Came to this podcast from “Toxic: The Podcast” who interviewed the subject for Season 1, Kayla. I started all 3 seasons at the same time bouncing between the women’s stories as I drove. It allowed me to easily pass on experiences that I was not relating to and in some cases totally triggered/turned off by. I’d recommend bouncing around a bit to see if you connect with/ learn something from one or more of the ladies. So far- Season 3, Emily is going well. The Pros: 1. The host, Rachel. At least in seasons 1 & 2, she starts each episode with an aspect or red flag of DV and gives a great explication- this has to be so informative for people who only know something was/is wrong- but don’t yet have the word or definition for what is going on. I wish there was more of this throughout and less of some of the more dragged out stories. I’m also pretty sure it’s not her who experienced DV, but her friend Kayla brought her into the DV realm- think that’s awesome she was such an ally since it’s often impossible for victims to have the energy or mental/emotional strength to do the advocacy work. 2. The women’s experiences and stories are all across the spectrum- so where I absolutely hated the podcast during one woman’s story- I really appreciated and bookmarked parts of another woman’s. Being able to find an experience like your own (no matter how wild) is amazingly healing on its own. The Cons: 1. I’m proud of all the women for having the courage to tell their stories; but where I am in my journey- it was frustrating to hear zero accountability from some of the women- especially after having time away from the relationship. If they can’t circle back around after time & space and realize where they were actively feeding this monster and storming over red flags- they’re prone to repeating the cycle. Episode 59 of “Toxic The Podcast” with psychotherapist Talia Bomba covered just this very well. 2. The music. If I have to listen to it- please make it shorter. 3. Hypocrisy: it turns me off and I’m sure a lot of possible allies when there are drastic double standards for men and women in relationships and what is abusive vs not a big deal. These are spattered throughout- but right off in Ep 3, Emily: she talks about how her husband called her a cow when she was gaining weight during her pregnancy. She and the host go on to talk about how it’s never acceptable to make fun of your partner’s appearance; yet in Season 1, Kayla said she made a comment about her partner (in the fitness industry) looking bloated and he got so upset over it and Kayla and the host went on to say that it wasn’t a big deal and mocked him.
Overall- thank you to Rachel for creating this space, doing the research & the work. Huge thank you to the women speaking up- everyone’s story will resonate with someone.
