Kicking the Over-Apologizing Habit

Do you over-apologize, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? Do you deflect compliments? These are topics that I am asked to speak about often and in this episode, I dig into why we as women over-apologize (hint: It’s not our fault) and what we can do to successfully interrupt this pattern.

Apologizing when we have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing can present as a weakness at work and in personal relationships. Research shows women apologize up to three times more often than men and that we deflect praise in ways that can undermine our success.

Research also shows that as women, our accomplishments are often undervalued, and our mistakes are more noticed and remembered, so we don’t want to apologize unnecessarily or deflect attention from our accomplishments.

This is a practical episode that is all about shifting our mindset and strengthening our toolset. We can develop habits that interrupt the biases and inequities that negatively and disproportionately impact women when we are intentional, mindful, and strategic in our communication. Learn how to shift from subtle undermining habits to habits we can implement daily in small ways that add up.

Reference:

Pantene Ad: Don’t be sorry, shine strong. https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI

The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2019). Why women apologize more than men: Gender differences in thresholds for perceiving offensive behavior. Psychological Science, 21(11), 1649-1655.

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