching business. My Instagram account wasn't growing, so I hired an "expert." I also ignored that small voice telling me that I should be the one writing my message to my audience. [06:57] I share when I knew that I shouldn't have ignored those feelings. I knew that no matter how uncomfortable it was, I had something to say that needed to be heard. [08:03] I needed to be an example. I couldn't talk to women about doing all of these things if I wasn't doing them first. [09:46] What you think about yourself internally is expressed and exposed in what your life is like externally. Unless you change or alter this programming, you cannot think, feel, or act differently. [10:25] Your negative thoughts about yourself will always show up in how you behave. If there's a place in your life where you feel you're not as successful as you should be, it's due to a poor self-concept. [11:03] The way to overcome these problems is to upgrade your self-concept. When you change your inner thoughts, you will see the benefits in your outer world. [12:01] To improve your self-concept in any area, you have to first know what the goal is. You need to know the woman you desire to be. [12:21] The Dangerous Woman Manifesto will give you a blueprint. Download it and study it. [12:52] Visualize yourself being this woman. Visualization will activate your subconscious mind. Picturing yourself being this woman will align your thoughts with the idea of your ideal self. [13:32] Speak positive words and affirmations over your life. Speaking positive affirmations that you believe to be true will override your old self-concept. [14:10] Become the woman now. Please don't wait until later to become her. Use your knowledge of who she is to take on her characteristics. When you do this, you'll feel confident. [15:21] Everything shifted when I began thinking, feeling, and acting on purpose as a successful, powerful coach. I made sure I looked and felt the part of a successful, powerful coach. I became what I visualized. [17:25] Go be a dangerous woman. Start today! Links and Resources:
Dr. Krystal Conner Dr. Krystal Conner Instagram Dangerous Woman Manifesto The Qualities Successful Women Embody (That makes them DANGEROUS) Things We’ll Learn:
Know what the goal is Visualize yourself being this woman Speak positive words & affirmations Become the woman now
The Illusion of Overwhelm
Have you ever looked at your calendar and wondered how can I ever get all of this done? Do you feel like you have too much to do or don't have enough time to get it done? These feelings of inadequacy and anxiousness can be a result of overwhelm. This episode will help you overcome those feelings of overwhelm and be the dangerous woman you are.
I'm going to talk about how our thoughts affect our feelings and actions. I'm going to explain how two people with similar circumstances can each have a to-do list with ten items, and one person is overwhelmed, and the other doesn't think it's a big deal. I will explain why we have limiting thoughts and how to challenge those thoughts.
I will give you questions to ask to help you change your thoughts and change your actions. I'm going to help you understand that you do have the time to do what you need to do. I'm going to give you suggestions to help kick overwhelm to the curb and schedule your important tasks while getting rid of the things that aren't important. This new year is the perfect time to improve your thoughts and improve your life.
[04:25] When you have thoughts that create feelings of stress and feelings that you aren't enough, you will always feel overwhelmed and burnt out. A to-do list is neutral until you attach thoughts to it. [05:30] The Model explains that we have circumstances which are anything we consider to be a fact. We are taught that our feelings are created by things outside of us. We're told our feelings are caused by circumstances. [06:58] The step between our circumstances and our feelings, that many people never consider, is our thoughts. There's a circumstance. We have a thought about that circumstance. That thought creates a feeling. [07:31] Your life as it is right now is a result of your past thoughts. If you really want to change your life. The only thing you can control is your thoughts. It's the only thing you can control in this world. You can't control other people. What you do control is how you respond to that. [09:00] If you feel like the same thing is happening to you over and over, it's because there's a thought driving every decision you make that is keeping you stuck. [09:59] If you want to make overwhelm optional start to pay attention to your thoughts. Challenge your thoughts. Ask questions. [10:43] Is this true? What else could also be true here? Is it true that I have so much to do? Is it true that I only have so many hours? Is it true that I don't know what to do? Is it true that I don't know what to say? [12:09] Overwhelm causes inaction. Challenge and question your thoughts that are causing overwhelm. [14:43] Write out every task you need to complete. Schedule the things that you need to get done. Write out a date and time. Ask what is necessary. Do a life edit and delegate or delete things that aren't necessary. [15:43] I have the time to do what I want and need to do. It's scheduled and it's going to get done. This is your weapon against overwhelm. [15:54] I'm doing the best that I can with the time that I have. I am enough. I am capable. When I focus and prioritize, I have time to do everything that's important to me. Don't let overwhelm stop you from becoming a dangerous woman. [16:37] Your thoughts create your feelings which drive your actions and ultimately give you your results in life. Your results in life are a direct reflection of what you have been thinking. In order to have different results, you have to think different thoughts. [16:58] When you feel overwhelmed ask yourself a series of pointed questions. Have an internal dialogue that questions the validity of your self-imposed limitations. [17:11] Homework: Continue working on your 30-day Focus according to the stage that you're in. Continue to monitor what you're thinking about and journal about that. Links and Resources:
Dr. Krystal Conner Dr. Krystal Conner Instagram Dangerous Woman Manifesto The Qualities Successful Women Embody
The 4 Stages to Becoming a Dangerous Woman
Happy New Year! I hope you've all had a wonderful holiday season and are ready to turn it up this year. 2022 is going to be your year! If you listened to the first episode of this podcast, you'll remember that I broke down the four categories of women including the dangerous woman. Each category of woman is struggling in a different area and requires something different to get to the next level. Each week we are going to be working towards becoming dangerous.
