#HURDLEMOMENT: My Experience With Depression

I'm OK. Actually, I’m more than OK. These days, my heart feels full. My light feels bright. Really bright. I feel generally happy. I feel hopeful. I feel capable.

But 10 months ago, this wasn’t the case. My light felt dim. On January 31, I called my best friend after collapsing onto my kitchen floor beside myself because a bunch of pans fell out from the cabinet. It wasn’t about the pans. It was me. I felt stuck. So stuck. Incapable of getting out of my own way. Blank. I’d sit at my computer for hours but nothing would get done. All of the strategies I’ve been using for years to help me feel good in my body felt as though they were failing me. I knew something wasn't right.

... and I was right.

On February 25, I was told by a physician in a small office on Smith Street that I was depressed. Ten months later, I’m finally ready to talk about it. My choice to go on medication. My experiences having hard conversations. Showing up when it felt almost impossible. What it felt like to ask for help. And most importantly: Finding my joy again. Why now? Because I’m in a place or homeostasis. I feel ready. I know that despite how hard this hurdle was in the moment, I am so much better for it. My hope has always been to help others feel less alone on their own individual wellness journey. And today? I pray my story, live in the feed now, does just that.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
157. Alex Silver-Fagan, Trainer & Creator of Flow Into Strong
149. Alexi Pappas, Runner, Olympian, Actor & Author
229. Kelsey Plum, WNBA Player

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, you are not alone. There are resources available to you, including the SAMHSA national hotline, at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

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