51 episodes

Welcome to Power to the Pleasers podcast! Do you want to start doing things on your terms and finally feel confident just being yourself in relationships? Tune in every week to as we break down your people pleasing and perfectionistic patterns so you can move from being polite and doing it right, to showing up, speaking up and even laughing it up with people. Not sure it’s possible? Well stick around friends and I’ll show you how each week with actionable tips you can use in your everyday life.

Power to the Pleasers Vicki Smith

    • Education
    • 5.0 • 23 Ratings

Welcome to Power to the Pleasers podcast! Do you want to start doing things on your terms and finally feel confident just being yourself in relationships? Tune in every week to as we break down your people pleasing and perfectionistic patterns so you can move from being polite and doing it right, to showing up, speaking up and even laughing it up with people. Not sure it’s possible? Well stick around friends and I’ll show you how each week with actionable tips you can use in your everyday life.

    How Guilt messes with your ability to Set Boundaries

    How Guilt messes with your ability to Set Boundaries

    Guilt is a killer for people pleasers. We hate feeling it but we feel it all the time. Even when we haven’t done anything! And guess what? Most of the stuff we do isn’t bad enough TO feel guilty about!!!
    The habit of Guilt is messing with your ability to set boundaries plain and simple. It's making you believe you are harming someone when you aren't - you are just setting limits. And everyone has the right to do that. 
    Today I share how we can lean into guilt and learn from it. Yes, that sounds horrible and no it won’t be half as bad as your mind makes it out to be. Which is my whole point with guilt in the first place! Your mind and your avoidance of conflict are screwing with your perspective.
    Can you tell I get fired up about this topic?
     
    Also discussed in this episode:
    Two new ways of looking at this dreaded emotion.
    How empathy makes you feel guilty when you don’t have to.
    Guidelines and mindful questions to help you surf the wave of guilt instead of it pulling you under. *Can be used for any difficult feeling*.
     
    Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
    Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
    Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

    • 25 min
    Deprogramming from your Emotionally Immature Parent

    Deprogramming from your Emotionally Immature Parent

    It’s pretty easy to lose ourselves in a relationship with an emotionally immature parent. Their need for our emotional soothing trains us to pay close attention to their moods and behaviors instead of stay in tune with our own experiences.
    Today we go back to basics and turn our attention towards our own internal experiences. It’s time to re-learn who we are from the foundational ground up!
     
    Also discussed in this episode:
    The connection between not knowing yourself and a lack of self confidence.
    How self knowledge is vital for clear decision making.
    Mindfulness practices for the body, mind and heart.
     
    Links:
    No More Back and Forth
    The mini course on how to feel more confident in your decision making. I use Internal Family Systems to walk you through the two parts involved in decision making – the pleaser and the boundaries part. Finally break free from the ultimate people pleaser’s dilemma – “Do I choose what is best for YOU or what works for ME?”
    https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
     
    Connect with Vicki:
    Like what you hear and want to take the next step? Set up a time to talk! https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
    Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
    Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
    Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

    • 24 min
    Don't get caught in their drama - How to interact with an emotionally immature person

    Don't get caught in their drama - How to interact with an emotionally immature person

    Being in a relationship with an emotionally immature parent/person has its challenges. We often feel worn out after interactions because we are doing all the emotional heavy lifting. Let’s give you a break from this weight workout.
    Today I share how we can take the lead in these interactions and preserve our energy when and if we are around these folks.
     
    Also discussed in this episode:
    How to let go of the fantasy of the other person changing.
    Two skills that will keep you from getting caught in their emotional drama.
    Scripts to help you feel more in the driver’s seat during convos.
    Questions for determining your personal engagement continuum.
     
