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Sarah Normandin is a life coach for women and a recovering perfectionist. She used to be my own most enthusiastic critic.  Nothing she did met her high expectations and she had the emotional wounds to prove it. At best, she was your typical frenemy, whose backhanded comments lingered in her mind long into the wee hours.  At worst, her own self-doubt was so debilitating that she wasn't sure she could ever escape it.

Sarah isn't alone in this. Women often struggle with perfectionism and low self-esteem. When prompted, they can hardly manage to think of a neutral thing to say about themselves, let alone something positive.

Self-criticism affects more than just our self worth.  Our high standards are often reflected in other areas of our lives.  This can lead to stress at work and in relationships. It is exhausting to try so hard and constantly feel disappointed in ourselves and everyone else.

There is a general perception in our culture that it's normal for couples to fight. The pervasive belief is marriage and relationships are hard work. You hear that all the time. So, it's no surprise that many people think if you're going to commit, you need to roll up your sleeves and get prepared to battle your way through a lifetime of togetherness. That sounds like no one's idea of a good idea and it sets us up to believe that unhappy, dysfunctional relationships are normal. And yet, lots of people decide to do it anyway. It's a mystery.


So we couple up, and hope for happily-ever-after but prepare for the worst, because you know, it's going to be hard work. And after the new car smell wears off it starts. Maybe it's not much in the beginning, but we fight and we think that fighting is normal, if not actually healthy. 


However, over time, conflict and resentment start to color how we perceive our relationships and our partners. In fact, eventually, conflict and resentment change the way we think about ourselves. The truth is a lot of fighting in a relationship, while it might be normal, is not healthy at all. The long-term prognosis for a couple that's fighting a lot isn't good, no matter how normal fighting might or might not be. 

We are going to talk about 1 strategy that will help you keep your relationship out of the conflict zone and keep you relating to your partner in real-time where it's actually happening. 

Read the blog post here.  

 

The bottom line about moods is we get to choose them and whether you believe that or not, it's true. Moods aren't random. They are the cumulative effect of our focus and that's 100% in our control. 

We are going to talk about: 

My favorite ways to milk a bad mood

Why you shouldn't ever do that

And 4 ways to turn a bad mood around on a dime. 

The bottom line is you can be as happy as you want to in any given moment. You've simply got to make that choice and stick your landing in a feel better place. 

 

 

 

28% of U.S. students in grades 6–12 experienced bullying.20% of U.S. students in grades 9–12 experienced bullyingApproximately 30% of young people admit to bullying others in surveys70.6% of young people say they have seen bullying in their schools9% of students in grades 6–12 experienced cyberbullying.Only about 20 to 30% of students who are bullied notify adults about the bullying
The statistics are scary and it doesn't stop with kids. Most adults have experienced bullying, often in the workplace. 

So, what do we do with it? It's a question that seems to defy many of the strategies we commonly use to deal with bullies or help our children manage when they are being bullied. 

Often the approach to dealing with bullying is to try to stop the bully. However, that approach often leaves children less empowered and still at risk of being bullied again and again. 

What if we took our focus off the bully and instead taught our children to be bully-proof? By empowering our children to be confident we can teach them skills that last a lifetime. Bully-proofing our children can be done. The skills are teachable. 

Are you feeling stressed on the job? You're not alone - statistics show that workplace stress is on the rise.

But, what do you do about it? In this episode of Success Unlimited, Dr. Patricia Thompson shares helpful tips for (1) diagnosing the causes of your stress and (2) dealing with them head-on.

By now, we all know that we're supposed to take time for self-care and relaxation. 

Still, some of us struggle to make time to do it at all, while others might not make the most of their time when they're doing it.

In this brief episode, Dr. Patricia Thompson shares a recent experience that has inspired her to up her self-care game. Hopefully, it'll do the same for you!