Today, I’m going to help you figure out exactly where you stand and tell you exactly what you need to be focusing on for the next month. We are going to take 30 days to begin to move to the next level. I know that you want to feel like you’re truly thriving in every area of your life. That's why we are going to do some self-diagnosing and break down exactly what you've been doing that isn't working. Then I'll tell you what you need to be focusing on in the next 30 days to move closer to becoming that dangerous woman that you are meant to be.
[02:48] We are all moving towards becoming a dangerous woman. She lives in complete alignment with who she is. She's learned how to set boundaries and overcome people-pleasing. She's built beautiful mutually beneficial relationships. She wakes up in the morning feeling good about herself. [03:38] A dangerous woman embraces her entire range of emotions. She feels purposeful and does exactly what she dreams about doing in her life. She's confident and bold and knows who she is. [05:00] Don't you want to live in overflowing abundance with a life that's bursting at the seams and makes your heart sing? [06:54] The disconnected woman. This stage is defined by feelings of overwhelm, lack of control, and people pleasing. You want to change, but you feel like there's nothing you can do about it. [10:13] Your willingness to be wrong about yourself is going to be the thing that moves you forward. Challenging and questioning those long-standing beliefs will help you move to the next level. [10:38] In the next 30 days, start questioning the thoughts you have about yourself. Write out everything you believe to be true about yourself. Ask yourself where is this not true? [11:06] Write out one goal that you want to achieve. The only thing you need to focus on is believing that it's possible. [12:06] The conventional woman. These are your team players. These women are dependable to everyone else but constantly letting themselves down. You're motivated and eager for change, until you actually have to implement the changes. [13:50] It's not as easy as you thought it would be. One week in and you're already researching plan b. You fall back into being busy and judge yourself harshly. [14:54] Focusing on everything and trying to change everything all at once is doing too much. [15:40] Over the next 30 days, identify a goal that you have been working on and trust yourself enough to choose one path or way to achieve that goal. Commit to moving towards your goal consistently over this one month. Journal about it. [17:04] The motivated woman. This is where most people feel like they want to be. No matter how much she gains or achieves, she can't fill that inner void. She's always in search of something to make her feel complete or whole. [20:29] Things are good, but you're ready for something amazing. You're craving high-level accountability, support, and encouragement. [21:17] 30-day focus: Find support and begin to take decisive high-level action. Your support can be a coach, therapist, or group. Someone other than you who can call you out and keep you in motion. Establish your very own dream team. Invest in yourself and find someone to support you. [22:59] Decide where you are and focus on the assignment for that level. Focus on what you need to do over the next 30 days to work your way through these exercises. [23:17] In the next 30 days, I want to believe that it is possible for me to _________________? [23:43]
The One Decision That Will Change Your Life
It's the last week of 2021. It's time to think about what you are proud of accomplishing. This may have been the year that you started setting boundaries in your relationship or developing healthier habits. It might be the year you finally started your business or hit those long-awaited career goals. You can be proud that you just made it through the year without losing your mind.
