52 episodes

For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS Patrick Melton

    • Comedy
    • 4.5 • 281 Ratings

For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.

    NLO 1420: QR Anon

    NLO 1420: QR Anon

    A special live gathering where we will be having some beverages and giving away Jetskis! Patrick is feeling very philanthropic and will be giving away things through QR codes all show long, so get in on the fun! Kenan is cancelled! The stock market is tanking and Patrick isn’t happy about it. This will have a significant impact on any future car shopping deals. Learn why NFT’s and garbage coins are a scam, and how the creators make money. In another iteration of The Tweets I Seen, someone tries to sell Patrick weed, and of course the latest nonsense from Thai. Leaked footage from Agent O shows what really happens at Ocha Bar during open mics, and it’s some of the most cringey performance fart you’ve ever seen!

    • 1 hr 43 min
    NLO 1419: Breaking Branch

    NLO 1419: Breaking Branch

    Patrick is joined in studio by Steve Branch, a fan-turned-friend who is here to blackmail Patrick live. Patrick is feeling very woozy after taking some things. Steve shares with us why he is in Vegas and walks us down a path of recreational cultivation. Patrick wants to buy a new car and has been shopping for a Kia EV6. The test drive went great, but these care dealers are bananas with their mandatory add-ons. A bunch of comedians are upset with Patrick about the Kenan Thompson Ultimate Comedy Experience. Trixx is in the competition and doesn't appreciate Patrick talking shit about it, and Big Irish Jay is mad at Patrick for trying to be honest and smooth things over.

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    • 40 min
    NLO 1418: Ass Me Anything

    NLO 1418: Ass Me Anything

    Patrick is back after embarrassing himself last show with excessive drink. That won’t be happening this time. Patrick is still trying to get an Xbox, so somebody please get on that. Kenan Thompson is a bad person and is running a scam for the ages. Patrick has done some research and has uncovered one of the biggest comedy grifts going, perpetuated by a Saturday Night Live all-star and a real estate agent. It’s worse than it looks! Nick Starr-Street is in the chat room and wants to call in but Patrick knows the rule about inviting vampires in. Wait until you seen The Tweets I Seen! Josh Denny is up to his old shape-shifting ways. Thai Rivera has tweets that make no sense, border on racism, and constantly miss the point. He’s also pumped out a new podcast where he gets really sad at the end, but it could just be about his sign falling down. Stop being mad at Elon Musk – he isn’t your dad. Twitter is a pit of lies. We should all be ok with losing some of the not-yet-around kids. Knock it off with the God stuff.

    • 2 hr 34 min
    NLO 1417: Slurred Lines

    NLO 1417: Slurred Lines

    Patrick has so much to talk to you about! This show gets very, very drunk. Apologies in advance for the wild opinions and slurred speech, as well as the fake ending. Patrick wants to start gaming again and wants to get an Xbox, but it seems like a frivelous purchase. So he wants you to buy him one. The chat room is being blessed by the presence of a Kennedy. We have TWO UNSEEN new videos from Thai Rivera that produce more questions than answers. One is a younger Thai arguing with his former landlord. One is a live stream test from Thai's new home in the middle of the night. Big Irish Jay brought his French bulldog over to play with Patrick's dog, and Patrick embarrassed himself with a pizza fiasco.

    This content is for OVERDOSE MEMBERS only. Visit the site and login or register to access this content.

    • 44 min
    NLO 1416: Whine Country

    NLO 1416: Whine Country

    Patrick is back from a wedding in California and has some stories. Shooby’s wedding was fun, even if it was a long one and Patrick had to rent a tux. Tuxes are magical at making fat people look important. Of course there’s also some complaints. Avelo airlines is a little nuts and their planes may be falling apart. ACE rental cars is ripping people off and the employees aren’t quite sure if you need insurance. Artisan coffee shops need to get it together if they’re going to walk around like their beans don’t stink. The Santa Rosa airport is more tiny than you can imagine. Elon Musk has purchased Twitter, nothing has changed, and yet weak-minded dopes everywhere are losing their minds. Pour yourself a sarsaparilla and try to calm your emotions long enough to pull the good chair in to the TV room for a show.

    • 1 hr 21 min
    NLO 1415: Smoke Show

    NLO 1415: Smoke Show

    It’s 4/20 bro, so toke up and stuff and feel the burn and stuff! Weed, right! There’s a brisket on the smoker and Patrick has to keep an eye on it during the show. If you’ve ever wanted to know how to smoke a brisket right, this show has everything you need to know. The world has had enough of your self-esteem and it has to stop. Patrick is heading to wine country for the weekend to attend the wedding of Shooby. There will be news, and no lettuce on the floor. Patrick shows his ignorance of YouTube personalities while roasting Ethan Klein, a lost boy with a show that sponsors and fans are turning on fast. Andy Dick is acting erratic and may be in serious danger. We watch the horror unfold from his weekend live stream. Thai Rivera is mad at a moving company for damaging all six of his belongings. Watch the latest stream of lies right here!

    • 1 hr 52 min

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5
281 Ratings

281 Ratings

Mightbewrong33 ,

Entertaining

Check it out if you have a decent sense of humor.

acelazerrazor ,

GREAT SHOW!!!

Patrick and the whole crew over at the pantswise studio are absolutely killing it! The guests are super funny lately(lol) jk the pool IS going to look nice though.
Have a nice FLOAT,
Shim Shapiro

MG Hammer ,

Not funny

He is trying very hard but continues to fail. Voice is grating.

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