    Links:
    Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
    https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
     
    Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
    Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
    Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
     
    Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide - https://subscribepage.io/pMJWsW
     

    • 34 min
    How Emotionally Immature Parents and People Pleasing go together

    How Emotionally Immature Parents and People Pleasing go together

    Our parents are the ones who taught us how to be in the world. How to interact with other people. The rules of life if you will. We gotta take them into account when we get curious about how we became pleasers and perfectionists. Not to blame them, but to get a holistic understanding of our relationship patterns. In this series I break down Emotionally Immature Parenting so you get a chance to understand some significant influences in our relationship development. This episode is the eye opening one. I lay it all out for you and share personality traits, interaction styles and ways to step out of the pattern for a minute and get an outside perspective on some relationship traps you may fall into with your parents. Next episodes are on how to interact with both your parents and other emotionally immature folks in your life and then how to deprogram this pattern for yourself. Learning about EIPs was a huge step in me unhooking from how I related to my parents for a long long time. To our emotional freedom!
    Also discussed in this episode:
    The top 4 personality traits of an Emotionally Immature Parent/Person.
    The DIRECT CONNECTION having an Emotionally Immature Parent has on our people pleasing and perfectionism.
    An absolutely necessary TRUTHS list to print and repeat to yourself!
     
    Links:
    Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk about how I can help right here:
    https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
     
    Join the email community! https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
     
    Links to freebies:
    https://powertothepleasers.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/TRUTHS-list-for-Adult-Kids-of-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-2.pdf
     
    Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/vicki.smith.3110/
    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
    Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

    • 33 min
    Where it all began - HOW we became people pleasers

    Where it all began - HOW we became people pleasers

    Pleasers and perfectionists can have this admirable quality of being super understanding and giving people the benefit of the doubt. And…it can become a not-so-great-quality if we don’t keep it in check.
    It can make us very tired and pretty resentful.
    In this episode I go back a little bit to our kidhood and explore where our try-try-try efforting in relationships began.
    Also discussed in this episode:
    The common denominator in all our relationships.
    An unconscious mantra I want you to walk away from right now!
    How dog training relates to our early nurturing experiences.
     
    Links:
    Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk about how I can help right here:
    https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
     
    Join the email community!
    https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
     

    Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/vicki.smith.3110/


     


    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/


     


    Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com


    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

    • 25 min
    Boundaries for the Holidays - The perfect gift for the pleaser in you!

    Boundaries for the Holidays - The perfect gift for the pleaser in you!

    The season of giving is here! And how ironic for a people pleaser because we give all year long! So what do we do to curb this natural tendency to keep on giving? Boundaries my friend. Boundaries make us more merry as we move into the holidays.
    In this episode I share a guest episode where I talked with my friend Lauren Wolfe on her show Your Zen Friend all about holiday boundaries.
    You can find out all about Lauren on the July 11th episode on Tapping or in the links below! 
    In this episode Lauren and I break down how to realistically set a boundary to keep your experience of the holidays light!
    Cool stuff in this episode:
    A step-by-step guide on what to do before you commit to another thing.
    The two biggest learning curves for pleasers when it comes to boundary setting.
    How to respond with kindness without overexplaining.
    Links:
    Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
    https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
     
    Connect with Lauren:
    Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1459988007829194
    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yourzenfriendpod/
    Website - https://www.laurencounseling.com
     
    Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
    Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
     
     

    • 42 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
23 Ratings

23 Ratings

Soulfully Aligned You ,

Powerful stuff!

Vicki is hitting on some powerful stuff. If you’ve never heard of Internal Family Systems, she’s helping you get to the depths of your soul. As a recovering people pleaser. I love this podcast!

MCJune3 ,

Recovering People Pleasers Unite!

As a recovering people pleaser, so many of these episodes are spot on. For so many women it is ingrained in us as little girls to become these people pleasers, and all it does is create loose boundaries and conformity on our own values system. A powerful podcast to put power back into our own hands.

StephBook ,

A Must Listen For Those People Pleasers!

Vicki does a great job to help a people pleaser reframe their mindset around setting healthy boundaries. I loved the episode around giving yourself permission to say no. 💕

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