I want you to have a positive attitude as you wrap this year up so that you'll look at next year with more positivity and abundance. That's why today we're going to talk about the one decision that will change your life once you learn how to make it. Doing this will help you reach goals in half the time, and it will pay off repeatedly throughout your life.
[02:30] Your life will change when you make the decision to not try and do everything on your own. It's time to choose to ask for help. [02:59] Many women find it hard to ask for help, because they think they have to do everything themselves. This is why so many of us struggle with superwoman syndrome. [04:48] Another reason women feel like they shouldn't ask for help is because it makes them feel like they are somehow losing control. [05:30] There are times when you might not ask for help because you like being a martyr. You may also feel like you're being a bother or your pride could even get in the way. [07:22] You also may not truly be able to express what your needs are. [08:51] Challenge your perspective. Strong women ask for help. Challenge any negative thoughts that come up. Ask yourself how asking for help can be the most powerful thing that you can do? [09:47] Figure out exactly what you need and ask for it. What would make your life easier? What would you give you extra time in the day to do the things you've been talking about doing forever? What would give you time to rest or spend time with their loved ones without feeling stressed or overwhelmed? [10:51] Once you know what you want, communicate clearly what your needs are. Don't be vague. Don't apologize. Dangerous women know when to raise their hands and ask for help. Make yourself available to help others. [12:31] Learning how to ask for help will change your life. Some of the reasons you might ask for help include feeling like you should be able to do it by yourself, fear of losing control, wanting to play the role of a martyr, or feeling like you already know how to do everything. [12:53] Challenge your beliefs about what it means to you to ask for help. Figure out what you need and clearly communicate that to others. [13:15] Look at your schedule and find one thing big or small that you can ask for help with. [15:03] If all your wildest dreams come true next year in 2022, what would you be thankful for? Write it out in your journal and start being grateful for these things now. Links and Resources:
Dr. Krystal Conner Dr. Krystal Conner Instagram Dangerous Woman Manifesto
2 Ways You’re Stalling Your Own Progress on Your Goals
December and the year are both almost over. Isn't it funny how we start looking back at how things went when we get near the end of something? I hope you're looking back at this year with a lot of pride. 2021 has been rough for a lot of people. Take some time to look at the things that you did right. I hope you're looking back with pride and not judgment. It's okay if you didn't achieve all that you planned. If you blame procrastination on laziness, you may be surprised by what we uncover in this episode.
There are so many things that can stall our goals. Today, we will talk about two pervasive ways that plans get delayed. We are going to talk about procrastination and why we procrastinate. Then I'm going to share five steps to overcome procrastination. I'm also going to talk about having shaky values and genuinely understanding what you value the most. You can overcome shaky values by acknowledging what's happening and creating a blueprint on how you want to live your life. I also share action steps to do the work and become the dangerous woman you're meant to be.
[03:19] One of the ways we tend to stall our progress is by procrastinating. Procrastination isn't always caused by laziness. It can be caused by negative feelings and task avoidance. [04:37] If you aren't aware that thoughts about the tasks are the root cause of your procrastination, you won't be able to manage it. [05:29] Feelings of self-doubt can be created by thoughts of not being good enough. Doing it later gives us relief, but later it intensifies the negative emotions. [07:14] Productivity hacks aren't always effective against procrastination, because it doesn't always address the root of why it's happening. We need to address the mental root of why we are procrastinating. [08:26] Give yourself grace. Challenge those negative thoughts that remind you of how you're procrastinating are putting off the important things. [09:11] Think of your brain like a search engine. Make a list of all of the times that you accomplished your goals. Remind yourself of how you can get things done. [10:30] Take the toddler approach and ask yourself why. Once you know the thought, you can deal with it. What would I do if I didn't think this was difficult? [13:25] Take the next best step once your brain is unlocked. [14:21] Now you can build your productivity muscles. Schedule the tasks and follow through on what you say you're going to do. [16:19] Another way people stall their progress is by having shaky values. [17:17] Honestly look at your values. Do you value other people's opinions or your image over what you truly desire? Are you waiting for someone's seal of approval? [19:06] Are you valuing comfort overreaching your goals? Where are you choosing comfort over your goal? The first step is admitting that this is true. [21:57] Create a standard for who you are becoming. Look towards the future and the life that you want to create. [22:57] There is a reason why journaling, affirmations, and vision boards are so powerful. Take the reality of what's in our mind and bring it into existence. [24:42] Print out the Dangerous Woman Manifesto and put it on your mirror. Put it everywhere. If there's something specific you want to work on, add it to the manifesto. [25:48] Do the work! [26:49] Are you willing to be wrong about yourself and what you think is possible for you? Links and Resources:
Dr. Krystal Conner Dr. Krystal Conner Instagram Dangerous Woman Manifesto
2 Things Dangerous Women are Cancelling in 2022
Are you ready to have your best year ever? If so, I have two things that we should all cancel to have the best 2022 possible. This is the time of year when a lot of us start focusing on goals and plans for the upcoming year. Is it finally time to lose that extra weight or follow through with those workout goals? Do you want to make big career changes or earn more money? Are these some of the goals and plans you had for last year, but life got in the way, and the important things were never finished or even started?
