Not Your Average Autism Mom Shannon Urquiola

Assuming competence means recognizing that our children have thoughts, feelings, and dreams just like every other child.

But why is assuming competence so crucial? The answer lies in the power of belief. When you believe in your children, you instill in them a sense of self-worth and the confidence to believe in themselves.  Your belief in them becomes a driving force behind their determination, resilience, and ability to overcome challenges.

When our children see that you believe in them, it fuels their own belief in themselves.

Assuming competence and believing in what is possible doesn't mean that you are ignoring the challenges they face. It means acknowledging their struggles while focusing on their strengths and potential.

Our children may face setbacks and obstacles along the way, but whatever you do, don’t let that discourage you from maintaining your belief in their abilities.

As parents, we have the privilege and responsibility to shape the lives of our children.  When you have an unwavering belief in their abilities, it can be a transformative force that opens doors, breaks barriers, and unlocks their fullest potential. 

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  We are the single best online resource for moms raising autistic children.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 96. Our Parenting Journey is Different

Episode 74. You Cannot Fix All the Things All the Time 

If there’s one thing that I see over and over, it’s like, we know summer is coming, but we’re not prepared for it, and then what do we do? The
kids are home, there’s no school, there’s no structure, there’s no routine, and we feel panic.

You have to ask yourself, “What it is that you want? What is your big why and what are you committed to doing?”

Once you have those questions answered, you have to prioritize what is most important to you because they can't all hold equal value.

Things you want to do for yourself, things that want to do with the kids, things that need to be done at home or for work. All of these things must be prioritized.  When you look at your summer, when you look at the time that you have with your kids, what do you want that to look and feel like?

You have to get creative in ways that you will do things that are important to you.  Put it on your calendar.

So many times, we just keep pushing things aside, because it just seems like one more thing to do, but in order to FEEL the way you want, you have to do the things that will get you there. 

Whatever it is, get creative, get resourceful, and be determined to figure it out because that is what it will take. 

How can you move towards what you want and how you want to feel, instead of just putting out all the little fires all summer and just getting through without even being present? 

You have so much more control over your life than you give yourself credit for, and when you slow down and really decide, “How you want to feel and then take action from that, you will be amazed at what you can create. 

You have to be intentional, you have to live your life with purpose and have a plan whether it’s summer or not.

You need to supervise your brain. You need to become aware of what you are thinking.   Learning to manage your mind and control your emotions along this journey is a game changer and will literally transform your life if you are willing to do the work. 

Additional Resources:

41. Emotional Ups and Downs of Raising a Child with Autism

60. The Most Important Relationship in your Autism Parenting Journey

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

If you want to change your life and become Not Your Average Autism Mom, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.

Join The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement

Many typically developing children will do some toe walking prior to age three, but for our children on the spectrum who continue to toe walk past the age of three or four, there may be some cause for concern.

Toe walking is fairly common in children on the spectrum. It is a walking pattern in which a child walks primarily on their toes instead of using their entire foot.  One of the most significant impacts is delayed motor development and toe walking limits the engagement of certain muscles that are required for proper walking.

Another important thing to consider is could their vestibular system not be functioning properly. When you understand the potential role of a dysfunctional vestibular system, interventions should focus on providing appropriate stimulation that will support the development of a more typical walking pattern.

Understanding the complex nature of toe walking in autistic children is so important for effective and early intervention. 

It is up to you to observe the signs, seek a professional evaluation, explore appropriate interventions, and actively involve yourself in their interventions. 

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  

Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement Facebook Page

Episode 135. Having Language vs Using Language

Episode 136. The Truth about Being "Triggered"

As a parent coach working exclusively with moms raising autistic children, I continue to see how challenging it can be to explain to other parents and other kids why your child acts and behaves differently. In this episode, I am sharing some ideas to hopefully help make it a little easier for you. 

Maybe it’s on the playground.  Maybe it’s at a local restaurant or maybe you are in the line at Target or your local grocery store and you see a child or
parent staring, yes, we’ve all been there and while that moment becomes what you make it, I say this is the perfect time to spread autism awareness. 

Explaining autism to your child’s peers and their parents and just onlookers when you are out and about in your own communities is an essential step in creating a more inclusive and accepting world for individuals on the spectrum. 


By fostering understanding and providing education to help those who don’t know, we can bridge the understanding gap and build a supportive network for our children.


Additional Resources:

Click for Webinar details

Join The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement



54. Understanding Memory in Autism

109. Why Waiting is so Difficult

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

If you want to change your life and become Not Your Average Autism Mom, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.

The word “triggered” comes up a lot when I am coaching and I think that understanding the truth about where it comes from will be so helpful for you. 


Whatever it is your kid does or doesn't do, that is not what is triggering you. The trigger is coming from a thought you have about what they did or didn't do.
If you want to see changes in the way you parent, then you have to figure out what you are thinking every time they do something that you think “triggers” you to act or react in a way that you don’t want to.

When your kid does the thing that triggers a thought for you, you have to figure out what you feel at that moment.

When we ask why is she doing that and we can’t answer it because we don’t know their motive, we don’t know what they’re thinking, we get triggered. The real answer is why is she doing that? Well, because she is. That’s why.  When our brain can’t answer a question, it often leads to a feeling of frustration. Frustration is a gap between expectation and reality. The bigger the gap, the bigger the frustration.

You need to supervise your brain. You need to become aware of what you are thinking.   

Learning to manage your mind and control your emotions along this journey is a game changer and will literally transform your life if you are willing to do the work. 


Additional Resources:

If you find yourself overwhelmed while raising your children, we invite you to join our upcoming FREE webinar.

Click for Webinar details 

40. The Impact of Mind Blindness 

109. Why Waiting is So Difficult 

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com  

If you want to change your life and become Not Your Average Autism Mom, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.

As parents raising autistic children we are all likely very familiar with the challenges that come with language development for our children. 

Language is a system of communication that involves words, and grammar, and it allows us to express what we are thinking and feeling, share our thoughts, and connect with others.

However, just because someone has language, it doesn't mean they can use it functionally. For instance, some individuals on the spectrum might have an extensive vocabulary and be able to recite facts, but they may struggle with using language in social situations.

Having language means that a child has learned words and can use them to express themselves. However, being able to use language functionally means that a child can use their language to communicate effectively and appropriately in social situations. It's important to note that these two things are not always the same. Some children may have a large vocabulary but struggle to use their language in a meaningful way in social situations.

Many of our kids might develop language skills at a similar rate to their neurotypical peers but they struggle with the functional use of language in social situations, which is known as pragmatic language.  Pragmatic language refers to the social use of language, including the ability to understand and use nonverbal cues, take turns in conversation, and understand the underlying meaning behind what is being said.

In this episode, I talk about what to look for as well as what you need to have when you are ready to sit down and collaborate with your child's team to discuss interventions.

Having language is not enough. Children with autism need to develop functional language skills, particularly in the area of pragmatic language. Successful use of pragmatic language involves understanding social cues, adjusting language depending on the situation, taking turns in conversations, understanding figurative language, and using language to build relationships.

By focusing on developing our children's pragmatic language skills, we can help them communicate effectively and appropriately in social situations, leading to greater success in all areas of their life.


Additional Resources:

Click for Upcoming Webinar details

54. Understanding Memory in Autism

109. Why Waiting is so Difficult

Join The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement



If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

If you want to change your life and become Not Your Average Autism Mom, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.