I am Marcello Marcello

I met my colleague and confident Jess to discuss the merits of dating someone at work. In London's bloodthirsty corporate sphere, such an endeavour can only lead to ruin.

I went on a date in a pretentious East London pub. Chloe, my companion, was perfectly charming but she worked in the charity sector. As such she viewed my role as a corporate drone with subtle disdain. I was irked at the time, but on reflection I think she had a point.

My sinister existence as a corporate Axe Man continues. This is the time I was called to dispense justice. Well, that's what I told myself anyway.

Trying to make friends in the corporate world is rough. Everyone is so caught up in the venal race to the top there's hardly time for niceties. Granted, I work for an investment bank in London, not a place known for its collegial spirit - still, the struggle is worth it. I simply must crack the friendship code.

This podcast is about my foolhardy attempt to ingratiate myself with a colleague. Naturally, it all ends in subtle shame and quiet desperation - which is of course the English way.

I went on a dinner date with Karen, a fabulously successful corporate lawyer. Unfortunately, she was glued to her iPhone - which was something of a romance blocker. We were in the pub but could just as well have been alone-together at home skulling wine and gorging on avocado-toast. http://tinyurl.com/y62qslqc

We first meet my housemate Luke: a middle-class, metropolitan journalist and would-be artist. We discuss the merits of online dating and my ludicrous dating blog.