55 episodes
Power to the Pleasers Vicki Smith
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- Education
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5.0 • 23 Ratings
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Welcome to Power to the Pleasers podcast! Do you want to start doing things on your terms and finally feel confident just being yourself in relationships? Tune in every week to as we break down your people pleasing and perfectionistic patterns so you can move from being polite and doing it right, to showing up, speaking up and even laughing it up with people. Not sure it’s possible? Well stick around friends and I’ll show you how each week with actionable tips you can use in your everyday life.
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Stop making decisions from insecurity! Try these 2 game changing skills to get you back on track!
Decisions scramble people pleasers. We want to make sure everyone is happy with what we choose, but that will never happen. Hard to hear, but it’s the truth.
Harder to hear is the reality that we, as pleasers, do not often consider OURSELVES when it comes to making decisions. We get lost in what other people want or what others are doing. No rocking the boat right? In this episode I share how I got totally lost and made a stupid decision that I still live with today. Not an earth shattering one, but one that got my attention and basically that is the main point of this episode – attention and awareness. Enjoy listening to me completely forget my mindfulness practice and get caught up in belonging with the group.
Highlights and take aways from this episode:
Link to mini course on decision making using Internal Family Systems.
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
A simple 4 word mantra to guide you in decision making.
The super power of getting comfortable with discomfort.
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step? Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
No More Back and Forth – A mini course on Decision Making using Internal Family Systems
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q -
Here's how to deal with your FEAR of CONFLICT
Fear of conflict is on every pleaser and perfectionist’s list of “I-wish-this-wasn’t-such-a-big-deal-for-me”. It’s time to break this mountain of fear down! Because it is O L D!I’ll share a few reasons this fear has taken over, where it came from and then give you skills to move through fear (really any kind of fear) so you can feel more solid, more capable and more adult like when you need to have a conversation.
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step? Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
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POWER POD - Stop replaying past conversations
Cut to the chase episode using mindfulness to work with negative stories that cause us to waste time and energy replaying past events. This is a common sticking point for people pleasers - over analyzing past conversations and worrying x10 that we upset someone or we were selfish and dominated the conversation.
Listen to this short episode to find out how to work with this runaway train of worry thoughts and ease up on yourself. Peace out Pleasers!
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step? Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
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What to do when you're tired of being a people pleaser
It’s so easy to get caught in the decision making dilemma of – do I choose what is best for the other person or do I choose what is best for me?People pleasers live in an inner tug of war with their pleasing side wanting to keep the peace and their fledgling boundaries side wanting to protect their time and energy.
How do we get you off of this back and forth decision making conundrum?
Today I share how you can stop the fighting and start listening to these different parts of your personality.
Things to watch out for in this episode:
How to change your inner critical voice to a guiding consultant voice.
How to shift your feelings of shame and fear around anger to being more appreciative of its message.
The coupon code for the FREE mini-course on decision making for people pleasers! *Good for 48 hours from recording of show – March 13, 2024*https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/?coupon=REEL24
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step? Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q -
How Guilt messes with your ability to Set Boundaries
Guilt is a killer for people pleasers. We hate feeling it but we feel it all the time. Even when we haven’t done anything! And guess what? Most of the stuff we do isn’t bad enough TO feel guilty about!!!
The habit of Guilt is messing with your ability to set boundaries plain and simple. It's making you believe you are harming someone when you aren't - you are just setting limits. And everyone has the right to do that.
Today I share how we can lean into guilt and learn from it. Yes, that sounds horrible and no it won’t be half as bad as your mind makes it out to be. Which is my whole point with guilt in the first place! Your mind and your avoidance of conflict are screwing with your perspective.
Can you tell I get fired up about this topic?
Also discussed in this episode:
Two new ways of looking at this dreaded emotion.
How empathy makes you feel guilty when you don’t have to.
Guidelines and mindful questions to help you surf the wave of guilt instead of it pulling you under. *Can be used for any difficult feeling*.
Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q -
Deprogramming from your Emotionally Immature Parent
It’s pretty easy to lose ourselves in a relationship with an emotionally immature parent. Their need for our emotional soothing trains us to pay close attention to their moods and behaviors instead of stay in tune with our own experiences.
Today we go back to basics and turn our attention towards our own internal experiences. It’s time to re-learn who we are from the foundational ground up!
Also discussed in this episode:
The connection between not knowing yourself and a lack of self confidence.
How self knowledge is vital for clear decision making.
Mindfulness practices for the body, mind and heart.
Links:
No More Back and Forth
The mini course on how to feel more confident in your decision making. I use Internal Family Systems to walk you through the two parts involved in decision making – the pleaser and the boundaries part. Finally break free from the ultimate people pleaser’s dilemma – “Do I choose what is best for YOU or what works for ME?”
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
Connect with Vicki:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step? Set up a time to talk! https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
Customer Reviews
Powerful stuff!
Vicki is hitting on some powerful stuff. If you’ve never heard of Internal Family Systems, she’s helping you get to the depths of your soul. As a recovering people pleaser. I love this podcast!
Recovering People Pleasers Unite!
As a recovering people pleaser, so many of these episodes are spot on. For so many women it is ingrained in us as little girls to become these people pleasers, and all it does is create loose boundaries and conformity on our own values system. A powerful podcast to put power back into our own hands.
A Must Listen For Those People Pleasers!
Vicki does a great job to help a people pleaser reframe their mindset around setting healthy boundaries. I loved the episode around giving yourself permission to say no. 💕