I’m going to talk about two things that many of us do to stall our progress. I’m also going to talk about why these two things are so detrimental. I’m also going to share three affirmations that can help you overcome pitfall number one. I’m also going to share three important questions that will help us get over those mental hurdles. I’m also going to share three questions that will help us get past the second thing that we all need to cancel in 2022. We are going to practice envisioning what life would be like without these roadblocks. We are going to look at what life would be like when we are confident, dangerous women who are doing what we were meant to do.
[00:02:33] It’s time to stop saying yes when we want to say no. It’s time to stop people-pleasing. It’s not selfish to put your needs first. [00:03:32] You are not responsible for other people's feelings. Changing your actions to make other people happy reinforces the belief that you are the cause of their unhappiness. [00:04:29] People pleasing will burn you out. Trying to make everyone else happy creates exhaustion and frustration. [00:06:07] Resentment comes when you continually deny yourself and put your needs on the back burner. You've relegated your entire future to someone else's needs. [00:07:45] Don't neglect and abandon yourself. Don't put yourself last in every scenario. You have to fill your cup first before you can fill the cup of another person. [00:08:04] It's completely normal for us to want to make other people happy. It's time to start acknowledging our own worth. If you are here there is a purpose for that. That alone makes you worthy. [00:09:23] Acknowledging your own worth can be the most difficult step for some people, but it’s time to start. [00:10:29] Affirmations for self-worth: 1. My needs matter. They are just as important as everyone else's. 2. I am allowed to and deserve to be able to express my truth and my feelings without fear of repercussion. 3. I am worthy just as I am. [00:11:26] Ask yourself: 1. By saying yes to this, what am I saying no to? 2. Am I basing my answer on how I think they will respond? 3. If I were to be true to myself, what would I say? [00:12:38] Consider how often you say yes when you really want to say no. What would you say if you were really true to yourself? [00:12:51] The second thing we are going to be canceling in 2022 is avoiding change because of fear. When we start doing things differently our brains send out signals that there is danger ahead. [00:13:41] Changing requires a stretch. It requires our brains to think in new, sometimes uncomfortable ways. [00:14:42] With uncertainty comes a loss of control. We don't like not being in control. We also avoid change because of fear of failure and fear of rejection. [00:15:43] The way we think of failure is what makes it so bad. If we think something terrible is going to happen if we fail, we will beat ourselves up and be afraid to try. [00:16:39] Ask yourself: 1. If I weren't afraid, would I still do this? 2. What is the worst thing that could happen? 3. So what? [00:21:42] What would your life look like if you canceled people-pleasing and avoiding change in 2022? Really think about this question and journal about it. Links and Resources:
Dr. Krystal Conner Dr. Krystal Conner Instagram Dangerous Woman Manifesto Give Us Your Heart by William McDowell
Im an avid podcast listener and when I saw that Dr. K was starting one- I knew I had to subscribe. She didn’t disappoint. Listening to her episodes feels like getting a mini-life coaching session every time and Im here for it! Love it!
Thank you Krystal for being so honest and transparent. Listening to your Podcast has totally shifted my mindset. I am looking forward to stepping into 2022 as a Dangerous Woman. The main thing I am stepping away from is always putting myself on the back burner because I am a huge people-pleaser that don’t know how to say no. Letting that mindset go in 2022.
Powerful with action steps!
I love that Dr. K helps show you where you’re at and how you can take those simple action steps to become the Dangerous Woman of your dreams! She is KILLING it!!!