Power to the Pleasers Vicki Smith

The Pixar movie Inside Out 2 is the inspiration for this episode. And being an Internal Family Systems therapist/coach, I had to use the movie to talk about parts! In the movie, anxiety takes a leading role in the life of the main character.  This results in impulsive, reactive, and frenzied behaviors. Even though this is a kid's movie, oh can we relate! We all know anxiety can drive us to people-please, strive for perfection, and act out of fear.
To counteract anxiety, I'm going to introduce you to a part of yourself that you might not usually rely on: Self energy, or what I like to call Heart Wisdom. This concept, inspired by IFS (Internal Family Systems), encourages us to lead with qualities that foster a proactive approach to managing anxiety.
This is the first in a short Power Pod summer series on the qualities of Self Energy. Enjoy!
Nervous System Freebie mentioned in the episode: http://subscribepage.io/KNF3Nq
 
 
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

What it’s about:
People react to each other—it's just how things go. Most of us are bumping up against others, unconsciously hoping those bumps won't hurt us or them because we don’t like conflict or tension. But here’s the deal: we are acting like feeling tension warrants going into survival mode. It doesn’t. And there is another way to work with the fear of upsetting someone.   
It's parts work. In this episode, we'll dive into Internal Family Systems (IFS) to understand not only what is going on under the surface that makes us feel so triggered, but how to help ourselves relax back from relying a little too much on this protective stance in relationships.
 
Interesting parts of the episode:
Know Your Parts: Learn about the different parts of your personality and how they influence your reactions.
Reduce Fear: Exploring how fear-based reactions, like people-pleasing and perfectionism, stem from a desire to feel safe.
Empathy in Action: Apply your knowledge of parts work to create more genuine and less reactive connections with others.
 
Links and Resources:
Free Parts Mapping Session: Interested in learning more about IFS? Here’s the link to get on the calendar! https://calendly.com/vicki-46/free-internal-family-systems-mapping-session
Further IFS exploration: Here’s a BLOG on the 8 C’s of Self Energy – a big part of IFS work. https://powertothepleasers.com/2022/01/04/the-8-cs-qualities-of-strength-stability-and-resilience/
Also check out No Bad Parts - https://ifs-institute.com/store/419 for Richard Schwartz latest book on IFS.
 
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
 
Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

Friendship is strange isn’t it? You make this unspoken agreement with another person to do what together? You aren’t dating. You aren’t co-workers. You aren’t “committed” like a life partner. What exactly are we agreeing to when we become friends? And how do you know if you are getting out of the lines of the agreement?Someone tells you. And if you are lucky, they are respectful and responsible about sharing their experience of your waning commitment. Today I share with you a recent exchange between myself and a friend that modeled for me the RIGHT way to do friendship. Welcome to a vulnerable share about how I was a bad friend and got called out on it.What makes this episode worth listening to:
Simple questions to help you do a Relationship Audit.
3 respectful ways to share hurt feelings with a friend
How doing consistent inner work busts up long standing shame.
 
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
 
Taking it to the next level! Let's talk about working together!
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
 

One of my clients inspired this episode after a few big ah-ha moments in a session.
They finally let their irritation and fatigue guide them to a balanced way of being naturally kind and generous.
And now you get the benefit of their hard work!
What makes this episode worth listening to:
Discover how you’re confusing people by “just being nice.”
Get honest about who you are into and who doesn’t make the cut.
How to use what you value as a guide to decide how you spend your time and energy.
 
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
 
Want to do more than listen?
Well, hit me up and let's talk about  working together! 
Schedule a time with the link below:
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

Today I am talking about the main thing that keeps people pleasers and perfectionists from setting boundaries – fear! I am going to walk you through a mindfulness practice to help you feel more relaxed as you can build the courage to confidently set boundaries and say “no” when you need to.
Join me in this episode to learn how you can stop letting fear get in the way of not only boundary setting, but pretty much anything that stops you in your tracks. 
 
In this episode:
Debunking a common myth about boundaries
How awareness puts you in a position of power
Mindfulness exercise that desensitizes you to discomfort
Freebie:From Shaky to Confident – Free guide to calming the F down!
https://subscribepage.io/KNF3Nq
 
Links:
Like what you hear? Let’s talk for a few to see how I can help!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
Join the email community! subscribepage.io/L8inBl
 
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

One of my pet peeves started this episode topic off – how social media posts about “boundary setting” are full of shit. Thankfully I have resolved my irritation, and I am sharing how you can as well.
I’d like to invite you to bring your OUTSIDE voice back into the rotation. Well, actually it’s the INSIDE voice that I am calling OUT.
This is all the things you practice saying in the shower or in the car and you never can imagine saying them IRL out loud.
I’ve got some good ideas about how you can make the IRL thing actually happen. What makes this episode worth listening to:
I ask you some super thought-provoking questions right at the beginning
Why you’ve said this more than you’d like to admit - “I’d never say that to their face!”
How to start moving the big boulder of FEAR that keeps you silent and resentful.
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
 
Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!
Schedule a time to talk and see if what I offer matches what you want to feel better about!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min