No Michael Here Podcast

Self-Defined Human
No Michael Here Podcast

Stop being the "weird friend" and start being an expert people respect, fear, and love. nomichaelhere.substack.com

  1. 05/23/2024

    No more friend zone

    I learned a new term yesterday: projective identification. The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines it as follows: “in psychoanalysis, a defense mechanism in which the individual projects qualities that are unacceptable to the self onto another individual and that person [that’s YOU] internalizes the projected qualities and believes themself to be characterized by them appropriately and justifiably.” That’s the real danger of the friend zone: you actually start to believe you’re a friend. But, you’re not a friend. You were never a friend. You’re a force, a menace. Your friends have to pay for what they’ve done. They signed up for this friendship and now they have to suffer. Make them suffer. It’s time to get out of the friend zone, to be powerful, to be who you’re supposed to be, who you always were (not that they ever knew it). No more gray areas. No more wishful thinking. No more hoping that one day, they’ll finally realize it. They won’t realize it. They’re not smart enough, they haven’t done enough work, they’re too lazy. They’ve got other stuff to worry about and it’s not what you’re worrying about, and it isn’t what they’re telling you they’re worrying about. Make some tension. No more being the nice person who listens to them whine about their problems. Now is the time to BE the problem. —Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

    2 min
  2. 05/14/2024

    Your next clients are ALREADY here

    I don’t know how you’ll get more clients, but let’s look at the truth: you are attracting, right now, the people you should be attracting. You’re creating relationships, on the fly, as you go through life. Those relationships have natural momentum. You put energy out into the universe and this is who came back. If you want more clients, and people to pay you money and see you as an expert, you have to start putting out the right energy. You have to look at the results of your actions. You have to take account. Right now, you’re making mistakes but you don’t know what they are. But, what if you fixed those mistakes? Wouldn’t it be obvious (to both of you) where the relationship should go: * a coach/client relationship? * two friends? * two enemies? Who knows? But, if you showed up as the truest version of yourself, it should be obvious to both of you. Neither one of you is an idiot. You’d see it. So, that’s what you need to do instead of “marketing”. Marketing is based on the presumption that you know what you should be offering, that you’ve made this “thing” and you just need to go out and sell the thing. But…you haven’t even tested the thing yet. You don’t know what you should be offering. You’ve got to meet people where they’re at. You don’t even know what you’re capable of yet. You don’t know who you’re capable of attracting or what you’re capable of doing for them. Forget about the “ideal clients” and “customer avatars”. That’s all based on arrogance, on the presumption that you know, that your fantasy is the best possible version of reality. You don’t know that. But, your fantasy is based on your traumas, your hopes and dreams, and all the disappointments you’ve had. You don’t know that’s what reality should be. So, let’s figure out what it should be. Let’s confront reality. Let’s figure out what has already happened, how we got to this point, and what mistakes we’ve made. Let’s fix those mistakes and see how reality updates itself. That’s my new vision for marketing. —Michael P.S. I want to test out some ideas for this in the form of a 1-1 coaching program (a month-long kind of thing). It’s going to be $500, but I need guinea pigs. So, if you sign up TODAY ONLY, I’ll give you a 40% discount. Reply “let’s do it” and I’ll be in touch. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

    3 min
  3. 05/09/2024

    Be more like Taylor Swift and less like you

    As we all know, Taylor Swift is a great performer who makes lots of money. Everybody loves her and she’s on the cover of every magazine. Why? Is it because of her looks? Her singing technique? Her guitar playing? Her piano playing? All the people she’s connected to? No. But, if you want to be like Taylor Swift… (your version of it, whatever it is…you’re not going to be Taylor Swift, of course…) …you’ve got to understand what she’s doing. Her music has a message and she’s determined to spread that message. Those things I listed are just tools. She uses the tools to spread the message. You can do that too. Use tools to spread a message. This isn’t just a matter of communication. This goes deep into the core of your being, into the center-point of your soul, and propagates out from there. Because Taylor Swift’s message is, at the core, a pure message she believes in, this is what happens: * Her body language onstage conveys the message, * Her singing and playing technique falls into place around the body language, * She looks good when she’s singing, * People watching and listening get excited, * They tell their friends, * Taylor Swift makes lots of money. But, without that message at the core, that little point she can organize everything around, she has nothing. (Watch her carefully. Her eyes, her feet. Do you see anything awkward happening? I don’t.) I’m not saying you need to be just like Taylor Swift. Obviously, she’s a phenomenon and you’re not. But, you could be a phenomenon too. (Not like that, of course. Don’t get your hopes up. Come on.) But, you could be a phenomenon for the people in the room. And, if you want to get there, it would be a mistake to think you’re going to improve anything without improving what’s at the core. When you have that unity, your body language will reflect it. Unless you’re OK with your eyes darting around, with your feet shuffling. In that case, by all means, keep doing it. But, it’s not what a phenomenon does, even among 20 people. If you take an hour of your time and spend it on * improving your singing * guitar technique * your makeup * your outfit, you’re just going to get a tiny change in the overall thing. But, if you spend an hour improving what’s at the core, having a message and making sure every stupid little thing you do reflects that message (for the duration of the song), THEN you’re going to make a huge change in the overall thing. And people will notice. —Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

    4 min

Ratings & Reviews

4.8
out of 5
4 Ratings

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Stop being the "weird friend" and start being an expert people respect, fear, and love. nomichaelhere.substack.com

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